29 DAYS LATER

So farewell then, Troy Deeney. The outspoken footballer/coach/pundit/rent-a-quote has been sacked by Forest Green Rovers, ending one of the least illustrious managerial spells in history. Deeney has been ushered out of the door marked Do One (Stroud railway station, five miles) after six games and zero wins in 29 days. Having first rocked up in Nailsworth as player-coach in August, Deeney was put in charge on 20 December after the previous manager, David Horseman, was humanely disposed of. He in turn had replaced Duncan Ferguson, another high-profile appointment that failed spectacularly. Might interim head coach Hannah Dingley have fared better than the two men that followed her? With four wins in 26 league games between them, the bar is lower than the club’s gas bill.

Before his first game in charge, Deeney said: “We may be 91st out of 92 league clubs at present but I am determined to make an immediate impact.” By the time Rovers faced Swindon a week later, they were 92nd – and Deeney was shown a red card during a 2-1 defeat. Owner Dale Vince promised January investment to get the club “looking upward once more, toward League One and beyond,” but after a home draw with Wimbledon, Deeney didn’t seem so sure. “In my head [this] was 18 months down the line, not a random Wednesday in December,” he chirped. “They understand that I’m going to make mistakes but we’ve stripped it down to a basic level of understanding.” Something clearly got lost in translation, because after Saturday’s home defeat to Harrogate, Deeney delivered a masterclass in how not to motivate a struggling squad.

In a post-match interview for the ages, Deeney compared his squad to infants and prison inmates, and said he would “rather watch Antiques Roadshow” than his team. Deeney saved his cruellest critique for Fankaty Dabo, a player who received racist abuse after missing a penalty for Coventry in the Championship playoff final. “Six months ago that kid had a kick to go to the Premier League. Now he won’t get a game in the National League,” Deeney roared. “It looks like he kicks the ball with his shin pads … He is faster than everybody but gets ran past every game.” The backlash was even faster. Chris Sutton called the verbal attack on Dabo “disgraceful”, and Vince wasn’t impressed either. “It’s not the way to coach a team of people,” he mused. “It was harsh, it was wrong. I think it was a mistake.” To be fair, mistakes were what Deeney had promised – and he tried in vain to row back on the comments.

“Every now and again my emotions get the better of me – but it’s because I love so hard,” he wept. Within 48 hours, Deeney was all out of love, via the medium of a short club statement. Perhaps a four-game touchline ban for his red card at Swindon, dished out on Wednesday, proved the final paper straw for Vince. Having earned the ban on his debut, Deeney didn’t stick around long enough to serve it. Every cloud and all that. In the end, he fell 15 days short of the two most reliable yardsticks for crashing and burning: Brian Clough’s infamous 44-day stint at Leeds, and Liz Truss being left in charge of the country for 1,057 hours. The question is: could a shop-bought iceberg lettuce last longer than Deeney did? At this point, we wouldn’t bet against Vince trying to find out. But with Forest Green seven points from safety and on a run of 10 wins in 72 league games, it is Houdini, not Troy Deeney, who is needed at the New Lawn.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I said six months ago that if I offended anyone or let them down, I apologise. My beliefs have never changed, never will. I haven’t changed as a person” – Jordan Henderson, at his Ajax unveiling, reveals that his non-apology apology stance with the LGBTQ+ community hasn’t changed since the summer either.

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FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Thanks for the timely reference to Kurupt FM (yesterday’s Football Daily). Many is the time I’ve watched John O’Shea play in defence or Darwin Núñez sky a volley (or read Football Daily) and thought: ‘Yup, people just do nothing …’” – Mike Wilner.

Why should Ivan Toney pretend he is suddenly disinterested in the chance of playing for a title challenger (yesterday’s Football Daily)? Harry Kane was mocked by many as unambitious for staying so long at Tottenham. Brentford have been very good for Toney, but he’s been exceptional for Brentford as well. As a Bees fan, if he helps us stay up this season, you couldn’t begrudge him a move in the summer … for the right price” – Russell Wallman.

Re: Roger Noble’s letter on VAR (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). Hang on just a second. Is this the worst alias ever from another Noble known to write frequently in to this email? I think we need to know” – Patrick Fahy-Noble (and 1,056 others).

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Russell Wallman, who lands a copy of The Africa Cup of Nations: The History of an Underappreciated Tournament, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their football book store here.

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