Preamble: Evening. It mightn't be the greatest example of human empathy, but it can only be the thought of the misery and confusion that Spurs fans are experiencing, that is preventing Newcastle United supporters from tossing their black and white striped toasters into the bath with them at present.
The Magpies haven't won in six league and cup matches, and while a point at Everton in their last outing is perhaps the prelude to the first green shoots of recovery, the protracted search for new owners and the temporary nature of Joe Kinnear's position as manager, can't imbue Geordie hearts with much hope.
Newcastle's cause isn't helped any by the absence of Michael Owen, who has been ruled out for a week with a groin strain, but Obafemi Martins is back in contention. Incidentally, can any Newcastle fans email me and let me know what you think of Little Mickey O'. I get the impression he is merely tolerated on Tyneside. But what do I know?
As for Manchester City, they have been playing Kevin Keegan-esque football of late. They've been scoring goals by the hatful, but conceding them by the bagful. Mark Hughes needs to find the right balance between attack and defence if he's to feel secure in the City hotseat. Plugging the hole in midfield might be a start. I'd stick old stager and former Newcastle man Dietmar Hamann in for tonight's encounter. But, again, what do I know? And as I'm in a questioning mood, what do you City fans make of Mark Hughes now? Have you accepted the former Old Trafford favourite yet?
My prediction: Newcastle 1-2 Man City
The teams are in:
Newcastle: Given, Beye, Taylor, Coloccini, Bassong, Geremi,
Guthrie, Butt, Duff, Martins, Ameobi. Subs: Harper, Cacapa,
Jose Enrique, N'Zogbia, Xisco, Edgar, Carroll.
Man City: Hart, Richards, Ben-Haim, Dunne, Garrido,
Wright-Phillips, Kompany, Hamann, Ireland, Jo, Robinho. Subs:
Schmeichel, Onuoha, Elano, Fernandes, Evans, Sturridge, Berti.
Referee: Rob Styles (Hampshire)
So Hamann starts for City, which means I'm changing my prediction to Newcastle 1-2 Man City. The pace of Obafemi Martins will test City's defenders, but Micah Richards isn't exactly a slouch.
Pre-match emails: "As a Newcastle fan I personally couldn't give two-hoots about Owen or any of the current players, aside from Shay," says Toon's very own David Thompson, with not a hint of a hoot. "All I want to see happen is a new owner with genuine motives and a manager we can believe in. Don't care much if that is KK or not. Really want to see Shearer given shot and a good run at it." So there's a particularly frosty opinion of Little Mickey O'.
Pre-match build-up: The players are lined up in the tunnel and ready to take to the St James' Park turf. Robinho looks like the mascot besides such giants as Richard Dunne and Didi Hamann. Incidentally, this is Joe Kinnear's first match in charge of Newcastle at home so it will be interesting to see what kind of welcome he gets.
Another Mickey O' email: "The human injury has been one of the biggest busts," says Pete Boyce in Chicago, forgetting Pamela Anderson, Jordan and Peggy from Eastenders. "We should have sold Owen while we could. He's old news now, especially as he's out of the England picture too. Martins is the man really... he's like Owen was 10 years ago."
We're underway: Newcastle's players huddle together and the Geordie fans roar. Rob Styles blows his whistle really really hard and the match is off.
1 min: Despite leaving Newcastle when mobile phones were a novelty, Dietmar Hamann is still getting booed by the home fans. Ameobi elbows Richard Dunne in the side of the head , but the Irishman doesn't flinch.
3 min: Wright-Phillips breaks sharply up the right wing for City and wins a corner, which Newcastle make a meal of clearing. Eventually Coloccini stabs it away for a throw. City have made a commanding start.
5 min: Hamann starts a smart City move with a reverse pass to Stephen Ireland who brings Wright-Phillips into the game on the right. The little winger plays a one-two with Micah Richards and clips a ball towards Jo at the backpost, but the ball just drifts over the touchline.
7 min: City are looking to utilise the pace of Wright-Phillips at every opportunity. "Little Mickey O' was very good at Liverpool as was Ian Rush, but both are past it now," says Gary Naylor. Gary Naylor? Hang on, when did you start supporting Newcastle Gary? Isn't the situation at Everton stressful enough? "Do the Toon Army look forward to seeing Torres in the black and white in 2019? Or Kuyt in 2009?" I doubt it Gary. Meanwhile on Tyneside, Newcastle win a corner...
8 min: Geremi has two attempts at a corner, but both are cleared comfortably. Martins picks up the second loose ball and drives towards the box, where he is felled by a clumsy challenge 20 yards from goal on the left hand side. Free-kick. Joe Hart screams at his wall to move right and Geremi takes a run up...
10 min: ...but Geremi hits it just a yard over the bar.
12 min: City win a penalty!
13 min: Robinho is sent scampering through on goal and Beye makes a clean challenge from the left and just grazes the ball. Rob Styles points to the spot injustly and shows Beye the red card. Harsh!
13 min: Newcastle 0-1 Man City, Robinho. The Brazilian sends Given to the right and sweeps the ball in to the left. The Geordie fans scream 'cheat' at Rob Styles.
15 min: When you're up against it you can never get a break. Spurs were down to 10 men after 10 minutes yesterday and now Newcastle find themselves with a mountain to climb. They gamely attack down the right with Duff however, but he is dispossessed and City break.
16 min: Micah Richards is sent into the inside-right channel by Robinho and Coloccini almost fells the big Manchester City right-back with a clumsy attempt to stab the ball clear from behind. Richards stays on his feet and Newcastle concede a corner instead of what could have been another penalty.
19 min: Newcastle need to regroup now. City are controlling play and using their extra man expertly as they knock the ball to feet comfortably in midfield. Guthrie and Butt look set to have a tiring night at the office. Guthrie shows his frustration by booting Stephen Ireland on the achilles. The former Liverpool player is lucky to escape a booking.
22 min: "Well another Rob Styles howler," says George Templeton. "But he won't get punished for it because it is okay to screw up a big decision as long as they hurt teams like Newcastle and Bolton." Hang on George, are you saying that Newcastle are now officially a 'small' Premier League club? Disclaimer: No offence to Bolton fans is intended in this tit-for-tat exchange with Mr Templeton.
24 min: City have made five times as many passes as Newcastle in the first quarter of the match. Two of those passes find Wright-Phillips on the right, who again wins a corner. He whips it towards Richards in the box, but the ball slides off his forehead and bounces out of play for a goal-kick.
26 min: City's traveling supporting is ole-ing every pass already. Hamann picks the ball up and slides a short pass to Robinho. He jinks his way past Coloccini and plays a return pass with Ireland. The Brazilian then clips a shot at goal, but a deflection takes it towards Jo at the backpost, who just can't stretch his long legs far enough to deflect the ball past Given.
29 min: An explanation from Evertonian Gary Naylor as to why he's so interested in Newcastle: "Us Everton fans are indulging in displacement activity. From Wikipedia - 'displacement activities often involve actions to bring comfort such as scratching, drinking or feeding.' Or, obviously, laughing at Tottenham and Newcastle." Cheers Gary. This match has been spoiled by Rob Styles. Newcastle are having a go at attacking down City's weaker left hand-side though. Duff wins a free-kick in a dangerous area 30 yards from goal on City's right. Geremi prepares to swing it in.
30 min: Geremi plays an inviting ball to the far post, but Hart rushes out of his goal and punches the ball and Richard Dunne squarely in the chops. The big man is pole-axed by that.
33 min: Dunne gets to his feet like a dazed boxer and is taken off for treatment. Newcastle should make the most of the temporary 10-men v 10-men scenario.
35 min: Martins wins a header from a long ball and finds Ameobi. The big striker shows a touch of finesse with a beautifully weighted pass to Duff in the inside-right channel, but Duff curls his shot pitifully into the arms of Hart. Newcastle can't afford such profligacy when they're a man down. In fact, I'll re-phrase that: Newcastle can't afford such profligacy full-stop.
37 min: Dunne returns to the fray, so City have the one-man advantage restored. They attempt to slow play down with some laboured passing among the back four. It works. A hush descends upon St James' Park.
39 min: MBM reader Duncan McVerry likens Rob Styles to a clown. "This couldn't be the SAME Rob Styles who awarded Chelsea a penalty at Anfield last season when there was no contact? Or the same Rob Styles who awarded a penalty for Man Utd earlier this season when there was no foul? Could the SAME Rob Styles have awarded another Jackanory penalty? Is he wearing a big red nose, oversize shoes and is there a car with square wheels and doors that fall off anywhere to be seen?" No he's wearing black and there's no car parked up anywhere near the Gallowgate end as far as I can see Duncan. If any doors explode though I'll be sure to let you know. Following a lull in play City go close after a corner on the left. Hamann wins a header which loops towards the far post but just lands on the roof of the netting.
42 min: City seem intent to get through to half-time with their goal advantage intact. They continue to keep possession without looking interested in going forward. Mark Hughes looks a little peeved.
43 min: Goal! Newcastle 1-1 Man City. Ameobi.
44 min: Did I say Mark Hughes looked peeved? He'll be furious now. Newcastle, quite aptly, score a comedy goal. Martins hits a shot from 20 yards which deflects off Duff to Dunne. The big Irish defender whacks his clearance into Coloccini. The ball then lands at startled Ameobi's feet 10 yards from goal, and showing all the composure of a man who hadsn't scored in two years, he lashes wildly at the ball and somehow slices it into the right of the goal. Classic comedy action.
Half-time: Well what a half. I'd written Newcastle off, but thanks to a malignant complacency spreading through the Man City team and some healthy character from Newcastle's players, the Toon are back from behind. I'm off to get a half-time cup of tea. Your emails to follow...
Half-time emails: "Whatever happened to Damien Duff?" asks Tom Chivers. "It's sad. He was absolutely amazing at Blackburn and even for a while at Chelsea; there was a time when it was hard to say who was better, him or Robben. Now it's hard to say who's worse, him or Harry Kewell - which is a tragic little tale in its own right. (Disclaimer: Harry Kewell may have become really good since he wandered off to Turkey; I don't know but I doubt it)" Interesting Tom, and also, what is it with left wingers and injuries? Robben, Duff and Kewell are all in-for-a-week-out-for-a-month kind of players. Please, no obvious jokes about that last description.
"In reply to Duncan McVerry's question," says Kevin Titman. "I would hazard the following guesses as to Rob Styles' form of transport, especially after the game: bullet-proof stretch limo, with plenty of boot room for rather dog-eared red and yellow cards or a St John's ambulance." For his sake I hope he's not getting a train, as he seems to miss everything (apologies).
45 min: Rob Styles runs out to a vitriolic reception from the Newcastle faithful. City begin the second half kicking right to left on my tellybox if that helps you paint a picture in your minds. Martins runs into trouble on the edge of the Newcastle box and Stephen Ireland tries to chip Given from 18 yards, but doesn't get the required lift.
47 min: Duff is fouled for Newcastle. Free-kick 35 yards from goal on the right. Geremi swings a great ball in towards the back post, but nobody gambles on it and the ball drifts out for a goal-kick.
49 min: Wright-Phillips is bundled out of play on the right by Bassong. Garrido whips the ball towards the front-post but Newcastle clear easily. Meanwhile in the Guardian.co.uk offices. A colleague of mine has just admitted he has a man-crush on Robinho. He's 'pretty' and has 'grace' apparently. Couldn't say the same for Richard Dunne really.
51 min: Newcastle are proving more combative opponents early in the second half. A combination of Nicky Butt's studs and Danny Guthrie's shins wins the ball back in midfield. Guthrie sends Martins scampering down the left wing, but the striker lacks support and City win back possession. I expect Newcastle to try to hold on for the draw. This might not rate high on the fun-factor scale...
54 min: Jo has been far from impressive for City. He has failed to compete any time he has received the ball with his back to goal and had the attentions of a defender to shrug off. This time Bassong easily dispossesses Jo, who falls to the floor in the vain hope of a free-kick.
56 min: Bassong then steams into Richards and leaves the right-back prone on the turf. He's taken off for treatment and might need to be replaced. The physicality continues as Butt trips Robinho 35 yards out. The resulting free-kick comes to nothing.
58 min: Richards is replaced by Onuoha. That's a blow for City as Richards had kindled a tidy understanding with Wright-Phillips on the right wing, who is still proving City's most potent threat.
60 min: Kompany sends a fine strike from 30 yards straight into the arms of Given, but Newcastle deserve credit for limiting City to long range efforts. They're working as a unit and look to have belief. Perhaps Kinnear is recreating that Wimbledon thing...
62 min: Goal! Newcastle 2-1 Man City, Dunne (og)
62 min: What a turn up for the books this could be. Martins wins a corner on the right, which Geremi swings into the centre of the penalty area. With not a Newcastle player within two yards of him, Richard Dunne side-foots it into the top right-hand corner. I think that's called karma.
66 min: "Did Kinnear see this Newcastle goal [the first] or had he wandered off to the dressing room early again?" asks Andy Waddington. "He missed both goals at Everton because he left early and returned late for half time. So should he just stay at home and watch on TV since they can't score with his overbearing presence?" Definitely not Andy. He's witnessed both these goals, and don't quote me on this, but I'm sure he gave Richard Dunne his hateful 'Geordie press' stare before the big defender shanked that one into his own goal.
68 min: Ched Evans is on for Dietmar Hamann, as City now have to change the game. So much for my theory of Hamann being able to bolt the back door. The young Welshman immediately makes an impact by trying to chip the ball over Given, who deflects the ball out for a corner.
69 min: Wright-Phillips swings the ball into Jo, who heads powerfully at goal, but Given again shows his reactions are up among the best in the Premier League, by tipping the ball over for another corner. City are cranking up the pressure.
71 min: Martins is replaced by N'Zogbia. Martins has worked hard on his comeback and gets a healthy round of applause as he leaves the field. Wright-Phillips eventually lofts the corner into the box. But it has no venom and Given easily plucks it out of the air.
73 min: N'Zogbia plays a tidy one-two with Duff who races clear on his favoured left wing. The Irishman sends a low cross in to Ameobi, but he can't wrap his foot around the ball to direct it into the corner and drills it wide.
76 min: Robinho finally arouses from his slumber and jinks past Coloccini before clipping a disguised shot towards the left-hand-side of the goal. But Given stretches sharply and collects the ball into his midriff. Mark Hughes' men are lacking invention. Duff breaks for Newcastle and finds N'Zogbia inside him whose shot from an impossible range is deflected out for a throw.
78 min: Shola Ameobi is given a hero's exit as he makes way for Andy Carroll. He's put a shift in, and scored, albeit fortuitously.
80 min: Steven Taylor and Ched Evans try to win man-points on the left touchline. Evans eyeballs Taylor, who towers over him, before Rob Styles does something sensible for a change and tells them to stop acting like kids and get on with the game.
82 min: Mark Hughes makes his final change and replaces Garrido with Daniel Sturridge. He'll inject some pace into the City attack, if not a particularly great first touch.
83 min: Given makes a match-winning save. His Irish compatriot Stephen Ireland takes the ball on the chest 25 yards from goal and hits a vicious curling volley low to Given's right-hand-side. But Given somehow gets an incredibly strong hand to the ball and deflects it straight in front of him where he picks it up and snuffs out the danger. So that's why Given is loved on Tyneside...
85 min: Goal! Newcastle 2-2 Man City, Ireland: Did I say match-winning save? Hmmm. Anyway, Robinho just showed why he's worth so much money; the Brazilian turns sharply after Dean Sturridge finds him 25 yards from goal and instantly rolls the ball to the on-rushing Ireland who finishes smartly to Given's left. So much for that Given save.
88 min: Ireland almost wins it. Evans plays him in the right hand channel, where this time, slightly closer to Given, the Irishman just drags his shot wide. City are going to try and nick this.
90 mins: Newcastle are showing signs of exhaustion. Guthrie runs out of steam as he tries to break and Ben-Haim steals possession. Wright-Phillips breaks and wins a corner. Tyneside collectively groans as four minutes of injury time are announced.
90+1 min: Sturridge connects with Wright-Phillips' corner but his header flies into the relieved Geordies packed behind the goal.
90+3 min: Newcastle cleverly hold possession in the left-hand corner, although Carroll feels the wrath of Richard Dunne's boots as the City defender clouts him and wins back possession.
90+4 min: City clear but that's it at St James' Park. Rob Styles blows for full-time and Newcastle win a deserved point.
Full-time musings: Newcastle more than warranted their point. They suffered another Rob Styles howler and through hard-work and a slice of their own luck managed to claw their way back into a match they looked sure to lose. After failing to win in three matches and throwing away leads in their last two, Mark Hughes might be feeling a little less than safe in his own position at Man City, despite assurances from the new owners. Thanks for all your emails. Good night.
