It seemed fitting that Erling Haaland’s milestone should arrive from the only real moment of clarity in a mildly hallucinogenic first half during which the day seemed to lurch and swirl weirdly, red and blue shirts colliding and intersecting in the Manchester rain like a cloud of winter midges.
This was a gorgeous, muddy, angry mess of a football match. The crowd seemed constantly in the process of waving its fists in rage or shock. Both managers came dressed entirely in tight matt black and spent the afternoon whirling and crouching like a pair of furiously angry international jewel thieves.
Leandro Trossard picked up one of the dopiest second yellow cards you’re likely to see. The referee cleverly pre-assisted Arsenal’s opening goal, expertly pulling Kyle Walker out of position then restarting the game before he could get back. The second half saw Arsenal’s 10 men reincarnated as 2010 José Mourinho hate-ball, falling just short of a glorious defensive heist as John Stones made it 2-2 at the death.
In the middle of all this Haaland provided his own clear square of light in the process racking up his much-trailed 100th goal for City.
It was a lovely goal too, the geometry perfect, touch ruthless, all of it beautifully linear and simple. Here was a moment of perfectly packaged brand-building incision dished up for the largest global TV audience of the sporting weekend.
Savinho made it with a moment of craft, twirling deep on the right touchline, then surging inside in that starling pond-skater style. The run told Haaland where to move. And from there the goal arrived in two perfect touches.
First was the pass from Savinho, perfectly weighted and faded, a wonderful piece of calculus on the hoof. Haaland, who didn’t need to alter his stride, just nudged it sweetly with the outside of his foot into the near side of the goal as David Raya appeared in his eyeline, then kept on veering away toward the corner, an object moving through time and space on his own path, as he seems to have been right from his earliest days.
In the process Haaland equalled Cristiano Ronaldo’s Real Madrid record of 105 games to get to a century for a single club. It is an amazing numerical feat. But then Haaland’s numbers are always moreish and startling. Along the way he has four major trophies, 73 goals in 71 games in the league, and 14 assists, which is so-so, but more than some might expect.
And of course this avalanche of productivity has been accompanied by the most startling minimalism. Haaland’s 10 goals in the league this season have come from just 105 touches, an amazing, counter-intuitive, apparently impossible feat in a team that really, really wants to have all the touches.
But then Haaland is also a true original. There is often talk of how he’s getting better at dropping deep, about his movement allegedly creating so many chances for others. It doesn’t feel particularly true or even very necessary. Haaland is basically a brilliant simplification, a straight line to the most effective base element of how to be a footballer. Here is football in abridged form, a one-man short format.
There is no other modern elite footballer who just couldn’t ever play in any another position. Haaland on the wing, false nine, midfield? It’s not even worth imagining. Haaland said in an interview last season that he doesn’t actually know how to take a throw-in, and that just seems fine and completely right.
Two things spring from this. Are City genuinely a better team in his two and a bit years? The combination of that highly evolved possession team plus Haaland as the razor edge brought City their biggest prize. They are obviously different in their attacking rhythms and the concentrations of goals in one source.
And it remains the most unexpected turn that Haaland should become the tactical focus of a Guardiola team. This is a complete volte-face, the ultimate midfield stylist transformed into a devotee of the most utterly concentrated centre-forward the game is ever likely to see. Its like James Joyce finishing Ulysses and deciding to spend the next three years working on a book of knock-knock jokes.
Can he ever claim to be the best footballer in the world? The celebrity system, the numberwang elements of elite football will demand it. The other side of this is that while Haaland is all about the numbers, these are largely his numbers not yours. You won’t necessarily score more with him in the team. But the goals you get will be his, an expression of extreme clarity of thought and explosive athleticism as much as any other more artful qualities. At times it can feel a bit like watching someone break the world record at Tetris, or a man being really, really good at doing accounts.
What is certain is that Haaland is carrying City’s goalscoring threat right now. There is a narrowing here. But the system works. The numbers are still annihilatingly good. And this is now entirely his time.
