Liverpool, with Javier Mascherano at right-back by the looks of things: Reina, Mascherano, Skrtel, Carragher, Insua, Benayoun, Gerrard, Alonso, Riera, Kuyt, Ngog.
Subs: Cavalieri, Dossena, Hyypia, Aurelio, Babel, Lucas, El Zhar.
Sunderland, with Tal Ben-Haim, who's arguably a worse right-back than Javier Mascherano at right-back: Fulop, Ben-Haim, Ferdinand, Collins, McCartney, Malbranque, Whitehead, Reid, Leadbitter, Richardson, Jones.
Subs: Gordon, Bardsley, Edwards, Cisse, Murphy, Davenport, Healy.
Referee: Mark Halsey (Lenient of Lancashire)
Preamble: Javier Mascherano is playing at right-back for Liverpool, because Martin Skrtel can't be trusted there and Jamie Carragher has asked not to. Liverpool will play a 4-4-2 with Ngog and Kuyt beavering away up front. Sunderland have come for a point and will play accordingly. Djibril Cisse misses out as Kenwyne Jones is selected to play alone in front of a five-man midfield. Tal Ben-Haim remains in the right-back berth despite the return of Phil Bardsley to fitness.
Pre-match niceties: Click-clack! Click-clack! Click-clack! The teams march down the stairs and out on to the pitch, with Sunderland skipper Dean Whitehead looking even more lantern-jawed than usual, such his determination to lead his side to glory tonight. As the teams wait for kick-off, Steven Gerrard gives his colleague Dirk Kuyt a big hug. Why? My colleague Scott Murray is sitting alongside me waiting for kick-off, but if he tried to give me a big hug, I'd punch him in the face.
1 min: Liverpool kick off. They're playing into the Kop in the first half, which means Sunderland have won half the battle already.
2 min: Liverpool's players are stroking the ball around between them with assorted Sunderland players in dogged, if fruitless pursuit.
2 min: On the right flank, David Ngog squares the ball for Yossi Benayoun, who pulls it back to Dirk Kuyt for a shot on goal. Danny Collins intervenes and clears ...
3 min: ... and Sunderland counter. The ball is pinged towards Kenwyne Jones on the halfway line. The giant Trinidad and Tobagon(ian?) rolls Carragher, skins Mrtn Skrtel and suddenly finds himself through on goal with only Pepe Reina to beat and all the time in the world to beat him. The goalkeeper ignores Carragher's exhortations for him to advance (no, really) and stays on his feet. Jones makes life easy for him by scuffing a low shot far too close to the keeper's right. That was a dreadful waste of a marvellous opportunity. Oh Kenwyne!
5 min: Xabi Alonso shoots and the ball hits Tal Ben Haim's left hand. Referee Mark Halsey ignores the penalty appeals and waves play-on, prompting Steven Gerrard to try from distance with an effort that hits Ben Haim in the midriff and literally lifts him off his feet. Sunderland play the ball out of defence.
10 min: "When Sunderland win this, I'll be laughing for a month," writes Mike Cameron. "The season that knocks Fergie off his f***ing perch? Scousers really do have a sense of humour!"
11 min: Sunderland goalkeeper Martin Fulop gets down at his near post to save the first real shot in anger - a low diagonal drive from Dirk Kuyt, who'd been played in by Steven Gerrard.
12 min: Sunderland aren't getting much of the ball here, but on the rare occasions that they do get a touch, they're looking quite composed. For now, though, Liverpool are in possession. Ngog is played in with a through-ball and brings another smart save out of Fulop. It wouldn't have counted if he had scored, as the linesman was semaphoring: offside.
14 min: Liverpool attack down the right again. Yossi Benayoun sends the ball fizzing low across the edge of the six-yard box, where Dirk Kuyt slides in an attempt to divert it into the net. He fails to make contact and Fulop gathers.
16 min: Mark Halsey may be the most lenient referee in the Premier League by a considerable margin, but doesn't hesitate to book David Ngog for a late tackle on Kenwyne Jones.
18 min: "I like that they've got you doing this minute-by-minute," writes John Lally. "Can we have a count of how many Liverpool fans complain about the already anti-Scouse bias being increased by the report being done by a supporter of the other team? My over/under mark is 45." The very notion that there are 45 people out there reading this, let alone 45 Scousers that can read, is laughable. £10 on unders for me.
20 min: "No-one can doubt what blood is running through Jamie Carragher's veins," says Andy Gray on Sky Sports. The implication being, of course, that if you prick Jamie Caragher he bleeds ... eh, red.
22 min: A great bit of skill by David Ngog releases Dirk Kuyt down the right flank. The Dutchman crosses and Tal Ben Haim's attempted cushioned header to his keeper has to be hacked clear by Anton Ferdinand when it falls horribly short in a crowded penalty area. Martin Fulop gives the Israeli a rollocking for his rather relaxed attitude towards defending.
25 min: Liverpool advance again. Yossi Benayoun tries a shot from distance, but his howitzer is blocked by Danny Collins. Liverpool tries to prise open a gap from the left wing and this time Ferdinand blocks. Liverpool win a corner, the ball is overhit in to the mixer, where Kuyt's leaps to head fresh air.
27 min: Free kick to Liverpool, apporimately 50 yards out, well left of centre. Gerrard attempts to fizz a curler in towards the far post, a spectator in Row J stretches to get on the end of it.
30 min: "Can you imagine Fergie playing Carrick at right back because Wes Brown didn't fancy playing there?" asks Ben Shepherd. "For £80k a week you play where ever you're told to play." Play right-back? I'm not sure there are any depths opf depravity I'd refuse to plumb for a couple of months worth of £80,000-per-week wages
32 min: Xabi Alonso tries a shot from distance which looks to be heading goalwards until Danny Collins sticks out a leg and deflects the ball out for a corner, from which the ball ends up with Masherano about 40 yards out. He has a pop and his drive bobbles and swirls in the air before screaming this much over the crossbar.
35 min: Liverpool are tearing Sunderland a new one here, but without looking particularly dangerous. The visitors are soaking up all the pressure being exerted on them by their hosts and trying to play, rather than hoof their way out of trouble. They win their first corner of the game, then their second.
37 min: With the ball in the quadrant, Liverpool's players get busy marking their "zones", leaving Kieran Richardson standing alone and unmarked on the edge of the penalty area. The ball is dinked his way from the corner, but falls on his bad foot and is scuffed so badly that it heads for a throw-in rather than wide. If he'd got to have a crack with his sweet left foot, Liverpool could have been in real trouble.
40 min: Andy Reid places a 30-yard pass from midfield on Kenwyne Jones's chest, but the centre-forward miscontrols. His blushes are spared by the referee's whistle: offside.
41 min: Steven Gerrard wins a crunching tackle in the centre-circle and pings the ball towards David Ngog. He advances on the Sunderland penalty area, before feeding Javier Mascherano on the right. The Argentinian shoots, sending his low diagonal drive wide of the upright.
44 min: Liverpool attack down the left, with Riera sending in an excellent cross. David Ngog and Anton Ferdinand rise together and the Sunderland defender heads over his own crossbar from about five yards out.
45 min: Javier Mascherano gets a ticking-off, and possibly a yellow card, for cutting across the bows of Dean Whitehead and knocking him off the ball.
Half-time
Second half is go. No changes on either side.
46 min: Liverpool win a corner, which should have been a goal-kick. It's swung in by Steven Gerrard and Yossi Benayoun skims a header wide of the back post. If he'd made slightly firmer contact with the ball he'd almost certainly have scored.
48 min: "As one of the apparently less than 45 Scousers who can read and are reading this (18th min), I can assure you that no level of Guardian anti-Liverpool sentiment can possibly match my own disdain for LFC at the moment," writes Nick Pettigrew.
51 min: Grant Leadbitter plays the ball into the path of Tal Ben Haim as he sprints down the left flank. Having shruggged off the last remaining vowels in his name, an unencumbered Mrtn Skrtl beats him to the ball and puts it out for a corner, from which nothing comes.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Sunderland (Ngog 51) Bah! Alberto Riera skins Tal Ben Haim down the left wing and sends the ball to the far side of the six yard box. Sprinting forward, Steven Gerrard heads the ball back across the face of goal, where David Ngog has the simple task of poking the ball into the gaping goal to score his first goal for Liverpool. Well done, sir.
54 min: On the subject of Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez taking Sandra Redknapp on loan to slot in at right-back, Neil Mackie has this to say. "So, Benitez will play Skrtel, Carragher and Mascherano there before considering the reserve team captain, Stephen Darby, who plays at right back and is considered by many reserve team-watchers as being a good thing (in and around the level of Stephen Warnock, but will get better with experience). Liverpool need a new manager, one who isn't afraid of playing to win."
56 min: On a Liverpool breakaway down the left flank, Emiliano Insua shoots diagonally across the face of goal and wide when he should have squared for Ngog to finish the game.
57 min: "Am I the only one who feels the reason there are so many ads at half time these days at the expense of punditry and actual analysis, is partly because there are so few good pundits around?" asks Gareth Evans, who seems unaware of how TV revenue works. "Jamie Redknapp and Peter Reid on Sky tonight? Jesus. My question to you and the MBMers is 'are there any pundits out there you rate highly?' I'm a fan of the BBC pundits to a limit, but even they grate after a while. I do like cameos from Martin O'Neill though - interesting if baffling." Pundits I rate? Off the top of my head I'd say that Stan Collymore gives good opinion, as does Pat Nevin. It's a shame they're wasted on the televisual deadzone that is Five's coverage of the Uefa Cup. Of course they also appear on Five Live, but I can't be dealing with their commentator Alan Green so I don't listen very often.
61 min: Sunderland substitution: Grant Leadbitter off, Jinkin' Djibril Cisse on.
62 min: Sunderland win a free-kick wide on the right touchline. Once players from both teams have congregated in the Liverpool penalty area, Kieran Richardson blasts it high and wide. That's a freakishly bad delivery.
GOAL! Liverpool 2-0 Sunderland (Benayoun 64) Bah! A howler from Martin Fulop, who flaps a straightforward David Ngog looping overhead cross that he should have caught straight to the feet of Yossi Benayoun, who sidefoots the ball into an empty net from six yards.
67 min: Sunderland''s resistance has almost completely crumbled. An excellent last ditch tackle from Anton Ferdinand prevents Steven Gerrard from putting Liverpool 3-0 up, then Alberto Riera shoots high over the crossbar when scoring looked easier.
68 min: Greg Cugnini is very annoyed, for reasons best known to himself. In an email entitled Neil Mackie is a fool, Stephen Darby is injured he writes: "Darby was scheduled to start tonight and is out injured, which is probably why Rafa is playing Mascherano at right-back. Don't let the facts get in the way of having a go at the manager, though." If only there was some sort of text commentary on the internet, possibly provided by the website of a reputable newspaper, where readers could furnish themselves with that kind of information in order to prevent themselves from looking foolish.
70 min: Rafa decides 2-0 will do him and sends on the holding midfielder Lucas in place of David Ngog, who's probably put in his best ever shift in a Liverpool shirt tonight. The teenager gets a warm round of applause from the most knowledgable fans in the world as he makes his way from the field of play.
73 min: "Surely you are aware that RTE has the monopoly on great pundits: John Giles - God incarnate and Éamon Dunphy, the devil in disguise!" writes Tom Jordan. "Throw in a hapless Graeme Souness or the legendary days of baffled Brady and you have the dream ticket of entertaining verbal warfare." Tom has a point - anyone who is unfamiliar with this crack team's work should go to YouTube and type in Dunphy's name. His opinions may change like the weather, but they're always entertaining.
76 min: Sunderland substitution: Kenwyne Jones off, Daryl Murphy on. Sunderland are getting eviscerated in midfield since Cisse came on and they went 4-4-2. I'd say they'd gladly settle for a 2-0 defeat at this stage.
78 min: Memo to the many hundreds of people who have mailed in to enquire about my sanity after I labelled Liverpool's fans the most knowledgable in the world: yes, I was being sarcastic. Do I have to signpost everything? Eh?
80 min: Sunderland substitution: Steed Malbranque off, Carlos Edwards on. Also, a point of information: contrary to what I said earlier, Liverpool were not playing into the Kop in the first half, they're playing into it in the second. I was bamboozled by an unfamiliar camera angle. Liverpool substitution: Ryan Babel on, Steven Gerrard off.
82 min: This game might be over as a contest, but the punditry chat rages on. "I agree with you on Stan 'the man' Collymore - generally good value," writes John "Jesse" James. "A lot of them are a waste of space, but on Five Live I genuinely rate Waddle, and - heaven forbid - Graham Taylor! Of course, there's only one Jimmy Armfield." I couldn't argue with any of that. In fact I'll see your Taylor, Waddle and Armfield and tentatively raise you The Guardian's Steve Claridge.
84 min: Ben-Haim tries to prevent the ball going out for a corner and almost breaks his own goalkeeper's arm in the process. The ensuing inswinger is punched clear by Martin Fulop.
88 min: Neil Mackie is back and he's got news for Greg Cugnini (68 min). "To be called a fool is something to cherish, but I get my information about Stephen Darby from his uncle," he says. "Silly me for trusting him and not newspapers and the official site (buy your merchandise now, Cugnini, to go nicely in your southern home)." In your face Cugnini - consider yourself served.
89 min: Liverpool substitution: somebody on, somebody off. My attention was elsewhere - apologies. I've given up smoking for Lent and I'm very easily distracted at the moment. No matter where I look, all I can see is this.
90 min: Liveprool free-kick, 35 yards out, well right of centre. Alberto Riera curls the ball around the wall and Martin Fulop prevents it from sneaking in at the far post by punching the ball straight to the edge of the six-yard box. Dirk Kuyt fires over the bar. That was poor goalkeeping by Fulop, who had an excellent first half, but a very shaky second 45.
90+2 min: Peep! Peep! Peep! Mark Halsey brings the curtain down on the evening. Liveprool win comfrotably and join Chelsea on 58 points, four behind Manchester United, who have two games in hand. Sunderland stay in 12th place, sandwiched between Manchester City and Hull and still - sarcasm ahoy! - challenging for a Champions League place.
Tying up loose ends: "I was gonna say that Stan Collymore and Steve Claridge are both former Leicester City players, proving that Foxes make the best pundits," writes Pranjal Tiwari. "This theory is unfortunately negated by Gary Lineker, who makes a worse pundit than any Fox (or indeed, fox)." Well, it's not particularly true, as Lineker is a bad presenter, not a bad pundit. I suppose the argument about Leicester folk making the best pundits hinges on your opinion on Alan Smith (no, the other one) and snooker's Willie Thorne.
"The best thing about Claridge is watching him on BBC1's Final Score. His hulkish rage is barely contained when fending off Garth Crook's rampant idiocy," writes James Francis, who has no idea what constitutes real rage until he's gratuitously tampered with a Steve Claridge Scouting Report.
