England are playing Spain on Sunday in the final of the European Championship 2024. Let that sink in. Despite all the negativity from the media and fans for most of the tournament, Gareth Southgate’s side are in a second successive Euros final. I’m delighted.

But I’m also wary. Football culture is intense and often toxic. How will we react if the team wins or loses?

I remember the final of the last Euros. I remember watching Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka miss their penalties against Italy. I remember anticipating the racist abuse that would follow. England’s recent quarter-final victory over Switzerland on penalties was hailed as redemption for the England team who lost at Wembley in 2021 but also for Saka, who buried his penalty and his demons.

Yet judging from the reaction to the Switzerland win, I’m not sure we’ve made much progress in the past three years.

Notable figures such as Rio Ferdinand, Leon Mann and Diane Abbott understandably highlighted the heritage of all the penalty takers and challenged racists in their posts on X. Each player who took a penalty is of black heritage, including Cole Palmer who has St Kitts and Nevis ancestry on his father’s side.

The success of the black players was success for many black people who felt for the players who missed their penalties in 2021. Many of us didn’t look at the racist abuse they dealt with as an isolated incident but as a moment indicative of a culture that celebrates black people when they’re excellent but vilifies them when they’re not.

And that’s the crux of the problem. The posts from Ferdinand, Mann and Abbott caused a stir, with some people joining the celebration of black English players while others perhaps disingenuously questioning why their race was even mentioned.

For those who are unable to read between the lines, the race of the five penalty takers was mentioned because of the racist abuse three years ago.

First the racist abuse was downplayed as something that came from overseas (which has since been challenged) and then the way black people celebrated the players this time was policed. While I fall on the side of people celebrating the players for their performance in the context of being black and English, I worry we still haven’t learned from 2021, on both sides.

Terms such as “black excellence” are being thrown around as we celebrate the team’s achievements. I’ve never really liked the phrase because it values black people on their ability to be excellent. It not only places pressure on black people to be excellent but also others black people’s excellence as something separate to everyone else’s.

But what if Saka had missed his penalty against Switzerland? I’m sure many would have put a metaphorical arm around him (as they did when his face was plastered across back pages after England’s recent defeat to Iceland) but would he have fallen victim to more racist abuse? Would the abuse be even worse because it would be considered a double whammy?

Perhaps black and excellent is a more appropriate phrase. England’s penalty performance was excellent and the takers happened to be black. That would be the ideal but I fear we’re still a long way from making that a reality.

The relationship between blackness and Englishness is still quite tenuous, at least in comparison to black Britishness. The singer Rachel Chinouri, who co-opted England flags for her What A Devasting Turn of Events album, said: “England’s my home even if I’ve felt unwelcome”.

There’s still a sense of difference between the two identities and there’s a different lens through which I view the world because of this. While I don’t always talk about race as it’s taboo in this country, it’s often in the back of my mind when walking in an affluent area, shopping in a convenience store or sitting in a pub.

The only time blackness and Englishness really mix is when the national team plays football. That’s when I want to feel part of something and cheer England on. As long as it doesn’t go to penalties again. My anxiety for the team, the black players and myself in an east London pub will be too much. That’s why I’m hoping England can win it in normal time against Spain.