What a surprise this was. Not that Alan Shearer failed to have an instant galvanising effect on the Newcastle players – no one actually believes he is capable of miracles – but that the famous Geordie crowd did not manage much of a response to the return of a favourite son.
There were no party hats à la King Kev, there was no great fanfare from a stadium announcer who announced Shearer as "the" new manager rather than "our" new manager, and most surprising of all there was not so much as a hint of Walking in a Shearer Wonderland from the crowd.
In point of fact there was nothing from the crowd. No bounce, no noise, no emotional welcome. The occasion was flat. Perhaps Newcastle are all messiahed out, and who could blame them?
Taking their lead from the terraces the teams duly served up a tepid, forgettable first half. You would never have guessed Chelsea were supposed to be challenging for the title, it looked a lot more like they were keeping their powder dry for Wednesday night at Anfield, when they will find a crowd capable of creating an atmosphere. In an almost featureless 45 minutes before the interval, only Salomon Kalou bringing a save from Steve Harper and Nicolas Anelka seeing a shot blocked by Habib Beye's cover tackle were worthy of note. Newcastle produced even less, just a half chance for Obafemi Martins from a José Enrique cross that the striker was not quite sharp enough to accept.
Martins also shot high and wide early in the second half when a misjudgment by John Terry allowed him a run at goal. It was already beginning to look as though a scrappy game would only produce a goal through a defensive mistake and that is how it proved, though the error was Newcastle's and the beneficiaries Chelsea. Fabricio Coloccini was too ponderous on the edge of his own area, allowing Anelka first to block his clearance then beat him to the loose ball, Anelka's shot over the advancing Harper bounced up off the crossbar and Frank Lampard followed up for an easy header into an unguarded net.
That might have been enough to see off Newcastle, who had never looked much like scoring, though just to make sure Chelsea scored a second nine minutes later. Anelka was involved again, heading on an upfield clearance that came all the way from Petr Cech for Florent Malouda to easily turn Ryan Taylor and shoot past an exposed Harper.
Newcastle were possibly unlucky when Ashley Cole cleared Michael Owen's shot from a position the striker spent some time insisting was at least a foot behind the line. Replays suggested Owen might have had a point, though it would have been a difficult decision for the assistant to award, and Rob Styles did check before waving play on. Shearer had a moan about it too when he checked his monitor but, being powerless to do anything about it, had to revert to striking a succession of macho poses in the technical area and occasionally appealing for free kicks. A bit like his final days as a player, in fact. Losing to Chelsea is no disgrace, though it is the powerless feeling Shearer is going to have to come to terms with, and quickly.
