Before we wrap up, here’s our report on Australia’s resounding win.

“I said earlier that at one stage England looked on course for 400,” says Simon McMahon. “Even had they reached it, you get the feeling Head would have chased the runs down almost by himself, he’s that good.”

There has never been an ODI opener like him, not even Virender Sehwag. His strike rate of 116 is easily the highest of anybody who has scored at least 1000 ODI runs at the top of the order. This is the list:

• 116 Travis Head

• 106 Jonny Bairstow, Jason Roy

• 105 Virender Sehwag

• 103 Brendon McCullum

• 102 Jesse Ryder

Australia were far too good for a young England side who left a few runs out there with the bat. Mind you, no target is safe when Travis Head is in the mood. He produced another dirty masterpiece, hitting 154 not out from 129 balls with 20 fours and five sixes.

Marnus Labuschagne supported him with a quietly brilliant 77 not out, which included 57 from the last 32 balls. Their partnership of 140 was almost flawless. And they shared five wickets earlier in the day.

43rd over: Australia 310-3 (Head 152, Labuschagne 72) Bong! Head dances down to hit Livingstone for six to bring up a joyous and brilliant 150. What a player! When he was recalled for the 2021-22 Ashes he was about to turn 28 and his career was going nowhere. He was, in the parlance of our time, just another one from the bottle. Now he is the most destructive all-format batsman in the world, and arguably the best.

Labuschagne does further damage to Livingstone’s figures (9-0-75-1) with a hard sweep for four. Australia have scored 106 in the last 11 overs.

42nd over: Australia 295-3 (Head 144, Labuschagne 65) Labuschagne skids back to cut one last boundary off Rashid, who ends a chastening evening with figures of 10-0-59-0. Superb batting.

41st over: Australia 289-3 (Head 143, Labuschagne 60) Labuschagne pulls out in his deelivery stride and says something to Labuschagne, who belts the actual delivery for four and gives plenty back. Not sure what that was about.

There are four byes later in the over when a leg break from Livingstone beats everything and everyone. For 80 overs this felt like a close game; it has turned into a right hammering. In fact Australia have scored 89 off the last 9 overs. Crikey.

40th over: Australia 276-3 (Head 142, Labuschagne 52) Remember when Australia lost their first two games of last year’s World Cup and everyone overindulged on schadenfreude? This will be the 13th consecutive win since then.

Head hits his fourth six, carting Rashid miles over mid-on. In some ways this innings is reminiscent of Zak Crawley’s Ashes masterpiece: very scratchy for the first 40 or so runs, frighteningly good thereafter. In both innings there was no inbetween bit, no 10- or 20-run period where you thought they were starting to hit form.

He does have one moment of fortune when a big leading edge somehow lands safely on the off side. Frankly, he’s earned it.

39th over: Australia 266-3 (Head 134, Labuschagne 50) Lanuschagne scrunches Livingstone for a single to reach an accomplished 42-ball half-century, the perfect supporting role. He hit 20 from 29 balls then 30 from the next 13. And why not?

38th over: Australia 263-3 (Head 132, Labuschagne 49) England are a beaten team, their will broken by a moustachioed, easy-going phenom called Travis Michael Head.

Labuschagne sweeps Rashid for four more – he’s hit 29 off his last 11 balls – before Head drags a slightly disgusting hoick behind square for another boundary.

Australia need 53 from 72 balls.

37th over: Australia 251-3 (Head 126, Labuschagne 43) Oh yes, Labuschagne is into his work now. He carts the new bowler Livingstone down the ground for two sixes down in three balls, then sweeps fine for four. An expert at work.

“I think you’re right about Travis Head, but he is an unusual great in that he doesn’t really have a signature shot or typical innings,” says Gary Naylor. “I suspect it’s because he does everything so well that nothing stands out.”

Isn’t his typical innings – and I say this with nothing but love – causing utter mayhem? I agree about the signature shot. I suspect there are a few reasons we’ve been slow to recognise his greatness. He’s not particularly elegant, he was no more than a good international player till the age of 28 and, perhaps most significantly, he doesn’t look or strut like a superstar.

I was going to call him the beast next door, such is the savagery of his hitting, but that makes him sound like a serial killer so let’s move on.

36th over: Australia 233-3 (Head 125, Labuschagne 26) Travis Head could break another record today. The highest score in a successful runchase in England is Jason Roy’s 162 against Sri Lanka eight years ago; the highest against England in England is Sanath Jayasuriya’s riotous 152 at Headingley in 2006. Check out these bowling figures!

Labuschagne opens the face to steer Carse past the keeper for four, his first boundary from his 30th delivery. Australia seem to be strolling to victory; they need 83 from 84 balls.

35th over: Australia 225-3 (Head 124, Labuschagne 19) Australia keep things ticking over with five from Jacks’ over. It makes sense that Head and Labuschagne would bat well together and the numbers reflect that: their average partnership is 64 in Tests and 154 in ODIs.

34th over: Australia 220-3 (Head 123, Labuschagne 16) Brydon Carse replaces his Durham buddy Matt Potts. Extra pace can be a blessing and a curse; on this occasion it’s emphatically the latter.

Head times a low full toss through midwicket for four, then slugs a short ball just over the leaping Brook at mid-on. After a solitary dot ball, Head cuts Carse to the cover boundary and drags a pull through square leg. Four fours in five balls, all hit in an arc from cover to square leg.

This is just sensational batting from a true modern great. He is. We can’t call this a purple patch – it’s been going on three years.

33rd over: Australia 203-3 (Head 107, Labuschagne 15) Harry Brook holds on to Rashid’s last three overs, replacing him with Will Jacks. The ball is still turning and stopping occasionally, so it probably won’t be easy for a new batsman to start.

Three from the over, including a muffed reverse sweep froim Labuschagne that goes for a single. Australia need 113 from 102 balls.

32nd over: Australia 200-3 (Head 106, Labuschagne 12) A quiet over from Potts, four from it.

Labuschagne is a perfect foil for Head, just as he was in last year’s World Cup final. He’s the forgotten man of that triumph, in which he made 58 not out from 110 balls. Tonight he has 12 from 19 balls and the best seat in house.

31st over: Australia 196-3 (Head 105, Labuschagne 9) England know that the game changes if they dismiss Head, especially as they are still ahead on the comparison.

Head backs away to flat bat Rashid through extra cover, and this time even the sprawling Bethell can’t save the boundary. Phenomenal batting.

29th over: Australia 184-3 (Head 97, Labuschagne 6) Labuschagne pulls Rashid fiercely towards cow corner, where Bethell saves three runs with a brilliant diving stop. He’s made three of those now, saving eight runs in the process.

Labuschagne is not out! It’s umpire’s call on height rather than line, so England do at least keep their review.

England review for LBW against Labuschagne! Rashid replaces Bethell, an aggressive move with Head so close to his century. A lovely delivery skids on to hit Labuschagne on the pad; it’s given not out but Harry Brook, a little reluctantly, takes matters upstairs. It’s very close, I’d say umpire’s call or out.

28th over: Australia 181-3 (Head 96, Labuschagne 4) Head makes room to glide Archer for another boundary, which takes him within one hit of a century. He’s not living dangerously any more.

I know I’m obsessed with Travis Head but how can you not be? When he was dropped from the ODI team in 2018, apparently for good, he averaged 34 with a strike rate of 90. He returned four years later, and since then he averages 61 and has a strike rate of 121. This is not remotely normal behaviour.

27th over: Australia 173-3 (Head 90, Labuschagne 2) Marnus Labuschagne is the new batsman. That little assault before Green’s dismissal means he has a bit of time to get his eye in; the required rate is around 6.2 per over. And Travis Head is batting.

26th over: Australia 169-2 (Head 88, Green 32) Archer returns in place of Livingstone, who bowled a mixed spell of 5-0-30-1. His loosener (sic) zips past Head’s flashing blade.

That’s as good as it gets for England in that over. Green times a beautiful straight drive for four, then Head slashes a cut just over backward point for four more.

25th over: Australia 159-2 (Head 83, Green 27) Green sweeps Bethell very fimly for four, continuing this excellent little spell for Australia. Head tries to batter another boundary past mid-off, where the sprawling Jacks does superbly to save three runs.

Englad might need a change of pace. Australia have scored 32 from the last four overs and are in control.

24th over: Australia 152-2 (Head 82, Green 22) Now Livingstone starts his over by giving Green a free boundary. In fact he saw Bethell’s four-ball and raised it by bowling a full toss outside leg stump. An inside-edge past the stumps for two brings up a rapid fifty partnership, and then Head hammers a sweep round the corner for four.

Head chanced his way to 40-odd, and that’s not a criticism because how the hell can you play like he does and not take chances. But the last 40 or so runs, starting with that pressure-relieving pull for four off Will Jacks, have been scored with ominous certainty.

The numbers support the eye test: 41 from 47 balls until that boundary, then 41 off 30.

23rd over: Australia 143-2 (Head 78, Green 17) Jacob Bethell, an occasional but useful left-arm spinner in white-ball cricket, comes on for Adil Rashid. His first ball is a sweaty-palmed aberration, well outside leg stump and swept for four by Green.

It’s a good over after that, even if Head steers a boundary to third man off the final delivery. Nothing wrong with the ball, just superb batting.

Books will be written about Travis Head you know. He’s the assassin next door, an extraordinary cricketer.

22nd over: Australia 134-2 (Head 74, Green 12) Head pulls Livingstone viciously over midwicket for six. Livingstone replies with three dot balls in a row, including a quicker delivery that just – and I mean just - misses the off stump.

Australia need 182 from 164 balls.

21st over: Australia 127-2 (Head 68, Green 12) Australia have slipped behind the required rate, though they won’t mind that too much while they have so many wickets in hand. Rashid’s fourth over is a good one, two from it.

19th over: Australia 122-2 (Head 66, Green 10) Rashid errs in line and is worked for three by Green, then in length and is blazed over extra cover for four by Head. Never mind WinViz; we need a Travis Head Danger-o-meter which shows whether he’s living dangerously, looking dangerous or both. In the last few overs it has swung towards looking dangerous.

18th over: Australia 113-2 (Head 61, Green 6) Spin at both ends is an OBOer’s nightmare, especially in white-ball cricket, so apologies for any short entries. Like this one, which exists solely to tell you that Liam Livingstone conceded only two runs from his second over. And that it’s time for drinks.

17th over: Australia 111-2 (Head 60, Green 5) When Rashid overpitches, Head pumps him down the ground for six with nary a hint of fuss. He’s just a postman delivering letters, so don’t you dare tell him it was a great shot.

The next ball is spot on and beats the outside edge, and Rashid does well to concede only three from the last five deliveries.

“After last year’s World Cup final,” begins Krishnamoorthy V, “the Times of India headline was ‘Head Breaks (1.4 billion) Hearts’. What is 67 million in comparison?”

I dunno. 0.47857 per cent?

16th over: Australia 102-2 (Head 51, Green 5) The new batter Cameron Green accepts a freebie, a nice pair of Garrett Leight Hampton 1001 glasses smacking Livingstone through the covers for four.

15th over: Australia 92-1 (Head 50, Smith 28) Rashid has a big shout for LBW against Smith turned down by Kumar Dharmasena. England decide not to review. It was certainly hitting the stumps but probably pitched just outside leg. The technology should tell us in a second.

It’s another terrific over from Rashid, full of mischief and imagination. He was always a brilliant bowler under Eoin Morgan but in the last couple of years he’s become a master of his art.

14th over: Australia 91-1 (Head 50, Smith 27) Jacks drops slightly short, which allows Head to release some pressure with a ferocious pull past mid-on for four. Head raises both arms in mock-celebration after finally hitting a gap rather than a fielder.

Maybe that will lubricate Head again. He steers Jacks past short third for four more to bring up a scruffy run-a-ball fifty. Imagine being good enough and bold enough to hit a scruffy run-a-ball fifty! He is one of the true wonders of world cricket.

13th over: Australia 80-1 (Head 41, Smith 25) Adil Rashid replaces Carse and concedes just a single from his first over. Australia are ahead of the rate, which means they can afford a few dry overs while they work out the safest shots against each spinner on this slightly awkward pitch.

One big-spinning delivery almost gets his through Head, who then edges a googly (I think) to safety on the off side. He’s really struggling to time it against the spinners: 13 balls, one run.

12th over: Australia 79-1 (Head 41, Smith 24) Another very tight over from Jacks yields only two runs. As during the England innings, it looks a lot harder to score freely against the slower bowlers. Harry Brook has four spin options today: Jacks, Adil Rashid, Liam Livingstone and Jacob Bethell. Oh, and Jofra’s left-arm spin.

11th over: Australia 77-1 (Head 40, Smith 23) Smith drives Carse for two to bring up the fifty partnership in 40 balls. But it’s another impressive over from Carse, including a cracking yorker that Smith just manages to dig out.

Correction: it was an impressive over, and then Smith pulled a length ball mightily over midwicket for six. It wasn’t a particularly bad ball, just an exceptional shot from a freakish genius.

In other news, Surrey are five Somerset wickets away from winning a third straight County Championship. They haven’t done that since winning seven in a row in the 1950s.

10th over: Australia 69-1 (Head 40, Smith 15) Will Jacks comes on to bowl the last over of the Powerplay. Head accompanied him to the cleaners at the T20 World Cup, taking 22 from one over, but on this occasion Jacks concedes just a single to Smith. Four dot balls in a row to Head will make him feel really good about life, and give Harry Brook more encouragement that his spinners can win this game.

9th over: Australia 68-1 (Head 40, Smith 14) Head punishes Carse’s first wide delivery, clobbering it inelegantly between extra cover and mid-off for four. Carse tightens his line agian, so Head improvises to flick the last ball for four. Tremendous batting. He’s such a boundary fiend: 34 of his 40 runs have come in fours and sixes.

8th over: Australia 60-1 (Head 32, Smith 14) Archer changes ends and is flicked spectacularly for six by Head, who has had plenty of good fortune but is looking really dangerous. He tries a not dissimilar shot later in the over, shouts “Awwww no!” when he mistimes it and is relieved to see the ball drop short of deep backward square.

Smith continues Australia’s Jofrassault with a top-edged hook for six off the last ball. Archer has unlikely figures of 4-0-35-0; there have been a few loose balls but he’s had no luck.

“I’m going to take issue with Daniel’s description of Archer as ‘England’s best bowler’ earlier in the piece,” writes Mike Daniels. “The two standout England ODI bowlers of the last ten years are Woakes and Rashid. Archer has had a short spell in the ODI side and showed promise but had missed so much cricket due to injury for him to be labelled as such by Daniel. It’s great to see Archer back but before being showered with such accolades he needs to stay fit for a couple of years and put in the performances.”

Isn’t this just the age-old longevity v peak debate? Those in Team Longevity pick Woakes and Rashid, those in Team Peak probably pick Jofra. You’re both right. We’ll all right. It’s all right.

7th over: Australia 47-1 (Head 25, Smith 8) Travis Head is batting, ergo Australia are ahead of the required rate. England turn to Brydon Carse, who bowled beautifully in Friday’s T20 international at Cardiff. In that game, from memory, he cramped Head for room and he starts with five successive dot balls. To Travis Head, in a Powerplay, on a weekday. That’s a superb start.

6th over: Australia 46-1 (Head 24, Smith 8) Smith clips Potts off the pads and over midwicket for six. That’s a cracking shot, especially as it’s only the second ball he’s faced. Head follows up with successive boundaries: one nailed, one edged.

“Why is Travis Head morphing slowly into David Boon?” asks Charlie Tinsley. “Has he been sinking [pejorative word for Australian beer] on the red-eye? Can you do your job and start asking some hard questions?”

Arf. My favourite detail from that Boon story is that, upon arrival, a sozzled Merv Hughes broke off from an official function to ring a radio station (I think) in Australia and announce: “The big news is that Boonie’s cracked the first fifty of the tour!”

5th over: Australia 30-1 (Head 15, Smith 1) This is an entertaining contest between Archer and Head. Of course it is: it’s Jofra Archer bowling to Travis Head FFS. An outswinger beats the edge; a half-volley is rifled for four; an utter jaffa squares Head up and bounces over middle stump; and then a poor ball is clipped past short fine leg for four more.

4th over: Australia 22-1 (Head 7, Smith 1) Travis Head is dropped! He slashed a very wide ball from Potts towards deepish backward point, where Carse – maybe 15 yards in from the boundary – leapt but couldn’t hold on to a very difficult one-handed chance. That was a weird fusion of Ben Stokes’s catch v South Africa at the 2019 World Cup and his drop at Edgbaston last year.

3rd over: Australia 16-0 (Marsh 6, Head 6) A mixed second over from Archer includes three wides and a short delivery that is butchered through the covers by Marsh. Head also fiddles an edge not far wide of second slip, although it would have bounced just short. Bethell does superbly to save the boundary, then hits the stumps with his throw from third man. Head was home but it was an eye-catching piece of fielding.

Archer ends the over with a gorgeous outswinger that beats Head’s awkward grope.

“Well that felt about 40-50 runs light to me, notwithstanding the slightly tiring pitch,” says Brian Withington. “Could be a fascinating chase though, as Australia aren’t forced to adopt turbo nutter ba$tard mode from the off. That’s not to say they won’t consider it, mind.”

Travis Head has another mode?

2nd over: Australia 6-0 (Marsh 1, Head 4) Marsh is beaten by two of Matthew Potts’ first three deliveries. Both moved off the seam, with the first a particularly seedy seed. Marsh mistimes a pull onto the body before flicking through midwicket for a single to get off the mark. This is a good start from England.

1st over: Australia 5-0 (Marsh 0, Head 4) Archer’s first ball jags back sharply to hit Marsh on the pad. He enquires for LBW but it would have missed leg stump. Marsh gets the scoreboard going with a leg-bye, then Head edges a big drive over the slips for four. Head is the poster boy for living dangerously, which makes his assaults even more thrilling.

That was a very good over from Archer, with nothing loose and a couple of false strokes.

Jofra Archer, playing his first ODI since March 2023, will open the bowling to Mitch Marsh and Travis Head.

Thanks Daniel, hello everyone. Travis Head, the destroyer next door, feels like the key to this runchase. Australia will want to get ahead of the rate on a required slightly tired pitch, and nobody in the world – not even Rohit Sharma – is as dangerous as Head in the first 10 overs.

Still, 316 will still take some getting, and this looks like being a really fun match and series: the teams look well-matched and keen to entertain. But my watch is over, so thanks all for your company – here’s Rob Smyth to coax you through the Aussie dig. Peace out people.

The good news for England is that, like Australia, they’ve plenty part-time spin of their own, and having seen what works, have no need to allow their quicks to get pasted all over before deploying it. The question, then, is how early Harry Brook deploys it, and whether the tourists have worked out a way of playing it – not holing out to midwicket or long-on, for example.

40th over: England 315-8 (Bethell 35, Potts 11) It’s Head given the final over and he lands his second ball outside off, giving Bethell plenty of time to get down on one knee, off balance, and punish six via slog-sweep. And when an edge for four follows, you wonder if England are about to redeem the silliness of the last hour…

49th over: England 304-8 (Bethell 25, Potts 11) England have struggled to hit anything properly in the second powerplay, but Potts unloads everything at the final ball of Zampa’s spell, clearing the front pad and cleansing a floaty one over that same long-on/midwicket fence that has so vexed his teammates.

49th over: England 298-8 (Bethell 25, Potts 5) Now Zampa hits Potts’ pad, which sounds like a children’s book, and when the call is again not out, again Marsh signals a review.

49th over: England 298-8 (Bethell 25, Potts 5) Zampa will now complete a spell that begun badly but is now of its usual high standard and, after a single to Bethell, Potts misses with an attempted reverse. Care removes the bails but Australia also think there was a glove – me too – and review the not-out call.

48th over: England 297-8 (Bethell 24, Potts 5) Do England go for it or take whatever they can get? It looks like the latter, the first four balls of the over yielding two twos and a one; another one follows, and you can only admire the resilience and skill of the Aussie tweakers – while applauding Marsh’s astute captaincy. It might’ve taken him longer that it should’ve done to schlep his quicks off, but his frequent bowling changes have prevented the batters from settling.

47th over: England 291-8 (Bethell 21, Potts 2) Potts needs to get Bethell on strike and does so immediately, driving to cover for one. But when the youngster takes a single himself off the penultimate delivery of the over, they can’t complete the second run off the last, so he'’s stuck at the non-striker’s as Head returns.

47th over: England 288-7 (Bethell 20, Archer 4) Labuschagne replaces Zampa to clean up the tail, Bethell taking one down the ground.

46th over: England 287-7 (Bethell 19, Archer 4) Oh this is lovely, Bethell stepping down the track and inside the line to flow four over extra; he’s a player and, like his skipper, you can tell he knows it. He gets down the other end with a single, then Archer sweeps hard for four more before missing with a reverse. A better over for England, nine from it.

45th over: England 278-7 (Bethell 14, Archer 0) Three more dots from Zampa, who now has 3-42 off nine. He took some tap at the start but figured out a method, and against the spin, England just have’t been able to marry hitting with common sense.

45th over: England 278-6 (Bethell 14, Carse 2) Bethell gave Zampa a tousing just the other day, but all he can manage off the first ball of this latest over is a single.

44th over: England 277-6 (Bethell 13, Carse 2) Head returns and we learn that Dwarhsuis has strained a pec chucking in from the boundary; you feel for him, because that might be his tour. England, though, have work to do, a single coming from each ball of the over bar the last, a dot, and the sense now is that they’ll do well to make many more than 300.

43rd over: England 272-6 (Bethell 10, Carse 0) Suddenly, England are in danger of falling well below-par, and I’m a little surprised Livingstone attacked like that; I expected the others to swing around him. Zampa, meanwhile, will love this, a new batter needing to score and Carse cannot, his wicket-maiden is also the first maiden of the match.

42nd over: England 272-5 (Livingstone 13, Bethell 10) We see Dwarshuis with a heavily strapped shoulder and neck; what a shame for that to happen on his debut, though at least ill fortune left him alone long enough for him to get his maiden ODI wicket. Meantime, back in the middle, Short rushes through another cheap over, just three from it.

41st over: England 269-5 (Livingstone 11, Bethell 9) The problem England have currently is that they don’t have that much batting to come. Carse can whack it but they won’t want him to bat a long time, and Livingstone, who I’m certain is desperate to assault Labuschagne, knows he needs to be there at the end if possible. So it is that another over of mysterious spin is taken for just four, and I’d expect Bethell to have a go at it soon/

40th over: England 265-5 (Livingstone 10, Bethell 6) Adil Rashid will be watching this and fancying himself, because Australia’s spinners have put a brake on England’s scoring. This latest Short over goes for four, all of them singles, and with 10 to go a total of around 340 looks likely; decent, but not definitive.

39th over: England 261-5 (Livingstone 8, Bethell 4) Labuschagne continues and, after a single to Livingstone, Bethell waits for one, opening the face as ball passes bat to guide four between point and short third. Gosh, but the next delivery keeps very low, the batter going back and unable to get close enough to play a shot; he’ll be relived to see his off-stump intact.

38th over: England 256-5 (Livingstone 7, Bethell 0) Out comes the 20-year-old for his debut knock and England are wobbling a little; they’ll still post something challenging, but it no longer looks likely to be a monster.

38th over: England 256-4 (Smith 23, Livingstone 7) The thing about Labuschagne’s bowling is that he’s almost crouching at the point of delivery and the arm goes round rather than high, so doesn’t offer batters the bounce they need to hit over the top, rushing and crowding them at the same time. I guess there’s also a mental thing: the sense that he’s not good enough to hurt quality batters, never mind set quality batters, but back to the now, Smith hammers shorts’ first ball over the top for four, then takes to towards point. And have a look! The next delivery is hoiked high around the corner and Hardie is there! But when he takes the catch – and it’s a beauty, leaping high, hands above head – he realises that momentum is taking him over the rope, so he throws the ball away; smart work, because he’ll have been buzzing at the grab.

37th over: England 248-4 (Smith 16, Livingstone 6) Labuschagne raps Smith on the pad, stepping back, and he hollers for lb; not out, says the umpire. He gave that a pretty good rip as it goes, but I think it was a little high. A second dot follows, then Smith, who’s been a revelation this summer, creams six over midwicket, a wide and a one completing a decent over considering it came from Marnus’ golden arm, eight from it.

36th over: England 240-4 (Smith 9, Livingstone 6) With two new batters at the crease, Marsh looks to rush through another over, Short replacing Head. Smith takes one and a wide soon follows, the the in-form Livingstone scoops two to fine leg, then goes again and this time the ball runs to the fence for four. Eight from the over, and England needed that.

35th over: England 232-3 (Brook 39, Smith 8) As Dwarshuis runs around the boundary, apparently trying to prove his fitness, Labuschagne returns; I’m a little surprised at that, as he got the wicket but over the stretch you’d expect him go get the treatment. And shonuff, Smith clobbers through midwicket for four then, after a single, Brook sweeps to the fence then bashes over midwicket for six!

34th over: England 217-3 (Brook 29, Smith 3) Ahahaha, now it’s Head bowling, and that makes sense: the spinners have been better at restricting the flow of runs. The quicks, I guess, have little margin for error because anything into the pitch sits up, whereas the spinners are able to make the ball stick, and two singles is a decent return from a loosening over.

33rd over: England 214-3 (Brook 28, Smith 1) In comms, Ponting reveals that Maxwell messaged him to say “He won’t be able to sleep tonight” but it’s not clear whether he means Duckett, after getting out to him and that, or Marnus, after getting him out with that.

33rd over: England 213-2 (Duckett 95, Brook 27) Perhaps running out of options, Marsh introduces Marnus to the attack who of course conducts himself like an experienced spinner and starts nicely.

32nd over: England 211-2 (Duckett 94, Brook 27) Green returns and immediately goes around to Duckett, getting up some decent pace. But just as he looks to have got out of the over with little damage done, he gets all big, trying a bouncer that Brook easily helps over the infield for four through deep backward square.

31st over: England 204-2 (Duckett 92, Brook 22) I wonder if Zampa’a bowling a little quicker than usual – he’s certainly bowling fuller. And he’s also bowling better, another economical over ceding just three.

30th over: England 201-2 (Duckett 90, Brook 21) Just as I’m wondering where Dwarshuis is, Ponting says he’s been off the pitch for a while, then Duckett reverses Short around the corner for for. A single follows, then Brook again takes one step to smite six, this time over long-off, before lapping to fine leg for two. Thirteen off the over, and if the rough calculation is to double whatever a team has at this stage, Australia need to get the abacus out.

29th over: England 188-2 (Duckett 85, Brook 13) Zampa has settled now and he rushes through an over for the cost of just three singles. But if he – and Australia – can’t pick up more wickets, they’ll need to bat superbly just to make a contest out of this.

28th over: England 185-2 (Duckett 83, Brook 12) After ceding two singles Short finds a bit of drift away, missing Brook’s outside edge, and I think the last time a ball beat the bat was when Dwarshuis bowled Salt 20 overs ago. Two more singles follow after which Brook decides he’s seen enough, waiting for one before stepping down and swinging high over cover for six. He’s in.

27th over: England 175-2 (Duckett 81, Brook 4) Will Brook go at Zampa? No, or not yet. The balls are coming fuller now and they’re harder to get away, three singles coming off another tight over. Have Australia belatedly worked out how to bowl on this track?

“Afternoon Danno, you beautiful human,” begins Simo McMahon. “Shorts can be worn all year round unless the temperature drops below zero, and even then they’re acceptable with woolly socks, hiking boots and a bobble hat. Glad we’ve cleared that up. England will be looking at 400+ here..?”

I’m a big shorts guy – at primary school they had to make me wear trousers – but primarily with flip-flops as I’m also a big vibes guy, though I agree that they’re essential on any hike, so boots then.

26th over: England 172-2 (Duckett 80, Brook 2) Looking again at the wicket, the fullness of the delivery was what prevented Jacks from getting the elevation he was after, so credit to the bowler. And this is a good over from Short, his fourth over ceding just two singles.

“The reason this impressive score doesn’t impress one,” writes Krishnaoorthy V, “is that whatever the English can do, the Aussies can do one better.”

If only it was only one.

25th over: England 170-2 (Duckett 79, Brook 1) Other hand, last thing Australia need is Harrance Cherrington Brook teeing off, but he contents himself with a gentle start, shoving to mid-off for one, and Duckett then twizzles to midwicket, also for one.

25th over: England 168-1 (Duckett 78, Jacks 62) Zampa returns and immediately, Duckett sweeps him – for two – then a single brings Jacks on to strike.

24th over: England 165-1 (Duckett 75, Jacks 62) Short returns – an 11th bowling change, notes Broad. He reckons it’s a plan to keep England guessing; I wonder if it’s a response to the treatment England are handing out. And there’s the biggest cheer of the day so far, Jacks stepping away to make room the bowler is seeking to deny him, driving and megging Abbott, who’s properly having one out there. A wide and two singles complete the over, the only question facing the batters whether to really go after it given how much there is to come, or keep doing what they’re doing.

23rd over: England 157-1 (Duckett 73, Jacks 57) “I’ve just seen the sun come out and that’ll be music to the England batters’ ears,” Colemanballs Broad, relishing the taste of leather on willow. Meantie, Hardie runs in and Jscks unloads the suitcase at his third delivery, edging four over backward point; two singles follow and that’s a comparatively quiet over, just six coming from it.

22nd over: England 151-1 (Duckett 72, Jacks 52) Eeeeesh, Jacks hauls a pull for two, then when one sits up outside off he makes a cuppa before clouting it to the square-leg fence to raise an impressive fifty. The more I see of this pitch, the more I think Test-match lines and length is what’s needed her, cramping the batters: anything wide or into the pitch sits up. Thing is, Australia are now bowling at two set batters in nick and, when Duckett takes strike, he strokes through mid-on for four, then gets on top of one that leaps, cross-batting from above the shoulder, into the ground almost like a tennis shot and to the rope at midwicket. Fifteen off the over, Abbott’s five so far disappearing for 50, and Australia are in big trouble. Don’t laugh.

21st over: England 136-1 (Duckett 64, Jacks 45) Again, Marsh turns to Hardie, who has now bowled 63 spells in the innings; Jacks takes one to point, then Duckett stands and delivers, planting feet and waiting to lash through cover for four. And look at that, a slower one standing up and Duckett in no mood to miss out, on to it like me at a bag of McCoy’s chilli, humping hard to the fence at midwicket. Nine from the over, and if Australia can’t find something, they could be facing a monster – and we know how that can go.

20th over: England 127-1 (Duckett 56, Jacks 44) Abbott returns and begins with a leg-bye. Then, just as this looks like a tighter over, two singles the only addition to the scoring, the fifth ball goes for four leg-byes and a further single means it yields eight; australia badly need a wicket.

19th over: England 119-1 (Duckett 55, Jacks 42) England milk Zampa, who’s finding it hard – Duckett’s reverse-sweep gave him and Mitch Marsh something to think about because they now need to cover an area they thought they could ignore. So the first four balls of this latest over yield a two and three ones, then Jacks gets his front leg out of the road to muscle four down the ground; in comms, Wardy notes the difficulty of bowling to him, a man who wants to go downtown, and Duckett, eager to whack square. Nine off the over, and Australia are under pressure.

18th over: England 110-1 (Duckett 51, Jacks 37) Green returns and Jacks hoists his first delivery over midwicket for three, then Abbott does really well to scoop Duckett’s pull away from the fence as the batters run two. A single and two more twos follow, the second raising Duckett’s 50, an over that didn’t feel expensive going for 10.

“Do you think the Englush dressing room refer to our Mr Duckworth as ‘Ducky’?” returns Deano the Deanmeister.

I assume so, though fear we’ll never again enjoy the halcyon days of Cooky, Straussy, Trotty, KP-y, Colly, Belly, Matty, Brezzy, Swanny, Broady and Jimmy.

17th over: England 100-1 (Duckett 46, Jacks 32) In this next passage, I’d expect England to up the pressure on Australia’s young attack, and after Jacks takes one, Duckett is down the pitch and down on one knee to reverse-sweep Zampa for four; he really got hold of that. A one-hander for one follows, one more to Jacks raises the fifty partnership, and two more singles close out another good over for England; Zampa has gone for 18 in his two overs thus far.

16th over: England 91-1 (Duckett 40, Jacks 29) It’s a nice suffix, the “-o” on the end of things. In Ghana, if you’re especially grateful, you might say “Thank you-o” rather than just “Thank you”, which I reckon would work just as well with insults: “Your mum-o,” for example. Cricket, neologisms, it’s all going on here. And it’s all going on in the middle too, Hardie – back into the attack and the pick of the bowlers so far – rattling through another over for the cost of just two singles. That’s drinks, England going but not getting away.

15th over: England 89-1 (Duckett 39, Jacks 28) Zampa into the attack and this might be the key moment of the innings; England start well, Duckett turning to midwicket before Jacks extends arms and front leg to mash six down the ground. Two singles follow, and that’s nine off the over, the partnership 42 off 44.

14th over: England 80-1 (Duckett 37, Jacks 21) I know England are looking to the future – I’m enjoying it – but are we really saying Joe Root isn’t one of their best 50-over batters? I, for one, am not, now that you ask. I get leaving him out to prolong his Test career, if that’s what this is, but I still want him in my team, and I’m pretty sure he’d be good at milking Green, running in and bowling a tight line as I type. In the event, he cedes three singles garnished with consecutive wides, and Australia could really use another wicket.

“Hi Danno,” begins Deano Kinsella, and I can’t pretend this game of Australianising names isn’t appealing to me – I’m looking forward to Robbo Smyth taking over from me later on. “Sorry I’ve got to leave your OBO now. I have to drive down through Connemara on a beautiful sunny day. Anyone know if there’s a TMS link for the Englishman abroad please?”

Can anyone help, please? Poor old Deano sounds like he’s enduring a stinker here.

13th over: England 75-1 (Duckett 35, Jacks 20) Hardie returns, which makes sense – England struggled to get him away first up. And they’re still struggling now, Duckett walloping straight to cover when seeking the fence, three singles the only scoring shots.

12th over: England 72-1 (Duckett 33, Jacks 19) In comms, Broad is taken back to this day in 2007 – each delivery is better than the cream cardigan-coat job he now sports – noting that he might’ve escaped a no-ball . Meantime, back in the middle, Jacks zetzes Short’s first ball over cover for six and the addition of two ones and one two mean 10 off the over.

11th over: England 62-1 (Duckett 32, Jacks 10) Cameron Green into the attack and Jacks times a drive to mid-on, where Marsh intercepts on the dive. A further single follows, Jacks racing through as Duckett plays into the pitch, then another down the ground, and with this over yielding three, meaning five from the last two, Australia will be feeling better than 10 minutes ago.

10th over: England 59-1 (Duckett 31, Jacks 8) Time for some spin, Short into the attack, and some housekeeping: apparently, the email address at the top of the page was not, in fact mine, but Scott Murray’s. Please hit refresh and hit me up. Two off the over, and Australia needed that.

9th over: England 57-1 (Duckett 30, Jacks 7) A no-ball means a free-hit, and a high wide gives Jacks another go … and he doesn’t miss out, cudgelling down the ground for four. Two turned to square-leg follow, and that’s eight off the over, Australia now struggling to stem the flow of runs.

8th over: England 49-1 (Duckett 30, Jacks 1) Jacks shoves to mid-off and is off the mark.

8th over: England 48-0 (Salt 17, Duckett 30) Salt eases a single to backward point, then Duckett drops and runs for one more.

7th over: England 46-0 (Salt 16, Duckett 29) Half-batter down the ground earns four for Duckett, then a drag-down sits up and beseeches treatment, the batter obliging by carting over square-leg for four more. Two dots follow, but Duckett has his eye in now, the two final balls of the other also whacked to the fence, both at midwicket, making it four fours in the over; England are motoring now.

6th over: England 30-0 (Salt 16, Duckett 13) Ricky Ponting, you’ll be unsurprised to learn, does not enjoy Australia’s moustaches, but I guess they pass the time, and in Beardman, the squad now possesses the first facial hair superhero. The first five balls of Dwarshuis’ over yield a two and a one, but then Slat steps outside his crease looking for a boundary and chops an edge that races past the stumps and to the fence. Well though Australia have bowled, they’ve not made a breakthrough and the scoring-rate is steadily increasing.

5th over: England 23-0 (Salt 10, Duckett 12) Abbott replaces Hardie and Duckett steps into a decent drive only for the bowler to grab in follow-through. No matter: after a wide ball, another widish ball and he’s on to it in a trice, playing it down through cover for four, then after three dots, another cross-batter into the covers earns three. Eight off the over, the most expensive of the innings so far.

4th over: England 15-0 (Salt 10, Duckett 5) Which nation has the best gear? Australia’s is obviously iconic, but I’m not sure one can ever accept yellow trousers, so I guess I’m going for West Indies, not just because I want to post this Carl Hooper catch. Anyhow, back in the middle, Salt edges again and they take two to deep square, then two singles follow. This has been impressive from Australia’s two young quicks.

3rd over: England 11-0 (Salt 7, Duckett 4) Both these batters adore width, and Australia’s lines have been pretty straight so far. The over opens with three dots, then Duckett mistimes a drive through cover for two and does likewise next ball for a single, before Salt dabs into the same area and they add one more. Good start from Australia.

2nd over: England 7-0 (Salt 6, Duckett 1) The left-armer Dwarshuis will open from the other end, moustache bristling, and Salt applies a more central part of bat to his first two deliveries, then edges one that leaves him, the ball dropping short of slip thanks to his deployment of soft hands. But the next delivery is vintage Salt, flinging hands at a wider one to deposit four through cover, and Australia will know that’s exactly where not to bowl to him.

1st over: England 3-0 (Salt 2, Duckett 1) Bit of away-swing first up and Salt plays and misses outside off, then edges into the off-side for one looking to play to leg. Duckett, of course, introduces bat to ball immediately, tapping one to point then, facing the final delivery of the over, Salt again looks to turn around the corner, again edges, and the ball drops just short of the diving Smith at backward point and they run one.

Looking at these two batting lineups, the sense is that it should be impossible for either to be dismissed without someone doing something significant; well, here we go, Aaron Hardie with the ball and Phil Salt facing.

Archer tells Athers that he is sort of thinking about making the Ashes but the most important thing is today. He doesn’t know Brook well but says the new skip is a really nice guy and they’ve been chatting a lot this week.

Oh, Reece Topley is ill so Matt Potts plays.

Stuart Broad, dressed down in jacket-coat affair, rhapsodises Duckett who he thinks is now one of the best limited-overs players in the world. I’m looking forward to seeing how he, and the rest of England’s top four, do on a belter that comes with inviting short boundaries.

Full XIs to come, but Australia have had some illness in the camp and Glen Maxwell is missing.

Mitch Marsh says Australia would’ve bowled and that Benny Dwarshuis, “an incredible talent”, makes his d’boo. He’s trying to teach his players the importance of enjoying playing, especially in England where the crowds are big, then notes that Zampa, winning his hundredth ODI cap, is a “beautiful human being”. You’d take that as a reference, eh?

Toss time…

England are playing Australia #PeripateticLawnmower

Also, what is it with sport and banal, frequently hashtagged phrases that don’t actually make sense? Send in your favourites…

What’s the latest into autumn it’s acceptable to wear shorts? I’m a November or so man, but with the cricket going so deep, perhaps that needs revising down – or up – to December.

Cricinfo report that Phil Salt has presented Bethell with his England cap, so he’ll be making his debut today; lovely stuff.

If i’m not mistaken, this call comes from the Guardian’s Adam Collins. Imagine the aggro Worrall, in the process of converting from Australia to England, will get at the Gabba when – and it does feel like a when – he’s selected for an Ashes tour.

Of course there’s plenty more going on. England, captained by Harry Brook, are in transition, with Jacob Bethell a particularly tasty new option, while Australia also have various new and newish faces in their squad – most notably Mahli Beardman. Add to that the old rivalries, most notably Archer v Smith, and there’s plenty to distract us from whatever else we’re supposed to be doing.