LONG GONE
Almost a year to the day since Sheffield United won promotion to the Premier League, their all-too-predictable relegation back to the Championship was confirmed. They went up with three games to spare. They went back down with three games to spare. And in the 366 days that have passed since a vastly superior United team booked their place in the top flight with a win over West Brom, Blades fans have seen them win just three times at Bramall Lane, with one of those coming in last season’s final home game. What with it being the hope that kills you, having their fate sealed with a few games still left in the calendar must surely feel more of a merciful release than the crushing disappointment cheerleaders for The Best League In The World™ would have you believe.
Not that anyone gave United much hope of staying up in the first place. Even before a ball had been kicked, they were most pundits’ favourites for the drop along with Luton, not least because the squad that started the Premier League was significantly worse than the one that had gone up. The sales of Iliman Ndiaye and Sander Berge, and the departure of the loanee Tommy Doyle, meant United’s tilt at staying up was always doomed. Hailed as “one to watch” in Big Website’s Premier League preview of the club’s Premier League prospects, their young striker Daniel Jebbison has been difficult to keep tabs on, as a combination of illness and injuries mean he hasn’t played a single minute of football this season. His fellow striker Rhian Brewster also had yet another campaign almost totally ruined by knack.
“The gap between the Premier League’s haves and have-nots is huge now but some of our performances have been completely unacceptable,” sniffed Blades boss Chris Wilder, following a rare recent game in which his side only stank the place out for one of its two halves. As card-carrying members of the have-nots club, United have shipped five or more goals in seven different top-flight games this season and will almost certainly suffer the ignominy of having to raise their collective bat to the pavilion and all four corners of whatever ground they happen to be playing in when they concede their 100th of the campaign. Considering the amount of money and leisure time their put-upon supporters spend for the privilege of seeing their side get repeatedly battered in a league where the odds are hopelessly stacked against them, they could be forgiven for calling for an open-top bus parade through Sheffield for their side to celebrate their return to a division where they’ll actually be able to compete, and should renew hostilities with city rivals Wednesday for the first time in five years.
“It’s going to be a tough summer,” wailed Wilder, the soon-to-be-former Premier League manager who only has three games left before match officials can comfortably eat sandwiches in his presence with impunity. “But I’ve got another year on my contract and I’d like to think the supporters trust me. I’ve got a desire to get it right next season.” If by getting it “right”, the 56-year-old means finishing a respectable seventh in the Championship so that the supporters in question don’t have to endure another season of misery inflicted upon them by far richer Premier League grandees and state-owned arrivistes with whom their side can’t possibly expect to compete, then Wilder will almost certainly be welcome to stay.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“You can see from my celebration how much it meant to me. It’s all I’ve dreamed of since I started playing. It makes me so excited for next season. Obviously I’m the biggest Everton fan ever, so just to contribute and prove everyone wrong that we can get a point against these teams means so much. I don’t know how I’m going to go to school” – shades of a young Wayne Rooney as 16-year-old old Issy Hobson, a lifelong Evertonian, becomes the youngest ever WSL goalscorer by heading in a 95th-minute equaliser against Arsenal. Her goal secured a 1-1 draw, effectively ending the Gunners’ title bid, and was the Toffees’ first point against Arsenal since 2012 (Hobson was … erm, four). Good luck in double maths, Issy!
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I have yet to come to terms with Jürgen Klopp’s impending departure from Anfield, much less the news about his likely replacement. You might say I’m trying to cop that top spot for the Kop’s Klopp slot is Slot” – Peter Oh.
With reference to your impassioned diatribe about the Championship (Friday’s Football Daily); we hear ya. However, I think even its biggest cheerleaders would concede that most would still choose to watch the Premier League if forced to pick sides. Don’t shoot the messenger!” – Anthony Brady.
As you say, lots to love about the Colchester v Derby photo (Friday’s Memory Lane, full email edition), not least the credit: Photograph: Eamonn McCabe” – Iggy.
Re: Arsenal supporter Anne Hathaway (last Wednesday’s Still Want More, full email edition). In one of her most famous films, she embarks on a trip to the edge of a black hole, watching as all the energy is drained from anything straying too close to its gravitational pull. Are you sure she’s not a Manchester United fan?” – Simon Mazier.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Simon Mazier.
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