Right, the hour is with us, and Rob Smyth will doing an almighty haul on England v Netherlands in the live blog. We’ll be back tomorrow with tales of battles either won or lost. Let’s do this, England.

The song that’s not been heard that much this tournament.

Today’s Football Daily on what awaits tonight in Dortmund.

More on the wider football world, with Wales also apppointing a new manager in Craig Bellamy. From Ben Fisher.

Bellamy’s overarching aim is to help Wales to the 2026 World Cup. He is a magnetic, patriotic and complex character and an hour in his company at Hensol Castle, on the outskirts of Cardiff, flies by as he discusses everything from the Owain Glyndŵr tattoo celebrating Wales’s 15th-century victory over England at the Battle of Pilleth on his right arm and his mental wellbeing to the erosion of some footballing fundamentals. “I think you need to move away from formations, need to start looking at football differently, we don’t play formations, we play shapes,” he says. “The idea is: ‘Can I create an extra player in a part of the field where you [the opposition] don’t have it?’”

Krishna gets in touch: “The only positive news I heard the whole day is that Rob Smyth is responsible for the MBM tonight. I can’t think of a better choice who can make an England match, this England side, interesting.”

In Rob we trust.

Eric Devin with more on France’s demise. Announce: Zidane?

I thought it was loud when it was the Turkish in town.

Philippe Auclair is philosophical after France’s grand départ.

“Citizens” is the all-important word here. Though they’re now careful to dispense with openly racist rhetoric in public, French right-wing extremists are quick to suggest that many – far too many, mon bon Monsieur – of the footballers who have given their country so much joy over the last three decades somehow do not really represent the “real France”. The words and action of Mbappé and his teammates in Germany demonstrated that the exact opposite is true: they spoke as true sons of the République. The “real” France is theirs too.

In other news, a shock appointment by the Republic of Ireland.

The clock is running down on this blog and it isn’t going anywhere so, as a nod to Gareth, let’s make an overdue change. My number is up and on comes John Brewin.

Let’s wind forward from Rotterdam ‘93 to Wembley ‘96 and a much happier time for England. That was the last occasion England played the Netherlands in a major tournament, the hosts winning convincingly thanks to two goals apiece from Alan Shearer and Teddy Sheringham in a 4-1 rout.

Both teams were pretty much guaranteed qualification to the quarter-finals of Euro 96 but the emphatic group win for Terry Venables’s players at least helped exorcise the wretched memory of their dismal performance against the Dutch at Euro 1988, when Marco van Basten helped himself to a hat-trick in a 3-1 Holland win.

The Guardian’s David Lacey reported on that fixture but his match report from Wembley in 1996 (below) would have been a happier read for England fans, Lacey saying: “Wembley hugged itself, as much in disbelief as sheer joy. The Dutch supporters, as disbelieving, were silent.”

He also noted that Dennis Bergkamp missed chance after chance and the Dutch were “not so much outplayed as outgunned,” as two goals apiece from Shearer and Sheringham “simply blew Holland away.”

Paul Gascoigne’s performance also got a mention from Lacey, who said the attacking midfielder “revelled in everything”.

The biggest losers of the evening were arguably Scotland, who, despite beating Switzerland 1-0 at Villa Park (McCoist 36th minute), failed to qualify from the group. Patrick Kluivert’s late goal for the Dutch against England at Wembley meant they progressed at the expense of Craig Brown’s men, who had the same points total and goal difference as the Dutch, but had scored fewer goals.

David Seaman’s positioning here really is remarkable.

A reminder that we haven’t seen a single free-kick scored in this tournament while there was only one in Euro 2020 – erm, against England in the semi-final (Mikkel Damsgaard for Denmark).

Rick Harris has an idea why. “One thing I have noticed in recent World Cup and European Championship tournaments is that the official match balls no longer swerve and dip bizarrely like they used to. I remember as a football mad 15 year old in 1970 when they used the Adidas Telstar 32 panel leather ball and you could buy cheap plastic replicas that when struck hard had a weird dip in mid-flight. We no longer have the excitement of the unpredictable movement of a long range shot and associated goalkeeper fumbles or puzzled expression as the ball isn’t where they thought it would be, but in the net behind them.”

And, of course, mention of Koeman must lead us to this. “Linesman … linesman … what sort of thing is happening here?”

An now our resident cartoonist, David Squires, with a look at England’s run to the semis and some potential karma for Ronald Koeman.

Here’s Bart Vlietstra on the somewhat enigmatic Xavi Simons, a likely starter against England tonight.

“Simons has always been a precocious player with something irresistible about him. He had more than one million followers on Instagram when he was a youth player at Barcelona and is now up to 5.9 million. As a comparison the Liverpool player Cody Gakpo – who has been outstanding at the Euros – has 1.8 million.”

Jeremy Boyce emails in with some possible outcomes on tonight’s match.

“As an Englishman living in France and being fairly unpopular in the bar early doors last night for correctly predicting a Spain win by 1 goal without extra time or pens I am feeling fairly smug. Like Des Brown (13:45pm entry), I have little idea about tonight other than 3 possibilities:

1. Holland have a playtime with the England defence and Jordan doesn’t get to do his water bottle thing.

2. England manage to grind them for 119 minutes then ‘Arry arses in his most important ever goal for his country.

3. England manage to grind them for 120 minutes, then Jordan gets to to his bottle thing and Ivan does his “no-look” thing but it’s all for nothing as we go out on pens.”

Hmmm. I see a straightforward option 4. England winning on penalties. I quite like the David Platt v Belgium idea of option 2. but Southgate has got this spot-kick thing sussed hasn’t he, what with the buddy system and Toney spreading alpha-invincibility vibes.

Virg has been getting a bit of stick in some quarters but the fans still love him.

Thanks John. You’ve probably seen this Ivan Toney ‘no look’ tweet but it is very good. And he pulls it off well. Looks like a good man to have around the camp but should he be getting more minutes? Tempting to say yes.

Handing back to Dave for a short while. Inundate him.

Was in this square myself in the first week of the tournament. Lovely in the sunshine.

Stephen Grundy gets in touch: “As a Scot who predicted England to win the tournament, I feel like Barry Glendenning & have almost accepted that England will somehow win the Euros.

“The only hope I can give my fellow Scots and Irish friends is that the last time England had a Charles on the throne, they were soundly defeated by the Dutch…”

Crikey.

Des Brown gets in touch: “I’ve no idea who will win tonight, though the Netherlands do appear to be favourites (they have a better record against England and the vast majority of the fans in the stadium will be Dutch - it will be like a home game in Amsterdam).

“However, it’s worth remembering the last time the two teams met in the Euros - 1996 at Wembley - the Netherlands were also the favourites. After all, the Dutch side had been semi finalists at Euro 92 and quarter finalists at the 1994 World Cup. England, on the other hand, had exited Euro 92 in the group stages without winning a game and didn’t even qualify for the 1994 World Cup. England ended up beating the Netherlands 4-1.”

England owed them a couple by this point:

1993…

and 1988

Philipp Lahm, the tournament director of Euro 2024, pens a tribute to a finalist who made the most of their time in Germany.

Inge Kersten gets in touch: “I never thought I’d see the Snollebollekes in the Guardian. I actually prefer this vid as you can see the audience. This is at the Vierdaagsefeesten in Nijmegen, the biggest(over 1.5 m. visitors?) free party of the Netherlands surrounding the Nijmegen 4 day marches(around 45000 participants from around 70 countries). The march starts on Tuesday but the party starts on Saturday but should we make the final then the traditional fireworks on Sunday evening will be pushed back untill after the match. Fingers crossed! PS Rob Kemps is more an entertainer then a singer, but he’s also into french chansons...”

News from the Copa América. Mug’s game and all that.

Tom Leighton gets in touch: “Good luck with the live blog today. Looking at the Golden Boot rankings yesterday, I was surprised to see France get so far in the competition with so few goals. I know they are out now but what is the lowest number of goals a team has scored to get through to the final? It also got me wondering, who is the highest ranked golden boot scorer purely on own goals? And do own goals count?”

Greece scored seven to win Euro 2004 – in six matches – a 16-team tournament. Though Portugal, who lost both their opening match and the final to Greece, scored just eight. The Czech Republic scored just seven goals to reach the Euro 96 final. Spain scored eight to reach Euro 2012’s final, where they scored four against Italy – they had already scored four against Ireland. Italy had scored six.

Of 24-team tournaments, there’s only been two completed so far: France scored 13 goals to lose as hosts in 2016. Portugal scored eight in six matches to get there and won, predictably, 1-0. Italy scored 12 to get to Wembley at Euro 2020, and England scored ten, having only scored twice in the groups.

Spain have scored 13 to reach Berlin. The Dutch have scored nine ahead of the semi, and England have scored so far. A 1-0 win for England could complete the lowest-scoring route to the final yet.

Since 1984 and Michel Platini’s unbeatable nine in five matches then the top scorer has usually been on five goals, save for Antoine Griezmann’s six in 2016. There’s five players on three goals in 2024 with Dani Olmo and Cody Gakpo with chances of the Golden Boot still alive. Mind, anyone who scores a hat-trick is in with a chance.

Own-goals? Anyone got the answer there?

Thanks, Dave. No, I don’t mind a bit of Eurovision, even if it has gone a bit silly in recent years. I’m a man of the old-school, like this first ever nul pointer from Norway. Jahn Tiegen, a true genius.

I do prefer ill-fated British entries, like Love City Groove’s rather, er, urban entry in 1995.

Gina G began Australia’s encroachment into this cultural jewel.

Or Scott Fitzgerald from 1988. Went on to play for Wimbledon…

And on that bombshell, I’ll hand over the blog to John Brewin. Not a Eurovision fan as far as I know but I could be wrong.

Breaking: the fun fact about the four semi-finalists of Euro 2024 being the joint winners of Eurovision 1969 has been exposed as false.

Antony T writes: “I have an official quibble. At first I thought the semis having those 4 teams could be like “the real quiz” of throwing stuff over pubs in The Office . But then I realised it is complete bollocks as Lulu is Scottish. Making this semi final scenario of the 4 impossible to ever happen. Ever. Cheers.”

Good ‘shout’, Antony. The UK entrant that year was indeed Lulu, who is still very Scottish. And full of beans (I saw her on a cookery programme last week).

If you’ve not listened yet, check out the latest Football Daily podcast. Reflections on Spain v France and a look ahead to Netherlands v England.

Cast list
Max Rushden – host
Philippe Auclair – French football expert
Semra Hunter – Spanish football expert
Barry Glendenning – neutral expert

Latest live news from Dortmund via Paul MacInnes with kick-off just over eight hours away…

In the bars. Oranje. In the streets. Oranje. In the parks. Oranje. Popping up around the corner. Oranje. Dortmund has turned completely orange ahead of the semi-final tonight and there’s still eight hours until kick off.

England fans, where you can find them, are shaking their heads. “I’ve never seen us outnumbered like this”, was the sentiment I got from more than one supporter, in fact even the Football Supporters’ Association. At every previous fixture there’s been one square (shrinking as time has gone on, to be fair) which is full of St George’s flags, but not here.

There’s a simple reason why, of course. While two guys I spoke to from Exeter had been travelling since yesterday afternoon, and their party included a bloke from the tip of the Cornish peninsula who’d been on the go since 7 on Tuesday morning, for many Dutch fans Dortmund is just a hop, skip and a jump from home. Not only does that mean a shorter, easier journey, but lower costs too.

There’s more to it that than that though. The Dutch have come prepared, with a number of mobile discos, loads of bits of paraphernalia and, of course, a preferred uniform. And they’re also prepared to go long; they’ve been dancing in the streets since 10am and are planning to start their fabled fan march at half past four, still several hours before the match at 9pm.

There has been much talk of an ‘orange wall’ at the BVB stadium tonight, but looking at the crowds that might end up being walls plural. In England’s matches to this point, the massed and organised support of both the Danes and the Swiss have clearly raised the levels of their team’s performance at key moments. Looking at the tangerine tide spreading out across Dortmund right now, it will surely prove a factor again tonight.

A couple more Johnny Rep-inspired emails.

Charles Antaki: “That French Johnny Rep song has a nice bit of accordion in it – not something we’re used to over here. Trying to find something similar in British pop didn’t get me very far, but I did come across this use of the melodica, which, if you have the stamina to sit through, is a pretty good aural representation of what the French team have been like in this tournament: well-organised but thin, repetitive and ultimately pointless.”

Simon McMahon: “Hi David. I was six and a half in 1978 and have vague memories of watching Scotland v Iran in Argentina, though of course Archie Gemmill’s goal against Holland is etched into the memory of every Scotland fan. Typically, our dreams were crushed minutes later when Rep scored from distance. Who’d have thought, 46 years later, that Scotland would still be waiting to make it beyond the group stage in the finals of a major tournament? Actually, don’t answer that. England fans, it might not always feel like it, but you don’t know how lucky you are.”

Bobby Robson and Terry Venables, both mentors to Gareth Southgate, got very different results against the Dutch in 1988 and 1996. Louise Taylor looks back to compare and contrast.

Of course, Lamine Yamal’s wonder goal and display against France sparked a series of age-related gags on X. Some contributions here from a couple of Guardian Football Weekly favourites.

Lamine Yamal’s heroics last night didn’t go unnoticed by another precocious talent who also shocked the sporting world at the age of 16. Not sure this was Luke’s own work though.

The Dutch are having fun on a bus. A fun bus. An Oranje fun bus.

“Performing on the parade will be Rob Kemps, 38, a comedian-cum-lead singer of Snollebollekes, whose 2015 party song, Links Rechts (Left Right), has been the theme tune of the nation’s tournament.”

Here’s some footage of Rob, a sort of cross between a holiday rep and a Dutch tennis player who lost in straight sets in round two at Wimbledon.

More Johnny Rep now and the ending to this tale is very Dutch.

Arjan de Jong emails: “I’m too young to remember Jonny Rep in his pomp but as one of the mythical members of the 70s vintage was thrilled to meet him in the mid 80s in the changing rooms when he was playing for provincial club PEC Zwolle. Once the game had finished my uncle marched myself and cousin straight down the tunnel and into the changing rooms where Jonny was happy to discuss the prospects of regaining his place for Oranje. It won’t surprise you to learn that he rated his prospects as nil due to ‘previous’ with the then coach. Hup Holland, Arjan.”

Of course, Scots fans of a certain vintage will remember Rep all too well. This was a scorcher and the timing was key too, coming just four minutes after THAT goal from Archie Gemmill which had put Scotland 3-1 up and on the brink of gaining the three-goal margin of victory they needed to reach the second round. You can read more about it here from Scott Murray’s live report from, erm, 2020 when things got strange during lockdown.

On a great night for Spain, they could have done without this.

Reflections from Barney Ronay after France crashed out against Spain.

“France never played like pre-tournament favourites across their six matches in Germany. Here they were beaten by a superior team, far more incisive in their attacking, and supremely good at controlling the midfield. Defeat by Spain is one thing. This felt like something else too, perhaps even a passing on for the strangulation-football of the mature Didier Deschamps era.”

Our roving reporter, Paul MacInnes, is live in Germany. What’s the word on the street?

The Dutch are already at it in Dortmund, in their fancy dress, launching confetti bombs and playing godawful techno versions of songs about Johnny Rep from a pick-up truck disco. In terms of fans, this is like Dutch 19 England 0. Though I did just see Big Ben Foster going for a jog straight through the crowds.

Sounds like hell Paul. Much prefer this French Johnny Rep ditty, a tribute to his time at Saint Etienne in the late 70s/early 80s.

Is it wrong to feel a bit short-changed about the Golden Boot race in this year’s Euros? Where’s that six-goal striker we all crave? The leaders this year are only on three although Dani Olmo is in pole due to providing more assists. Spaniards won the Golden Boot in 2008 (David Villa with four) and 2012 (Fernando Torres with a paltry three) so maybe that bodes well for Spain given that they went on to lift the trophy in both those editions. Maybe Harry Kane (2 goals so far), Jude Bellingham (2) or Cody Gakpo (3) can shake things up tonight?

Pretty remarkable what AI can churn out these days. Except this is real!

On email, krishnamoorthy v sees the pics and notes the timing after Messi’s goal helped Argentina overcome Canada in their Copa América semi-final last night: “Morning David, both ‘men’ powered their respective teams to the finals.”

Staying with the obscure…

Bit of a niche thought but Musical Youth seem to have the semi-finals well covered.

“Can’t drink, can’t smoke. Can’t drive, can’t vote. Can curl a football into the top corner.” That’s how Sid Lowe starts his column on Lamine Yamal after the 16-year-old’s sensational performance against France.

Now some proper tactical analysis from Jonathan Wilson as he runs his giant brain over Netherlands v England. Some good airport reads in this lot: ‘The Dumfries protocol’, ‘The Gakpo gamble’ and ‘The Kane question’.

If this all comes down to marginal gains, could some Dutch travel disruption prove decisive? Not according to Gareth Southgate, who glossed over it with this comment. “I don’t see that having any impact on the game. We don’t play till nine o’clock tomorrow, so there’s plenty of time. I’m sure they’ll still get their dinner.” Here’s the story from Reuters. Planes, Trains and … if only they had a pair of twins called Van Driel.

The Netherlands had their travel to Dortmund on Tuesday for the European Championship semi-final against England disrupted and were forced to abandon their plans to travel by train, the Dutch Football Association (KNVB) said.

Instead, they had to fly to Dortmund from their base in Wolfsburg, arriving at their hotel at 21h35, some four hours later than planned. “The train service was cancelled due to a blockage on the route,” the KNVB said.

They planned to travel at 1600 local time but then had to change plans and take a plane to Dortmund, where they are staying overnight before the game on Wednesday. It meant the pre-match press conference with coach Ronald Koeman was cancelled.

The Dutch had not planned a training session at the stadium, having completed their preparations in Wolfsburg earlier on Tuesday.

Let’s get an early bit of England build-up in the blog with this scene-setter from our man in Dortmund, Jacob Steinberg.

“Can he win the tactical battle? Can England finally click in attack and make it to Berlin? Can they respond if the tide turns in the second half? If not, the Southgate era will be over.”

“This is just one more sign that this is an insatiable team that wants to keep improving,” said Spain boss Luis de la Fuente, somewhat ominously, after the victory over France. Quotes here, including one about wanting to keep Lamine Yamal’s feet on the ground.

That was a cracker, wasn’t it. Especially the first 25 minutes when the lead changed hands twice, the second time for good. Here’s Jonathan Liew’s match report from Munich.