A delayed start due to a giant inflatable rugby ball knocking down the crossbar, a 57-minute second-half and a stubborn Worcester defence added up to a lengthy afternoon of pre-Christmas torture for Gloucester's increasingly disgruntled fans. A win is a win after last week's dismal Edinburgh loss but this game was to festive entertainment what the Shed is to modernist architecture.
It could have been far worse from a Cherry and White perspective had Paul Warwick not been hauled down inches short of the try-line in the closing stages as the visitors scrabbled to secure their first away Premiership win in almost two years. Worcester, however, are enjoying no luck at present and their director of rugby, Dean Ryan, was left to describe as "ludicrous" the decision of the referee JP Doyle not to refer Warwick's effort to the television match official.
Even Ryan did not think his replacement fly-half had scored but argued that the failure to refer the matter upstairs and deny Worcester the put-in at a five-metre scrum had affected the outcome. "It was appalling. That was the pivotal moment of the game and there was a whisker in it. It's important that in close contests people get decisions right." Alas poor Warwick and all that.
The upshot is that Worcester will spend Christmas rooted to the bottom of the table without a league win this season, 14 points behind Gloucester who are ninth. Ryan felt his team "were the better side by a mile" and insists he is looking forward to the New Year. With leaders Saracens due at Sixways this Saturday, relief may not be immediately at hand but there is no question Worcester are performing better than they were two months ago.
This was probably the first time a giant inflatable has delayed a Premiership kick-off, the crossbar being dislodged during the supposed pre-match "entertainment", which gave new meaning to the phrase "balls-up" and put the kick-off back by 30 minutes.
The first half, sadly, contained substantially less by way of unscheduled fun. Tension-filled fingers and fragile confidence competed for attention and the heavy underfoot conditions made life uncomfortable. Add in a squall that swept across the ground from an inky sky and any resemblance to a heartwarming Christmas scene was hard to discern.
Nor was there any sign of the twinkling Freddie Burns, who would normally have been an influential figure. Burns's star has waned at a highly inconvenient moment, with England squad selection pending and Leicester seeking a replacement for the France-bound Toby Flood. At his best Burns is a catalyst for a multitude of good things but his demotion to the bench after last week's home defeat to Edinburgh might have been a blessing.
Gloucester's director of rugby, Nigel Davies, said contractual discussions were continuing but "nothing concrete" had been agreed.
Instead it fell to the stand-in captain, Billy Twelvetrees, to orchestrate matters and kick goals but neither team found a rhythm when the game finally started. Worcester strung together one decent move that ended with Jonathan Thomas knocking on, while Gloucester's best moments came late in the first half when their oft-maligned front five began to squeeze the visitors in the scrums.
A scrum penalty allowed Twelvetrees to kick Gloucester into a 6-3 interval lead – he and Ignacio Mieres having missed one long-range effort apiece – but it was Worcester who emerged the more purposeful side despite losing Thomas at half-time after a bang to the head.
Their league position is no reflection on the excellent Chris Pennell, who would be higher up the English full-back pecking order if he were playing for a more successful side. There is also a collective determination not always found in teams at the bottom of the heap and it felt against the run of play when Twelvetrees edged Gloucester 9-6 in front with his third successful penalty at the start of the final quarter.
Worcester were also unfortunate when Chris Brooker was knocked cold in midfield and they were forced to send on their replacement hooker, Nick Seymour. His first throw sailed over its intended target close to the Worcester line and, after the ensuing scramble, Richard de Carpentier was sent to the sin-bin for a high tackle on Gloucester's Dan Robson. Twelvetrees added three more points and, despite Warwick's late surge, that was the game.
Gloucester's lock, Elliot Stooke, incidentally, deserves credit for rushing to the prone Brooker's aid and placing him in the recovery position. Sadly, as an enriching Christmas spectacle for all the family, the game itself was beyond saving.
Gloucester Cook; Sharples, Trinder, Tindall, May; Twelvetrees (capt), Cowan (Robson, 61); Wood (Thomas, 71), Dawiduik, Puafisi (Knight, 61), Stooke, Hudson, Cox, Kvesic (Qera, 54), Morgan.
Pens Twelvetrees 4.
Sin-bin: May 77.
Worcester Pennell; Stephenson, Grove, Fatiaki (Symons, 57), Drauninui; Mieres (Warwick, 68), Su'a (Hodgson, 68); Fainga'anuku, Brooker (Seymour, 65), O'Donnell, Percival, Galarza, De Carpentier, Betty, Thomas (capt; Senatore, 41).
Pens Mieres 2.
Sin-bin: De Carpentier 65.
Referee JP Doyle (RFU). Attendance 15,629.
