It had to start sometime. "We can win the World Cup!" shouts England's Wayne Rooney today, from the back page of just about every newspaper. And so the only cycle more certain to consistently entertain than this ...
... begins again.
Oh Wayne! How could you!
Anyway, Alan Shearer may escape the financial madness at Newcastle United by taking over at Southampton. That's worth reading two or three times if you're a Toon fan.
Shearer could also be heading to West Brom, should Tony Mowbray decide to head north and wow the Celtic faithful with his famous brand of beautiful bad football. Peterborough's Darren Ferguson is also in the frame, because, well, y'know.
Rafael Benitez will take his mind off the cash implosion at Liverpool by having a huge barney with Curly Hicks and Mo Gillett. He could be for the off! Again! And who can blame him?
Meanwhile Manchester City want. But I want doesn't necessarily get. This time they're after Joleon Lescott, though Everton boss David Moyes is doing his best to teach spoilt City a valuable life lesson.
Moyes is firefighting on two fronts, because Steven Pienaar is a target for Atletico Madrid and Russian champions Rubin Kazan. With Liverpool also imploding, Merseyside is destined to supplant New Orleans as the world epicentre of funk any time now.
Moyes' mood could be improved if he manages to land Rennes midfield enforcer Stephane M'Bia, but Everton are likely to be outbid by Espanyol. Davie's up on the downstroke!
Roberto Martinez hopes to persuade Antonio Valencia to remain at Wigan rather than move to Real Madrid or Manchester United. Pointing out that he'll actually get to play football every week should he stay would be a start. And you don't get top-quality rugby league in Madrid. Or discounted replica shirts from the folk in charge at United.
It's Sol Camp-Basle! Now, you can say that doesn't work, but don't tell us everything you need to know isn't there. It's all there.
Kevin Nolan continues his brave quest to become the Neil Redfearn de nos jours by leaving relegated Newcastle for relegation certainties Phil Brown FC. Although maybe Hull will survive if they manage to land Kevin Davies for £4m. The Bolton striker is one of the most underrated players in the country, and the Mill isn't just saying that because otherwise he'll come round and repeatedly shoulder charge us to the floor until we stop moving.
Stoke City want to sign Swedish under-21 left winger Andres Vasquez. The Mill knows nothing about Vasquez, and isn't going to bother pretending otherwise.
And Arsenal want Ajax's £11m central defender and left back Thomas Vermaelen. He'd almost certainly be a roaring success: Tony Adams thinks he's too small for the Premier League.
England to win the World Cup, though. Can we not keep a lid on this for at least another ten months?
