Preamble: Welcome to this bumper , super , heroic afternoon of sport. Of course, there are many other things you could be spending your Saturday afternoon doing - staring blankly at the wall, drinking yourself into a coma the likes of which will obliterate the working week before, crying in the corner - or you could be limply hitting refresh as, like a Poundland Jeff Stelling, Clockwatch guides you through an afternoon in which England are going to get hammered and the Premier League throws up a crop of games best described as listless. It doesn't get any better than this:
• Five Premier League games
• England v New Zealand
• Wales v Argentina
• Whatever else crops on the wires as I happen to look at them
Phew.
2.05pm: Here's the England team that's going to be spanked by to face New Zealand and, by a stroke of luck, the New Zealand team to face England.
England: Cueto, Banahan, Hipkiss, Erinle, Monye, Wilkinson, Hodgson, Payne, Hartley, Bell, Shaw, Borthwick, Worsley, Moody, Haskell.
Replacements: Thompson, Wilson, Deacon, Croft, Care, Geraghty, Tait.
New Zealand: Muliaina, Guildford, C. Smith, Nonu, Sivivatu, Carter, Cowan, Woodcock, Hore, Franks, Thorn, Donnelly, Thomson, McCaw, Read.
Replacements: de Malmanche, Afoa, Boric, Kaino, Ellis, Donald, Ellison.
Referee: Jonathan Kaplan (South Africa)
2.08pm: A note to indicate bias. My trip to work today included being squeezed into a small train carriage alongside what felt like 5,000 representatives of middle England, all dressed in rugby shirts, all of whom were busy singing slave songs, chanting Jerusalem and shouting the odds for an hour and a half straight. I would normally be quite patriotic on a day like this - it being the sort of day built for England (underdogs, raining, miserable) - however, today, I'm an honorary All Black.
2.12pm:Martin Johnson is hardly giving off confidence - it'll be really tough to beat these guys, we've had a hard few weeks etc, he says, or words to that effect. Perhaps it's because he knows they don't have much chance of beating the All Blacks, so the pressure's off. Meanwhile, given Dan Carter's love of dressing as a superhero, who do you think the England players should be dressing up as?
2.15pm: Burnley v Aston Villa teams:
Burnley: Jensen, Mears, Carlisle, Caldwell, Jordan, Alexander, Bikey, Eagles, Elliott, Blake, Steven Fletcher.
Subs: Penny, Duff, McDonald, Gudjonsson, Nugent, Thompson, Guerrero.
Aston Villa: Friedel, Luke Young, Cuellar, Dunne, Warnock, Milner, Petrov, Sidwell, Ashley Young, Carew, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Downing, Delph, Heskey, Reo-Coker, Shorey, Beye.
Referee: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire)
2.17pm: Wales v Argentina teams:
Wales: Hook, Halfpenny, J. Roberts, Davies, S. Williams, S. Jones, Cooper, Jenkins, Rees, P. James, A. Jones, Charteris, Powell, M. Williams, R. Jones.
Replacements: Bennett, D. Jones, Thomas, Lydiate, Peel, Bishop, T. James.
Argentina: Agulla, Borges, Tiesi, Rodriguez, Comuzzi, Fernandez, Figuerola, Roncero, Ledesma, Scelzo, Sambucetti, Albacete, Leonardi, Abadie, Fernandez Lobbe.
Replacements: Basualdo, Ayerza, Carizza, Campos, Lalanne, Urdapilleta, San Martin.
Referee: George Clancy (RU)
2.18pm: Paul Merson has grown an amazing 'tache, by the way. Presumably for Movember. Still, it's well worth a look.
2.19pm: Hull v West Ham team news
Hull: Duke, Mendy, Gardner, Zayatte, Dawson, Garcia, Marney, Bullard, Hunt, Fagan, Altidore.
Subs: Myhill, McShane, Barmby, Geovanni, Kilbane, Boateng, Vennegoor of Hesselink.
West Ham: Green, Faubert, Da Costa, Upson, Gabbidon, Collison, Parker, Behrami, Stanislas, Franco, Cole.
Subs: Kurucz, Kovac, Jimenez, Spector, Ilunga, Nouble, Hines.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear)
2.19pm: A goal at Anfield - Adebayor completely unmarked in the penalty area nods it down into the ground and under the keeper - making it 1-1. Follow it here.
Elsewhere: Birmingham v Fulham team news
Birmingham: Hart, Carr, Roger Johnson, Dann, Ridgewell, Larsson, Ferguson, Bowyer, McFadden, Jerome, Benitez.
Subs: Maik Taylor, Phillips, Fahey, McSheffrey, Carsley, Vignal, Mutch.
Fulham: Schwarzer, Kelly, Hughes, Hangeland, Konchesky, Davies, Baird, Greening, Gera, Dempsey, Zamora.
Subs: Zuberbuhler, Pantsil, Duff, Riise, Etuhu, Eddie Johnson, Smalling.
Referee: Chris Foy (Merseyside)
2.22pm: In Russian football news - oh yes, you get it all here - the slayers of Barcelona, Rubin Kazan, have held Zenit St Petersburg to a 0-0 draw to seal their second consecutive Russian Premier League title.
2.25pm: Sunderland v Arsenal team news
Sunderland: Fulop, Bardsley, Da Silva, Mensah, McCartney, Malbranque, Cana, Richardson, Henderson, Reid, Bent.
Subs: Carson, Ferdinand, Nosworthy, Zenden, Campbell, Murphy, Healy.
Arsenal: Almunia, Sagna, Vermaelen, Gallas, Traore, Song Billong, Ramsey, Fabregas, Rosicky, Eduardo, Nasri.
Subs: Mannone, Vela, Walcott, Denilson, Silvestre, Arshavin, Eboue.
Referee: Alan Wiley (Staffordshire)
Chelsea v Wolverhampton team news
Chelsea: Cech, Belletti, Alex, Terry, Ashley Cole, Essien, Mikel, Joe Cole, Malouda, Anelka, Kalou.
Subs: Hilario, Ivanovic, Zhirkov, Paulo Ferreira, Matic, Kakuta, Borini.
Wolverhampton: Hennessey, Berra, Craddock, Stearman, Halford, Edwards, Henry, Castillo, Surman, Ebanks-Blake, Jarvis.
Subs: Hahnemann, Elokobi, Kightly, Keogh, Milijas, Foley, Maierhofer.
Referee: Lee Mason (England)
2.26pm: The All Blacks are out on the pich at Twickenham, meanwhile the Welsh are running down the tunnel in Cardiff. Good thing they're not playing each other, given how far away from each other they are. No sign of the English or Argentinians yet.
2.28pm: There have been another two goals at Anfield. Manchester City scored first - Stephen Ireland side-footed home - before Benayoun made use of some sloppy defending to slam home from close range. It's all square at 2-2.
2.30pm: It's anthem time in the rugby. The Welsh are going for it, as is their wont, the All Blacks less so. There's a considerable part of me hoping that all the buffoons on my train will have already shouted themselves hoarse by the time the English anthem comes up. Nothing against the English anthem; everything against boarish rugby buffoons on my train.
2.31pm: No luck.
2.32pm: Wales and Argentina has kicked off but, at Twickenham, it's the Haka. You've got to love the Haka.
2.34pm: The England team do that thing of looking slightly embarrassed by the New Zealanders' battle cry while facing them down nonetheless. Not really anything else you can do, to be honest. Wilkinson lines up the kick-off and hoofs it high and over his forwards. From the ruck, Moody nearly charges down Carter's clearance kick behind the All Blacks try line. Good stuff.
2.35pm: A Guinness Premiership update: it's Northampton 19-10 Harlequins after a Josh Drauniniu try in the 69th minute and a conversion.
2.36pm: Joe Worsley has already limped off with an injury for England. That's not very good.
2.38pm: Nice chip into the corner by Dan Carter which Cueto neatly whomps back over his head and into touch from a tight angle. A few seconds later, England win a penalty back in their own half. Reckon they'll run it? Of course not, Wilkinson bundles it into touch, courtesy of his boot.
2.41pm: New Zealand are running a series of crash balls at the England backs, allowing Moody (I think) to give away a penalty after coming into the ruck at the side. Dan Carter lines up the penalty from a very kickable distance. Oh dear.
2.43pm: Carter's missed! For the first time in 10,000 years. Actually, that is unbelievable. In Cardiff, though, it's Wales 3-0 Argentina after a penalty was slotted over.
2.44pm: Here's how it looks at Burnley v Aston Villa, according to Mikey Stafford. "Villa make just one change from the side that stuffed Bolton 5-1 a fortnight ago, Stiliyan Petrov replacing Nigel Reo-Coker in the centre of the park to captain the team. Therefore, short on earth-shaking news we will have to lead with Stewart Downing's return top bench-warming. The midfielder has yet to appear for Villa since making his £12m move to Villa from the Riverside, having broken his foot against his new employers back in May. Days spent sitting on the bench like this will be vital if the 25-year-old wants to be an unused squad player in South Africa next summer.
"It is 82 years since Villa have won here at Turf Moor in the league and Owen Coyle's men have recorded five league wins out of six this season, only losing to Wigan thus far, so Martin O'Neill and co. have their work cut out if they are to put an end to this run that consists of 22 matches in the league."
2.45pm: Swing Low Sweet Chariot rings out for the first time at Twickenham and the 25th time in my day, thanks to the train buffoons.
2.47pm: England are nearly in for a try. New Zealand are under pressure in their own 22 and, rather than kick, they decide to run. However Monye was on to them more quickly than they thought and he intercepts the ball, sloppily, and goes over for a try. The only problem was that he knocked the ball on during the interception. Still, it's been a dodgy start by New Zealand so England still have no chance have a glimmer of a chance.
2.49pm: At half time in Italy, incidentally, it's Italy 7-12 South Africa.
2.50pm: The English forwards are simply running at the New Zealand pack and their battery forces McCaw to give away a penalty right in front of the posts. Wilkinson is licking his lips.
2.51pm: Try for Wales, their fly-half runs a cheeky tap and go free-kick into the corner. Wales 8-0 Argentina. Wilkinson slots over the penalty at Twickenham, too, England 3-0 New Zealand.
2.52pm: After scoring, Stephen Jones converts in Cardiff too, making it Wales 10-0 Argentina.
2.54pm: Muliaina thinks he's scored at Twickenham. He drives for the corner but meets Monye, diving across him to make a fantastic, last-ditch, covering tackle. Muliaini's foot is just in touch though, so the try is not awarded. It finished 2-2 at Anfield, by the way.
2.56pm: Anyone out there?
2.58pm: Wilkinson clears long into the All Blacks 22 and, by way of courtesy, New Zealand hoof it straight back. There's a bit of argy bargy in the forwards causing Tim Payne, who was punching, to get a telling off. The huge prop apologises like a schoolboy, but it does give Carter another penalty chance - admittedly from the halfway line, virtually on the touchline.
2.59pm: And he's nailed it! He just missed a sitter and then hoofed one over from virtually the car park. That makes him New Zealand's leading-ever scorer and the score is 3-3.
3pm: New Zealand give away a soft penalty and Wilkinson converts another easy kick from in front of the posts. England 6-3 New Zealand. You can follow all the football scores (should you not want me to do it for you) here, incidentally.
3.02pm: Barney Ronay is getting wet at St Andrews. Here's the lowdown there:
"It's not so much raining at St Andrews for Birmingham v Fulham: more like the ground has been relocated overnight to the sea bed. Fulham have Simon Davies back. Birmingham have Barry Ferguson in after suspension. And I've just eaten the Blue Quedreue curry, devised by Frank himself. It was quite nice. Chicken with sauce with bits in it."
3.03pm: The Hull v West Ham game is "very good" says Paul Merson. After 2 minutes of play.
3.04pm: "I'm in Oz at the moment and can't catch the game as it's only Setanta here and nowhere seems to have it.," writes Alex Roberts. "How are England going? Sounds like it's going OK but can we sustain it for 80 mins?" Yeah, it's going OK but no better. England have just given away a penalty in front of the posts which Carter slots over to make it 6-6.
3.06pm: A goal at the KC Stadium. Hull 0-1 West Ham. Guillermo Franco nods in a simple header. Meanwhile it's 1-0 at Stamford Bridge, courtesy of Malouda. The Frenchman runs and runs and runs, they've said on the telly, and blasted into the top corner. Chelsea 1-0 Wolves.
3.08pm: In the Guinness Premiership Northampton have beaten Harlequins 26-17. Here's a part of a report ripped mercilessly from the wires:
"Northampton maintained their unbeaten home record with a win over Harlequins in an enterprising game which saw the return of Tom Williams for the first time since his 'Bloodgate' ban.
"The Saints just about deserved the win as they were the more penetrative side but the Quins could certainly have made it a whole lot more difficult but for crucial errors and a couple of key refereeing decisions which went against them."
3.10pm: "The missus has pissed off and left me holding the baby so I can't get down the pub and I've tried every dubious 'free' online channel for watching the England game but to no avail," writes Sean McCudden. "I can't even get the audio commentary as the BBC only have the Wales game on, so you're the only thing I have! Hope that makes you feel good. If that isn't bad enough, I've taken England to win by 1-12 points." I'd feel sorry for you Sean - and who wouldn't if you've just got my commentary to go on - but it's wet and miserable here and probably hot and sunny there.
3.13pm: Another goal at the KC Stadium: Hull 0-2 West Ham. A header from Collison from around the penalty spot. Meanwhile, it's Burnley 1-0 Aston Villa thanks to Caldwell, though it may have come off Dunne. In the rugby, Argentina have converted a penalty to make it 10-3 in Cardiff.
3.14pm: It's now Chelsea 2-0 Wolves, a goal from Essien. Here's David Hytner at Stamford Bridge, by the way: "The biggest pre-match cheer from the Stamford Bridge crowd when the teams are announced is not for Cech, Terry, Anelka or the Coles but for 'the unsuspended' Gael Kakuta. Will we get a glimpse of the wonderkid off the substitutes bench today?"
3.15pm: "Nice to see Hull playing a good game," emails Dave from Perth, apparently oblivious to the 0-2 score at the KC. Still what does he care? " Just had the best West Australian oysters, rock lobster with damn good West Aussie wine." I've just had a cheap BLT and a bag of cheese and onion crisps. Ho hum. It's it now Wales 13-3 Argentina and the teams are trotting off for halftime.
3.17pm: It's half time at Twickenham too, with the scores tied at 6-6. England can be pleased with that. While the All Blacks haven't been at their best, England have been resilient and have, at times, threatened as well.
3.18pm: Birmingham 1-0 Fulham. Lee Bowyer loops the ball over the Fulham keeper to allow the home side to go ahead in the rain.
3.19pm: Confirmation of Dan Carter's New Zealand record: "Dan Carter has become New Zealand rugby union's all-time leading international scorer," so reads the AP newswire. "The All Blacks fly half overtook Andrew Mehrtens' five-year-old record of 966 points with a 25th-minute penalty against England at Twickenham on Saturday."
3.22pm: Our man at Stamford Bridge, David Hytner, reckons Chelsea can more or less go home now:
"It's all over here. More shoddy Wolves defending allows Michael Essien to rise unchallenged to meet Florent Malouda's corner. Earlier, there had been no-one within ten yards of the advancing Malouda, whose finish was a beauty. Mick McCarthy, on the touchline, wears the look of an unamused ex-defender. "
3.23pm: Another goal at Stamford Bridge! Chelsea 3-0 Wolves. Michael Essien has scored his second, thanks to bad defending and goalkeeping howler. Not looking good for the men from Wolverhampton.
3.25pm: Watford 2-0 Scunthorpe, just to keep you abreast of news lower down the leagues. Meanwhile Evan Maloney has this to say of the email address I thought was cool when I was 18 but am now lumbered with: "I am wondering if tommyturbo shouldn't have 1000 at the end. 100 is a little short for a turbo doesn't it?"
3.27pm: Malbranque has missed a decent chance for Sunderland against Arsenal, ballooning a shot over the bar when he should have done better. Meanwhile it's Hull 1-2 West Ham thanks to Jimmy Bullard and a fluke goal.
3.28pm: The Wales and Argentina teams are back out in Cardiff and Jones is just about to kick off. Looks like Wales have that one sown up already at 13-3 ... oh, hang on, Wales have scored. An Argentinian kick from the base of the scrum was charged down by the wing Williams almost straight from the restart. It's converted too, so it's now Wales 20-3 Argentina.
3.29pm: New Zealand have restarted against England too. There's been a lot of kicking so far, which comes to an end when scrum-half Hodgson finds a good touch in the All Blacks 22.
3.30pm: "Afternoon from the Stadium of Light," writes our reporter Louise Taylor, "where the atmosphere is fab and Sunderland are giving Arsenal a proper game. The home side's best four passes/crosses have come from Andy Reid - three could easily have created goals. Even so I believe Reid is a bit wasted wide on the left and would like to see Steve Bruce deploying him more centrally where his passing could really hurt teams."
3.31pm: Argentina have replied against Wales, putting over a penalty to bring the scores to Wales 20-6 Argentina. Meanwhile, against the club at which he used to work, Gus Poyet's Brighton are 0-1 down at home to Leeds.
3.33pm: The Argentina prop Scelzo* has conceded another penalty which, you'd have thought, would be easily kickable for Jones. However he slides it to the left of the uprights to give the visitors a let off.
* May not have been Scelzo, only caught it out of the corner of my eye, and he looked the most guilty. I'm putting this disclaimer in because he looks like a man mountain/maniac and, no matter how unlikely it is he'll track me down, I'm not taking any chances.
3.35pm: While I was busy being scared of Argentina's props, New Zealand have slotted over a penalty. I have no idea what happened there. Apologies. I'll get my colleague Tom Lutz, sitting next to me, to flog me. England 6-9 New Zealand and another battle of the kickers looms.
3.39pm: North of the border, it's Rangers 3-0 Kilmarnock (Steven Whittaker 35). That Hull goal, first credited to Bullard, has now been chalked up as a Carlton Cole own goal. Argentina have put over another penalty to make the score Wales 20-9 Argentina, while the All Blacks are increasingly playing a more running game at Twickenham and they're forcing some big tackles from the English backs.
3.40pm: Chelsea have started cruising against Wolves but they've just had a wake-up call. Petr Cech has just been forced to pull off a fantastic save to deny the visitors as he tips the ball behind for a corner.
3.40pm: Here's Louise Taylor at Sunderland-Arsenal, which is still goalless. "Alex Song just missed a sitter for Arsenal. John Mensah and Paulo Da Silva generally solid at centre half for Sunderland but was Steve Bruce right to leave Anton Ferdinand on the bench again?"
3.42pm: Kalou and Malouda combine again for Chelsea but a good save prevents them from adding to their score. Here's David Hytner at the game: "John-Obi Mikel, John-Mikel Obi, Obi-Wan Mikel or whatever his name is, has not scored for Chelsea in 101 previous Premier League appearances. With the way things are going here, just thought I'd mention it ..."
3.43pm: It's now Wales 23-9 Argentina. Yep, missed that one too.
3.44pm: An equaliser at the KC Stadium. It's now Hull 2-2 West Ham after a precision volley from Kamil Zayatte. Good news for Hull, who are beginning to show some spirit, but West Ham really shouldn't be giving away two-goal leads.
3.46pm A soft penalty at the KC Stadium. Fagan was gently tugged over but, according to the moustachioed Paul Merson, it should never have been given. Bullard lines it up ... and scores! Hull 3-2 West Ham. An amazing comeback.
3.47pm: New Zealand have gone over for a try at Twickenham. A really well worked move that allowed Cowan, the scrum-half, to go over in the corner. Carter lines up the conversion from the touchline and puts it calmly between the posts. England 6-16 New Zealand. Is this the start of the rot setting in for England?
3.49pm: Argentina have gone over for a try, too. It was that man Rodriguez, who also converted his own score. Wales 23-16 Argentina. That game's beginning to come alive - perhaps Wales were taking their foot off the gas? It's Brighton 0-2 Leeds, by the way. Poor Gus Poyet.
3.52pm: Here are the half time scores in the Premier League and, frankly, it's been a goalfest ... well, in two games.
Birmingham City 1-0 Fulham
Burnley 1–0 Aston Villa
Chelsea 3–0 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Hull City 3–2 West Ham United
Sunderland 0-0 Arsenal
Find out all the scores across the country on our live scores page here.
3.55pm: Shane Williams, who only this morning was complaining about not being allowed to run, has just gone over for another try for Wales. He reacted first when Argentina tried to play the ball through on the ground, grabbed it for himself, and ran over the line. The conversion went over too. Wales 30-16 Argentina. At Twickenham, some madness across the English backs was nearly rescued by one of those sexy-looking, Sevens-style cross field kick-cum-passes. However, perhaps typically, England knocked the ball on and made zero use of the chance. Deacon is on for Payne, by the way. Still England 6-16 New Zealand but, the way the All Blacks are playing, it won't be for long.
3.57pm: Here's Barney Ronay at Birmingham v Fulham:
"It's still chucking it down at St Andrews but Alex McLeish is out on his touchline and absolutely sodden, pointing wildly like a ginger, black-overcoated King Lear. Lovely pass by James McFadden to create the goal here by the way, pretty much entirely out of kilter with everything else around it in the first half."
4pm: Told you it wouldn't stay England 6-16 New Zealand for long. It's now England 6-19 New Zealand thanks to the brilliant boot of Dan Carter.
4.02pm: "Brian Moore commentating on the BBC?" emails an exasperated Pete Bancroft. "Last week on Radio 5 he made a comment about England players resembling Thalidomide sufferers and hasn't even apologised. Why would the beeb miss such a golden opportunity to get rid of the obnoxious moron?" You're right. He was talking about French rugby and the Heineken Cup a few weeks ago, too. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was along the lines of not knowing what the French would do because, "Well, they're French". Wasn't exactly enlightened commentary.
4.03pm: It's now Wales 33-16 Argentina, while England are facing what looks like quite heavy pressure at Twickenham. Banahan is off, replaced by Tait.
4.06pm: South Africa have beaten Italy 32-10. I haven't seen any of it, so here are the bare facts:
Italy: Try - Gonzalo Garcia ; Conversion: Craig Gower; Penalties: Craig Gower; Yellow card: Simone Favaro.
South Africa: Tries - Bryan Habana, Jaque Fourie, Fourie du Preez, Wynand Olivier; Conversion: Morne Steyn (2), Ruan Pienaar; Penalties: Morne Steyn (2).
4.07pm: Chelsea nearly scored almost immediately from the restart. I think John Terry had something to do with it though this dodgy internet feed my source was a bit fuzzy.
4.08pm: Aston Villa are sinking against Burnley. The weather is not pleasant and, according to reports, they don't look like they much fancy it. No changes at half-time - a surprise, given how the first half went for them. William Gallas, meanwhile, has picked up a knock for Arsenal against Sunderland. They could do without him having to limp off.
4.10pm: It's finished in Cardiff. A comfortable win for Wales in which they coped well with the physical threat of Argentina. They did seem to lose concentration briefly, allowing Argentina more points than they needed to, but Wales 33-16 Argentina is a strong scoreline. England have three minutes to score 13 points. Hmm.
4.13pm: England win a scrappy line-out which they drive straight into touch. The All Blacks try a quick three-man lineout but are forced to retake. From it, they swing the ball across the backs before they hoof it into the corner to chase. Fortunately Cueto is there to clean up and touch down, over the try line, for a 22. We're into extra time ... and now it's over. England 6-19 New Zealand.
4.15pm: England were better today, showing a lot of grit, however there was still very little creativity in the side. Though, physically, they were up to it, there was no-one to make use of the ball when they won it. England's Autumn Internationals rumble on, disappointingly. With the Six Nations approaching, England need to do something about their backs. Meanwhile New Zealand were not at their best but, once again, have prevailed at Twickenham.
4.17 pm: "While I liked Barney Ronay's description of Alex McLeish as a ginger King Lear you can see why the bard decided on white hair for his lead," reckons Ian Copestake. Meanwhile, here comes Kakuta for Chelsea - he's on for Anelka - who are now 4-0 up thanks to Joe Cole. Chelsea 4-0 Wolves.
4.19pm: Patrice Evra has ridiculed the idea of replaying the France v Ireland game but has said he'll give the Irish a game on his ... Playstation. "In football there are injustices all the time. Titi (Henry) doesn't deserve this. Leave him be," he said. "Who made the mistake? The referee. When I think that certain politicians want to replay the match ... They don't even know if the ball is round or oval and they would be the first to come and drink champagne in South Africa.
"The replay, I'll do it when you want on a Playstation."
4.21pm: Chelsea's controversial signing Kakuta has had two half-chances already against Wolves, while Essien has just had a dipping, rifled shot saved. It could be about 20-0 there.
4.24pm: Here's Louise Taylor at the Stadium Of Light:
"Jordan Henderson just dispossesed Cesc Fabregas with ease - the boy can play a bit. So can Bruce's Sunderland, this game could easily end up going Arsenal's way but right now it reamins in the balance and, creditably, Sunderland are trying to win. Arsenal fans are starting to call for Arshavin to come off the bench."
4.25pm: Chelsea are pressed up into the Wolves half - the centrebacks are standing on the halfway line - and are just heaping the pressure on the Wolves box. There are very few Chelsea players even running, so easy does this look. As if to confirm, Ashley Cole has just put an excellent ball right across the goal-line that was crying out for someone to tap it in.
4.29pm: Malouda is off for Chelsea, allowing the tall Serb Nemanja Matic to come onto the pitch. Is this his debut too? Not sure. Think so, though. Meanwhile Mick McCarthy just has his head in his hands in the dugout.
4.30pm: Another goal at the KC Stadium. Da Costa has equalised to make the score 3-3 there. Meanwhile, a Hull player has been sent off. I don't know who or why. But then that's why you come here, isn't it? You can't get better than this sort of insightful analysis.
4.31pm: Arsenal are in trouble. Darren Bent has scored for Sunderland, making the scores at the Stadium Of Light Sunderland 1-0 Arsenal with 18 minutes or so on the clock.
4.34pm: Chelsea have just gone close again, as either John Obi Mikel or Michael Essien (again my dodgy internet feed source was fuzzy) sent a rocket over the bar from a tap-on after an indirect free-kick. At the other end, though, Jarvis broke free and tried to beat Cech but couldn't quite manage it.
4.35pm: Another good chance for Wolves, with John Terry clearing from the line. Meanwhile, Arsenal have brought on Theo Walcott, back from his injury, but Wenger is doing that huffy, arm-flappy thing he does when he knows things aren't going his way.
4.36pm: "Bent for England!" writes Alistair Hattingh. "Brilliant one-two off a teammate's shins for the goal." That's why they pay him the big(ish) bucks Alistair.
4.37pm: More from Sunderland, this time via Louise Taylor: "Darren Bent puts Sunderland ahead on a day when, despite the asborbing nature of game, both keepers have been a bit underemployed. I reckon the stadium announcer was a bit optimistic when he said "Suderland's FIRST goal of the afternoon scored by ..."
4.39pm: Boudewijn Zenden, remember him, is coming on at Sunderland, meanwhile Chelsea are giving another one of their kids a chance. The 18-year-old Fabio Borini, signed from Bologna two years ago, is on for Kalou.
4.40pm: Here's New Zealand's Dan Carter on the All Blacks' victory over England: "It was tough but we are happy to get a win at Twickenham," he said. "It is never easy and there are certainly parts of our game we need to improve on.
"It was greasy today so we have to take that into account, but there are still things that we will have to work on during the week. Defensively we were very sound. We pride ourselves defensively - that's where the attitude of the team comes from. But in terms of our attacking ability we have got to hold onto the ball more and build the phases.
"You take the good with the bad."
4.41pm: Heskey's on for Villa, while Luke Young is off but, the word is, they haven't got a snowball's against Burnley.
4.44pm: Michael Owen will start alongside Wayne Rooney for United - you can follow that when it kicks off at 5.30pm with Tom Lutz here. Meanwhile West Ham have just missed the chance to knock in what would probably have been the winner against Hull.
4.46pm: Re. the entry at 4.41pm: it's now Burnley 1-1 Aston Villa thanks to Emile Heskey. Curse him. Jensen palmed the ball out when he should have caught it and Heskey managed to get his first shot on target all season into the back of the net.
4.48pm: Should have been another goal at the KC. West Ham's Stanislav managed to head the ball into the ground and watched in horror as it bounced over the crossbar rather than into the net. What a game that one is.
4.49pm: "Fourth place seems a bit of a poisoned chalice with no team (Aston Villa this week) seeming as though they can be bothered to grasp it," emails Ian Copestake. "Perhaps it could be retired or given to the winners of the Scottish League."
4.50pm: It's getting scrappy at the Stadium Of Light, both Sunderland and Arsenal have had their chances to score in the last few minutes but neither have managed to get the decisive touch. Wenger will be doing his nut.
Meanwhile, it's all over at Stamford Bridge - Chelsea 4-0 Wolves, the homse side equalling a previous record of 10 consecutive clean sheets in all competitions.
4.51pm: It's Brighton 0-3 Leeds, to round off a miserable afternoon for Gus Poyet but a good one for the Leeds fans who travelled to the South Coast.
4.53pm: It is hammering it down at St Andrews, where Birmingham have beaten Fulham 1-0.
Here's Shane Williams on Wales' victory over Argentina: "The effort was massive by the guys today. We were fortunate really that Argentina switched off and we were able to capitalise."
Argentina's Juan Martin Fernandez Lobbe admitted his side had been made to pay for their mistakes. "We are really disappointed," he said. "Mistakes cost us 21 points. It's not acceptable, it's really not acceptable."
4.57pm: It's all over at the Stadium Of Light and it's finished Sunderland 1-0 Arsenal, while at the KC Stadium the referee has blown the whistle on a humdinger that ended Hull 3-3 West Ham. Given that West Ham were 2-0 up and playing against 10 man for a good long period, they'll be upset not to have won that one.
4.58pm: Here are all the full times on the Premier League:
Chelsea 4-0 Wolves
Burnley 1-1 Aston Villa
Birmingham 1-0 Fulham
Hull 3-3 West Ham
Sunderland 1-0 Arsenal
Get all the results on our live scores service here. Meanwhile, you can see what those results have done for the league tables here.
5.01pm: As things stand, Chelsea are eight points clear at the top of the table. Find out if Manchester United can cut the defecit with Tom Lutz's minute-by-minute report of their match against Everton.
In the rugby, it was a good day for Wales but, despite a promising start against an under-par New Zealand, England still have much thinking to do - particularly in the back division.
Thanks for all your emails today, I'm off.
