We’ll have a match report shortly. In the meantime, Tim de Lisle is icing his fingers in preparation for an Old Trafford goalfest. That high line! That defence!

That wasn’t the most exciting game but it did have a grim fascination, particularly when things got feisty in the second half. It’s a better result for Everton than Villa, particularly after three straight defeats, though they did have the best chance of the match when Dominic Calvert-Lewin was denied by Emi Martinez just before half-time.

We’ve just seen a couple of replays of James Tarkowski’s tackle on Moussa Diaby in the second half. Even Roy Keane says it “could have been a penalty” and “he knows what he’s doing” – win the ball and then follow through, low but with force, into Diaby. It feels like another one for VAR’s grey area: had a penalty been given on the field it wouldn’t have been overturned.

90+7 min McNeil plays in the underlapping Garner on the left. He slidse a low cross towards Harrison, but Moreno gets across to make an excellent interception.

Moments later, Onana sprays over the bar from 20 yards.

90+5 min Villa think they’ve won another corner – but Watkins is penalised for a wrestling manoeuvre on Tarkowski. Onana gives the referee a hearty round of appaluse.

90+4 min “Sounds like you drew the short straw for today’s MBMs,” says Jeremy Boyce. “Doesn’t sound like a barrel of laughs at Goodison, but surely plenty of comedy fun coming later at Carry-On Man U? I will be fascinated to see what marginal gains they’ve made this week. You can say what you like about Dyche, but he seems to know how to make gains without the use of a microscope.”

90+3 min Moreno’s cross is headed wide from 10 yards by Duran, who was running away from goal when he made contact. Pickford had it covered.

90+2 min And still Villa press.

90+1 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “The Everton defender’s bang, crash and boom antics are a performative art masterpiece! What a rousing finale to Tarkowski’s 1812 Overture!”

90 min Villa look the likelier winners now. They have seven minutes to comply.

89 min: Villa substitution Nicolo Zaniolo on, John McGinn off.

88 min: Doucoure has a goal disallowed for offside! It was an emphatic finish, welted past Martinez, but I think he knew all along that he was offside.

A quick check confirms the decision.

87 min: Just wide by Duran! And I mean just. Watkins flips a pass out to Cash, who takes a quick touch before curling a cross towards the near post. Duran gets across Tarkowski, six yards out, and stretches to flick a clever shot that beats the diving Pickford and bounces just past the far post. That was a really good effort.

86 min That looked like a goal-saving challenge from Mykolenko. The ball may also have hit his hand, though he was on the floor by that time and there were no appeals for ap enalty.

85 min: Double chance for Villa! The tireless Moreno keeps the ball in near the byline and bounces a cross towards the far post. Cash’s shot is desperately blocked by the sliding Mykolenko, then McGinn’s follow-up is kicked away by Coleman in the six-yard box with Pickford out of the game.

84 min Branthwaite shoves Duran over off the ball. He wasn’t happy with a challenge by Duran on Mykolenko, but in the context of this game it’s much ado about nothing.

83 min A cracking stat from the Sky Sports commentary team: this is Unai Emery’s 97th Premier League game, and he’s yet to be involved in a 0-0 draw.

81 min Douglas Luiz gets Onana, who has been booked, in a light headlock for a few seconds. Onana isn’t happy but doesn’t fall for the bait. A few players have been cruising for a bruising in the second half.

80 min At the other end Doucoure has a shot blocked by Konsa after beating the offside trap on the right. “A football match is threatening to break out here…” says Alan Smith.

80 min Villa are starting to take control again. Tielemans smashes an awkward, wobbling cross-shot that is well cleared by Branthwaite on the six-yard line.

78 min Watkins spins Tarkowski just past the halfway line and is fouled. Tarkowski needs be careful. While that foul wasn’t enough for a second yellow card, the next one might be.

77 min An impromptu game of head tennis in the Everton area ends with Pickford saving comfortably from Duran, who had no pace on the ball with which to work.

76 min Now Tielemans is booked for a foul on Garner. A few players have lost the head.

The resulting free-kick, swung deep by McNeil, is claimed with the minimum of fuss by Martinez. He’s really good isn’t he.

74 min: Villa substitution Matty Cash comes on for Diego Carlos, which means Ezri Konsa will move to right-back.

73 min Tarkowski and Lenglet are booked. Tarkowski isn’t happy because he won the ball a split-second before wiping out Moreno. I’m not sure there was much difference between that tackle and the one on Diaby earlier in the half. Anyway.

Now Coleman is getting involved with Tielemans. Lads, it’s football.

72 min There’s a bit of pushing and shoving, sparked by a rugged tackle from Tarkowski on Moreno. Maybe half the players were involved, though I don’t think anybody did anything red card-worthy.

69 min Onana is the latest player to visit the canvas, in his case after an accidental blow to the genitalia from Tielemans. He’s okay.

67 min The big game of the day kicks off in just under an hour’s time. The great Tim de Lisle has the team news from Old Trafford.

66 min James Garner wins the ball in a good area with another good challenge, only for the usually reliable McNeil to overhit his cross. These players will sleep well tonight after what has been a rugged, bruising contest.

65 min Duran finds space on the left of the area but slices his cross behind for a goalkick. “Oh blimey,” says Alan Smith, co-commentating on Sky.

64 min: Double substitution for Villa Jhon Duran and Youri Tielemans come on for Leon Bailey and the slightly disappointing Moussa Diaby.

63 min: Double substitution for Everton Beto and Dwight McNeil replaces Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Arnaut Danjuma.

62 min Villa are starting to rev up after a slow start to the half. A short corner is worked infield and back to Diaby, whose shot from the edge of the area has the sting taken out of it and is held easily by Pickford.

61 min At the other end, Danjuma pokes a first-time shot wide from 12 yards. It was no more than a quarter chance after a cross bounced unexpectedly towards him at the far post.

60 min McGinn whips a shot just wide from 25 yards. Moments earlier, Diaby chopped back inside Branthwaite in the area and ran into a very strong block tackle from Tarkowski. Villa want a penalty but, forceful though the challenge was, I doubt VAR will get involved.

59 min A dodgy header from Konsa (I think) goes straight to Onana on the edge of the area, but his touch is poor and Douglas Luiz makes an important tackle.

58 min Kamara opens Everton up with a superb long through pass towards Diaby. He chops back inside the covering Branthwaite and plays the ball to Watkins, whose shot from the edge of the area deflects behind for a corner.

57 min It’s been a scruffy start to the second half. Even watching on TV, Goodison Park often feels like a small pitch; that’s certainly the case today.

55 min Villa have failed to score in only two of their 30 games this season, which tells you how well Everton are defending. Pickford has only had one really difficult save to make.

54 min He’s back on, bandage and all.

53 min Mykolenko has gone off the field to have his wound treated.

52 min Mykolenko is bleeding above the left eye, a 4.2 on the TerryButchometer, so there may be a long delay while he is bandaged up and assessed for concussion.

51 min Mykolenko and Tarkowski go down after an unpleasant clash of heads. Tarkowski is quickly to his feet; Mykolenko is receiving treatment.

50 min Villa break dangerously – it looked like three on one – but a heavy touch from Watkins allows Tarkowski to come across and clear.

48 min Diego Carlos is booked for throwing the ball away, a comparable offence to Malo Gusto’s tackle on Willian yesterday.

48 min Everton beat Villa in the League Cup last September, as Matt Burtz mentioned earlier. But their last league win over Villa was in March 2016. Idrissa Gueye was in the Villa team alongside Micah Richards, Joleon Lescott and Alan Hutton. The Everton team included Romelu Lukaku, Ross Barkley and, of course, Seamus Coleman.

46 min Peep peep! Everton begin the second half, kicking from left to right as we/I watch.

“As usual,” says Matt Burtz, “The Simpsons has the appropriate clip.”

Half-time retrotainment

Not sure what Jason Kearton was doing, but it’s still a fine goal.

In fact, Villa could have had their own goal of the season competition in 1992-93. They almost did.

On Sky Sports, Jamie Redknapp has made exactly the same point as David Flynn in the 40th minute – that the goal could have been disallowed immediately for the foul by Lenglet rather than waiting almost four minutes to check the offside. As a protocol fiend, I’m still a bit uncomfortable with that idea. Next stop, anarchy.

Half-time reading

45+6 min Diaby seizes on an awkward touch from Tarkowski and knocks the ball into the area. Pickford charges off his line and slides to claim the ball just before Diaby.

45+3 min Moreno is down again, this time after being caught on the shin by Coleman. He also looked a bit groggy when Everton had that corner a moment ago.

I’d love to know more about the concussion protocols because we see quite a few players come back onto the field looking like they’re on their fifth pint. Of wine. Something doesn’t add up.

45+1 min There are eight minutes of added time, mainly for that VAR check. It’s all Everton at the moment.

45 min: Fine double save from Martinez! Everton should be in front. Danjuma leads a break, deep in his own half, and waves a gorgeous through ball with the outside of the right foot. Calvert-Lewin times his run to beat the offside trap on the halfway line and gallops into the area. He gives Martinez the eyes and shoots low to the left, but Martinez sticks out his right boot to make a vital save.

Everton regain possession and Garner cracks a low shot from the edge of the area that is pushed round the post by Martinez, who changed direction and plunged to his left. That was a smart save; the first was even better.

42 min Garner flattens his teammate Onana with what might have been a shot from the halfway line. He’s soon on his feet. I’d like to say a replay because Garner really leathered it, so I’m not sure it was a pass.

Maybe it was a Jason Cundy-style clearance, although Garner is a marginally more cultured footballer.

41 min Everton are starting to stir, probably helped by an increasingly agitated crowd. Their agitation is with the officials and the opponents, not their own players.

The home fans aren’t impressed when the referee stops play to allow Moreno to receive treatment for a bloody nose. He was smacked in the face by a pass from Harrison.

40 min “Should that goal not have been disallowed because the Villa player dragged Danjuma to the ground and held him there to try make everyone else onside?” says David Flynn. “Seems like they could have saved everyone five minutes by checking that first.”

Trouble is, that’s a subjective decision so they would have had to get the referee over to the screen, whether offside is (theoretically) factual.

37 min Garner teases the corner towards the six-yard line, where it seems to skim the head of Lenglet and go behind for another corner. In fact the referee gives a goalkick, so maybe it came off Tarkowski.

Calvert-Lewin thought he was being pulled by Douglas Luiz before the former was taken. There was a bit of manhandling but not enough for VAR to get busy.

36 min Garner wins the ball off Konsa 40 yards from goal. Danjuma collects, makes a beeline for the area and hits a shot that deflects behind for a corner. That was Everton’s first opening in a long while.

35 min “It’s colder than a cast iron toilet on the shady side of an iceberg here in Illinois with the mercury reading at -23C right now (with a 16 mph wind making it feel like -35),” brrrrrs J.R. “Don’t worry about me though. It’s going to warm all the way up to -17C this afternoon plus I’ve got my burning hatred of VAR to keep me warm.

“(On the Moreno non-goal Lenglet was holding Danjuma intentionally in an effort to keep him from pushing out to play Bailey offside but I’m confident if they hadn’t found an offside they would have completely ignored the blatant foul and wrongly allowed the goal.)”

I wondered about that – is something like that in VAR’s purview or is it another loophole that wasn’t considered when they fast-tracked VAR into world football to the detriment of the human experience.

34 min Tarkowski is a tough old broad, which is to say the game has resumed and he is still involved.

33 min Tarkowski is still being treated by the cuts man.

32 min Watkins catches Tarkowski with an elbow as they jump for a long ball. He’s booked; Tarkowski has a cut above his right eye that is being treated.

31 min Sky have confirmed that Leon Bailey was offside in the build up to Moreno’s disallowed goal. It looked that way at the time, though I’m still not sure why they were farting around looking at a potential offside later in the move.

30 min “Is there anything like football for creating random antipathies which then have to be pushed aside in the name of necessity?” says Richard Hirst. “ I’ve disliked Villa ever since the 2018 play-off final, when Grealish tried to do Tom Cairney, and in Grealish and Terry Villa had two of the three players I most disliked (Ronaldo in case anyone’s asking). But now we have to ensure that Everton stay below Fulham, so I’m reduced to supporting Villa. Such is life.”

Like Forrest Gump says, life is like a big box of compromises.

28 min Bailey pokes an early shot from 10 yards that is pushed round the near post by Pickford. That’s a terrific reaction save, made at full stretch too.

Just before that Watkins screwed a low shot across goal, not dissimilar to his earlier effort that was saved by Pickford.

27 min Villa are playing some good stuff now. McGinn curls a long pass towards Moreno, a Shinkansen on the left wing. Pickford comes miles out of his area but Coleman gets to the ball first, just ahead of both Pickford and Moreno, and puts it out of play.

26 min “Hi Rob,” says Jeff Sax. “Hope you’re well. Re: Matt Burtz and his expectations for Everton, the best approach in life is not to have any.”

Funnily enough that was the slogan on the entrance gate at university.

24 min Villa take the corner short again. This time McGinn’s up-and-under causes brief panic in the Everton defence before the ball is cleared.

23 min Moreno charges down the left to win another corner for Villa. The goal may have been disallowed but they are definitely looking more dangerous.

Hang on, they’re now checking whether somebody was in Pickford’s eyeline. If so that presumably means the Bailey offside has been cleared.

The VAR lines are out. My hunch is it’s offside.

A left-wing corner was taken short and worked to Bailey, who flipped the ball back towards Moreno on the edge of the area. He chested it down and arrowed a superb shot into the bottom corner. The offside decision is tight, with Danjuma potentially playing him on.

17 min Villa are starting to put a few passes together, although I moment I type that Everton almost have a chance when Onana overhits a through pass to Calvert-Lewin.

14 min The first shot on target. Diaby finds space for the first time and guides a pass down the inside-right channel towards Watkins. Tarkowski forces him away from goal but Watkins still manages to screw a shot that forces a decent save from Pickford. Sometimes keepers are caught off guard by shots from that sort of position, especially when the forward is running away from goal.

13 min We’ve got two MBMs on the go this afternoon, moneybags outfit that we are. Daniel Harris is following Nigeria v Equatorial Guinea.

11 min Vital defending from Moreno, who takes Danjuma’s fast, low cross off the toes of Doucoure.

10 min Garner’s free-kick hits the wall. Everton will be pleased with this start though; they are giving Villa no time whatsoever on the ball.

9 min From the resulting free-kick, Douglas Luiz is penalised for manhandling Branthwaite just outside the penalty area. A clear foul, though Luiz disagreed.

8 min Doucoure yelps with pain after McGinn stands on his foot near the touchline. He’s also fine.

6 min Martinez takes a short goalkick to Luiz, who is robbed by Onana in the D. The ball runs loose and Martinez dives at the feet of Onana to push it away. That’s brave goalkeeping as he knew the sliding Onana was going to follow through into his chest, which he did. Martinez receives treatment but he’s fine.

5 min Harrison’s slow, hanging cross reaches Danjuma beyond the far post. He slices a volley well off target, but the ball hits a Villa player and comes back to him. Eventually the ball is half cleared to Mykolenko, who splashes high and wide from the edge of the area.

5 min “Every time I expected a performance out of Everton (Luton at home, Manchester United at home, Wolves away) they haven’t delivered,” writes Matt Burtz. “Every time I didn’t expect much (Chelsea and Newcastle at home) they have. The lesson here, I think, is to not expect anything and just hope for the best. And fall back on the knowledge that they defeated Villa in the League Cup a few months ago.”

4 min Everton win the first corner of the game on the right. It’s curled in by Harrison and claimed with authority by Martinez.

3 min McGinn’s bounces through to Bailey beyond the far post. He tries to cut back inside Mykolenko but slips over.

2 min “Good morning from Pittsburgh!” says Eric Peterson. It’s a bit of a dodgy situation for Everton but not quite as dire as it seems. The Toffees get Abdoulaye Doucoure back today, whose attacking influence from midfield is crucial. His injury absence coincides precisely with their five-game winless run in all comps, and the Toffees had won their previous four. Also, Villa’s form isn’t quite as glossy as their table position when you look under the surface.

“Their recent games, working backward: needing a late deflected goal to survive Middlesbrough in the FA Cup, allowing a tying goal to 10-man Burnley before their PK winner, blowing a two-goal halftime lead and losing to Manchester United, and trailing in stoppage time before salvaging a draw against Sheffield United.”

Yes I’m sure Everton will be fine, and it won’t be a huge surprise if they win today. I was just struck by how tough their fixtures are until mid-April.

1 min And they’re off. Villa are kicking from left to right as we watch.

A quick reminder of the teams

Everton (possible 4-2-3-1) Pickford; Coleman, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko; Onana, Garner; Harrison, Doucoure, Danjuma; Calvert-Lewin.
Substitutes: Virginia, Patterson, Keane, Godfrey, Gomes, McNeil, Dobbin, Chermiti, Beto.

Aston Villa (possible 4-2-2-2) Martinez; Konsa, Diego Carlos, Lenglet, Alex Moreno; Kamara, Douglas Luiz; Bailey, McGinn; Diaby, Watkins.
Substitutes: Marschall, Wright, Cash, Tielemans, Zaniolo, Duran, Dendoncker, Iroegbunam.

Referee David Coote.

Don’t worry Sean, it evens itself out oh.

Look, this piece is more relevant for a Nottingham Forest match, but it still applies to both teams, just about.

The Everton captain Seamus Coleman, a Gary Cooper de nos jours, is making his 355th Premier League appearance today – a new club record. He’s not in the top 10 for overall league appearances, but we don’t talk about that. What happened before 1992 stays in before 1992.