All is confusion, except up here in Wigan where life is reassuringly straightforward. I did a bit of coaching at Bradford the other night and, for the first time in ages, I've visited my best pal, Ross, who I've known since school days. I spent Thursday with my mother and father – the first time I've seen them in four months – and on Saturday I'm watching my son play rugby. Being a free agent has some pluses even though I hope not to be one for too long.

The first thing to say is that the break with Wasps was amicable. Just something that happens in sport. In 10 years with the club I've worked with and alongside dozens of good people; players and coaches who were there when I started to those who were part of my entire decade at Wasps. From Nigel Melville, Warren Gatland through to Ian McGeechan and Tony Hanks.

It's part of being a coach, of being in professional sport. You know when you start at a club that you are unlikely to get a gold watch when you leave.

The difficult bit comes when I'm asked what I want to do next because the scope for putting your foot in it is enormous, as Jim Mallinder seems to have found out this week. Jim's a marvellous guy; modest and thoughtful and a really good coach as he's shown with Northampton and before that at Sale and the England Academy.

This week, though, he gave a common sense answer to a reasonable question and the following day, no doubt, wished he'd kept his mouth shut. Asked whether he'd like to coach England, Jim said something like: "As a player you always aspire to play for your country, so as a coach it's only natural to want to do the same."

The "some time" was implied if not said, but cue headlines like "Mallinder wants England job" which are not just unfair to Jim, but to the present England coaches under Martin Johnson. When Jake White offered to take over coaching South Africa from Peter de Villiers in the runup to the World Cup, it demeaned him. White went down in my estimation which is why I'll not be saying anything about the potential comings and goings at Twickenham, other than to suggest the departure of Martyn Thomas as the acting chief executive is unlikely to have too much effect on the fortunes of the England team.

More interesting were the words of Graham Henry, the outgoing New Zealand coach, who offered a few pearls of wisdom on the beneficial effects of continuity when it comes to winning World Cups. Henry would know of course, because after the horrors of 2007 and that defeat by France in Cardiff, he was given a second chance and came up trumps. As was Clive Woodward before his team took the title in 2003.

Henry's point was that only one team can win the World Cup and that if every losing coach were discarded then a considerable amount of invaluable knowhow would go down the drain with them. Clearly I've never won a World Cup, but that seems to make sense to me, especially if I compare what Henry says with my own experiences with Wales.

Over four seasons you build up partnerships with your fellow coaches as well as the players and Wales were a pretty close unit going off to the World Cup and probably a lot better as coaches when we returned. As a club coach you do learn as you go, but the big infusions in my knowledge have come with the Lions in South Africa two years ago and working with Wales in New Zealand during the World Cup.

I'd like to think that given the chance, I'd learn a lot more but that doesn't mean I'm angling for anyone's job or negotiating in public. I just think Henry is correct when he says that too many coaches will be losing their jobs because of the result rather than their ability and that some countries gamble unnecessarily on fresh blood when continued learning might be a better course.

Henry was talking about Martin Johnson, but I'm sure the likes of Declan Kidney, Andy Robinson and Warren Gatland will be better coaches for their southern hemisphere experiences this time around.

Whereas I'm not sure about the likes of Italy, for example, who seem to be throwing away the collected wisdom of Nick Mallett, rather than asking themselves whether their team came up to expectation or whether Italian rugby would continue to improve under the same management.