The British diver Andrea Spendolini-Sirieix spoke of being happy to wake up at all on the morning of her diving final after a period of poor mental health, as she missed out on a second Olympic medal.
The 19-year-old diver, who won a bronze last week in the synchronised 10-metre platform with Lois Toulson, came sixth in the individual final on Tuesday afternoon, but Spendolini-Sirieix said her tears on leaving the pool had not been in response to her performance.
“So I woke up this morning, and like, the first thought that I had was: ‘I’m happy that I woke up,’ and that’s just how it’s been for a long time,” she said. “I’m just grateful to be alive and to have this experience and to be here with my family.
“I’m genuinely not upset about my performance and I’m not upset about where I came. My competitors did better than me today. It just means that I’ve got a lot more that I need to do.”
Spendolini-Sirieix, who was the youngest diver on the Team GB roster in Tokyo having qualified at the age of 16, had told of wanting to leave the sport after that Games but she had not previously disclosed the depth of her unhappiness.
“Three years ago I didn’t even want to be alive, so today I’m just happy that I am alive, I’m breathing and I’ve got my family to support me …
“After Tokyo, it was a really scary time for myself so that’s why I treasure every morning, because it’s like my eyes have woken up.
“I’ve got breath. I’ve got food on the table. I’ve got water in my cup, and I’ve got a roof over my head. So, you know, sometimes the Olympic medal isn’t everything. We’ve got other things, so we really should be more thankful and those are the things that we unfortunately take for granted … I feel like there’s a lot of struggles there. Everyone doesn’t see and we push through silently.”
Spendolini-Sirieix, whose father Fred is the maître d’ in the TV show First Dates and is in Paris as part of the BBC’s commentary team, had qualified for the final after finishing third in the semi-finals on Monday.
A strong opening dive put her in touching distance of a medal in fourth position but she slipped down the table as the Chinese divers Quan Hongchan and Chen Yuxi, who won gold in the synchronised dive, asserted their dominance.
Quan’s first dive was judged to be unimprovable, with a full 90 marks given. A new Chinese word has been created to describe her performances, translatable as “water splash disappearance technique”, and it was not hard to see why.
A decent sized pebble would have caused more of a ripple after her first forward dive with three and a half somersaults and the standards hardly slipped in the following four attempts.
Quan and Chen came in first and second positions with North Korea’s Kim Mi-rae finishing with bronze. China has now won all five diving competitions in the Aquatics Centre in Saint-Denis.
Spendolini-Sirieix was in tears after her final dive, one of the best she executed, and was comforted by her mother at the end.
“My mum told me to just keep smiling and she said she was proud of me and they were here to see me. At the end of the day, that’s all I can ask for.
“I’m so happy to be here, to be at the Olympic Games. It’s been a really long year and it doesn’t take away from my accomplishments. Just missing out on one medal doesn’t change who I am. It was just God’s way of saying there is more to do and I just give God all the glory.”
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counsellor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
