All over the place

Rohan Ricketts started out with Arsenal in 2001 and ended up playing in more countries than some people visit in a lifetime. Deals in Canada, Hungary, Moldova, Germany, Ireland, India, Ecuador, Thailand, Hong Kong and Bangladesh were steered over the line by his increasingly imaginative agent. The attacking midfielder had played once for the Gunners before a more notable three-season spell at Tottenham. There were loans around England with Coventry, Wolves, QPR and a full-time deal with Barnsley before his globetrotting commenced. In 2011 he won the Irish title with Shamrock Rovers, but Dacia Chisinau in Moldova was “an absolute nightmare … I never got paid”. In happier news he came off the bench for Shamrock Rovers to a warm reception at Tottenham in a 2011 Europa League tie. Exeter City and Leatherhead later appeared on Ricketts’ odyssey, although he stayed at the Grecians less than a month, eventually rounding things off with a spell at the gloriously obscure Canadian outfit Unionville-Milliken.

Space and time

Stefan Schwarz played in some exquisite locations. He began at Malmö, after a spell at Bayer Leverkusen’s academy, before heading for Portugal and turning out 77 times for Benfica in sun-dappled Lisbon between 1990 and 94. Schwarz signed for Bruce Rioch at Arsenal and played a campaign in mid-1990s London before moving to Tuscany and three seasons with Fiorentina in Serie A. Picturesque Valencia was next, halfway up Spain’s east coast, a short hop across the Med to Ibiza. Then Peter Reid came calling. Sunderland were evidently concerned about Schwarz attempting to escape: due to the Swedish midfielder’s stated desire to embark on a space flight, the club inserted a clause to void the player’s contract if he exited the earth’s atmosphere. Schwarz enjoyed success with Sunderland in the Premier League and made 62 appearances before being released in 2003, having reportedly fallen out with Reid, leaving alongside the infamously inept Frenchman Lilian Laslandes. Schwarz also scoops the Funniest Contract Clause Award.

(Relative) rags to riches

Hoffenheim, Hanover, Stoke. Joselu’s best days appeared behind him when he was bench-warming in the Potteries several seasons ago. After a loan at Deportivo he played two campaigns at Newcastle and three at Alavés before continuing to Espanyol, arriving there in 2022. A respectable career looked ready to wind down before Real Madrid swooped in June the following year. During an initial loan, the striker played a part in Madrid’s Champions League and La Liga triumphs and snaffled a place in Spain’s Euro 2024 squad. “When I was at Stoke, I don’t think any player there could imagine playing at Real Madrid,” he told Sid Lowe in April. “I never stopped dreaming.” The 34-year-old is currently turning out for Al-Gharafa in Qatar.

Journeyman’s journey

Dominic Iorfa retired in 2000, by which time the occasional Nigeria international had covered some serious ground. The 22 destinations packed into his career included five in his homeland, while Belgium, England, Turkey, Scotland, Hong Kong, China and Ireland also became stamps on his passport. Iorfa settled down at Peterborough long enough for 68 appearances and 10 goals. “Dominic was a lanky, speedy and hugely entertaining striker who was capable of outrageous moments,” says the Posh Supporters Trust. Waterford United, in 1999, benefited from the forward’s services for 24 matches, his second-longest stint at any club. Iorfa Sr’s son, Dominic, born in 1995, plays in defence for Sheffield Wednesday. He joined the Owls in 2019 and signed a new contract last summer, clearly failing to match Iorfa Sr’s wanderlust.

Chasing the sun

In 1998-99 Samuel Okunowo was battling Michael Reiziger for the right-back spot at Barcelona. Ten years later he was lining up for Waltham Forest in the ninth tier of English football. An unfortunate run of injuries can do that to a player. “Okunowo will become a huge attraction with Waltham Forest in the Ryman League Division One North,” reported Goal.com. “It is an incredible fall from the top.” But perhaps the most notable thing about Okunowo’s journey is in the coldest-to-hottest-location stakes. He was at Metalurh Donetsk in Ukraine from 2005-07 and after a loan at Stal Alchevsk, also in Ukraine, his next stop was VB Addu in the Maldives. Perhaps he felt some sunshine was in order after those harsh Ukrainian winters. Trials in Poland and Norway came after Waltham Forest, but no contract was forthcoming. As far as Google is concerned, Okunowo was last seen turning out for Barça Legends in Kinshasa in 2023.

Riches to rags

At the turn of the century Mário Jardel had the world at his feet. In four seasons at Porto he’d struck a phenomenal 169 goals, having begun his career with Vasco da Gama in his native Brazil. Galatasaray activated the striker’s release clause and he scored five goals on his Super Lig debut before tucking away a golden goal to beat Real Madrid in the 2000 Uefa Super Cup, and eventually harvesting 34 goals that season. Jardel returned to Portugal with Sporting, where he continued to score even more regularly, netting 42 league goals in 2001-02. But a move to Sam Allardyce’s Bolton sparked a flurry of unsuccessful stints across the globe as he never came close to recapturing his halcyon days. After Sporting, he played for no fewer than 14 clubs. Brief stints in Greece, Australia and Bulgaria featured as Jardel ploughed on until 2011. “In 2002 I overdosed on cocaine and was awake for seven days,” Jardel revealed in 2022, which may explain his lack of success at Bolton and beyond.

Home, sweet home

Darko Pancev arrived at Inter in 1992 as a bona fide goal machine. Across nine seasons in his native Yugoslavia he scored 193 times, including three prolific seasons leading the line for Red Star Belgrade between 1989 and 1992. But the wheels came off when he completed a prestigious move to Italy in the days when Serie A was the richest and best league in the world. He mustered only a handful of goals in three years at Inter and was loaned to Leipzig before similarly fruitless spells in Düsseldorf and Sion. “There are strikers who don’t run and there are strikers who run,” Pancev recalled of the criticism he received in Italy for a perceived lack of movement. “I was one of those strikers with a natural talent for scoring, and I ran only when I was within 30 metres of goal.”

Houston, we have a …

Cult hero Ade Akinbiyi was unfairly nicknamed “Ade AkinBadBuy” at one of his numerous clubs. There were 14 in total: Norwich, Hereford, Brighton, Gillingham, Bristol City, Wolves, Leicester, Crystal Palace, Stoke, Burnley, Sheffield United, Burnley again, Houston Dynamo, Notts County and Colwyn Bay. Aside from the final jaunt to Wales, Houston was the sole club outside England. The former Crystal Palace owner Simon Jordan recently spoke of his regret at agreeing to Trevor Francis’s idea to lure Akinbiyi to south-east London, where he scored three goals in 28 matches for the Eagles. Leaving aside the obvious Nasa-related gag, in 2009 the 34-year-old drew a blank in 14 MLS appearances for Houston and headed back to Blighty for a brief stay at Notts County before that final farewell in north Wales. Joking aside, Akinbiyi’s strength of character was never in doubt. “I always said I’d never hide,” he declared after a winner for Leicester against Sunderland in 2001.