Team of the year
New Zealand, because the World Cup had to be taken the hard way – without Dan Carter for half of it, with Richie McCaw battling injury for all of it and with the relentlessly cited "stadium of four million" supporters rather on the eager side for a first Webb Ellis Cup win in 24 years. The All Blacks were definitely the best team but they had to hold their nerve as well as their line. Honourable mention: Wales, obviously.
Player of the year
Thierry Dusautoir led a France team who flopped in the Six Nations and mutinied at the World Cup, turning their coach, Marc Lièvremont, into a gibbering wreck. They also lost to Tonga. But the flanker was absolutely superb in the knockouts, holding off the English and the Welsh before scoring a try and outplaying (an admittedly one-legged) McCaw in the final. Honourable mentions: McCaw, Sam Warburton, Will Genia, Imanol Harinordoquy.
Coach of the year
That strange, white shirted, black tied, Reservoir Dogs-ish gestalt entity in the New Zealand team box, Graham-Henry-Wayne-Smith-Steve-Hansen. Henry was nominally top dog but the All Blacks' coaches worked as equals. Honourable mention: Andy Robinson, without whom Scotland would not even compete. If only he had a Test-quality fly-half … and a decent centre or two … and a couple of wingers and a full-back, come to that.
Match of the year
The World Cup final ended 8-7, prompting the usual complaints from ill-informed corners (and rugby league) about a lack of excitement and running rugby. Nonsense – Eden Park staged 80 minutes of excruciatingly tense, brutal theatre, France pushing New Zealand to the brink of an amusing national psychological crisis with a team effort of magnificent resolve. There were two good tries, the defence was a marvel and scrums and lineouts were not neglected. It all began with a fine French march at the haka – for which they were fined, laughably, by the ever-vigilant IRB. Honourable mentions: Italy 22-21 France, Six Nations; Canada 25-20 Tonga, World Cup; Tonga 19-14 France, World Cup.
Try of the year
Shane Williams v Australia in Cardiff. Much as one wishes to avoid further excess sentiment and much as one disapproves of the cartwheel dive, the wing's 58th and last Test try, scored with his last touch, was a joy. He refused to take the conversion – Victor Matfield and Darren Lockyer know why. Honourable mention: Chris Ashton, England v Scotland, World Cup. A clinical try to win a horribly tricky game. Rather lost in the swirl of things at the time and since.
Tackle of the year
Sam Warburton on Vincent Clerc, World Cup semi-final, Auckland. Yes, he let him fall after lifting him and yes, that meant Alain Rolland was right to show him a red card. Yes, the Wales captain has been excellently contrite and fair-minded since. But it's still tackle of the year because: a) Wistful thinking of what might have been is easier for Brits to deal with than success and b) the rulebook be damned … it was a great hit.
Defender of the year
Mike Tindall. The verdict on the centre's successful appeal over a £25,000 fine and exclusion from the England squad contained these words: "Mike did not intentionally mislead the RFU team management when he stated he could not remember where he was on the night of 11 September." That being the night when England players in a state of inebriation went to a Queenstown bar hosting a "Mad Midget Weekender" and Tindall was shown on CCTV with the inevitable "mystery blonde". No further questions, your worships.
Quote of the year
Given that Twitter is now a useable source, Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu wins by a mile. The Gloucester and Samoa centre said a lot in 140 characters or less but the especially Wildean winner, discussing the scheduling of rest periods at the World Cup, was: "OK, it is obvious the IRB is unjust. Wales get seven days, we get three. Unfair treatment, like the holocaust, like apartheid. F*** U."
Survivor of the year
Rob Andrew, along with cockroaches and Jeremy Clarkson's DVD sales, would apparently survive a nuclear explosion. The fly-half formerly known (to Mick Skinner) as "Squeaky-clean" stayed at Twickenham as disastrous political infighting raged before and after the World Cup failure, (almost) impervious to the mushrooming bile of press and public opinion. He emerged as England's professional rugby director. One year, three job titles ... two fingers to the doubters. Remember, though, that on Andrew's watch England won the Six Nations and were second only to the All Blacks in terms of win percentage this year. Not that it did Martin Johnson much good.
Hero of the year
Stephen Donald. The All Blacks' fourth-choice fly-half kicked the penalty that won the World Cup. Called up after injuries to three other No10s, he had been enjoying a fishing holiday on the Waikato River. At Bath in time for the English midwinter, he's about to find out what it's like to play in the Avon.
Villain of the year
Paddy O'Brien, but only because he's the IRB referees manager and the laws are, in the words of Fry and Laurie, a bad joke and not even a particularly good one. Sam Warburton (and a few pundits) found out about the interpretation of the tackle law; everyone who watched a game knew all about the scrum engagement and the breakdown.
