Everton face the imposing challenge of a visit to Old Trafford to face the Premier League champions in today's late kick-off.
Rio Ferdinand is still out for United, but Nemanja Vidic is expected to return to shore up the defence.
Former United striker Lous Saha has a point to prove to his old manager, here you can read all about his burning desire to return to Old Trafford and make his mark for Everton.
Alternatively, here is Tim Rich's report on Fergie's refusal to let goalkeeper Ben Foster go out on loan.
This evening's teams for your reading pleasure:
Man Utd: Van der Sar, Rafael Da Silva, Brown, Vidic, Evra,
Valencia, Fletcher, Carrick, Giggs, Rooney, Owen. Subs: Kuszczak, Anderson, Scholes, Welbeck, Obertan, Gibson, De Laet.
Everton: Howard, Neill, Yobo, Distin, Baines, Gosling, Rodwell, Heitinga, Cahill, Fellaini, Saha. Subs: Nash, Hibbert, Jo, Yakubu, Coleman, Duffy, Baxter.
4.53pm: Berbatov has failed to recover from a knee injury he picked up on international duty, so wee Micky Owen starts in his place. Rafael da Silva comes in for Jonny Evans, whose calf has been seized by HM Customs as it turns out it's made entirely of smuggled beluga caviar.
4.57pm: Chelsea are now eight points clear of United after their victory over Wolves. The chances of United closing that gap look pretty good: United have scored 69 Premier League goals against Everton - more than against any other team and the last time Everton won at Old Trafford was in 1992.
5.02pm: Lord Ferg has been unhappy with Wayne Rooney's media exposure of late, which - let's face it – has been pretty low key over the last few years. Here's what the great man had to say: "Every time England go on a trip, who goes on TV? Wayne Rooney, every blinking time," grumbled Ferguson. "It must get boring asking the same player to do it every time. That is because they have sponsors. That is the FA, they love that kind of thing. But it is not fair on the player to continually have to do the press all the time. It is the same one all the time."
It is disgraceful that the FA dares to put its captain up for interview and for that reason we won't be mentioning Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney in today's game.
1 min: Everton kick-off. "Welcome to one of the gold-plated fixtures of English football," lies Jon Champion.
3 min: Yobo heads clear, or at least to Michael Owen who wins a corner that results in a proper clearance. Here's Ian Copestake: "I thought Ferguson was a hard man, but from what you said at the start it seems he is so soft he does not even want Ben Foster to go out alone. Bless."
5 min: Evra crosses for Rooney to head on to ... well, who does he head on to? Nobody, that's who.
7 min: Fletcher advances ominously and Valencia is able to put in a cross that eventually falls to Rooney, whose dangerous ball skims across goal. Nobody to finish it off though.
10 min: United have pitched their tents in Everton's half and are cracking out the sausages and beans as we speak. Apart Rooney, whose stamped on his tent in frustration because he can't figure out which pole goes where. Instead he's raiding into the Everton box with Evra as his accomplice. "Will United's Da Silva twins be eligible for a two-for-one discount treatment on the placenta treatment we've all been hearing about?" wonders Justin Kavanagh.
11 min: Giggs nearly plays Owen in but Distin gets across quickly to clear.
13 min: This is really unambitious stuff from Everton, who seem happy to sit back and let United punch them rpeatedly in the face. Like the Rumble in the Jungle but with Rick Moranis as Muhammad Ali. Ian Copestake again: "I fear Everton could disappear in this game." They already have, Ian. "Moyes has done wonders when his team used to respond by putting their limbs on the line but so thin is their team now that they are treading water. Nani will regret opening his mouth as even he could have shone in this game.
15 min: Rooney flicks the ball on for Valencia, who is lost in the tangle of Baines's legs. One person in the crowd shouts for a penalty. Everyone ignores him.
17 min: Howard makes his first save as Owen and Giggs get in each other's way before Giggs bobbles a shot that the Everton keeper saves low to his right.
19 min: An Everton chance! But Saha handballs – French striker handballing etc insert your own joke here. So actually it wasn't a chance. Apologies for the excitement.
22 min: We've received a missive from the powers that be about cutting out football cliche from copy. I'm sweating with terror as I recognise all my favourite phrases. Meanwhile, targetman Wayne Rooney continues to rampage against the Merseyside outfit, who lack quality in the final third, as United look to put them to the sword. Any pet hates in cliche land?
24 min: Cahill attempts to make Da Silva's first appearance of the season his last as he crunches him. United get the free-kick and very little else.
26 min: Rafael gets smacked again, this time by Saha, who he then hauls to the ground. Rafael gets a booking.
28 min: Rafael is the most interesting figure on the pitch at the moment, mainly because he's intent on either getting fouled or doing some fouling of his own. He just about puts in a fair tackle on Cahill.
31 min: United have had 71% of the possession so far. United just amble about the Everton area putting in cross after inoffensive cross and their opponents seem happy to watch.
34 min: Hole in the Wall is on BBC1 at the moment and I'm severely tempted to commentary on that. I suspect we could see H (formerly) out of Steps complete a paticularly tricky jump move and nothing would have happened here in the meantime.
GOAL! Man United 1-0 Everton (Fletcher 34)A great goal, unofortunately I was watching Hole in the Wall (note: I wasn't). The ball comes across the edge of the area and Fletcher drfits it into the top corner.
37 min: We've had a goal and now we've got blood. Heitinga is getting treatment after a clash of heads. This is almost exciting. "The problem with Louis Saha returning to his old hunting ground is that he won't realise he is there until he visits the treatment room," giggles Ian Copestake.
40 min: Heitinga is back on, while United put a lovely move together that breaks down on the edge of the area. Everton's response involves Fellaini clattering Fletcher: the Belgian is booked.
42 min: Evra runs in a completely straight line all the way down the byline and Everton let him, He eventaully remembers to cross when he runs out of pitch. "Fluke goal of the season - he can't have meant that!" screams Alastair Lees, presumably because Darren Fletcher's goal was scored by Darren Fletcher.
44 min: Owen gets his first chance of the game and does one of his little trademark dinks that Howard smothers.
45 min: Gosling hits a cross that was always going wide. "'That was always going wide' is a particular pet hate of mine," says Declan Kelly. "Unless Frank Lampard hits the shot, it is always going to go precisely where it was headed towards originally."
45 min+2: Fletcher crosses in from the left and Howard gathers. United have had alot of joy down the right today but then again they've had alot of joy down the left and the middle and just to the left of middle and in their own half and anywhere else you care to mention. That's half-time.
6.25pm: Everton were so horribly unambitious in that half that they made Jim Royle look like Peter Mandelson. At least they have to chase the game now although I have a horrible suspicion they'll just slowly deflate until they end up lying on the pitch like 11 withered balloons. Which may liven up proceedings come to think of it.
46 min: Yakubu is on for Gosling. Two up front? Mr Moyes, you spoil us. Here's Chris (in France): "Is there any chance, if there's a quiet moment on the pitch," a quite moment in this game? You'd be lucky, "that you could let us see that list of football cliches that you mustn't use?" Chris, this whole sorry report is that list.
48 min: Owen and his little dink find themselves offside. "Not exactly football cliche," says Tom Shooter. "But I've always been tickled by the similarity between the strange past/present tense used by footballers - 'I've got past my marker and beaten the keeper and it's gone into the top corner' - and boffins on Radio 4 history programmes - 'Henry knows that victory at Bosworth will win him the crown'. Perhaps footballers have a secret obsession with Melvyn Bragg's In Our Time'." Who doesn't have an obssession with In Our Time? The one on radiation last week was a cracker.
51 min: Rooney attempts to play Evra in but he hits the pass too well. "One of my pet hates is when commentators say, 'He's hit that too well' as the ball whistles just wide of the post," writes my colleague Tom Bryant. "No he didn't, he didn't hit it well enough - otherwise it would have gone in. The same applies for balls that are 'too good' in cricket, balls that 'just don't do enough', as if they have a mind of their own, and balls that 'just don't come down' as if, somehow, the laws of gravity have temporarily been disabled to prevent a team going 1-0 up. Apologies, that's turned into quite the rant."
53 min: Everton mount an attack of sorts. Heitinga piles his way through the United defence, using mainly brute strength and curls a ball into Van der Sar's hands.
55 min: United get their seventh corner of the game. After a bit of a tussle, Owen latches on to the ball and races round Howard but can't angle the ball in. Everton then have the ball in the net but it's offside.
58 min: Rooney and Evra combine again and Distin concedes a corneroff Rooney. "Are the powers that be asking you to avoid MBM-specific cliches," asks Mac Millings. "In which case, it's a fond farewell to 70s riffs, dreadful puns, 80s riffs and 'Here's Gary Naylor'." Actually, where is Naylor? I miss the big guy. Maybe he discovered In Our Time.
61 min: Cahill's studs and Van der Sar have a brief meeting as the United keeper does fanastically well to clear the danger in a none-on-one. "I personally am continually outraged by football journalists' use of hyphens. For instance, Everton did not 'kick-off.' They did 'kick off.' 'Kick-off,' with a hyphen, is a noun," says Stephen Gosling. Bah!
63 min: Rooney nearly socres a spectacular second, curling the ball just over. Scholes is on for Da Silva. "It irritates me everytime I hear 'It should be four or five nil by now' - or any commentary that images the missed chances would have been scored, if the first goal had gone in the game would have kicked off again and gone down an alternate route- so the other missed chances wouldn't have occurred," says Mark Taylor. "Simple really."
64 min: Ooof. Yakubu turns on a dreadnought and sends a shot in that whistles just wide.
66 min: Owen is in on goal again and dinks again and doesn't score again.
GOAL! Man Utd 2-0 Everton (Carrick 67) Carrick does though. Giggs spots Carrick unmarked at the edge of a bunch of players in the area, hits a weighty pass and Carrick strokes the ball past Howard.
70 min: That goal was came at jsut the right time as Everton were actually beginning to attack United and with more and more success. "'A bit of handbags' is an interesting one," says Edward Taylor. "It's a way for male pundits to make themselves look macho by indicating that the violence they see on the pitch is unthreatening, lacklustre and effeminate, not the real manly violence that they themselves would, of course, engage in."
72 min: Giggs delivers an uncharacteristically duff free-kick that Fellaini heads clear. Valencia then attempts a long-range effort and it's probably best if we leave it at that.
75 min: Rooney is off for Obertan. It's been a game of two halves this one with Everton much better this period. "I'd like to write in defence of 'It's a game of two halves,'" says Francis Mead. "There was a period when this suddenly became the most mocked phrase in football. But the mockery was quite wrong. The point is it's a METAPHOR - it isn't meant literally - it means that the halves of the game contrasted with each other. It was the mockery that was gormless. I think it should be reintroduced (like letting salmon back into a river that's been cleaned up).
GOAL! Man United 3-0 Everton (Valencia 75) United charge forward, with Scholes at the forefront. He lays it off to Valencia, racing in from the right and his shot deflects past Howard.
78 min: Everton's reward for being more adventurous this half is to concede twice. Which just goes to show you should never try and make football interesting. Talking of interesting, Tony Hibbert's warming up.
79 min: Michael Owen used to do nothing all game, get one chance and score. Today he's done nothing all game, had three chances and hasn't scored.
82 min: Yobo concedes a corner with a rather flashy diving header. Giggs takes and pings it back to Scholes who overhits his cross with a fair amount of skill.
84 min: Doomed Star Wars planet Obertan has looked lively since his arrival and almost releases Giggs. "I think any reference to effort approaching or exceeding 110% should be included in the banned list as well as Alex Fergusons/Phil Browns skin colour and 'Wee Micky' Owen's lack of stature (both physically and internationally)," says Ben Bamford.
86 min: Jo is on and wins a corner. He's roundly booed because he's on loan from City, even though he basically describes his contempt for United rivals every time he opens his mouth.
88 min: Apparently Jack Rodwell was scouted by Everton at the age of six. What do you reckon the report said? "Rubbish at football: he's six."
89 min: Evra heads an Everton shot over. Fellaini wastes the corner.
90+1 min: "'Picked up speed off the pitch': It's 'Picked up speed off the wet turf'. Christ" That came courtesy of an irate Ben Shepherd. Van der Sar saves well from Rodwell.
90min +2: Evra, who has been superb all game, wins another corner as he attacks the Everton defence. Scholes's volley flashes over: he was closed down well by Fellaini.
PEEEEEP!United close the gap on Chelsea to five points and are now three points ahead of Arsenal in third. United were efficient rather than spectacular today and Everton didn't seem too fussed about stopping them.
