It's always a strange feeling when a long-lost loved one returns to the Mill. Yes, there's the joy of their company again, the mystery of where they've been as you study the lines on their face, but then there's also the sense of betrayal: all that time away and not even a mention on Page 49 of Tuesday's Star. Still, seeing as it's Nigel Quashie that's back, we'll let him off. He's thinking of making his loan move to Birmingham City permanent.
Over at Sunderland, Roy Keane has been surfing YouTube for clips from seminal Ted Danson-vehicle Becker - it ran for 129 episodes despite not containing a single joke, just like this etc - and accidentally came across footage of Man United pipsqueak Danny Welbeck and a related video of Wel Hard Chavs Fighting LOL!!!!!!!!! Now Roy wants to take him on loan for the rest of the season.
Aidy Boothroyd and Iain Dowie are both in need of jobs, so sensibly have gone to the Guardian Jobs site. Unfortunately all they found was various lefty do-gooder posts - clog-maker, lentil immersion tank therapist: that kind of rubbish - so they had a wee peep at the Mirror's Sport pages instead and found out they're being linked with the Swindon job. Time to get those clogs ready, boys.
Dowie's old club, QPR, are involved in a bit of gossip of their own. They've got approximately five trillion behind them and they'll use some of that to pay for Elano's Megabus ticket down from Manchester. As long as they can get one of the cheap tickets, otherwise Mark Hughes can go to eff.
Andrea Dossena. Just look at him. I mean, really. Anyway, Rafa Benítez has decided to cut his losses and will usher him towards the Harry Kewell Memorial Do One Door. Dossena will be sold to Roma in January for £5m, with Rafa using the money to buy absolutely no one because these are tough times we're living in, in case you hadn't noticed.
Gary Megson has woken up with a craving for a Dutch player with a slightly amusing name. Jaap van der Biiscits is unavailable though, so he'll have to sign Swansea's Ferrie Bodde for £2m instead.
And in other news: Chelsea are being affected by the credit so forth as much as anyone else and they can't afford to sign Norwich keeper Jed Steer; Jose Mourinho is making vague sounds about signing Carlos Tevez, although they're so vague that he could have been talking about making a bid for big-boned MP Keith Vaz; and if you want to see some brilliant examples of photography click here.
* The Guardian Jobs site pays the Mill's wages, so it should be pointed out that it's an excellent resource with openings in a wide variety of careers.
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