FRIENDLY FIRE
Our brave boys are home from their needlessly long pre-season tours to USA USA USA, allowing us to make decisions on what will definitely happen in the Premier League this season via the classic editorial concept of ‘five things we learned’.
1) The key element to take from friendlies is to find out what does and does not work in order to allow time to correct it before things get serious. Against Manchester City, Chelsea tried tippy-tappy football around the back and gave Erling Haaland three goals because they could not work out who was on their own team, losing the ball repeatedly with the passing accuracy of a drunk toddler. Surely Enzo Maresca will see this as a chronic weakness and change style, deciding that his defenders should just lump it up to a big man in order to get Chelsea back to their best.
2) Speaking of Haaland, he scored five times in the four knockabout games. If he maintains that level of form over a Premier League season, which he undoubtedly will, then the Norwegian will finish up with 47.5 goals by the end of the campaign. Haaland was just getting started in America, laying down the law, showing nothing will stop him except potential knack, competent defences and form, but none of that was evident in the muggy heat.
3) Seemingly without fanfare, Liverpool replaced that Jürgen Klopp bloke with Arne Slot. The Dutchman has led the Reds to three victories in as many matches making them The Invincibles. They gave Manchester United a shooing at the weekend to lay down an early marker in the battle for third place.
4) Speaking of new Dutch managers, Erik ten Hag has an extended contract and unearthed a gem of a player from somewhere in the form of Big Cup finalist and England international Jadon Sancho. It is such a shame he could not have signed him a year earlier as he looks the sort of attacker that could improve a team that finished eighth.
5) Arsenal think they are in the running for the title but showed some worrying weakness Stateside. Despite defeating United 2-1, someone insisted on a penalty shootout, with Ten Hag’s men winning the spot-kick battle. If Arsenal do not wise up once the season begins in earnest and offer opponents the chance the win via a loophole, then they could struggle to mount a serious challenge at the top.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I just read it in the news. I would try to do my speeches at half-time shorter” – Pep Guardiola says stop jabbering on about inverted full-backs for quite so long in his team talks after learning Manchester City have been fined £2m for being late back on the pitch too often.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: Memory Lane in Friday’s full email edition. To borrow a joke from the Simpsons, when Ronald McDonald was asked about the time he played football at clown college, he replied ‘I’ll thank you not to refer to Arsenal that way’” – Ed Coutts.
You report the Brighton chief suit as saying that ‘in terms of his contribution on the pitch Pascal [Gross] goes down as the club’s greatest-ever Premier-League signing’ (Thursday’s News, Bits and Bobs). I am forced to wonder if there is a subtle qualification here, with some pre-EPL star the real GOAT. And, indeed, to ask whether any club has valued players for their off-the-pitch efforts. What other contribution is a player supposed to make?” – Trevor Field.
If Emile Smith Rowe wanted to get to Fulham ‘as quickly as possible’, I recommend taking the Piccadilly line from Arsenal to Hammersmith and then the 220 bus, getting off at Kingswood Road, followed by an eight minute walk to Craven Cottage. He should get plenty of change from £34m too” – Peter Shearer.
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