With kick-offs in Frankfurt and Stuttgart on the way, time to wrap up here.

Some key things so far from today:

• Phil Foden heads home from England camp due to “pressing family matter”

• Hungary’s Barnabas Varga discharged from hospital

• Five spaces in the knockout stages are still available

Here’s a reminder of today’s games, after which all should become clear for the last-16 stage …

Group E (all times BST)
5pm: Slovakia v Romania (Frankfurt)
5pm: Ukraine v Belgium (Stuttgart)

Group F
8pm: Czech Republic v Turkey (Hamburg)
8pm: Georgia v Portugal (Gelsenkirchen)

Thanks for joining us today and enjoy the action!

In just under 45 minutes … the up-in-the-air mess that is Group E – where all four sides have three points from two games – will start to untangle.

Barry Glendenning is on board for Ukraine v Belgium …

Michael Butler is at the tiller for Slovakia v Romania …

Hello again. Though our reporters following England at the Euros are tracking the Foden story in case more word emerges, suffice to say anything referred to as “a pressing family matter” is cause to tread lightly.

The Press Association is reporting that “Foden is expected to rejoin the squad ahead of Sunday’s game” against last-16 opponents who are yet to be determined.

That’s me done for now but Stuart Goodwin is stepping in for another 30 minutes or so as we track the Foden news and build up to today’s 5pm games.

A bit more on that Phil Foden story from our man in Cologne, Jacob Steinberg.

A reminder of today’s matches at Euro 2024. The first two are just over an hour away and we’ll have hot minute-by-minute updates on both.

• Group E
  5pm: Slovakia v Romania (Frankfurt)
  5pm: Ukraine v Belgium (Stuttgart)

• Group F
  8pm: Czech Republic v Turkey (Hamburg)
  8pm: Georgia v Portugal (Gelsenkirchen)

As England fans, it’s good to hear different voices as we sit here mumbling away, stupidly presuming that supporters of most other countries are completely happy with their lot.

So here’s an email from Italo Cerullo: “As a lifelong Italy fan, I will say simply this: The Azzurri would kill to have Cole Palmer. And if they did, La Nazionale would be built around him for this tournament. He is what we call “un fantasista”. We used to have them (Totti, Del Piero, Baggio). No longer, sadly. Hope to see you in the quarters (unlikely I fear…).”

An England story from the PA Media ‘showbiz news’ department which seems a bit ironic.

England’s underwhelming clash with Slovenia was watched by 14.5 million viewers, ITV has said. The match saw Gareth Southgate’s side progress to the European Championship knockout phase as Group C winners, despite being held to a 0-0 draw.

Some 14.5 million people tuned in on watch on all devices, including ITV1 and ITVX, peaking at 15.4 million. An average of 9.2 million viewers watched ITV’s full live coverage, which ran from 6:45pm until 10:45pm, the broadcaster said.

Fans have expressed frustration at England’s performance after they were unable to turn their dominance into a morale-boosting victory and Tuesday’s clash in Cologne ended goalless.

Despite this, they will face a third-placed side (“looks like the Dutch”) in the last 16 on Sunday. The match will be shown on ITV1, ITVX, STV and STV Player with build-up from 3.30pm ahead of the 5pm kick-off.

Let’s turn to the south-west corner of Germany where our very own Jack Kerouac, Sid Lowe, is on the road with Group B winners Spain.

It’s a day off for the Spain squad at their Der Oeschberghof training camp just outside Donaueschingen, down in the Black Forest.

Follow the Spain team they said, so we did: heading down the motorway behind the bus to here yesterday. There’s not a huge amount going on in Donaueschingen, it’s fair to say, but today the Federation has set up the traditional lunch for the media following them at the Euros. Maybe forty or so of us. Quite enjoyed Luis de la Fuente’s address before.

Apparently we’re part of the family, although probably that weird uncle you don’t like much. Also delivered a gentle reprimand for those who still see Spain in club terms (and that’s almost everyone). A great big stuffed bear at the door. Inside the place - a kind of alpine wooden hut - were a couple of raccoons (erm, I think) up to no good on one of the wooden beams.

Spain’s players, or some of them, have headed out for the day. For those that stayed there’s the usual stuff: golf course, pool, Play Stations, cinema, cards, parchís (it’s like Ludo). It’s an unusually footbally group. (You’d be surprised how many players can’t be bothered to watch games.) Dani Olmo and Unai Simón play chess. Disappointing lack of letting us loose on the pitch.

It’s Euro 2024 so Football Daily is up early! Features include Cologne reaction and a reader’s letter putting the blame on Marks & Spencer for England’s poor performances.

Here’s another metric for measuring England’s lack of attacking threat: touches in the opposition box. France are top with 112 while England have managed less than half that tally.

Touches in the opposition box
112 France
106 Germany
84 Croatia
80 Spain
76 Netherlands, Belgium
72 Italy, Denmark
68 Portugal
59 Switzerland
58 Austria
53 England

Good efforts from Belgium and Portugal, who have only played twice so far.

The underlying numbers at least offer more encouragement for France. Despite just two goals so far, they sit second in the XG charts (surprisingly, Croatia are top). England are down in 20th, with Scotland last!

XG leaders v actual goals
6.55 Croatia (3 goals)
5.88 France (2 goals)
5.54 Spain (5 goals)
5.10 Germany (8 goals)
4.10 Switzerland (5 goals)
4.03 Poland (3 goals)
3.87 Austria (6 goals)

So Germany and Austria are overachieving, France are very much underacheiving and Spain are about right. Croatia will be kicking themselves they didn’t go through. Oh, you want England and Scotland’s numbers too, right?

2.19 England (2 goals)
0.95 Scotland (2 goals)

If England fans feel mightily underwhelmed, there are also grunts of discontentment coming from across the channel where France’s paltry tally of two goals in the three group games arrived via a penalty and an own goal. Here’s the rundown of Les Bleus’ tournament so far via Eric Devin from Get French Football News.

We’ll put this ‘who England play’ thing to bed now and leave the last word to Andrew Benton on email.

“Who will England play next? It doesn’t matter, their greatest battle is with themselves. Until they sort themselves out they’ll always be their own most cunning opponents.”

Thanks Stuart. Now, a bloke fitting a kitchen next door has just asked me who England will play in the last 16. Not wanting to direct him towards uefa’s permutations, I went with “looks like the Dutch”. And, after further research, I feel like that’s a pretty good answer.

My confidence has gone up after finding a bookie offering odds on England’s next opponents and they go: 4/9 Netherlands, 9/2 Slovakia, 8/1 Ukraine, 10/1 Romania, 22/1 Belgium.

The implied probability of 4/9 is 69.2% (remember 1/2 is 66.66% and even money 50%). So, hell yeah, if you’re stopped in the street, jumping in a taxi, replying to a WhatsApp from you Mum, feel free to go “looks like the Dutch”.

2pm BST is brewpm BST. Here’s David to reclaim his rightful blogging throne. Enjoy the buildup to today’s action!

ICYMI corner … today’s Knowledge is a cracker. Any more suggestions of teams who failed to score early on in a tournament but then went deep?

GREAT stat in there on this Euros setting a record in terms of second-tier stadiums being showcased too …

Gary Neville wasn’t thrilled with England’s display last night. The former full-back and international teammate of Gareth Southgate was on punditry duty last night and said the side “looked so basic in the first half” …

It was a struggle to watch but it moved forward a lot in the second half even though we didn’t get the result but there was glimpses of what we can be.

England have Cole Palmer, Bukayo Saka, Jude Bellingham, Kobbie Mainoo, Phil Foden … massive, massive talents and we cannot afford to mismanage them.”

Fiona Faz is another to have pored over the mammoth Uefa permutations page. Her favourite bit?

Uefa say: ‘These examples may not cover all potential situations.’ What the hell isn’t covered on there, short of absurd stuff like games being unable to finish because – say – part of the ISS has fallen into the centre circle?”

Fiona might have missed this news story from today. Mercifully, Sunita “Suni” Williams and Barry “Butch” Wilmore have “plenty of supplies in orbit”.

I wouldn’t normally click on an email headed “Message from GCHQ” (there’s a work-mandated training module in that kind of thing), but I was sucked in by seeing it was sent by James Brown.

I work in the code-breaking division at GCHQ (you’re welcome). Me and my team were wondering if you could ask Uefa to make the next competition’s 3rd place selection a bit more complicated? My mate Vladimir managed to solve it in 3 hours. I’d get him to explain it but he’s in the recovery room right now.

Keep up the good work!”

Insert your own “Southgate needs his players to Get On The Good Foot” here.

Speaking of Georgia v Portugal …

--------------------

“But, I mean, it’s Portugal,” came the typically frank and measured reply from the Georgia manager, Willy Sagnol. Minutes earlier, such was the giddiness surrounding the nation’s first point at a major tournament on Saturday, he had been given a standing ovation as he entered the press conference room in Hamburg from journalists who follow the team. The same went for Giorgi Mamardashvili, after his staggering goalkeeping display.

Conversation, however, soon flipped to the game in Gelsenkirchen on Wednesday night and it was a case of carefully dousing the flames of unfiltered excitement. The obvious thing to say at this juncture is Georgia won’t stop dreaming.

Why would they? The country is bursting with pride. Sagnol has painted the reality of the task, the probability of them reaching the last 16 something close to mission impossible. Whatever the percentage of Georgia’s hopes of defying expectations, they will not relent.

Read more here …

Bit of journalism inside baseball here – it’s a huge relief to more or less everyone in the UK print media that the final Group E matches are both 5pm kick-offs.

8pm kick-offs, allied to the recent growth spurt that stoppage time has enjoyed in domestic games, are proving a right old right old, as we used to say in my corner of England’s north-west. Late goals around The Guardian’s 10pm print deadline – ouch. Late result-altering goals – arrrrrrrrrghh.

Late result-altering goals that completely upend an entire group stage necessitating changes to tables, next-round fixture panels, headlines, images, captions, words filed by writers on whichever match finished first … let’s just say I’m not the only member of the dept with markedly less hair than I had a few years ago.

So, it’s Group F’s games that are today’s poorly concealed bear trap. A late Georgia winner against already-qualified Portugal (whose starting lineup could be fascinating) would be both a sensational result and the cause of brains to start leaking out of ears. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great fun, but sometimes that bit between 9.50pm and 10pm can cause an entire office to collectively age by about 75 years as you try and get your heads around it all.

Group E is making my fillings jangle.

Mr Tindall posted the straightforward bit earlier. However, it gets a lot more convoluted if the teams all end up on 4pts, as is perfectly possible (all currently have one win and a draw).

Later today (5pm BST), we have:
Slovakia v Romania (Frankfurt)
Ukraine v Belgium (Stuttgart)

Here’s Uefa untangling what happens if both games are draws …

In the event that both games are drawn, the four teams will finish equal on four points. The following scenarios would then come into play:

A) If the two draws have the same scoreline, or if Belgium vs Ukraine is a draw with fewer goals than Slovakia vs Romania, the group ranking would be based on goal difference and goals scored and would be:

1) Romania
2) Belgium
3) Slovakia
4) Ukraine

B) If the two draws have different scorelines, the following scenarios are anticipated:

If Belgium vs Ukraine ends 1-1 and Slovakia vs Romania ends 0-0, or any pair of results where Belgium score exactly one more goal than Romania in their draw, Belgium and Romania would occupy the first two positions in the group but would be equal on goal difference and goals scored. In that case, as per article 20.01d of the official competition regulations, the head-to-head criteria is reapplied exclusively to those two teams, which would mean Belgium ahead of Romania as they won their direct match. Slovakia would be third and Ukraine fourth on goal difference.

In all other scenarios, Romania and Belgium would occupy the top two spots in the group, split on goals scored. Belgium will win the group if they score two (or more) goals more than Romania in their draw; Romania would win the group if they score more goals than Belgium in their draw. Slovakia would finish ahead of Ukraine in third place based on goal difference.

In all of these scenarios, the situation stipulated in article 20.02 of the competition regulations (penalty kicks in case of perfect equality) could not apply. Equally, the situations stipulated in articles 20.01g and 20.01h (disciplinary points and European Qualifiers rankings) could not apply.

• Please note: The Guardian is not liable for any issues brought on by Euro permutation posts that cause your brains to turn to fudge

Speaking to PA, Defoe added:

People have spoken about a lack of movement, that the team is not dynamic enough, but I think there has to be an identity.

We are too good of a team, if you look at the players that we have – especially in the forward areas. Of course, if you spoke to the players, they know they take responsibility, they know it should be a lot better.

Yes we have qualified … but it is difficult because when you play against these teams who sit back, you have to move the ball quick and when you do create the chances then you have to take them.”

Thank the stars – here’s Jermain Defoe to distract you all.

Speaking following England’s outstanding point against Slovenia, the former everywhere striker said:

I think Mainoo will come into the team. He is someone who passes forward. I also felt Cole Palmer made a difference. How he has played with the season he had at Chelsea, he is someone that can just create something out of nothing.

Then there is [Anthony] Gordon with his pace – when he came on, the first thing he did was knock the ball past the defender. Yes the ball ran out of play, but by doing that it just forces teams back a little bit. We have got lots of options, but it will just be interesting to see if Gareth will use these kind of players.”

Just dabbing a bit of Irn Bru off my keyboard after a slight snorting incident while reading the bit where he acknowledges that the ball went out following Gordon’s barnstorming introduction.

Cheers Mr Tindall. Greetings all.

Quick rundown of my personal strengths and weaknesses …

Good at: sleep, moaning, balding and lying to my dentist about how much fizzy pop I typically drink in a day
Bad at: anything to do with major tournament permutations

Join me as I catch up filling in the blank spots of my Observer wallchart, trying to untangle this godforsaken mess while fending off tears.

Perhaps it’s a good time to go for a lie down/reflective walk. In which case, I shall hand you over to Stuart Goodwin. Take it away Stu.

The deep dive into permutations continues but I think we’re cracking this thing now.

Paul Boldrin writes: “England can’t face 3rd in group F due to the combinations of third places that can qualify. The only combinations still possible are ACDE, ACDF or CDEF. These combinations lead to England playing either 3rd in group D (the first two) or 3rd in group E (the last one).

“If Czech Republic beat Turkey by two goals or fewer, or Georgia beat Portugal (or both), then we face whoever finished 3rd in group E. That’s because it would leave the third place team in group F on either four points or three points but with a better goal difference than Hungary (or more goals scored), so that the third place qualifiers would be C, D, E and F, which makes the draw winner of C vs 3rd in E. Otherwise we would face Netherlands because the 3rd place qualifiers would be A, C, D and E or F which both lead to the winner of C facing 3rd in D.

“Technically one of the group F things could happen and we still face Netherlands, but that would require two teams in group E to end up with a worse goal difference than Hungary (-3) which seems unlikely given the number of goals in the tournament so far.

“Clear as mud but hopefully it helps.”

Some ‘who will England play next'? clarity is provided by reader Alexander Milinski.

He sends a graphic from Kicker magazine and writes: “England will play the Netherlands (3D) unless Hungary reaches the last 16. Otherwise, England will play 3E, which still can be Romania, Belgium, Slovakia or Ukraine. 3F, if qualified, will play Spain, not England.”

Conspiracy corner time. Which takes me back to West Germany v Austria in the 1982 World Cup and the Disgrace of Gijon.

Ludovic Lemaignen writes: “It seems that it is in both Romania’s and Slovakia’s interests to draw their face-to-face. Both would qualify whatever happens in the other game.”

Perhaps to help us along and add a little bit of colour to proceedings, I should have used Partridge’s signpost-based Soccermeter to explain the group system.

“Let’s take an example. Okay, round one, argghhh, is Pasadena…”

Let’s have a laugh and plot England’s possible route to victory. I’ll go with two categories: ‘Easy’ and ‘Hard’.

Easy

Last 16: Ukraine
Quarter-final: Switzerland
Semi-final: Czech Republic
Final: Denmark

Hard

Last 16: Netherlands
Quarter-final: Italy
Semi-final: Belgium
Final: Spain

NB Some of this may be wrong and not possible. Whatever. It’s my game.

Who exactly will England play next? Look, readers, it’s complicated.

This is the simple version, which also includes date, location and kick-off time:

Sunday 30 June
5pm England vs 3D/E/F (Gelsenkirchen)

3D are the Netherlands

3E are either Romania, Belgium, Slovakia or Ukraine. Opta analysis says Ukraine have the highest chance of finishing third although not by much

3F are either Turkey, the Czech Republic or Georgia although because there is a mini league for the third-placed teams, it looks highly unlikely England would face any of these as they wouldn’t finish in the right position. Or something.

In short, it’s one of ­the Netherlands, Romania, Belgium, Slovakia or Ukraine. Unless someone has worked it out better than me which is probably quite likely.

That isn’t Jimbo, who writes: “Dear David. Please could you just let us know which teams England might play next - it’s too hot and my brain hurts.”

Another name suggestion for England’s Group C which produced a grand total of seven goals across its six matches

Gavin Stone writes: “Group C was the Group of Slow Death. My poor seven-year-old will probably turn to cricket after watching the last two England games in full.”

Out of interest, here’s the full goal count from the completed groups:

17 – Group A (Germany, Switzerland, Hungary, Scotland)

14 – Group B (Spain, Italy, Croatia, Albania)

7 – Group C (England, Denmark, Slovenia, Serbia)

15 – Group D (Austria, France, Netherlands, Poland)

With a round of games to go, Groups E and F have witnessed 9 and 12 goals respectively.

Yes, England are very much in the dour section.

Group E permutations, courtesy of uefa.com.

Portugal are through to the round of 16 as group winners.

Turkey will be through to the round of 16, as group runners-up, if they avoid defeat against the Czechs. Turkey will finish third if they lose and Georgia do not beat Portugal. Turkey will be unable to reach the round of 16, in fourth place, if they lose and Georgia beat Portugal.

Czech Republic will be through to the round of 16, at least as a best third-placed team, if they beat Turkey. The Czechs will be unable to go through if they do not win, even if they finish third.

Georgia will be through to the round of 16, at least as a best third-placed team, if they beat Portugal. Georgia will be unable to go through if they do not win, even if they finish third.

I can sense some of your are thinking that it’s all very well giving you fixtures, but what about some context, Dave? I’ll be honest, I’ve been putting this off as it’s not easy. To avoid getting muddled and befuddled, I’ll play it safe and go with the official uefa.com permutations. Strap yourselves in…

Group E

Romania will be through to the round of 16, in the top two, if they avoid defeat by Slovakia. Romania will be unable to reach the round of 16 if they lose and Ukraine avoid defeat.

Belgium will be through to the round of 16, in the top two, if they avoid defeat by Ukraine. Belgium will be unable to reach the round of 16 if they lose and Romania avoid defeat.

Slovakia will be through to the round of 16, at least as a best third-placed team, if they avoid defeat by Romania. Slovakia will be unable to reach the round of 16 in fourth place if they lose and Belgium avoid defeat.

Ukraine will be through to the round of 16, in the top two, if they beat Belgium, or as a best third-placed team if they draw and the other game is not drawn. Ukraine will be unable to reach the round of 16 in fourth place if they lose and Slovakia avoid defeat, or if both games are drawn.

In the event that both games are drawn, there’s a full explanation here!

Some after the night before from our man on the ground…

Despite the disappointment of the England performance things stayed calm after the game in Cologne with UK police reporting five arrests in total.

Police estimates were of 15,000 England fans in the city (supporters groups calculated double that number) and no disorder was reported.

The five arrests involved two for assault, two for trying to enter the game without a ticket and one for criminal damage.

This morning in the city the scene was rather subdued, meanwhile, with a lot of sore heads and hangdog expressions…

Another four matches (2 x 2) at the Euros today. And here they are with their BST timings:

• Group E
  5pm: Slovakia v Romania (Frankfurt)
  5pm: Ukraine v Belgium (Stuttgart)

• Group F
  8pm: Czech Republic v Turkey (Hamburg)
  8pm: Georgia v Portugal (Gelsenkirchen)

A head count: 11 teams are through to the knockout phase, leaving five more spaces up for grabs. Rather than hand them on a plate, let’s make you work a little and show this in flag form.

Some Player of the Match housekeeping from last night’s two 0-0s in Group C. Weirdly, England’s players were all overlooked.

Simon McMahon has come up with a far better name for Group C (see 10:16 entry) and its woeful lack of goals. “Group C: The Group of Dearth?”

The Euros aren’t averse to a rubbish Golden Boot race. Michel Platini went beserk in 1984 when scoring nine but the 1980, 1992 and 2012 editions were won with just three. Fewer matches than World Cups of course but while that tournament’s top scorers roll off the tongue of any football geek worth their salt (Kempes, Rossi, Lineker, Schillaci etc), a pat on the back if you can name the Golden Boot winners of the Euros in ‘80, ‘92 and ‘12.

This all springs to mind as no-one has managed more than two so far in Euro 2024. All have come in separate matches so will anyone actually score a brace anytime soon?

2 Niclas Fullkrug, Ivan Schranz, Georges Mikautadze, Jamal Musiala and Cody Gakpo. Presented here in a far more lovely graphic.

Group C provided exactly zero goals yesterday: England 0-0 Slovenia, Denmark 0-0 Serbia. The Group of Sleep or perhaps The Group of Binary after providing scorelines of either 1-0, 0-0 or 1-1 in all six matches. But rather than spot numerical patterns, maybe there’s something more significant at play here. On that very subject, we have an email.

Ian Clover writes: “Here’s my attempt to be positive: look at the other results in the England group. None of Denmark, Serbia or Slovenia ever really ‘went for it’. It was a dull, cagey, tight group, and the only team to emerge with a win was England. Put them against a team willing to come out and play against us and we’ll click soon enough.”

A Jude Bellingham email following another subdued performance from England’s great hope against Slovenia.

Shaun Wilkinson says: “I feel like all the talk of TAA/Gallagher/which midfielder should be where is burying the lead of how truly awful Jude Bellingham has been in the last two games. Is Southgate scared of substituting him? It seems certain star players are immune from being dropped or substituted in this day and age (see Mbappe against Poland also), but I feel like his attitude in the last couple of games has really hindered the players around him. I never expected to be saying this as I fully expected him to be brilliant in this tournament, but I think I would leave him out of the next game, put Foden in his preferred role in the middle and bring in Gordon on the left. Am I overreacting?”

Not really Shaun. Something definitely isn’t quite right, I agree. You can tell in Bellingham’s passing. Much of it has this sort of strange high follow through which seems to send a petulant message of ‘I’ll just have to go with this then as none of you are running into space’. Prime Jude fizzes the ball off crisply and then immediately darts into space rather than passes slowly and stands still.

Staying with that Group D game, Poland manager Michal Probierz gave short shrift to those critical of Robert Lewandowski’s jerky, stop-start penalty technique.

It doesn’t matter how he scores them. You cannot tell a player who has scored [more than] 600 goals how to score goals.

Full quotes on that match here, including this piece of wisdom from French boss Didier Deschamps. “You cannot always read a competition just from the group stage.” Take note England fans.

Two iconic forwards were on the scoresheet in France’s 1-1 draw with Poland. Kylian Mbappé tucked away his spot-kick with grace and aplomb but Robert Lewandowski made Jack Douglas look fluid before finally netting his re-taken penalty. Here’s Ben Fisher’s report.

And what a turnaround it would be for Ralf Rangnick if Austria went on to crack open the victory champagne. More ‘Neck it Ralph!’ than ‘Wreck it Ralph’. The Austrian boss, who was much derided for his temporary spell in charge at Manchester United, praised his team for their “­courageous and energetic” performance against the Netherlands.

World Cups are a closed shop. The biggest nations always triumph. But it’s different in the Euros as shown by unlikely winners such as Denmark (1992) and Greece (2004). So how about Austria pulling off a shock in 2024? They’ve been a breath of fresh air so far and by topping a group featuring France and the Netherlands, they’ve played themselves onto the easier side of the draw (an Austria v England semi-final is possible).

Here’s the match report from their highly-entertaining 3-2 win over the Dutch yesterday.

The lopsided draw explains away the general bafflement about why England are favourites with the bookies. There are better teams on what we’ve seen so far but the odds on England’s main rivals are kept higher due to their more complicated paths to the final. England’s are artificially lower as they avoid most of the big guns and have less to beat.

Euro 2024 odds: 4/1 England, 9/2 Germany, Spain, 5/1 France, 6/1 Portugal, 14/1 Netherlands, 18/1 Belgium, Italy, 25/1 Austria, 40/1 Switzerland, 66/1 Denmark. The rest 100/1 or more.

And what’s that saying about it being better to be a lucky general than a good one? It’s fair to say that England have had some favourable draws throughout tournaments under Gareth Southgate and this one could be the best of the lot. Check your official Euro 2024 bracket and you’ll notice that the top half of the draw is loaded: Spain v Germany and Portugal v France would be the two quarter-finals if it goes to form. England avoid all of that, their only known bottom half foes just a bunch of ski nations: Austria, Switzerland and Italy. Belgium and the Netherlands look set to join them but a pair of past-their-best Low Countries shouldn’t strike any fear into England either. It’s on!

The positive take on England isn’t too far-fetched. This is tournament football. Grinding out results at this stage really isn’t too bad. Portugal drew all three group games when hoisting the silverware in Euro 2016 and their only win in regulation time throughout the whole tournament was a 2-0 success against Wales in the semis. It’s not pretty; let me rephrase that: it’s dull as dishwater. But… England have conceded just a single goal and won the group. Let’s stare at it for a while to soak in that meat and two veg points tally and goal difference.

Gareth Southgate had his diplomacy stretched last night, opting to go with England’s fans creating an ‘unusual environment’ after some lobbed plastic beer cups at him as he went over to applaud following the 0-0 draw. Rather appropriately, none hit the target.

I understand the narrative towards me. That’s better for the team than it being towards them but it is creating an unusual ­environment to operate in. I’ve not seen any other team qualify and receive similar.

What did the England fans make of it in Cologne last night? Microphone in hand, our roving reporter Paul MacIness got in among them.

A withering assessment of Conor Gallagher’s 45-minute performance last night, courtesy of Barney Ronay. It’s hard to disagree.

Gallagher produced one of the most edgy, weird, fretful performances you’re likely to see at this level. It took him 10 minutes 48 seconds to touch the ball. Here is a list of things he did before he touched the ball. He fouled someone. He fell over. He stood in a strange non‑position. By the end of his 45 minutes he had one clearance, two fouls, 13 passes, all of them short and basically just a nervous tic, shuttling the ball away. Gallagher is a muscular runner. But he is basically someone football happens to.

At least England are providing plenty of scope to riff out prog rock/jazz names. Adding to the ‘Trent Alexander Experiment’, we now have the ‘Harry Kane Paradox’. Catch them on Jools Holland soon.

He is of course too good a passer simply to leave him up top and feed off scraps like a cockney Haaland. He is too good a poacher to play as a pure No 10. But he is not currently sharp enough to play both roles in the same phase of play.

How about some England player ratings? These from Jacob Steinberg, who awards four 7s – two being given to substitutes. You can probably guess who got the 4. #failedexperiment

Let’s start with the basics. Here’s David Hytner’s match report from Cologne.

Southgate’s team stabilised and Mainoo’s composure was a part of it.