More reaction and analysis here:

England were in trouble this morning when they lost Ollie Pope and Harry Brook in the first half hour, but they recovered superbly from 54 for 5 to reach 376. Jamie Smith struck a thrilling 95 before falling to a grubber from Shamar Joseph and there were half-centuries for Joe Root, Ben Stokes and Chris Woakes.

The two late wickets made it truly, madly, deeply England’s day. All things being equal, they’ll wrap up a 3-0 win tomorrow.

13th over: West Indies 30-2 (Louis 18, Athanaze 2) Bashir hurries through his over, a maiden to Louis, to ensure there’s time for one more from Wood.

12th over: West Indies 30-2 (Louis 18, Athanaze 2) Wood bursts consecutive deliveries past Louis’ outside edge. That’s a helluvan over; apparently Wood has now gone past the edge 40 times in this series, and he didn’t play the first game.

Louis is not out! It’s umpire’s call – hitting about 48 per cent of leg stump – so Louis survives. The barest of margins and all that.

England review for LBW! Louis is sent flying by a sizzling yorker from Wood that hits him on the boot, deflects onto the back leg and knocks him off his feet. Adrian Holdstock says not out but England are going upstairs. This is seriously close.

11th over: West Indies 27-2 (Louis 16, Athanaze 1) Bashir has a slip, gully and short leg for Athanaze, who has looked assured in defence during his short time at the crease. He has 1 from 17 balls, Louis 16 from 26.

10th over: West Indies 26-2 (Louis 15, Athanaze 1) Imagine how tough it must be to face Mark Wood at the fag end of a day like this, and a series like this. Nothing to gain, only your wicket to lose and maybe some teeth.

Louis and Athanaze get diligently in line, each wearing a delivery somewhere around the thigh or stomach. Just a leg-bye from the over.

9th over: West Indies 25-2 (Louis 15, Athanaze 1) Ben Stokes decides that Shoaib Bashir should be the first-change bowler today. That’s a nice move at a time when Louis and Athanaze will be reluctant to take risks, so in theory England can crowd them.

Louis pushes successive deliveries just short of Pope at short leg, then takes an exceedingly dodgy single to mid-off. Duckett’s throw misses the stumps with Louis scrambling to make his ground. Replays show he would just have been safe even with a direct hit.

Now for Mark Wood.

8th over: West Indies 24-2 (Louis 14, Athanaze 1) Alec Bedser’s 24 wickets against India in 1946 are the most by an England bowler in a debut series of three Tests or fewer. I think.

What I know for sure is that Atkinson is on the hunt for his 22nd, with four slips and a gully waiting for anything off the edge. Not in that over. Louis was dropped by Stokes but has otherwise played well, while Athanaze looks intent on survival.

“Mark Butcher, and Chris Woakes, would be up there on my list of all-time favourite likeable cricketers, which could be a pretty lengthy list if I thought about it properly,” says Simon McMahon. “Which I haven’t. Not favourite cricketers per se, but you get my gist. Might not top the averages, but score extremely highly on the likeability/quirkiness index. David Lloyd, Derek Randall, Darren Gough, that kind of thing.”

7th over: West Indies 23-2 (Louis 13, Athanaze 1) A maiden from Woakes to Athanaze, who will not want a promising series to end with three single-figures scores in a row.

6th over: West Indies 23-2 (Louis 13, Athanaze 1) It’s only day two you know.

5th over: West Indies 19-1 (Louis 12, McKenzie 6) Ben Stokes has dropped his second catch in as many Tests! Louis thumped Woakes in the air towards mid-off, where Stokes swooped to his right and barely laid a hand on the ball. It came at a slightly awkward height but for Stokes it was a sitter.

“You cannot do that Ben Stokes!” puns Gary Naylor.

4th over: West Indies 16-1 (Louis 9, McKenzie 6) Louis fences Atkinson for three, a not entirely convincing shot, before McKenzie is beaten by a beauty.

In the first innings McKenzie tried to hit his way back into form. Tonight, possibly because it’s not long till the close, he’s attacking only the bad balls. Atkinson gives him one – Gary, put the Carry On DVDs away - and McKenzie crashes a cut for four.

3rd over: West Indies 9-1 (Louis 6, McKenzie 2) Louis tries to drive Woakes and inside-edges the ball onto his back leg and away for four. That could easily have splattered the stumps.

England are all over West Indies, a complete reversal of the first hour of play.

2nd over: West Indies 4-1 (Louis 1, McKenzie 2) The England cordon England go up for LBW when Atkinson’s first ball thuds into Louis’ pad. Atkinson turns on his heels, content it was missing leg. It was a no-ball anyway.

Later in the over McKenzie, who has had a rough series, edges Atkinson wide of gully for a couple.

1st over: West Indies 0-1 (Louis 0, McKenzie 0) Two weeks ago Chris Woakes was past it, a has-been, a disgrace. Funny how things work out.

The players are back out on the field

West Indies have an hour to bat tonight and not much to gain.

“Don’t mention Ireland v Zimbabwe; I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it,” says Romeo. “29 for 5 after seven overs.”

75th over: England 364-9 (Atkinson 9, Bashir 0) Bashir survives a run-out chance when an overzealous Da Silva doesn’t take the ball cleanly. Had he done so the innings would have been over. In Da Silva’s defence it wasn’t a great throw.

“One point in Jonny Bairstow’s favour is that he has two centuries in away Ashes Tests, whereas members of the current XI have made one between them, Ben Stokes’ counterattacking effort in Perth all of 11 years ago,” says Tim Sanders. “ Rob Key’s remark on selecting the team for this series was that ‘Jonny needs to get back to what he was a couple of years ago’, so certainly not a conclusive omission. If Jonny has the appetite for yet another comeback, then I can certainly see him back in the squad, even if not the first choice XI.”

Yes, a fit Jonny is perfect for Australian conditions and it’s conceivable his struggles this year are down to burnout rather than the residual impact of that horrific injury. As you say, if he scores big runs in first-class cricket next summer he’d be the perfect back-up for Nos4-7. It’s more that I can’t see a position in the middle order opening up. But cricket moves in mysterious ways and future line-ups should be written in pencil. Take, for example, Haseeb Hameed’s unforeseeable collapse in form in 2017.

74th over: England 363-9 (Atkinson 8, Bashir 0) Bashir top-edges a short-ball from Joseph just over th ehead of Holder at leg slip.

“What a position to be in!” says Gary Naylor, who’s been at the Carry On films again. “From 54 for 5 this morning, England have an hour or so in the evening when it doesn’t matter whether they’re batting or bowling, they’re equally happy. I never saw it coming, but this Bazball is the best way to play this ancient game.”

Drinks While the players receive the necessary electrolytes, here’s the unplayable delivery that did for Jamie Smith on 95.

73rd over: England 359-8 (Woakes 58, Atkinson 8) I’m trying to think of players who were dismissed in the nineties early in their Test career, looked sure to get a hundred at some stage but never did for one reason or another. Chris Smith? Michael Bevan? Martyn Moxon? Ashton Agar? Hang on, I’ve got it: Bruce Laird. (Though he did make some seriously good WSC hundreds.)

72nd over: England 358-8 (Woakes 57, Atkinson 8) A pair of twos take Woakes to a typically unobtrusive fifty on his home ground. That’s a nice moment for a remarkably decent human being who has been through a lot this summer.

He celebrates by hammering a beautiful on-the-up cover drive for four. The last 10 overs have disappeared for 71.

71st over: England 347-8 (Woakes 46, Atkinson 8) Atkinson slaps Motie decisively to the cover boundary, then squirts two to third man. England lead by 65.

“On TMS, Smith was just described as a ‘big man’,” says Ian Copestake, “before a Michael Caine impression kicked in, offering a timely warning against those seeing him in Gilchristian terms: ‘But you’re in bad shape. With me it’s a full-time job. Now behave yourself.’”

70th over: England 341-8 (Woakes 46, Atkinson 2) Oof, a leading edge from Woakes loops slowly over Shamar’s head and lands safely.

“Ireland need 158 to get their second Test win,” writes Romeo of the concurrent Test in Belfast, “and have about 125 overs to get them in if it doesn’t rain.”

Since Romeo sent that email, Richard Ngarava has dismissed Peter Moor and Curtis Campher with successive deliveries. Ireland are 6 for 2.

A cutter from Shamar Joseph kept grotesquely low, beat Smith’s attempted pull and clonked the off stump. Smith was blameless and walks off to a fine ovation; he made a scintillating 95 from 109 balls with 12 fours and one humongous six.

69th over: England 337-7 (Smith 95, Woakes 45) Smith, six away from a hundred, walks down the track to Motie’s first two deliveries. The ball isn’t quite there so he pushes it safely into the off side, then waves a single later in the over. Five away.

“Has YJB’s time as an. England player come and gone?” says John Starbuck. “He’d have to see a fair few injuries to others before being slotted back again in an England team.”

I think so, certainly in Test cricket. You can never be totally sure with Jonny – he could start next summer with five consecutive 80-ball hundreds for Yorkshire – but it’s hard to see a way back.

One way might be a reshuffle if Ollie Pope struggles: Root and Brook move up one, Jonny comes in at No5 and parties like it’s 2022. But I can’t see it.

68th over: England 336-7 (Smith 94, Woakes 45) Shamar Joseph starts a new spell with a poor ball that is clipped easily through midwicket for four by Smith. He’s into the nineties.

Woakes thumps three more through extra cover; England have scored 49 in the last six overs.

67th over: England 327-7 (Smith 88, Woakes 42) Another tight over from Motie, who has at least restored a bit of order. But England lead by 45 and West Indies are currently being played by William H Macy (Fargo version).

On Gilchrist, the sight of him walking to the crease at 350 for 5, with England’s bowlers on their last legs, made me think of this scene from A Room for Romeo Brass (contains swearing)

66th over: England 325-7 (Smith 87, Woakes 41) There’s a break in play while the ball is changed for the 473rd time in the series. It’s all the same to Smith, who pulls Seales mightily over midwicket for four more. He plays that shot with savage intent.

“Early days yet and one doesn’t want to come over all Lieutenant George in one’s enthusiasm,” writes Gary Naylor, before doing just that, “but is this the New Gilchrist? If there’s any fatigue in mind or body, Jamie Smith’s hitting is going to exploit it ruthlessly to create and then extend leads. This is looking like some very hard yakka for the West Indies.”

Too early. I’m reserving judgement until he’s played at least 10 Tests, though I will say that IT’S ONLY BLOODY WELL COM- he looks potentially the best counter-attacking No7 I’ve seen in an England shirt. Jonny Bairstow played some gems in that position but most of his violent masterpieces were at No5. Matt Prior did too; we forget how tremendous he was for four or five years. But Smith is more punishing.

65th over: England 316-7 (Smith 81, Woakes 39) Motie returns, just in time to see the horse gambol over the horizon. A good, accurate over is played respectfully; thus the orgy of boundaries comes to an end.

“I went to Headingley last night and watched the Northern Superchargers get mullered by Trent Rockets,” writes Tom Van der Gucht. “It was also the first time I’ve seen Sam Hain in action and I liked what I saw. Has the shortfrom set-up somehow lost focus of the balance of a team in search of increasing muscle power. Hain looked the real deal in terms of rotating the strike at a high strike rate – like Joe Root used to (and Malan) before being binned off for biffers.

“Hopefully, Flintoff got a good look of what he’s got to offer so when he invariably takes over the ODI set-up, he’ll get him back involved – unless Freddie’s dodgy tenure with the Superchargers blots his copy book and it goes to Morgan instead.”

He might get a proper chance in the next year or so, certainly in the T20 team as England should have at least one top-order vacancy.

64th over: England 315-7 (Smith 80, Woakes 39) Woakes drives Seales superbly through the covers to make it five boundaries in eight balls. Smith makes it six in ten with another muscular pull stroke. Sheesh he can hit a ball.

“You are right about Ramprakash in 91,” says Marcus Abdullahi, “but there was nothing more Rampsian than his dismissal at the Oval when England needed 1 to win – LBW to Clayton Lambert for 19. This was Lambert’s only Test wicket in a bowling career of precisely 10 balls.”

And then two weeks later, when he was supposed to cash in against a weak Sri Lanka, he fell for a five-ball duck to bloody Chandika Hathurusingha. Should still have played in New Zealand that winter though, and omitting him did more damage than England realised at the time.

63rd over: England 304-7 (Smith 74, Woakes 34) Take your short-ball plan and stick it in the recycling: Jamie Smith has just pulled Alzarri Joseph for three fours in the over. The first was dumped imperiously through midwicket, the second helped round the corner and the third slammed past mid-on. “Oh wow…” moaned Mark Butcher on commentary as the third.

Woakes makes it 17 from the over with a top-edged smear. This isn’t good from the West Indies. But it’s damn good from Smith, who is making it very hard not to get carried away.

“Rob, Roberto, Robinho, El Roberiño if you’re not into the whole brevity thing,” begins Felix Wood. “What’s the thinking from the Windies here? Motie looked like taking a wicket every ball, why is he not bowling. Also, as a Surrey fan, and mindful of The Curse, let me tell you that Jamie Smith is Tha Sheeit. That short-arm jab for six is a trademark.”

How good a keeper can he become? Stewart/Prior level?

62nd over: England 287-7 (Smith 61, Woakes 30) England have been very comfortable since the restart. The short ball ploy hasn’t troubled anyone yet and it might be time to get Gudakesh Motie back into the attack. If West Indies aren’t careful this could turn into one of those horrible evening sessions: concede too many to the lower order, then lose two or three wickets in 30 minutes of mayhem.

61st over: England 284-7 (Smith 59, Woakes 29) Time for a bit of short stuff from Alzarri Joseph. The first ball is fractionally too straight, which allows Woakes to hit it round the corner for four. A single brings up an assured fifty partnership, then a square drive for two puts England in the lead. They were 54 for 5; now they’re 284 for 7 and you can do your own maths.

“On our Ramps theme,” begins Ian Copestake. “I see that almost hilariously his Wiki page cites the important detail of his nicknames and include the following list that ultimately backs your very point: ‘Ramps, Bloodaxe, The Hips, Twenties’.”

Ian have you been violatng Wikipedia pages again.

60th over: England 276-7 (Smith 58, Woakes 22) It looks a good time tbowl, though we don’t really know because Jayden Seales wasn’t quite on the money in the first over of the session.

The players are wandering back onto the field. The delay means play will continue until around 6.50pm.

Edit: play will not restart at 4.15pm. It’s raining again, albeit very lightly. Shouldn’t be long.

Play will restart at 4.15pm

“Wotcha, Smythers,” says Ian Copestake. “ Your admirable positivity towards Woakes in praising the value of his scores in the 20s and 30s did however trigger nostalgic regret that a similar record did not have the same outcome for Mark Ramprakash.”

And yet, weirdly, some of Ramps’ best Test innings were between 21 and 29. He batted so well in the summer of 1991. I’d love to jump through the sliding door and see how his career would have panned out had England not left him out in New Zealand in 1991-92.

McCullum on the Warpath

“Inspired by your Kipling adaptation,” begins Brian Withington, “we find our hero at the gates of Harfleur the Hollies.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

Or close the wall up with our English dead

In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man

As modest stillness and humility

But when the blast of war blows in our ears,

Then get your feet up on the balcony

Tim Sanders wins our impromptu quiz The last England wicketkeeper to make a Test hundred was Ollie Pope on that record-breaking first day at Rawalpindi in 2022.

Pop quiz, hotshots Who was the last designated wicketkeeper to score a Test hundred for England?

58th over: England 269-7 (Smith 53, Woakes 20) Smith walks at Holder and gets a big inside-edge onto pad that lands safely. He steers a single, then Woakes glides two to bring the deficit down to 13.

Holder is struggling, possibly with his back, and his body language isn’t troubling the Carpe Diemometer™. I was going to say it’s been a long tour, which is clearly hasn’t. But it’s been a grueling one, especially for the quicks.

57th over: England 266-7 (Smith 52, Woakes 18) Alzarri Joseph replaces Seales, beats Smith and then induces an inside-edge that flies for a single. Should be time for two more overs before tea.

“So I was watching the Test silently earlier this Stateside morning so as not to wake the family, and decided to put some music in my ears,” says Mac Millings. “At precisely the moment that Ben Stokes skipped down the pitch in the 28th over and spanked Holder through the covers, the loud bit in Mogwai’s Like Herod kicked in. A Top-Five cricket moment, for me.”

As Bruce Forsyth always insisted, there’s a Mogwai song for every experience.

56th over: England 265-7 (Smith 51, Woakes 18) Holder drifts onto the pads of Smith, who clips emphatically through midwicket for four to reach a stylish, authoritative fifty from 60 balls. It’s important we don’t get carried away, but the Ashes are only bloody coming home! he looks a very good fit at No7.

55th over: England 259-7 (Smith 46, Woakes 18) “Root done for an Aussie Nelson then,” says Jeremy Boyce. “Top knock by the ‘lad’, once again digging us out of the filth. We should be ok though, Woakes knows his way round the crease and Smith is going well. Not sure Baz will be too bothered just now, it’s all set up for one of those fourth-innings onslaughts that he/they seem to enjoy. Commentator’s curse here we come...”

Given McCullum’s nature, I’m not sure the ‘just now’ is necessary. What was that Kipling poem?

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And put your feet up on the balcony just the same

54th over: England 256-7 (Smith 45, Woakes 16) The ball is swinging so it’s a good time to get Jason Holder into the attack. Smith is beaten again, this time trying to drive a beautiful outswinger.

“Ah, you’ve got me thinking about England’s greatest lower-order batter now,” says Phil Harrison. “Swann was right up there - loads of talent, lovely timer of the ball. Way too good to be at nine. Broad pre-nose-knack too. Emburey was handy back in the day. Always thought Gough could have been much better if he’d really put in the work!”

There’s a strong case for Moeen Ali as well. Maybe you have a rule that they played at least 50 per cent of their innings at Nos 8-11, which would kick out people like Moeen, Craig White and Matt Prior.

With that rule, and a minimum of 20 innings, the England player with the highest average is… Chris Woakes, followed by Tim Bresnan. But that includes innings played at No6 or No7. If you go solely on performances at Nos 8-11 Woakes drops below Sam Curran, Chris Lewis and a couple of others.

53rd over: England 255-7 (Smith 45, Woakes 15) Three more to Woakes, pushed through extra cover off Seales. The ball is still doing a little bit, as Seales proves with a seductive outswinger thta beats Smith.

“My scientific observers at the ground claim to have detected a clear Doppler Shift effect between the Western Lower Stand and the Hollies when Jamie Smith smote that mighty six earlier,” says Brian Withington. “Time dilation also measured here in sleepy Dorridge.”

52nd over: England 252-7 (Smith 45, Woakes 12) Woakes crashes a half-volley from Shamar to the cover boundary, a beautiful stroke that takes him into the double figures. Smith stands tall to drive four more through extra cover; this kid has so much ability.

Easy to forget, this being a Saturday, that we’re only halfway through day two of the game. Ben Stokes’ England started by abolishing the draw; now they’re coming for the five-day Test.

51st over: England 243-7 (Smith 41, Woakes 7) Motie’s reward for dismissing Root is a spell in the outfield: Jayden Seales returns to the attack with the new batsman Woakes in mind. Woakes, who must be a contender for England’s greatest-ever lower-order batter, leans into a confident square drive that brings his first boundary.

50th over: England 236-7 (Smith 40, Woakes 1) So now Jamie Smith becomes the key player. He won’t need to go into one-day mode while Woakes is at the crease, though he naturally plays his shots anyway. A fierce cut off Shamar is well fielded on the boundary by the sprawling McKenzie.

49th over: England 231-7 (Smith 37, Woakes 0) At first I thought that was a quicker ball from Motie; in fact it was much slower, designed to turn, and I think Root was done by natural variation.

“I’d like more of this series, please, who do I speak to about this?” says Felix Wood, who wrote the rest of this email five minutes ago. “Slightly nervous to invoke a curse, but isn’t Root great. What a shame we made him be captain rather than just enjoying the wonder of him making runs. Unfortunately his successor, Pope, isn’t remotely in the same class. He averages 35 for a reason. Because he gives up a chance at least once for that number of runs. If the oppo miss the first he’ll get 70 odd and if they miss a few he’ll get a hundred. But he won’t get there on his own. A shame but is it time England looked elsewhere (and I say this as a Surrey fan...).”

I’m not sure about Pope at No3 either – but he averages 44.63 since he moved up the order. In the same period Kane Williamson is the only regular No3 with a higher average.

That was a good piece of bowling from Motie, an arm ball that snaked between bat and pad, kept low and trapped Root in front. It was so plumb that Root turned straight on his heels without chatting to Smith. He looks frustrated as he walks off but that was a terrific innings, a lesson in risk management.

48th over: England 231-6 (Root 87, Smith 37) Thanks Jim, hello everyone. Hoooey: Smith, trying to whip to leg, is beaten by some late outswinger from Shamar Joseph. Careful now.

47th over: England 228-6 (Root 84, Smith 37) Motie goes over the wicket but it doesn’t work for him. Jamie Smith sweeps for four and then repeats the shot a couple of balls later. That’s the fifty partnership between this pair – Smith has played a gem of an innings, one that he was picked for and that will please McCullum and Stokes no end.

Time for a drink and that’s me outta here. Here’s Rob Smyth to guide you through Joe Root’s 33rd Test match century/the afternoon and evening. Goodbye!

46th over: England 218-6 (Root 83, Smith 28) Shamar Joseph back into the attack. Pointedly, he’s only bowled two spells of three overs, clearly grappling with his fitness on this tour which is a real shame, at full tilt he is mesmerising. Smith digs out a yorker for a single, Shamar then loses his line and flings one down the leg side for a scruffy couple of byes.

45th over: England 215-6 (Root 83, Smith 27) Gah, just as I was talking up his frugality – Motie drags one down and Smith does not miss out, rocking back onto his heels and cutting away powerfully for four. West Indies’ lead stands at 67 runs.

44th over: England 210-6 (Root 83, Smith 22) Root progresses serenely into the eighties.

43rd over: England 208-6 (Root 81, Smith 22) Motie is doing a decent job of tying up an end. England’s innings is only 43 overs old, one point to make is that their bowlers have not had that much rest. If they were to be bowled out this afternoon then it will be a big ask of Wood, Atkinson and Woakes to come back and be as potent as they can be after not having much time to put their feet up.

42nd over: England 206-6 (Root 80, Smith 21) The umpires are checking to see if the replacement ball has gone out of shape, they decide it is good enough for now, Jason Holder is looking at it with something like contempt though.

41st over: England 204-6 (Root 79, Smith 20) England bring up the 200, Root rocking back to cut through point for four and then Smith opening the face on a full-toss to pick up three through the covers. Root continues on his merry way and Jamie Smith has been confident since arriving at the crease, the deficit stands at 78.

Here is that Jamie Smith six in all its glory. Pongo.

40th over: England 194-6 (Root 73, Smith 16) The impressive Seales back into the attack, Root punches to point to get a single and Smith drives down the ground for one more.

39th over: England 192-6 (Root 72, Smith 15) A Joe Root single calms things down a little. West Indies will be keen to see if this replacement ball offers anything in the way of movement.

38th over: England 191-6 (Root 71, Smith 15) Thrilling stuff this. Alzarri spears one in and all Smith can do is glove it away, the ball balloons over Da Silva and away for four runs but could have easily brought about his demise. Shot! What a shot! Smith resembles KP as he pulls off the front foot and away for SIX onto the roof of the Hollies stand. He’s got some talent this kid. The ball needs to be replaced as it either can’t be found or has felt the full force of some concrete. One to seek out on the highlights.

37th over: England 178-6 (Root 69, Smith 4) Motie to Smith. Four dots blocked out and then Smith plunders a three through the leg-side, a poor ball from the spinner that releases some of the pressure on the new batter. Root picks up a single off the last with a drive down the ground.

36th over: England 174-6 (Root 68, Smith 1) West Indies sense this is their moment. In comes Jamie Smith, Jason Holder can be heard giving plenty of chirrup to the Test match tyro from Surrey. Ooooph! Good stuff from Alzarri, spearing in a short ball at the rib-cage which Smith does well to negotiate. A tuck to leg gets Smith off the mark and brings Root on strike. Root punishes a leg side delivery to end the over – flashing away for four runs through the leg side. England still trail by 108 runs.

35th over: England 169-5 (Root 64, Stokes 54) Motie bowls his spin from the other end, Stokes and Root are content to swap strike and take a single each.

“ROOOOOOOOT” emails Jeremy Boyce.

“Bon apres-midi encore une fois, James! I’ve done the lycra thing already, early morning road bike ride (batteries in my legs if you’re wondering), 55km, very good. The lycra is very empowering - you can actually feel your muscles - but nothing compares to pulling on your whites and spending the afternoon running around under a pleasant summer sky. No wonder Jimmy, and Root, want to make it last as long as possible. Root is obviously in great shape physically, like Jimmy, so it’s all a question of burn-out. He’s got years more ahead of him if all goes well, time to invent some new shots and ramp up his stats. The lycras are off now, as is just about everything else, (ooh errr) it’s 32C here (Nimes area) this afternoon and the mercury is heading upwards next week. Windows and shutters closed, hiding in the dark enjoying the OBO”

Glad to have you Jezza, now stick some linen on and crack open a Solero for crying out loud.

34th over: England 167-5 (Root 63, Stokes 53) Stokes pulls the first ball of the session for four! A sign of things to come? A simple twist of fate? Alzarri Joseph goes short again, to Joe Root this time – Root pounces on it and pulls away for four. It’s a momentous shot as it takes Joe Root to 12,000 runs in Test cricket. What a player. He keeps ticking them off.

Out come the players after the lunch break. Mike Atherton shows he’s down with his Dylan with a nod to Bob Willis (who was a huge fan) noting that there has been a spot of rain during the lunch break ‘not a hard rain though’ before noting the England wickets “Crawley, Duckett, Pope, Brook, Wood – Desolation Row”.

I went to see this show in concert a few months ago and it was spellbinding.

“Bon Apres-Midi Camarade” writes Alisdair Gould.

“I feel awkward travelling on the Paris metro surrounded by lycra and athletics fans and the only sport I am following is wonderful test match cricket via wonderful OBO. The reason I write is to say what a credit Joe Root has been as a player at the top of his sport but with consistent modest composure. Pile on Joe. Bien à vous, Alisdair.”

Probably wouldn’t make you feel less awkward if I told you I’m dressed in lycra whilst sat on my sofa typing this Alisdair? Thought not.

Adam ‘Collo’ Collins has got you covered on the Olympics live blog – not that you’ll be deserting us here on the OBO with this Test deliciously poised? Oh, ok, but hurry back after lunch, you flake.

There’s no pleasing some:

Huge congratulations to OBO stalwart Kim Thonger, his son Tom and bride-to-very-soon-be Katie.

“My son Tom is getting hitched today to the lovely Katie, and I estimate at Root’s current scoring rate the ‘I do’s’ will coincide almost exactly with his century. If Joe could manage to reach it with a six that would be a nice present for the happy couple. My thanks in advance. We might even hear the roar, we’re in Hampton-in-Arden.”

“May I have the rings reverse-ramp please”

“So much focus has been on Jimmy in the last few months, and rightly so, but we are also living in the era of Joe Root. I’m trying to work out if I feel old watching him or not, with his boyish looks and subtle late glance down to third man for four. He looks so serene at the crease and despite having come in at similarly filthy positions throughout his career, so often you feel safe watching him. I’m aware this could be a classic kiss of death, but I’ll truly miss him when he’s not around. Which I hope is at least 3-4 summers and about 3000 more runs from now. He’s a wonderful, brilliant batter.”

Lovely this, from Guy Hornsby.

Apologies for giving a few England fans a fright with my lunchtime score post – I can assure you that England are only five down and not SEVEN, blame my sausage fingers and coffee addled brain.

Whoopsie

32nd over: England 156-5 (Root 58, Stokes 47) Alzarri Joseph sends down some short stuff, Root rolls his wrists to control the pull shot and picks up three runs. Stokes isn’t going to shy away either but he’s too early on a pull and plugs it wide of mid-on but safe. We’ll have one more before lunch.

31st over: England 150-5 (Root 55, Stokes 44) The stump mic picks up Josh Da Silva joining in with the Hollie’s rendition of Livin’ On a Prayer. Root sweeps a full bunger for two and then Stokes sweeps for SIX to bring up England’s 150. This partnership is ploughing on towards a hundred, West Indies took the first hour of play but England have taken the second… unless they lose one before the lunch interval. They still trail by 132 runs.

30th over: England 141-5 (Root 52, Stokes 38) West Indies can’t quite stop the scoring, a lot of overs have a hittable ball in them and Stokes doesn’t miss out on a drive down the ground for four. Holding the pose for good measure. Jason Holder tugs his two metre high forelock.

29th over: England 133-5 (Root 50, Stokes 32) That’s loose from Stokes though! Lining up a booming drive off a full ball from Motie, the ball grips and turns, beating the inside edge of the bat and the keeper too, running away for four byes. Not long til lunch, a wicket now would make it West Indies morning categorically.

28th over: England 126-5 (Root 50, Stokes 29) There are two short covers catching to Stokes– GOOD LUCK CATCHING THAT! As if spurred on by the keeper and the fielders Stokes comes charging out of his crease to flog a Holder length delivery in the gap for four. That is some shot. Stokes comes alive in a flash, unleashes some brutality and then goes back to defending the next ball. Wicketkeeper Josh Da Silva comes up to the stumps to Holder. That’d be an inflammatory move for plenty of medium pace merchants up and down the land.

Oh, and Joe Root notches up his 63rd Test match fifty with a languid single.

27th over: England 119-5 (Root 49, Stokes 23) Another good over from Motie, getting enough drift and turn to keep Root and Stokes tied down. A single to each batter keeps the scoreboard ticking in the right direction for England.

“Hi James, can’t be doing Dions without Dionne surely...”

Of course not, Peter Salmon.

26th over: England 117-5 (Root 48, Stokes 22) Another one of Hotten’s hated twos as Stokes glides Holder past point for a couple.

25th over: England 115-5 (Root 48, Stokes 20) Time for some spin. Gudakesh Motie is summoned into the attack, he twirled one through Stokes’ defences at Lord’s remember. It’s Root on strike and he pats back a lesser spotted maiden. Tidy start from the spinner.

24th over: England 115-5 (Root 48, Stokes 20) Root clips away for a couple of twos with something veering on nonchalance.

“Proper criggit, you are getting a Root masterclass” – I text my learned friend and collaborator Jon Hotten who is in the Brian Lara lounge at Edgbaston today, no doubt chowing down on a prawn sandwich and swirling some elderberry fizz at this very second.

“Too many twos for my liking. Not enough boundaries. Put your back into it!” he replies, Whatsapp message dripping in disdain, the rest of it far too blue to post on these pages. Horrible.

There’s no pleasing some people. That’s The Hundred generation for you…

(Have fun cobber!)

23rd over: England 110-5 (Root 43, Stokes 20) Jason Holder into the attack. Can he break this partnership of more than fifty now between Stokes and Root? Not just yet. A full ball is dug out by Stokes and he cracks the wrists on it to see it trace away through the covers for three runs, I do not know how he has managed that.

22nd over: England 105-5 (Root 41, Stokes 17) Shamar gets us going after drinks. Stokes flicks at a length ball and West Indies think they hears something – after some back and forth they send it upstairs but the ball hit the thigh pad and not the bat. Not out. Root now has the most runs of any batter at Edgbaston in Test history. He averages over 70 in Brum!

21st over: England 101-5 (Root 39, Stokes 16) Time for a drink as England bring up the hundred.

Is the OBO Brat? Probs*.

*Have no idea what I’m talking about.

20th over: England 94-5 (Root 34, Stokes 14) Jayden Seales’ brilliant spell comes to an end, he’s got 3-35 from his nine overs in this innings. Shamar replaces him and immediately serves up a half-volley to Ben Stokes who drives with the full face back past the bowler for four. This pair doing a decent rebuild job for England after the two early wickets of Pope and Brook.

19th over: England 88-5 (Root 33, Stokes 9) Too full from Alzarri and Root pounces, punching through the covers for four more.

18th over: England 82-5 (Root 27, Stokes 9) Seales keeps Stokes on his toes, finding some extra bounce that surprises the batter and has him fencing slightly in front of his grille.

Here’s another Dion to get your ears around. Yes, Runaround Sue is a certified banger but check out this album, it’s a beauty. You’ll be air saxaphoning your way through Saturday in no time.

17th over: England 80-5 (Root 27, Stokes 7) Alzarri has been a bit loose this morning so far, Stokes climbs in to a short ball outside of off-stump and crashes it to the fence for four. There’s a hush around Edgbaston as the crowd are completely absorbed by the contest this morning. This is why we love Test cricket.

Speaking of which, John Starbuck has been inspired by Celine D, not for the first time no doubt and sends in this cracker for a song about l’amour. I don’t mind those backing vocals it has to be said.

16th over: England 74-5 (Root 26, Stokes 2) A couple of singles off the over. If West Indies can break this partnership then they will feel truly in command in this game. As it is, whilst Stokes and Root are out there and accumulating they’ll know that they cannot take their foot off the gas.

15th over: England 72-5 (Root 25, Stokes 1) Alzarri (Joseph) replaces Shamar (Joseph). Not the tightest line from the Antiguan. Root collects four with a flick fine and then climbs into a square drive that hurtles to the fence. Stokes gets off the mark with a defensive push past point.

Root has now gone past one Brian Charles Lara to number seven on the all time Test runs list. We are witnessing greatness and have been for a long time.

14th over: England 60-5 (Root 14, Stokes 0) “Will West Indies enforce the follow on?” chirps an email. The OBO mailbag is, as ever, open for your correspondence. If Root and Stokes go quickly then who knows… Well batted. Root shows Brook and Pope etc how to do it – getting a full stride in and planting the head firmly over the ball as he drives handsomely through the covers. Mike Atherton is positively purring at the batsmanship up in the comms box.

13th over: England 55-5 (Root 9, Stokes 0) Shamar Joseph is wide on the crease and angling the ball in at the stumps. West Indies have been on the moolah this morning. Root nurdles a single to bring Stokes on strike who in turns blocks out the over with obdurate defence. Great passage of play this, every ball feels like an event.

12th over: England 54-5 (Root 8, Stokes 0) Jayden Seales keeps Ben Stokes honest with the final delivery of his over. Stokes could do with a score after a lean time of late and his side need a meaty partnership to get back into this game. Brook’s wicket was Seales’ 50th in Test cricket – he’s a fantastic talent.

11th over: England 51-4 (Root 7, Brook 0) Pope perished with an angled bat – similar to the way Duckett went last night. Trying to force away on the off side and serving only to get a thick edge back on to the timbers. In walks Harry Brook, fresh off a maiden home Test century.

10th over: England 43-3 (Pope 6, Root 7) Seales is full and at the stumps, pinning Root on the pad in front of all three. That looks close?! Seales implores but the umpire is not having it and neither are his teammates. What do you know – the DRS shows three reds and Root would have been on his way with a review. Next ball he pounces on a half volley and drives down the ground for four.

9th over: England 39-3 (Pope 6, Root 3) ‘A teasing line’ from Shamar Joseph purrs Ian Bishop on the tv commentary. Root gets going on day two with a clip to square leg. Pope then fences outside off stump and is lucky not to get an edge through to Da Silva. The pitch is biscuit coloured and looks like it should be a belter to bat on under cloudless skies.

Shamar Joseph has the ball in hand. Root and Pope are at the crease for England. Let’s be ‘avvin you.

Here’s the TMS overseas link courtesy of Simon Dennis, and the BBC, I guess.

https://m.youtube.com/live/tbRjiOYeKhw?feature=share&cbrd=1

Edgbaston is blue for Bob Willis today, the players emerge onto the sun soaked turf sporting blue caps and there’s a moving minute of applause around the ground.

I’m off to mainline some coffee before business gets properly underway, my daughter woke up at 3am and decided that was all the sleep she needed. Do I want a medal? Yes, a GOLD one, laced with Kenco.

Here’s a some pre 11am reading for your delectation.

Magnifique. Gauntlet well and truly thrown down to the Hollies stand…

There’s been a gold medal over on Big Sports Day. Follow all the action here:

Gone off dead rubbers at Edgbaston have we?