There was almost a fight before the penalty shootout. There’s some pushing and shoving in the centre circle, with Bentancur involved. Anyway, here we go, Fede Valverde is first up for Uruguay.

“Don’t worry Rob,” says Peter Oh. “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.”

So, a third penalty shootout in four quarter-finals. Brazil lost on penalties to Croatia at the last World Cup but beat Paraguay at this stage of the 2019 Copa. Uruguay have lost their last three shootouts, including the quarter-finals of 2019 and 2021.

90 min There will be five minutes of added toxicity.

89 min Bentancur leaves a bit on Pereira when the ball has long gone. I’ve seen bar-room brawls with more charm than this game.

88 min Valverde’s free-kick hits a defender and goes behind for a corner. Brazil break and Evanilson is shoved over cynically by Caceres. Then Andreas Pereira goes down holding his head. This is miserable.

87 min: Brazil substitutions Gabriel Martinelli and Evanilson replace Rodrygo and Bruno Guimaraes.

87 min “Could this game have the record number of fouls in the tournament,” says Tom Mackintosh. “Or ever? Or the most dives? Or faking injuries?!”

I still have nightmares about being forced to watch the first half of Real Madrid v Barcelona in the 2011 Champions League semi-final. The ball was in play for about four minutes.

86 min Douglas Luiz, on as a sub, has adjusted to the pace of the game: his first act is a foul on de Arrascaeta.

85 min Endrick runs at a backpedalling defence and hits a decent low shot from 20 yards. Rochet dives to his left and holds on.

83 min Rochet goes down and needs treatment. The referee looks at him slightly wearily, unsure whether he’s trying it on, and then tells him he’s stopped the clock.

81 min: Triple substitution for Brazil Douglas Luiz, Andreas Pereira and Savinho replace Lucas Paqueta, Joao Gomes and Raphinha.

81 min Raphinha’s cross is punched away decisively by Rochet. I think Brazil only had one player in the area for that cross.

79 min There’s still no real urgency from Brazil, although they are now camped in the Uruguay half. They have 11 minutes to boot the door down.

77 min: Double substitution for Uruguay Guillermo Varela and Giorgian de Arrascaeta replace Facundo Pellistri and Darwin Nunez. I guess they’ll take their chances of penalties now.

75 min “I feel like what we’re seeing at both Euro and Copa is an inevitable endpoint for the globalisation of football,” says Chris Paraskevas. “There was a time when South American teams played with a distinctive rhythm: something that couldn’t be imitated by European nations. Brazil obviously did it best over such a long period, blending their unique culture with pace, power and of course unmatched skill.

“Their decline is indicative of a wider issue in South American football: players and coaches getting sucked into a European style. Identity crisis doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“Looking around the room, the likes of Chile and Paraguay have gone backwards. Only Argentina have managed to retain the old “coiled spring” routine along whilst modernizing - and that’s down to the underrated management of Scaloni.”

While I know what you mean, it feels like we’ve been having this conversation since Sebastiao Lazaroni played a sweeper system with Brazil at Italia 90. I think the Euros and the Copa America have highlighted two other issues: the schedule – everyone looks shattered – and the brazen cheating.

VAR check for a potential red card Nandez could be off here. It was a bad tackle and Rodrygo’s ankle buckled, so he can have no complaints if he does get sent off..

71 min Nandez is booked for a really bad tackle on Rodrygo, studs into the ankle, yet still has the nerve to look like he’s been wronged. Play some football lads, for heaven’s sake.

70 min Pellistri accidentally steps on the right hand of Arana, who is in pain but soon gets to his feet.

69 min All of a sudden we’re 21 minutes away from a penalty competition. Maybe that’s best for all concerned.

68 min Raphinha tees up Joao Gomes, whose shot from distance is blocked.

66 min: Uruguay substitution Rodrigo Bentancur of Spurs replaces Nicolas de la Cruz.

64 min Joao Gomes is booked for a cynical lunge at Nandez. He’ll miss the semi-final if Brazil get there.

64 min “I forgot,” says Mac Millings, “there’s also a bench.

1. Bruno Guimaraested Development

2. Nahitan Nandez O’Connor

3. Mathias Olivera Lynn

4. Edersonic Youth

5. Eder MilliVanillitao

And still no place for Endrick Astley.

64 min The foul count is Uruguay 20-9 Brazil, which is slightly surprising as it feels like they’ve been as bad as each other.

63 min Valverde blasts over from 25 yards. Well struck, not well placed.

62 min Brazil break three on three but Endrick is very well challenged by Caceres.

62 min “This,” says Joe Pearson, “is delightfully horrible.”

60 min De la Cruz is booked for yet another foul. Uruguay started the second half quite well but the match has regressed in the last five minutes or so. It’s been such a disappointment.

57 min Arana’s cross is miscontrolled by Endrick – it came at a very awkward height – and Uruguay break. Nunez runs Eder Militao, who eventually gets an important tackle in. The ball rolls back to Maxi Araujo (I think), who shoots over from 25 yards.

56 min “I’m not impressed by Endrick,” says Robert Speed. “Only seems to attempt to win fouls.”

I thought the opposite – that he’s trying to make things happen and keeps getting fouled.

55 min Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Shall we just go to penalties now?

53 min Nunez makes a good run into the area, cuts back inside and lashes a wild shot that hits Marquinhos and goes behind for a corner. It’s half cleared to Maxi Araujo, who splashes a half-volley into orbit.

There was a VAR check for a potential handball against Marquinhos, but his arm was close enough to his chest.

52 min Rodrygo runs at Nandez just outside the area and goes down. The referee gives nothing and Dorival Jr marches down the touchline in disgust. He’s got a case: it was a clear foul.

51 min Brazil break from the Uruguay corner and Ugarte is booked for a cynical handball to stop Endrick getting past him.

51 min An early, lofted cross from de la Cruz is headed behind for a corner. Uruguay have started the second half strongly.

50 min “Wow!” says Joe Pearson of Mac Millings’ half-time XI, which must be a first. “Does anyone other than me and John Brewin know who Van der Graaf Generator are?”

They do now!

48 min Valverde has Uruguay’s first shot on target in the match, a swish from distance that is comfortably saved by Alisson.

46 min The first foul of the half takes precisely 60 seconds, Nandez on Joao Gomes.

46 min Peep peep! Darwin Nunez has the first kick of the second half.

Uruguay are making a half-time substitution: Sebastian Caceres is on for the left-back Matias Vina.

“What a contrast from the England v Switzerland quarter-final,” says Liz White. “Collisions! Ball bouncing everywhere! Darwin Nunez! I’m mostly still floating that Canada is in semifinals! The semifinals! Canada! Woot!”

In the circumstances I think we can forgive all the exclamation marks. If Canada attack with the same verve as they did against Venezuela, they’ve got a genuine chance of beating Argentina.

“This game is embarrassing, isn’t it?” says Chris Paraskevas.

It feels like players are trying it on more than ever. When Dani Carvajal was sent off against Germany, an undeniably correct decision, he had the effrontery to look affronted. It’s not just him; loads of players do the same.

Half-time entertainment (sic)

“I made you a Brazil-Uruguay All-time Musicians XI,” says Mac Millings. “I’m sorry. And yes, there are XII of them.

1. Alisson Moyet

2. Danniilo Minogue

3. Marky Marquinhos and the Funky Bunch

4. Douglas Luiz Redknapp

5. Gabrielle

6. Half Manuel Ugarte Half Biscuit

7. Van Der Graphinha Generator

8. Nicolas de la Soul

9. Gabriel Martinelli Furtado

10. Brian Cougar MellenOcampo

11. João Gomez

12. Endrick Lamar

Marky Marquinhos and the Funky Bunch!

45+2 min A quick free-kick from Brazil leads to a half chance for Raphinha, who gets to the bouncing ball just before Vina and pokes a shot that is blocked by Rochet.

43 min A long-range shot from de la Cruz, who has been quite bright, is kicked away.

41 min Now Paqueta is down holding his face. This is getting tedious, lads.

41 min We’ve seen a replay of Raphinha’s chance and it was a really good save from Rochet, who threw out his left hand with almost no reaction time. Raphinha certainly didn’t hit it straight at him.

40 min “In November 2005, Alvaro Recoba said that Uruguay had a ‘divine right’ to qualify for the World Cup,” says James Paraskevas. “They duly lost to Australia in a play off to get to the 2006 World Cup. I actually have no idea what this had to do with the game...I guess I am trying to say - GO URUGUAY!!!!!”

39 min The referee finally whips out his yellow card for the first time when Lucas Paqueta fouls de la Cruz. It was probably a booking but no worse than four or five earlier challenges.

38 min Rodrygo whacks the free-kick into the wall.

37 min Endrick pleads to the referee for justice after being fouled by Nandez 25 yards from goal. He’s been so impressive, one of the calmest players on the pitch.

36 min: Good save by Rochet! Seconds after that Nunez chance, Raphinha almost puts Brazil ahead. He turned Vina beautifully, swerved away from the last man Gimenez on the edge of the area and forced a right-foot shot that was well saved by the outrushing Rochet. Good goalkeeping, though maybe Raphinha could have done better, I’d like to see a replay.

35 min: Great chance for Nunez! That’s the best chance of the first half by a distance. Nandez pinged a fabulous cross from the right that beat Eder Militao and was headed over from six yards by Nunez. The ball was maybe slightly behind him, but he should have hit the target.

33 min: Uruguay substitution Araujo is replaced by the experienced Jose Maria Gimenez.

33 min Araujo’s game is over, probably his tournament too. He stretched to block a cross and jarred his leg when he landed.

31 min Now Ronald Araujo has a problem with his right hamstring, which won’t be so easy to run off. This would be a huge blow to Uruguay.

30 min Nandez goes down in a lot of pain after a clash of legs with Arana. He slams the ground, then looks pleadingly at the referee to ask what kind of world we’re living in. I’m not sure it was a foul by Arana, just a collision. Eventually the pain starts to subside and Nandez gets to his feet.

28 min An exceedingly dodgy backpass from Vina (I think) goes straight to Endrick in the Uruguay area. He decides not to shoot and instead tries to flick the ball across the area to give Raphinha an easier chance; Nandez comes across to make a desperate and vital clearance.

Looking at it again, Endrick should surely have hit that first time.

28 min “G’day Rob,” says Chris Paraskevas. “Hope you’re well / not resorting to intermittent self-applied electro-shock therapy to keep you awake during this month’s “Festival Of Footy” (...I’m at 24 hours and counting!)

“Pop Quiz for our readers out there... who has the lower xG/entertainment value:

1. England at Euro 2024

2. Brazil at Copa America 2024

3. Greece at Euro 2008

“Hint: it’s a trick question.”

26 min There’s a brief spark of excitement when de la Cruz’s free-kick ricochets around the Brazil area, but at least two Uruguay players were offside.

25 min The regular fouls have disrupted the flow of the first half, which so far has promised more than it has delivered. Still no yellow cards, which is a surprise. Joao Gomes could have received one a moment ago for a cynical foul on Pellistri.

22 min Endrick, who looks really sharp, knocks the ball one side of Araujo and runs round the other. Araujo catches up and shoves him over.

18 min De la Cruz’s corner from the right is headed away to Ugarte, 25 yards out. He mishits a volley into the ground that kicks up towards Nunez, whose header hits Eder Militao and goes not far wide.

The resulting corner is curled deep by de la Cruz and headed over Olivera. That wasn’t a bad chance.

18 min Pellistri skips past Arana and drives a low cross that is put behind by Marquinhos. There’s a bit of a scuffle before the corner is taken, sparked by Araujo gratuitously shoving Endrick over as he ran forward. Raphinha, his teammate at Barcelona, then gave him a shove.

The referee settles for a word with both players.

16 min “Both of these countries have proud barbecue traditions so the vigorous challenges can be viewed as meaty, beefy, or sizzling,” writes Peter Oh. “These two really like to get all up in each other’s grill.”

15 min Raphinha’s deep corner is punched away by Rochet.

14 min Bruno Guimares is fouled 30 yards from goal. Raphinha’s free-kick hits the top of the wall and spins behind for a corner, which he’ll take himself…

12 min No chances for either team yet, though Uruguay are having more of the ball. Militao is caught late by de la Cruz, who gets a warning from the referee.

9 min Ugarte puts his fellow No5, Bruno Guimaraes, on the floor. This may not end 11 v 11.

7 min The game is being played at a frantic pace, and there have already been one or two, a-hem, vigorous challenges. Lovers of sporting aggro may be in for a rewarding night.

6 min Ronald Araujo hoofs a crossfield pass straight out of play. What you gotta go do that for Ronnie?

3 min Endrick spins Olivera beautifully in the centre circle and is pulled back. He could have been booked for that.

3 min Uruguay have made a fast start, as expected, harassing Brazil all over the pitch.

2 min A reminder that there’s no extra-time in the quarter- and semi-finals. If the match is level after 90 minutes, it goes straight to penalties.

1 min Endrick has the first kick of what could be a cracking quarter-final. Brazil are kicking from left to right as we watch.

There’s a lovely pre-match embrace between Uruguay manager Marcelo Bielsa and Brazil winger Raphinha, who worked together so thrillingly at Leeds United.

“With Vini Junior suspended, the only number 7 on the pitch is Uruguay’s Nicolas de la Cruzm,” writes Peter Oh. “And there’s no 77 in sight to slot in for a Vegas-style 777. For what it’s worth, Araújo’s 20 beats Brazil in blackjack.”

Ten minutes to kick-off. Let’s have a reminder of the teams, shall we.

Uruguay (4-3-3) Rochet; Nandez, R Araujo, M Olivera, Vina; Valverde, Ugarte, de la Cruz; Pellistri, Nunez, M Araujo.
Substitutes: Mele, Israel, Olaza, Varela, Gimenez, Caceres, Marichal, De Arrascaeta, Bentancur, Rodriguez, Martinez, Suarez, Canobbio, Ocampo, C Olivera.

Brazil (4-3-3) Alisson; Danilo, Marquinhos, Eder Militao, Arana; Joao Gomes, Bruno Guimaraes, Lucas Paqueta; Raphinha, Endrick, Rodrygo.
Substitutes: Rafael Monteiro, Bento, Wendell, Gabriel, Bremer, Yan Couto, Lucas Beraldo, Andreas Pereira, Douglas Luiz, Ederson Silva, Pepe, Evanilson, Martinelli, Savio.

Here’s an interview from last year with Endrick, the precocious teenager who starts up front for Brazil tonight.

“Late night again?” asks Joe Pearson. “Have you recently developed insomnia? This has the potential to be an absolute cracker!”

I quite enjoy doing overnight games, though they do come with the risk of falling asleep on the keyboooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A fixture between Uruguay and Brazil evokes one match in particular: the Maracanazo. If you’re not familiar with the final game of the 1950 World Cup, it’s a helluva story.

The winners of this game will play Colombia in the semi-finals. They hammered Panama 5-0 in their quarter-final, with James Rodriguez again to the fore.

Rob will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s a quick preview of tonight’s game from Reuters:

Uruguay coach Marcelo Bielsa has urged his side to come out determined to gain the upper hand when they take on Brazil.

Uruguay, who won all three of their group matches and scored eight goals to finish top of Group C, will be hoping to progress to the semi-finals and the coach will be looking to implement his high-pressing attacking style against the Brazilians.

“Normally I focus on the sector of the pitch we play in, how we recover the ball, whether we threaten and how we threaten, and whether the way we build the attack is the style I want the team to play,” Bielsa told a news conference on Friday.

The coach also said that the suspended Vinicius Jr’s absence from the Brazil team won’t be a factor in their strategy, and described him as the best winger in the world.

“Personally, I don’t think his absence will affect us. Brazil are a country that has a lot of wingers at both ends of the pitch at the moment, and they play in big teams all over the world. Brazil’s replacement, Endrick, will not be easy to neutralise in Vinicius’ absence.”

Bielsa, who missed the 1-0 win over the United States after being suspended by Conmebol, added his absence was irrelevant as their opponents only threatened in the final 10 minutes: “If I had been on the pitch, the result would not have been any better.”