Hello Paul. Hey Small Talk, you alright?

Just relieved you're not in your birthday suit for this Powerade promotion. [Laughs] It was a good campaign though, wasn't it? It got a lot of people talking. You should see how many phone calls I got about it. My Mum hates it though. She's the only person in the world who didn't like it.

Did you take much convincing, or are you a natural at going au natural? I was up for it straight away, I saw the Olympics campaign. It didn't take me that much convincing. I had a think about it, 'Shall I? Shan't I?' But it was a really good campaign and I was happy to be part of it.

[Enter stage left England captain Steve Borthwick, pointing at the moon boot on Sackey's left foot] Broken mate, broken.

You didn't think it was broken at first though, did you? But rather severely bruised. You see, what happened was, I had a massive knock on it in the Ireland game and it got diagnosed as a calf strain at first. But it had bad bleeding on it and then they thought was a slight fracture. Then I was told if I played it against Bristol last weekend I was in consideration for the Lions. I knew I wasn't 100% but you take a gamble – I took the gamble and I lasted literally two minutes, I got one tackle and that was it. I've come straight here from the x-ray and I've cleanly broken it now. I've done a proper job on it and I'm going to have to have plates put into it. [One Small Talk exclusive, count it]

You've pretty much summed up the significance of the Lions there, albeit in a painful manner. Exactly. It was a gamble I took and if I hadn't done I would have been kicking myself and now I have done and I'm still kicking myself.

Which is worse – the physical pain or the mental anguish of missing out on South Africa? [Long, gum-chewing pause] Arrggh. Mental, yeah mental. I could probably have been on that tour, so here we go, it's one of those. Everything happens for a reason, so I'm going to take a positive out of it – the only positive I can see out of it – which is that I need a rest. I haven't had a rest for a while and I'm going to take this time out and recuperate and get myself back fit and playing rugby. I'm going to do all I can to get back fitter, stronger and faster than I have been, because in the last couple of years I've been carrying little niggles, which it is probably best to get all right now, going into the new season.

It's unusual for a Wasp like yourself to have a bit of time off in May anyway, isn't it? It is unusual, yeah. The boys don't know what [to do], we're all over the place. Everyone's booking holidays and it's mad. It's been an up and down season between injuries, England, Wasps – a weird, weird season. In a way, with it over, there is a little weight off me. At the beginning there was pressure to be in the England team, to make the Lions. As much as people don't see it, there is a lot of pressure that surrounds playing for England. I feel relaxed and ready to get back and start enjoying it again.

Does being so successful take away the fun of playing? I don't think it takes away the fun of playing, it's just a lot of added pressure that you don't really need in the game. Nah, it's alright [smiles and sips his tea like a man looking forward to his summer holidays].

One day the scurrilous Tabs have you packing your bags to France, the next they quote you saying 'never' ... Sacre bleu! Small Talk is confused, explain it to Small Talk in language Small Talk can understand. Listen, like I said, I love Wasps, but, you never say never, do you? I'm not saying that I want to go, I'm just not ruling it out. I would like to stay at Wasps ... We'll see.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for Kele Okereke, the lead singer of Bloc Party? Yes they have. Loads of people, it annoys me. I've had that a few times, but the majority of people think I'm a footballer anyway.

[Using classic interviewer technique Small Talk plays dumb, even though it's pretty obvious] Who's that then? Well, the boys at the club call me Adebayor.

Well, now that you say it ... No! You can't see it!

We didn't say see, we said say. Have you ever met either of your doppelgangers? No. I'd like to meet [Okereke] though.

So what you're telling Small Talk is the three of you have never been in the same room at the same time – you're the same person aren't you? I wouldn't mind being the lead singer of Bloc Party, I probably wouldn't have a broken leg right now.

You've got a car-sourcing business, is that just for the petrol-soaked cash or do motors rev your engine? I love cars, it's one of my passions. I've got a Ferrari and a Range Rover. I don't drive my Ferrari that much though, it's an old 355 Spider, it's only got 10,000 miles on the clock. I just look at it, wipe it and take pictures.

Small Talk is developing a clear picture of your home life and how your kids will turn out. Have you been to Ghana recently? I went in August, I probably will go over again now that I have a lot of time. I am hopefully doing something for Sport Relief and I've got an urban rugby academy coming up, which is hot off the press, you're the only one that knows [exclusive number two: Small Talk's on a roll]. I've got the RFU backing it and Croydon Council backing it, so hopefully in the summer it'll take off. By July it should be up and running in Croydon. I had the idea because I've been quite lucky in that I was brought up quite well and went to a good school and now there are a lot of young black guys coming through in rugby and I'd like to get it out there and bring it into the minority community. Let everyone enjoy what I've enjoyed in rugby instead of messing around, stabbing each other and shooting people.

Small Talk's mind has gone blank – we had something important to ask. [Reading interview notes, impressive considering Small Talk's illiterate scrawl] Margot Wells?

Alright then, how does this middle-aged woman make everyone run quicker? You'd have to come down to a session.

She would have her work cut out. I reckon you would have your work cut out. She's a tough task master, she gets the best out of everyone she works with. People forget she worked with people like Lawrence Dallaglio and all these guys. She's just really good at what she does. She doesn't change your running style, she just enhances it, tries to make it better and tweaks it here and there.

Is it not weird to think about how you run, rather than just run? I don't think about it, that is why she's there. She knows how to get the best power out of your running style. She is amazing, she'll help with my rehab now and get me back into the swing of things.

Was speed your asset when you trialed at Crystal Palace as a teenager? My speed wasn't my biggest thing, I was a central midfield play-maker, I was a Stevie Gerrard. I love Gerrard, I'm a massive Liverpool fan. I was at the Chelsea game at Anfield.

Bad result that one? Yeah, I got angry. Every time I've gone to see Liverpool play this year we've lost, so I said I'm not going to Stamford Bridge. I stayed at home and we went 2-0 up and I said, "I'm staying in every single time now". Then we drew 4-4. Still.

To happier thoughts. Who would win in a fight between a lion and a tiger? The lion every time. He's king of the jungle.

Plus they've similar hair to you, Adebayor and Okereke. What's the last film you saw? The Fast and the Furious, the new one.

You do like cars, that's the only reason to go see that. Exactly. They've all been quite poor, but it was actually okay.

Was Bloc Party the last piece of music you bought or sucked from a computer box? It wasn't, but I'm going to now. The last song I downloaded on iTunes would probably be my mate's brother's band and I've forgotten what they're called, which is bad! He's going to kill me now. I know the tune is called "Make it funky for me". Ah, what's their name? He's going to kill me, he's one of my good friends as well. I was meant to go to the video shoot up in Watford too, but because I broke my leg I couldn't go. I'm gutted. He's going to be doubly angry with me, cause I've missed the video shoot and now I can't remember their name [laughs].

What was the last book you read? It was probably a boxing book, I love boxing. A Mike Tyson biography, I think. I'm going to read Josh Lewsey's book next.

You just want to read what he has said about you, don't you? Yeah, I want to see how bad he's bad-mouthed me.

Tell us a joke. I haven't got any jokes.

Yes, clearly you are a very serious indvidual. I'm not serious at all, I'm the biggest joker on the team, man. Me and Lawrence, when he was still in the team, used to constantly be playing practical jokes on each other. He used to always put foam in my shoes, so I used to cut the toes off his socks. There was one time where he took my car keys, so what we did was we got fox's poo and put it in a bag, put it underneath the seat in his car. For a week he didn't know it was there and his car stunk and he took it to get cleaned and it was still there.

Where, pray tell, does one get fox's poo? We found it, we were going to use dog poo. We put it on his engine as well, we sprinkled bits all over his engine so it was coming at him from everywhere and he hated that. It was just bad, it went on for about a month without him saying anything. Then he found the bag of fox's poo and he went mental.

What if he had returned the compliment with your Ferrari? Well, my Ferrari is never in the club. I think he's seen my Ferrari once. That is just for taking down the King's Road [emits one last filthy laugh].

Nice one Paul. No problem Small Talk, good speaking with you.

Paul Sackey was fully clothed when speaking at a Powerade training day at Twickenham, where a Bristol University team were given a once in a lifetime training session from England head coach Martin Johnson and coaches Jon Callard and Graham Rowntree.