Tonight's return of the Apprentice has got the Mill feeling all decisive this morning. No time for schmoozers and time-waster here, we want answers and we want them now.
First up; who really is the greatest of all time, Maradona or Pele? This debate has been rumbling for far too long now. Diego, you're fired! Yeah, yeah, second goal against England, winning title with Napoli, we know all that, but what has he given us since then except the sight of a bloated Argentinian with dodgy hair? Nothing, that's what. Pele, you're hired! The Brazilian knows that greatness does not end with retirement. Oh no. Long after he packed the boots away, Edison Arantes do Nascimento has kept on giving and the Mill for one can't get enough. First there was Escape to Victory, then the claim that Nil Lamptey was going to become one of the greatest footballers of all time and now the allegation that Robinho once had a "problem" with drugs. Problem with drugs?! This from a man who once advertised Viagra. Surely a case of stones and glasshouses Edison.
But the Mill is not complaining, far from it, as now we have the very real possibility of two of Brazil's most gifted footballers facing-off in front of a jury in the not so distant future.
"If Pele does not come forward with a formal retraction, he will have to deal with this very unfortunate comment in court," reads a statement on Robinho's website.
Next up is Sir Alan's task; take charge of a football club run by a rich Russian and a hobbit-like Mancunian and try to keep your job longer than it takes the Mill to shout 'Mateja Kezman'. Jose, Avram and Felipe all ended up in the boardroom before departing in a black cab and now Guus is having a go. He, though, apparently has no intention of becoming the long-term team leader and so other candidates are being sought to step forward.
Hello Carlo. This tubby grey-haired Italian has worked wonders at Amstrad's branch in Milan but is now looking for a change and, despite the lack of job security, is apparently tempted by the company's opening in west London.
"I won't be in Milan forever," he said yesterday, soon after admitting he had met Roman Abramovich last May. "An agent told Milan and the club's vice-president Adriano Galliani said to me 'Carlo you've been naughty'". Oh do stop.
And finally a recruitment dilemma. You've employed someone at great expense but changes in the management structure mean he is no longer seen as the go-to man. Do you:
A: Give him another chance to prove his worth.
B: Demote him from his current post but keep him around, you know, to make the tea and stuff.
C: Sell Roman Pavlyuchenko in the summer and buy Diego Milito from Genoa for £10m.
Sadly for that other Russian called Roman, the last option appears to be the most likely outcome if today's red-tops are to believed. But this after all is Tottenham, where Sir Alan once ruled supreme. No one is allowed to fester here. The search for Robbie Keane's apprentice continues.
But while Pavlyuchenko appears destined for a move away, Didier Drogba is seemingly ready to commit the rest of his career to Chelsea. "If Chelsea present a new proposition then we will study it and after that he will make a decision on his future," the Ivorian's adviser Thierno Seydi is quoted as saying. It is hard to know what either Guus or Carlo would make of such a development considering Drogba has been as useful as a paper-jam in a photocopier (is it possible this Apprentice thing is being stretched too-far?) for most of the season.
If Drogba does stay he could well be joined at Stamford Bridge next year by any number of imports if today's online gossip is to be believed, including Wagner Love, Karim Benzema and Dani Alves.
Add your own rumours below
