Peterborough midfielder Tom Williams must be so proud. "People think glamour models are slags," chirrups his fiancée and sometime Page 3 model Nicola McLean this morning, drumming up publicity ahead of her appearance in I'm a Celebrity ... If you were expecting her to reject that suggestion, you would be wrong. "I like lesbians," continues our publicity-hungry hero. "If there is a lesbian in the jungle then I wouldn't mind giving her a go."
The Mill, of course, is not a celebrity - not even in our own house - but would really quite like it if someone would get us out of here before Liverpool ruin the entire month of January by talking loudly about how much they want to sign Gareth Barry. Frankly Rafael Benítez's reported interest in out-of-contract Stephen Appiah is far more interesting.
It surely won't be long before newly-retired Andy "Andrew" Cole feels the need to boost his own media profile with an appearance on some manner of degrading televised farce (probably Football on Five). In the meantime he's happy enough to pontificate loudly on what other people should do with their careers - today insisting that Carlos Tevez is better off on the Manchester United bench than he would be starting for any other club. Presumably Mr Cole didn't realise Barcelona have now joined Real Madrid in expressing an interest.
Liverpool's Jermaine Pennant has been hoping to get out of Liverpool for some time now, but may find he has to sit out the remaining six months of his contract unless he's willing to reduce his wage demands. Bolton, Wigan, Blackburn and Stoke have all been spotted gazing lovingly in Pennant's direction recently, but word has it none of them are ready to cough up £50,000 per week.
Elsewhere, Internazionale manager Jose Mourinho apparently failed to learn his lesson the first time he signed Florent Malouda, Tottenham want to replace goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes already with Zenit St Petersburg's Vyacheslav Malafeev, and Steve Bruce will be made to pay £10m for Ecuador striker Christian Benítez - unless he's a Daily Mail reader, in which case he gets a £2m discount.
