Manchester United could be eight points off the pace by the end of the weekend should they lose this one. And seeing they've only won once at Ewood Park in their last eight visits, that's not beyond the realms of possibility. Still, United fans can take heart: you're hardly struggling like Bayern Munich, and us making a big song and dance over your slightly lethargic start should ensure you being 4-0 up by half time.

Blackburn Rovers: Brown, Ooijer, Samba, Nelsen, Olsson, Emerton, Kerimoglu, Warnock, Pedersen, Derbyshire, Roque Santa Cruz.
Subs: Bunn, Mokoena, Andrews, Villanueva, Fowler, Treacy, Roberts.

Manchester United: Van der Sar, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Ronaldo, Fletcher, Anderson, Giggs, Berbatov, Rooney.
Subs: Amos, Park, Nani, Rafael Da Silva, O'Shea, Evans, Tevez.

Funny flower, collapsing car, lots of handkerchiefs tied together coming out of a top hat, etc: Steve Bennett (Kent).

Kick off, by the way, is at: 5.30pm. It's raining. The nights are fair drawing in. And there's quite a nip in the air.

Setanta professionalism: Steve McManaman has just been giving his opinion, presumably about this match, though I can't be sure, I wasn't paying attention. That hardly makes me unique: when the camera cut back to anchorman Angus Scott, he appeared to be checking his mobile phone for text messages! Can you not even pretend to be interested, man?!? You wouldn't catch Richard Keys fiddling around with his Nokia on Sky while Andy Gray ballses on. Though in fairness he won't want to be drawing attention to his hands.

Weather update: It is now absolutely thrashing it down.

And we're off! There's an ostentatiously friendly pre-match handshake between Paul Ince and Sir Alex Ferguson, and the ball is set rolling. "In today's Guardian, the Premier League's first British black manager claims that, the last time they met, the Premier League's first British red-and-purple manager 'drank all [his] red wine'," writes Mac Millings. "He doesn't just mean 'all' as in 'the whole bottle', does he?" Yes, Mac. Our lawyers would like to point out that yes, yes he does.

45 secs: Warnock is down and looking none too clever, having slid in for a challenge on Brown and gone over on his knee. He's looking very shaky and might not continue. Also suffering from pain thanks to Manchester United is Gary Naylor. "It's not just the marketing machine that sells Manchester United shirts nationwide," he writes. "My seven-year-old has just refused to wear an Everton top to play football with his friends because, 'they'll all laugh at me'. If he was wearing a Newcastle top, the parents would too."

3 min: Ronaldo tears down the left and lays the ball off to Berbatov, whose attempt at a return pass is insouciance crystallised. It is also a textbook example of uselessness. As Samba spirits the ball away, Ronaldo stands around waving his arms in semaphore shapes.

5 min: Warnock is back on but currently doing his level best not to get involved in the action. Tugay is, as a result, running around like a lunactic, making sliding challenges hither and yon. He's running that injury off, let's give him the benefit of the doubt.

7 min: That should have been 1-0 to United. Ooijer concedes a corner out on the United left after pipping Ronaldo to a through ball. Rooney whips in a low, hard corner which should be cleared by two Blackburn shirts but isn't, and Vidic misses the ball from four yards with a clumsy lunge. If he'd gone in with his head rather than poking out a boot, he would surely have scored.

9 min: Santa Cruz latches onto a huge up-and-under, hangs around for a bit, then rolls it out left to Pedersen. The resulting cross is deep and harmless, though if Rovers had committed some men forward it could have caused some trouble, as Van der Sar was never getting to it. As it is, the keeper can scuttle off after the ball and tidy up.

11 min: Blackburn win a corner after some good work by Santa Cruz down the left. Emerton swings one in to the far post, but Van der Sar is adjudged to have been impeded and the danger is gone. A reasonably lively end-to-end start, here.

13 min: From the sublime to the ridiculous from Pedersen there: he starts off a wonderful flowing move with an exquisite chipped pass from the left wing inside to Derbyshire, then ends it seconds later when he receives the return and passes the ball out of play in the most needless fashion imaginable.

14 min: That should have been the opener for Blackburn. Emerton slides a fantastic ball down the inside right channel into the box, springing Derbyshire free. His shot across the keeper towards the bottom-left corner is saved by Van der Sar, but only pushed out towards the penalty spot. With the keeper prone, Santa Cruz rushes in to slam the ball home, but Ferdinand gets there first, sliding across the turf and hooking clear. This game really should be 1-1.

18 min: Blackburn are definitely enjoying the better of this. Santa Cruz and Pedersen link well down the left before losing the ball. Rooney takes up play but almost immediately concedes possession, allowing first Warnock and then Derbyshire half-chances to shoot for goal. Both times United make the crucial block, but how long United can hold out playing like this is open to question.

20 min: Now it's United's turn to squander a glorious opportunity. Fletcher is this time the culprit, cutting in from the left to get on the end of a beautifully weighted pass by Berbatov which springs the Blackburn back line and sees the midfielder bearing down on goal. But he drags his shot wide right of goal. That was an awful miss.

24 min: Emerton has a dig from 25 yards out, very centrally. It's always going wide left of goal, and in any case Van der Sar has it covered.

26 min: Ronaldo releases Giggs down the left but there's nobody other than Rooney to get on the end of the cross he sends into the centre, and he's being superbly marshalled by Samba and Nelsen. Meanwhile someone called Shaun writes in "from a sickeningly balmy Spain. One thing intrigues me about Paul Ince not having his Uefa coaching 'badges'. What do these look like? I mean, are they sew-on or small and shiny with a safety pin? And shouldn't managers have to wear them, just so we can sure?" They could also be shiny and made of foil with sticky backs, like the club ones from Panini Football 81.

29 min: Pedersen gives the ball away on the edge of his own area, allowing United to showcase some Arsenalesque skills. Instead of shooting the ball into the net, Rooney, Giggs, Ronaldo and Berbatov all take turns to attempt to walk it into the net. The bedlam looks impressive but there was no way they were getting past all the Blackburn defenders there.

31 min: GOAL!!! Blackburn 0-1 Manchester United. Jason Brown in the Blackburn goal makes a spectacular flying save from Giggs, who shoots from the left, just inside the area, but sees his shot fingertipped adroitly over the bar. That's where the young keeper's luck runs out, though, as he comes for the resulting corner, doesn't get there, and his namesake Wes heads home from three yards into an empty net. However there's no little controversy, Vidic going up with Brown, putting his right arm across the keeper and skittling him over. You usually see those decisions given in favour of the keeper, so Blackburn are within their rights to be totally radged off there.

34 min: Another wonderful save from Brown, who comes out to close down the free Rooney, sticking up an arm and parrying the striker's clever dink. That should have been 2-0, so credit to the keeper there. Meanwhile Louise Smith has had enough of watching United and has gone into meltdown: "C-Ron has a face like a smacked arse again, now he's playing next to Berbatov it's like watching the cast of EastEnders for sheer mardiness. Has there ever been a sulkier bunch of multi-millionaires being asked to do what they love for 90 minutes a week?"

38 min: This is suddenly all United. Blackburn look a bit shellshocked, and this after being the better side for the first half hour. You can't really blame them, as it's not often you see keepers being bowled over without the whistle going. Might be an idea to try to see this one out to half time, when they can regroup. "Your photos say it all," writes Justin Kavanagh, placing a wee bit too much importance on our Will-This-Do approach to Photoshop. "While other managers get silly shirts printed up, Ferguson, the great method manager of our time, slowly takes on his club's demonic red hue, while turning others' wine into water."

41 min: Santa Cruz has a lunge at a deep cross from the right wing from Emerton, but Ferdinand eases him out of the road and the ball flies harmlessly through the box and away to safety. Blackburn are suddenly impotent, United increasingly impressive.

44 min: Rooney and Ronaldo exchange a couple of one-twos as the work the ball from the centre of the park, in front of the Rovers box, out right. Brown cuts inside and whips in a cross which Rooney meets at the near post - but he heads well wide.

HALF TIME: Blackburn Rovers 0-1 Manchester United. Evra ends the half by breaking free down the left and pulling a ball back from the byline to Ronaldo, six yards out. He should score, but doesn't, stubbing his effort wide. And with that the whistle. Ince and Pedersen both approach referee Steve Bennett demanding answers, and no wonder: Vidic edged out Jason Brown for sure.

And we're off again! Blackburn took an age to come out, keeping United waiting in the torrential rain. Eventually everyone arrives; it's as we were during the first half, as no substitutions have been made. Immediately, Warnock drives forward straight down the centre, exchanges passes with Santa Cruz, then sends the striker free in the area. The ball sends him out wide left but he gets a decent shot in, forcing Van der Sar to parry the ball round his post. The corner is wasted, but that's better from Blackburn already.

47 min: Not for the first time in the match, Ooijer blocks Ronaldo off with a shoulder. The winger writhes around on the floor like his brain is about to ooze out of every facial aperture, stops grimacing for a bit to argue with Tugay, who suggests he should get up, then starts clutching his head again just as the ref comes across. There's to be no yellow for Ooijer, though, which is just as well as little contact had been made. Expect this to run and run.

49 min: Vidic purls a lovely ball straight down the centre. If Ronaldo had controlled the ball, he'd have been free one on one with Jason Brown. But he isn't able to bring it down and a decent chance is gone.

50 min: Santa Cruz, who looks to have a hamstring injury, hobbles off and is replaced by Roberts.

53 min: Ronaldo cuts inside from the left, works a second's worth of space to get a shot in, but can only hammer it straight at Nelsen from the edge of the area. Blackburn can't get the ball at the moment.

55 min: Emerton releases Derbyshire down the right. He's got plenty of time to get in a decent cross, but the ball that's sent across is worse than hopeless, sailing over the entire box and bouncing harmlessly away.

57 min: This is all United, though they aren't making much of their possession.

58 min: Ronaldo takes down a spectacular crossfield pass from Anderson. He hares towards the Rovers box but is hauled back by the referee, who claims handball. That's another ridiculous decision: Ronaldo took that down fantastically well with his chest. Pedersen is replaced by Keith Treacy.

61 min: Blackburn just can't get the ball at all.

62 min: Sod this, there's nothing happening at all. Here, does anybody remember the Everton replica strip travails of a certain young Mr Naylor? "If Gary Naylor's 7-year-old (I'm assuming grandchild) is embarrassed at wearing an Everton shirt (45 sec)," begins Mac Millings, clearly in the mood to fling around delicious insults, "then perhaps Grandpa Nayls should let the kid have that Cahill shirt he's been asking for, rather than forcing him to choose between the first-edition Dixie Dean heavy-knit, rain-soaked sweater and the tight 'n' tiny Andy Gray 80s nightclub vest."

63 min: GOAL!!! Blackburn Rovers 0-2 Manchester United. Something's happened now. And it was so simple, but perfectly executed. Ronaldo draws Olsson out right, edges a pass from Brown past him and sprints clear. He immediately whips a cross into the centre for Rooney, who is standing on the spot and hooks a wonderful first-time effort into the top-left corner of the net. This is over.

65 min: Giggs takes his leave, to be replaced by Tevez.

67 min: Dear Lord, it is tipping down. This is biblical. United win a corner, Brown takes another header at goal, but the effort is nowhere near on target.

68 min: Tugay is replaced by Keith Andrews.

70 min: A terrible square pass in front of the Rovers area by Rooney allows Treacy to tear down the left at speed. He's eventually upended by Fletcher, who is rightly booked for his trouble. There was no need to lunge in, either, because Treacy had no support.

72 min: O'Shea comes on for Evra. Blackburn waste their free kick. Rooney chases after a long ball up the other end and scoops it over the advancing Brown - but his effort is too well cooked and lands on the roof of the net.

73 min: Blackburn have fallen to bits at the back. A pathetically poor Samba backpass is latched onto by Berbatov. He surely should round the keeper and score, but Jason Brown is out speedily and manages to smother at his feet. A wonderful save.

75 min: Nelsen goes up for a cross in the Rovers area. Rooney is convinced it hit his hand and goes haring after the referee. He's getting nothing, which is just, as Nelsen chested it down though it momentarily brushed the top of his sleeve afterwards. That would have been a very harsh penalty.

77 min: Anderson bursts skilfully down the inside-right channel and unleashes a wonderful shot which is first deflected then pushed wide of the right-hand post by Jason Brown, who has been excellent tonight. Rooney goes off for the oncoming Park. The corner is a complete waste of time.

79 min: It would make for an interesting final few minutes should Rovers score, but I can't see it. Roberts, Emerton and Warnock stream forward: there are options down the right but the ball is witlessly shanked out of play.

80 min: Emerton has a shot from just outside the area. It's blocked but spoons up in the air. Any chance of applying pressure is immediately eschewed by Roberts, who instead of challenging Vidic for the ball elects to shove his opponent in the back in the most obvious of manners.

81 min: Ronaldo has a dig from just outside the Rovers box, but he drags his shot well wide left.

84 min: Three on two, Tevez has an easy chance to spring Ronaldo free on goal 40 yards out, but he holds on to the ball too long, then tries to feed Berbatov instead. The ball is way to heavy and mopped up by Blackburn with ease. That was very poor football.

86 min: Samba is booked for a lunge on Tevez. It was mistimed, not malicious, but a nailed-on booking.

87 min: Tevez hits the base of the right-hand post. This ceased to be a contest the minute the first goal went in.

89 min: From a corner on the right, Samba meets an Edwards cross. It's half a chance but his powerful effort is miles over the bar and wide.

90 min: Warnock swings a cross from the left. Derbyshire meets it with his head six yards out, but flicks his header over the bar. And he was offside. There are going to be three more minutes of this.

FULL TIME: Blackburn Rovers 0-2 Manchester United. Roberts has a chance to sprint clear but the ball is held up on the by-now-waterlogged pitch; Vidic clears up. Then Treacy has a potshot but it's dragged wide. And then the referee blows his whistle. It's all over. United definitely deserved their win - they dominated proceedings - but would Blackburn, decent until the opener, have kept it up had Steve Bennett ruled out Wes Brown's goal, as he should have? Probably not, now I come to think about it, no.