The epochal genius that is Chelsea's talent scouts have done it again. Their need to find a striker is well-known but this time they have outdone themselves, unearthing the brilliant Diego Costa of Atlético Madrid. Quite why he'd leave a superior team in a more pleasant city for an inferior team in a less pleasant city is unknown but Roman Abramovich is renowned for nothing if not his powers of persuasion.
Meanwhile, Manchester United, now fully installed as the Spurs of the north, continue not to purchase players they've heard of but who don't want to play for them. So, despite the number he did on them last season, they still think that they can attract Cesc Fábregas, whose big-game-bottling antics are feted less in Barcelona than was the case at Arsenal. However, Manchester City are also interested and their "technical director", Txiki "Txiki" Begiristain, on a break from changing lightbulbs, fixing scoreboards and the like, recently declared that he would "sign him with his eyes closed". What prowess!
And City are also after the former Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba, whose agent is obviously asking Juventus for even more money because both he and Pogba would like more money – because they like money, why wouldn't they and who doesn't? Pogba, apparently, has progressed from "new Patrick Vieira" to "replacement for Yaya Touré" and to secure him until he's hungry for his next portion of benjamins, they will offer the irresistible bait of either Edin Dzeko or Aleksandar Kolarov, write off what they're owed for Carlos Tevez, and enclose a revolting sum of money.
And City are also after Fernando, the Porto midfielder, whom they failed to acquire in January. Though Fernando – nicknamed the Octopus, on account of how tough he tastes when overcooked – recently signed a new contract, included in it was a £20m buyout clause, which City will have no trouble meeting, given the various entities they have shuffled between their various entities at profit.
And City are also after Arsenal's Bacary Sagna, resolved to depart, despite the mortifying beseeching of an Emirates crowd unaffronted by his desire to play for a good team disguised as a request for more money. Out of contract at the end season, his "people" have spoken to Paris Saint-Germain, Galatasaray and Internazionale, but he retains a strong inclination to achieve maximum aggravation, if at all possible.
Elsewhere, Everton's Roberto Martínez has repaired to Scotland in a bid to further embarrass Formermanchesterunitedmanagerdavidmoyes. With Gerard Deulofeu likely to return to Barcelona, he is watching Celtic's winger, James Forrest, valued at about £7m, and also contemplating a bid for Andrew Robertson, the Dundee United left-back.
Across Stanley Park, we find that set-piece specialist Iago Aspas is unhappy. "I'm not 20 years old any more, I can't go on loan and explode," he said, disappointing the 45,000 inside Anfield still spitting and hissing incandescence at him from last week. Most likely, he will return to Celta Vigo.
But there might be even better news for Liverpool, in the svelte shape of Hatem Ben Arfa. Easily Newcastle's best player, as such Alan Pardew has taken care to fall out with him; there is room for only one star on Tyneside and the possession of talent undermines the manager like nothing else. Happily, there is nothing Brendan Rodgers will not forego in its worship – and a bid of £6m is thought sufficient to secure him.
