Preamble: Hello there. I'm not going to go all Richard Keys on you and pretend that Everton v Middlesbrough is a red-hot feast of football that will come to define this and every Premier League season. It's not. However, with Everton stringing together three wins in a row and Middlesbrough picking up an impressive win at Villa Park last week, there is the potential for more entertainment here than with some other games this week.
The race for fifth (actually, who am I kidding, sixth): In a Premier League table that is tighter than an indie kid's trousers, after a bad start Everton are threatening to break away from the bottom 13. A win today and they will be just two points off Arsenal in fourth and, more importantly, they won't be one defeat from the relegation zone like over half the teams in the division. Middlesbrough aren't doing too shabby themselves, a win would put them above Everton, level with sixth placed Hull. There couldn't be more to play for, perhaps.
The teams: Everton: Howard, Neville, Yobo, Jagielka, Lescott, Arteta, Fellaini, Cahill, Osman, Yakubu, Saha. Subs: Nash, Hibbert,
Baines, Castillo, Vaughan, Pienaar, Anichebe.
Middlesbrough: Turnbull, Hoyte, Riggott, Pogatetz, Taylor,
O'Neil, Digard, Arca, Downing, Alves, Sanli. Subs: Jones, Emnes,
Adam Johnson, Wheater, Franks, Grounds, Walker.
Referee: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire)
First email of the day: Is from Mr. Ali Narbar, who is offering me the chance to split the $18m he has just come into as he needs a UK bank account to transfer it to. What a lovely man. He fails to mention how he thinks Yakubu will get on against his former club or, in fact, his views on any aspect of the Premier League. If I was a more cynical man I would suspect he's not even going to be following my updates.
Sky are just running us through every meeting between Everton and Middlesbrough since football was invented in 1992. While that attitude stinks it is nice to see Neville Southall sprawled on the ground in his classic NEC sponsored goalkeeping top. Surely the classic Everton shirt, or am I just showing my age? If I had my way Liverpool would still be sponsored by Candy and Manchester United shirts would forever say 'Sharp'.
"Is the second e-mail of the day from Keith Harris offering you the chance to buy a Merseyside based Premier League club from a theatrical entrepreneur?" Asks Gary Naylor. No Gary, it's from you.
We are go, go, go! Everton kick off in the usual fashion, shooting right to left in blue shirts that should say NEC on them. Middlesbrough are not throwing any surprises my way with red the order of the day.
1 min Fellaini crosses for Leon Osman but he is, unsurprisingly, too short to out jump Pogatetz.
3 min Yakubu drops off and finds some space in front of the Middlesbrough defence. He uses this space to dawdle on the ball for what feels like a lifetime until Digard comes to take it off him.
5 min I'll be honest, this isn't great so far. Though if you like misplaced passes then you would be loving it. Osman tries to get the ball into the box but it deflects off Taylor for a corner. The corner hasn't reached the box before Howard Webb blows for pushing.
GOAL!!!!!! Gary O'Neil 8 min (Everton 0-1 Middlesbrough) Stewart Downing breaks after an Everton attack breaks down and cuts inside. He exchanges passes with Tuncay before laying the ball wide to Gary O'Neil, who couldn't have more space if he was sat in the stands at the JJB Stadium. He steadies himself and places the ball inside the near post.
10 min If anyone is to blame for that goal it is Lescott, who drifted in from left back that I can only presume he was nipping across to continue a dressing room chat with Phil Neville on the other side of the pitch. Everton need to settle down here, they have yet to really put anything together.
12 min As I write that Saha flicks on a long ball for Yakubu, who muscles out Pogatetz but shoots straight at the advancing Turnbull when through on goal.
15 min Osman makes a bit of space on the right and whips the ball across, just an inch or so above the head of Louis Saha. Everton are starting to play a bit now.
17 min "Surely Liverpool shirts should forever feature 'Crown Paints' Josh? And Everton 'Hafnia'. Which, according to Four Four Two was a type of corned beef," writes Cian Rice. I'll give you Crown Paints Cian, but you'll have to do better than Hafnia.
20 min Everton are getting a lot of the ball but there doesn't mean they are doing anything with it. A lack of urgency and movement on show. Middlesbrough seem pretty comfortable so far.
21 min Well that was bizarre. Lescott attempts to cross from the left but manages instead to lob the ball over Turnbull and onto the inside of the far post. Turnbull looks bemused as the ball bounces out to Fellaini on the edge of the six yard box. However, his volley is blocked from point black range by Pogatetz.
23 min Middlesbrough need to watch out here, Everton are starting to find a lot of room on the right. This time the overlapping Lescott's cross fails to find a blue shirt in the box.
26 min The ball is again worked out to Lescott on the left but he can't beat Hoyte and it goes behind for a corner. Arteta picks out Jagielka on the near post but his flicked header goes behind for a goal kick.
28 min Middlesbrough's first attempt at a corner comes to nothing, which makes it as good a time as any to publish this from Gary Naylor: "Why are so many corners so poor? Do players practise taking them on the training ground? They certainly don't in the warm-up, during which penalties are never practised either. Surely it's worth spending five minutes on each set-piece prior to the kick-off?"
31 min Fellaini flicks the ball down to Yakubu who races to the ball ahead of Turnbull and is brought down. Appeals for a corner, but for some reason a corner is awarded. A corner that Cahill heads over.
34 min A corner on the right for Everton now. It's played short to Phil Neville who crosses for Yobo - charging in late - to head over. At the other end Alves is dispossessed at the last by Jagielka.
35 min Appeals for handball as Arteta chips the ball into Hoyte's stomach from a yard. "If I was a typically bitter Aston Villa fan I would say something like 'Middlesborough's win was impressive if you are impressed by the ability of a team to take advantage of ridiculous back passes to steal victories in the last few minutes of a match.' But I am not bitter, the Villa beat the Arsenal yesterday and I still haven't landed back on terra firma yet!" writes George Templeton with joy in his heart.
38 min Lescott is essentially playing on the left wing at the moment, and he is getting more of the ball than anyone else. He is yet to do anything with it though. "You have high standards - I don't suppose Danka (the Danish for thank you?) would do it?" Asks Cian Rice, who for some reason really hates the NEC Everton kit. "Alternatively, Sheffield Wednesday were once sponsored by Chuppa Chups," he adds. That, was indeed a great sponsor Cian. Memories.
40 min Alves is muscled out by Yobo as he chases the ball over the top. He is getting in behind the Everton defence regularly but the ball is just not falling for him so far today.
42 min Middlesbrough counter attack when Digard dispossesses Cahill but he chooses the wrong ball and the move fizzles out with Downing shooting into the crowd. At the other end Cahill finds himself unmarked six yards out from a corner but heads wide. Everton's best chance by a distance.
44 min We've got three added minutes according to the digital board.
45+1 min Pogatetz flails an arm into Arteta, that if it had made better contact could have lead to at least a yellow card. As is, it was just a free kick.
Peep! And that is half-time. Boro lead and they deserve to, holding Everton at bay and looking threatening on the break.
What's Moyes going to do with this one? "4-1-3-1-1 please," writes Gary Naylor without any real explanation. We'll see in the second half, which I will be back for in five minutes.
Today's grievance: The kettle on the second floor of Guardian Towers not only takes forever to boil but it starts making boiling sounds after about 20 seconds, so as to get your hopes up. Why? WHY?!
And we're away again No changes from either side. "How many teams have finished in the top 10 of the Premiership that have gotten more points on the road than at home?" Asks George Templeton in an email I think he probably meant to send to knowledge@theguardian.com. Or does anyone else know?
47 min Everton with the early possession and Lescott forces a corner which is cleared by Middlesbrough.
48 min Everton get a free kick about 35 yards out on the left but Arteta hits it over the sea of heads in the penalty area and out for a goal kick.
50 min Pogatetz and Riggott both knocked to the ground in pain in consecutive challenges from the Everton strikers. They pick themselves up and dust themselves off though.
52 min Cahill beats O'Neil on the left who brings him down. Before the kick can be taken Wheater is introduced for Riggott (injury not tactical presumably). The ball is cleared and Boro counter attack, Downing in space on the left cuts it back to Arca on the edge of the area but his left foot shot goes over the bar.
54 min Turnbull scuff a clearance behind for another Everton corner which Pogatetz heads clear. "The last I heard, 'Danka!' was definitely not Danish for 'Thank you!'," writes Fred Lane from Sweden. "Pogatetz appears to be something of a danka, mind." ZING!
57 min Osman and Hoyte go up for a high ball on the edge of the Middlesbrough box. The ball bobbles down and Osman is quickest on it but his shot is straight at Turnbull.
59 min The return of this fixture is on Boxing Day Martin Tyler tells us, before adding "if you want to do any Christmas shopping". If any of my relatives are reading, please do not get me tickets for that one as a gift. Or indeed a punishment.
61 min Taylor has a strike from 35 yards out. If I was to tell you it was anything less than embarrassing I would be compromising my journalistic integrity.
63 min Phil Neville races down the left and is played in by Arteta. His first time cross finds Louis Saha who heads just wide. That's more like it from Everton.
GOAL! Everton 1-1 Middlesbrough (Yakubu 65 min) The game's first booking. Digard slices down Arteta as they race for the ball down the Middlesbrough right. Arteta swings in the free kick low, hard and whipped towards goal. It deflects off Yakubu's shoulder and past Turnbull.
68 min Suddenly everyone is a lot more vocal at Goodison Park, but it is Middlesbrough who attack. The ball is played back to Digard on the edge of the Everton box and his low shot is scrambled onto the post by Howard, who saw it very late. Meanwhile there's a booking for Pogatetz and Johnson comes on for Arca. It's all go.
70 min Arteta and Tuncay each have a go at overhitting through balls, both quite successfully it has to be said.
72 min Everton substitution. Pienaar for Osman.
74 min Johnson wins the ball and races through on the break. He's brought down by Fellaini and the quick free kick is played to Downing who shoots high and wide from distance.
76 min Fellaini has a shot into the crowd from a long way out now. The long shots from both sides have been terrible today.
77 min Saha knocks the ball down to Yakubu who finds space to shoot from the right side of the penalty area. But with time to set himself he screws the shot across goal and into the corner flag.
79 min "If yhe evidence of today is anything to go by, Arsenal are coming back to the pack, rather than the pack catching up with Arsenal. This is not a good Everton team, yet the league position says it is," writes Gary Naylor and he has a point. Though I don't think there is much chance Everton will be close to Arsenal by the end of the season.
81 min It's mainly Everton at the moment and as the commentary team keep emphasising Everton have a habit of scoring late goals. Lescott hits a cross into the crowd behind the goal.
83 min Everton are trying to work the ball through and failing. Middlesbrough are just hoofing it clear, though they are succeeding in that. Emnes comes on for Alves.
85 min Anichebe replaces Cahill to a smattering of applause.
86 min I'm going to tempt fate and say this is petering out somewhat, which it is.
88 min Lescott loops the ball towards Pienaar who is out-jumped predictably, but it really is unthreatening stuff from Everton who have no urgency at all. Vaughan replaces Yakubu.
89 min Saha has held the ball up excellently today, but he hasn't received too much support. Middlesbrough break but Jagielka takes the ball off Tuncay's toe as he is about to play in Emnes.
90+1 min Three minutes of injury time and I'm going to stick my neck out on the draw.
Peep peep peeeeep! Yep, no more chances to be had today. It finishes level, which is just about fair enough I would say. Everton dominated the second half but didn't create enough clear-cut chances to have much complaint about the result.
That's about it at Goodison Park, but don't worry there are more minute-by-minute thrills to be had with Rob Smyth's coverage of Hull v Man City. Cheers for all your emails, bye.
