There is only one place to start with Tommy Bowe. It's not the runaway try that helped Ireland clinch their first grand slam since 1948; not his status as a near-certainty for the Lions tour; not even his intense pride at being the first man from Co Monaghan to play for Ireland in more than 80 years. "Don't bring up the bloody singing," he groans, burying his head in his palms barely five seconds after shaking hands. "That song has come back to haunt me in a big way."
Love it or loathe it, the soundtrack to Ireland's title celebrations is The Black Velvet Band, a traditional folk song that has become Bowe's personal anthem since his solo rendition in front of 17,000 ecstatic supporters in central Dublin last weekend. "After a few pints it's a song I sometimes sing – everyone normally jumps in behind me and it seems like a great idea," sighs a mortified Bowe, now a legend on Facebook and beyond. "It became a bit of a team song throughout the campaign but unfortunately they stitched me up and decided to leave me hanging. I had an inkling as soon as they called me up."
Talk to the winger about his high-profile weekend, though, and it is the pin-drop hush behind the Irish posts the previous day that will stay with him longest. Fifteen ashen-faced men standing motionless beneath an H-shaped gallows, willing Wales's Stephen Jones to miss the long-range penalty that stood between them and national pandemonium. "You didn't know whether to look or close your eyes," Bowe says. There was total silence, other than to discuss who would catch it if it came off the bar. Everyone else was just standing there, willing it to drop anywhere wide or short. It was one of those surreal situations you can't really describe."
Heaven knows how Irish supporters would have reacted had the ball sailed over – throttling Paddy Wallace with a black velvet band, probably. Bowe is keener to dwell on what did unfold: the euphoria; the celebrations with his father Paul, who runs a business importing fine foods to Ireland, that atoned for the darker days in his career; the blizzard of text messages; the reception at Dublin airport; and Sunday night's dinner at the team hotel for partners, players and friends. From there it was up the road to a local pub for another sing-song, led this time by the team's guitar-playing masseur. By Monday morning Emyvale's answer to Josef "Hear My Song" Locke had completely lost his voice, barely able to croak down the phone to the excited radio stations and newspaper reporters of Monaghan as he crawled on to the plane back to Wales.
And Tuesday? Back to reality. The Ospreys have a major three weeks ahead of them in three competitions, starting with today's EDF Cup semi-final against Gloucester at the Ricoh Arena in Coventry. All the Ospreys internationals and senior players were required to gather at Llandarcy at 7.30am, and the 25-year-old Bowe thought it wise not to arrive in his Irish tracksuit. "I've kind of had to forget about it," he says. "They're more likely to be outside my house trying to kill me."
Punishment was short and sharp – "I had to have my breakfast on my own" – but Warren Gatland's suggestion that Welsh players seriously disliked their Irish counterparts caused more mirth than serious offence. "You can imagine the stick I got in the Ireland camp," Bowe says. "'We send Tommy off to Wales and all of a sudden they hate us!' It didn't show me in a very good light, did it? Look, if they don't like us Irish, they do a good job of hiding it. I actually think there's a great bond between the countries, as well as a very heated rivalry. I can't see any problems on the Lions tour – if anything I'd think it would be the complete opposite."
Bowe is the sort of outgoing character that would enhance Ian McGeechan's squad in South Africa. His form demands it, too. With his Gaelic footballer's hands and long-striding all-round game, the 6ft 3in sprinter has scored 10 tries in 23 Tests since his debut in 2004. He can also play at outside-centre and has bounced back after being omitted from the 2007 World Cup squad for the rugby league convert Brian Carney. Bowe, one of two current internationals in his family – his sister Hannah is an Irish hockey representative – is happy to have raised spirits on both sides of the border. "Unfortunately, Ireland's been a fairly depressing place for the last couple of months," he says. "If you wake up in good form in the morning all it takes is one radio news bulletin to be brought back down again. The recession's tough and the recent goings-on in Northern Ireland have also been a real shock."
At this rate, however, even the Welsh will soon be singing the praises of Monaghan's favourite sporting son since Barry McGuigan (for the geographically confused, the county is within the province of Ulster but not part of Northern Ireland). His region is into the last eight of the Heineken Cup and lie third in the Magners League; add the EDF title and a Lions series win and Bowe – "If it happens you can definitely put in the paper that I'm the common denominator" – will be indisputably the year's stand-out player.
"Last weekend was something else but there's so much more to go," he points out. "You can't play rugby when you're 10 feet up in the clouds." True, but the vapour trails of Ireland's grand slam triumph may encourage the Ospreys to soar as well.
