Arsenal

Supposedly the new Arsenal away kit is inspired by “1920s African Art”. The black shirts have red and green stripes in addition to some zigzag patterns to jazz things up and avoid it looking like a funeral outfit.

The home kit is, obviously, red with white sleeves, but what modernises the new designs is the fact they have removed the badge, utilising the famous cannon because that indicates the Gunners are going to war or something similar in what the club is dubbing “The Year of the Cannon”. One assumes “The Year of the Casket” is incoming.

Aston Villa

After qualifying for the Champions League, Villa have moved away from the sweaty mess of last season’s Castore kit to Adidas. It is a clean design with a striped colour to evoke memories of European adventures gone by for Villans.

The blue has been softened, looking almost white, as they honour their 150th anniversary, although it also moves the club into a new era with a badge redesign. Latin phrases are out with the lion emblem above the words “Aston Villa”, in a shield form rather than a circle, meant to make it more marketable.

Bournemouth

What a decade it has been down on the south coast and they are eager to celebrate their first promotion to the Premier League way back when (2015) by taking glorious inspiration from the kit that led them to the promised land.

What that entails is reducing the number of black and red stripes while adding some gold piping and trim to make it opulent. When their former manager Eddie Howe brings his Newcastle side to the Vitality Stadium, he will surely weep with delight when he sees it.

Brentford

In a gloriously anti-capitalist move the Bees are keeping the same home shirt for a second season. Do not fear dear reader, we still have the away and third ensembles to review. Pastel pink – a “trend colour” according to the guff written around it – is the order of the day for trips outside of TW8. There is no colour to a clean cut around the neck, probably in the hope it is the sort of thing fans will wear on a night out when clearly no one would. The stripes on the arm draw the eye, adding crisp detail to an otherwise simplistic design.

Brighton

Who can forget the joys of tie dye as a four-year-old at school? Clearly not the good folk at Nike who have created a light blue goalkeeper number that looks like it was taken down to Brighton Pier and dipped into the water to make it all trendy and wavy in a freeform pattern to contrast with the clean lines of the home and away kits for the lads that do the running. Blue and white will carry on at the Amex, although the dark blue of the shoulders and biceps is no more, lightening it up with white.

Chelsea

Simplicity has been the focus down at Stamford Bridge for longer than anyone cares to remember. Royal blue shirt and shorts with white socks. No messing about, everyone is happy. But wait, Nike’s love of the tie dye has brought a mellowness to what has historically been a classic. There is no shirt sponsor adorning the front, giving the blobs of various shades of blue due prominence as the players’ chests become lava lamps. It is different, that’s for sure. Maybe it will relax the players after last season’s uptight mediocrity.

Crystal Palace

In a world where rulers seem to dominate, the Eagles and Macron are willing to break them. It is the first kit that does actually look fit for a discotheque with its vibrant blue and red. As is requisite, there is an anniversary to cheer and in south-east London they are commemorating 100 years at Selhurst Park. To do this they have the famed eagle flying in the background of the stripes to lift its vibrancy and prepare the average 46-year-old fan for a night on the town. Personally, we would have honoured the misery of away end toilets and wooden seats in the stands but each to their own.

Everton

“The tonal print on the front body deconstructs Everton’s original shield crest and incorporates intertwined lettering from the 1920s and following decades, drawing on Everton’s proud history,” chirps the PR guff. It means there are a load of different shapes flying around the blue canopy. Castore do offer a lovely circular collar, though, and the richness of the blue draws the eye. In case you are wondering, Everton are celebrating their final year at Goodison Park.

Fulham

Naturally, Adidas have produced a white shirt with black manufacturer’s stripes and added a brushstroke of red for the Craven Cottage faithful. The same three colours make up the away one, too. Black and red stripes are a regular feature for Fulham with white tracks along the arms making it distinguishable from a classic Milan top. Obviously, they want everyone to think they have not taken their time over the shirts and then one looks at the back to find the Cottage balcony for those that like football nostalgia.

Ipswich

Ipswich return to the top flight with Umbro in a retro-inspired blue home kit with thin 80s-esque white stripes. The sponsor comes from their most well-known fan in his promotion of his ongoing Mathematics tour.

But the standout is the maroon and navy away number, adorned with a print of the Tractor Boys’ faithful and gold trimmings that give a regal look; an unusual association for Ipswich. The third kit draws inspiration from Suffolk’s pink homes and features the silhouette of Framlingham Castle, famously referenced in Ed Sheeran’s song Castle on the Hill. The Sheeran FC jokes are going to be endless this season, aren’t they?

Leicester

Leicester power back into the Premier League as if they never left, with a home kit that looks nearly identical to what they wore two years ago. Aside from a slightly different shade of blue, it’s a replica of last season’s Championship kit: practical, but underwhelming. The second kit features an orange and pink splatter pattern on a black background, intended to laud the murals that adorn Leicester’s streets. Looking at it, you would think it more closely resembles the corner of a wall where artists test their spray cans before beginning their work.

Liverpool

This is Liverpool’s last hurrah with Nike before they switch back to Adidas and they have opted to go retro. The home kit features angular yellow pinstripes down the length of the shirt; a nod to the 1983-84 season when Joe Fagan led the team to a league title, European Cup and League Cup treble. The look is completed with a white and red collar. The club describe the away kit as “earthy dark green” though it appears nearly black in most lighting. It is incredibly forgettable. As for the leaked third kit, it features an eccentric white and grey pattern, but the vertical double Nike swoosh logo looks like an off-putting printing error.

Manchester City

Finally something worth celebrating: the 1999 Second Division playoff final fluorescent yellow kit in which Paul Dickov slid across the Wembley turf. Erling Haaland now glows in the dark, making it easier for defenders to spot him, but the stylish navy stripes and light blue piping make the whole thing pop. It helps distract from the fact that the home shirt is inspired by the dialling code for Manchester or similar nonsense, bringing a tear to the eye of any Mancunian who remembers calling their nan in the 90s.

Manchester United

Manchester United’s first full season under Sir Jim Ratcliffe is expected to bring changes, starting with the sponsor, Snapdragon, featured prominently across all three kits. Rumours suggest they are also keen on acquiring the naming rights to Old Trafford. The home top is simple, featuring white detailing on a red gradient that supposedly creates “a unique glow effect”, promising to make players sparkle under the floodlights of the crumbling Old Trafford. Or will it be Old Snapdragon this time next year?

The other two kits are infinitely more interesting. The royal blue away kit is adorned with an “M” monogram throughout and light blue waves on the collar, symbolising the city’s rivers. The third kit brings back the red, white, and black flag design emblazoned across the chest, complete with Adidas’s iconic trefoil.

Newcastle

The three-stripes Adidas logo pairs perfectly with the classic black and white stripes on Newcastle’s home kit, offering a fresh take on their 2002-03 threads, complete with a two-toned collar. The only gripe is how much the bright yellow sleeve sponsor disrupts the minimalist vibe. Still, Adidas’s take is a step up from anything Castore attempted.

The club has received backlash for sportswashing with their green and white kits in the past but the disparagement has not deterred them. At least their latest third kit is a take on the mint green, white and black away set from 1999-2000. The highlight is the nostalgic blocky 1980s crest which ties together the innovative approach to a classic design. Extra points for the kit’s launch, as Alexander Isak, Bruno Guimarães and Joelinton posed in Tokyo’s bustling Shibuya Crossing surrounded by the city’s iconic blinking screens.

Nottingham Forest

The Nottingham Forest home kit is a perfect blend of contradictions. The club are describing it as a “representation of the next chapter of Nottingham Forest” but instead of a reflection of the future, it honours the past. The traditional red is used once again but the pattern displays darker red stars to call back to the club’s back-to-back European Cup wins in 1979 and 1980.

Fans won’t be cheering the side on to a third star this season after their relegation battle last campaign but one supporter has been having a say on the away kit. The local rapper and lifelong Forest fan Bru-C teamed up with the club as his track “Ten Toes” from his latest album “Family Only” inspired the design of grey with a hot pink accent. It won’t only be shirt design Forest will call on their fans for this season, as they will need their noisy support in their effort to remain in the top flight.

Southampton

Southampton say they have taken inspiration from the club’s naval history in the design of their home kit, but they will be hoping their first season back in the Premier League does not follow the Titanic’s fate after it left the Southampton dock.

The red and white stripes include camouflage detailing, an element definitely not included on the away kit which sticks out like a sore thumb. The lemon colour includes a striped pattern and the club will look to leave a sour taste for their opponents, albeit not from the questionable design choice but with results.

Tottenham

Tottenham may be the club everyone likes to hate but their home kit will draw no mocking from opposition fans. Its uncomplicated design is similar to Spurs kits that have come before it but this season the sleeves have the dark blue colour which ties the shirt together.

The away kit, while still looking quite slick, is not as flawless as the home kit. There are different shades of blue and white across the shirt which make it look like a wall where you have painted different samples side-by-side to see which would work best. Spurs fans will want to see more decisiveness on the pitch this season.

West Ham

West Ham are also marking an anniversary with their shirt design this season as it has been 60 years since they won the European Cup Winners’ Cup. In the 1964-65 season legends like Bobby Moore and Alan Sealey, who scored both goals in the final against 1860 Munich, lifted the trophy.

The shirt has similar detailing to that season’s kit with a claret shade on the body, blue sleeves and a claret and blue striped collar. The tag line is to “wear greatness” and the club could translate that on to the pitch with an impressive summer transfer window in progress. Could there be Moore silverware on the way? Maybe that was a pun too far, I’ll get my hat.

Wolves

Wolves’ home shirt is not the star of their kits this season. Sure, they have brought back their classic golden shade, but their away kit sets the tone of their campaign. The tag line is “fear nothing” and the shirt is all black aside from golden detail displaying a wolf.

It puts down a marker for the playing style they should treat fans to this season, fearless and stylish. In recent campaigns supporters have seen the club occupy 14th and 13th position, lacking an edge to bump them up the table. This shirt could inspire them to the heights of the 2019-20 season, where the team finished seventh. That’s the hope, anyway.