RED ALERT
Razor’s header. That Steven Gerrard camera-smooch. Berbatov’s overhead kick. A red card for Gerrard. The return of Cantona. Carra’s comedy own goals. Mo Salah’s hat-trick. Premier League clashes between Liverpool and Manchester United have coughed up no end of memorable moments over the years although truth be told, Football Daily had completely forgotten most of the above and had to rely on a judicious Google of “Liverpool v Manchester United + classic moments” to clear that pea-soup of a fog from our long-addled brain. On Sunday afternoon the two sides are due to meet again in a top-flight match that remains the most eye-catching of the weekend, despite how far United have fallen since the halcyon days when Alex Ferguson knocked “Liverpool right off their effing perch”. Although it could be argued the Anfield outfit’s dead parrot tribute act was more to do with the departure of Kenny Dalglish than the arrival of his compatriot at Old Trafford.
These days, the shoe is very much on the other foot, what with Liverpool’s juggernaut apparently speeding inexorably towards the title, while United have been reduced to the status of laughing stock. Fourteenth in the league and run by a cabal of clueless charlatans who seem more obsessed with corner-cutting, world-class basics and bad optics than winning football matches, this once-proud club has plumbed the depths of on-field awfulness this season. Indeed, many of their own fans are predicting a shoeing of such magnitude when they visit Anfield that the great 7-0 gubbing of March 2023, which we do remember, will be considered one of this fixture’s particularly attritional battles.
So strongly are Liverpool fancied to win this game that one cheeky reporter asked their manager if he might view it as an opportunity to give some of his superstars a weekend off ahead of sterner challenges looming on the horizon. Lads, It’s Tottenham in the Milk Cup, for example, or Accrington Stanley the following weekend. “Of course, we won’t plan to rest players,” harrumphed Arne Slot. “For me, they have much better players than maybe the league table shows at the moment. It might take a while for Ruben Amorim to bring this out of the players, but they are much better than the league table shows.”
While most available evidence, not least that of the opening half-hour of their recent defeat at the hands of Newcastle, suggests that Amorim’s mob are well worth their lowly position, it would be foolish to completely write off their chances, even if most of their supporters – and some of their players – would probably bite Football Daily’s arm off at the shoulder if we offered them a 3-0 defeat right now. Despite being in a similar, albeit not-quite-as-bad funk under Erik ten Hag last season, United’s players somehow roused themselves to knock Liverpool out of the FA Cup and throw a spanner in the works of their title charge, before pulling out a miraculous performance few believed they had in them to beat Manchester City in the Cup final. Recent history has shown that somewhere inside this ragbag collective of misfits and has-beens lies a decent performance, although we’re unlikely to see one if Amorim revisits his recent wheeze of picking two old men who can no longer run to put a stop to one of the Premier League’s most rampant, effervescent midfields.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The second half starts well. We have really, really good momentum and then we give them one chance and they score. Right now, in some parts of the games, it’s not good enough. That’s why we don’t get the results” – Aberdeen manager Jimmy Thelin reacts after his side’s 2-1 home defeat by Ross County made it nine league games without a win. Thelin’s side, who began the season with 10 victories from 11 games, are now fourth with 10 victories from, er, 20 games.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
If Wayne Rooney is looking for a new managerial position, yesterday’s Football Daily list of his foibles presents no problem for my seven-a-side team. Hands-off at training? OK with us. We barely practice at all. Enthusiasm for the local nightspots? Hell, that’s most of the reason we sign up to play. And too much time travelling out of town to visit the family? Perhaps the maddening traffic in my Southern California neighbourhood could wean him from that habit. Come west, Wayne” – Mike Wilner.
I have said it before and I will die upon this hill: Wayne Rooney’s actual future was foretold in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s 2010 World Cup ‘Write the Future’ Nike commercial, where instead of a clean tackle on Franck Ribéry, Rooney was shown a straight red for scything him down. I give Wazza five more years before he’s chalking lines on a lower-division pitch somewhere gloomy. See you in 2030” – Daniel Stauss.
If the darts scoreboard in yesterday’s Memory Lane picture (full email edition) is anything to go by, both players are at least 27 darts in and still going. The already doubtful wisdom of standing so close to the board, as many of the Spurs players are, feels less like a well-thought-out approach and more like foolhardy risk-taking. Tottenham Hotspur are currently managed by Ange Postecoglou” – Mike Slattery.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Daniel Stauss. Terms and conditions for our competitions – when we have them – can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
Stop what you’re doing and check out this flamin’ added-time winner from Jordan Lauton for Western United against Perth Glory in the A-League Men. Trailing 2-1 after 90 minutes, Western United equalised through Tate Russell before Lauton’s spectacular bicycle kick won it for the visitors, prompting wild celebrations and a second booking for the 21-year-old. “He apologised for taking off his top and getting sent off,” grinned boss John Aloisi. “I said: ‘When you score goals like that, you probably can take off your top.’”
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