Correction! I got my Duckett dashes in a twist (18:12). His 86 today is in the all-time top six fastest fifties by Test openers after their team has been put in, not the top three. His earlier counter-attacks are still at number three and four in that chart. Apologies. Nick Terdre (16:30) will be most unimpressed.

Here’s Dominic Jones, picking up on my outrage at 17:55 at the decision by the umpires to send the players off. “It’s almost as if they should – oh, I don’t know – offer the batters the light or something!” Ha.

So Ollie Pope has made the second-fastest hundred ever by an England captain. And Ben Duckett missed out on one – but he is on the list Rob mentioned earlier, in the all-time top three of the fastest fifties by Test openers after their team has been put into bat. Duckett’s strike rate today, 123 per hundred balls, was even quicker than England’s last two entries on this list – both from Duckett himself. His partner Zak Crawley, interestingly, is not on the list at all. On a flat pitch, Crawley is your man; on a greentop, Duckett stands tall.

“I think that if you’re going to schedule Tests this late in the summer,” says Gary Naylor, “you have to expect play to continue in this light. It’s no worse than it has been most of the day and not endangering anyone. The players want the money and the ECB want the money, so they really have to find a better way to deliver their side of the bargain.” Very true. There was no danger to anyone – except the underside of Pope’s elbow, and he can take it.

“Prospects of play,” says Ian Ward, “are gloomy.” And he knows the Oval.

Pope made a small piece of history. By reaching 103 off 102 balls, he becomes only the second England captain ever to make a century at a run a ball or better. The first was Graham Gooch, when he made 123 at Lord’s in 1990 against India – who were mildly demoralised as Gooch had made 333 in the first innings. Gooch reached his ton from 95 balls. The two of them are way out in front on the list of hundreds by England captains, ranked in terms of strike rate. (The figures are for the whole innings in every case. Not even the great StatsGuru can stop the clock for each one at the moment when three figures were reached.) Thanks to the great Rob Smyth for pointing me towards this.

44th over: England 221-3 (Pope 103, Brook 8) And England’s run rate goes above five.

42nd over: England 214-3 (Pope 97, Brook 7) This England don’t have much time for old adages, but they do seem to believe in “If you’re going to flash, flash hard.” Brook goes down the track to Asitha Fernando, flashes hard and gets his first four, off the edge. Pope survives a rather random review for caught behind down the leg side. He celebrates by pulling the next ball for four to go into the 90s. Now that he has finally got some runs as captain, they should be the nerveless 90s, and as I type that, Pope plays a square drive for four, one of his signature shots. But then he takes a blow on the underside of his right elbow – not for the first time today, or even the second. He’s able to continue, but wisely takes a couple of deliveries to compose himself.

England’s run rate today is 4.99. They could finish this innings with anything from 520 to 320.

41st over: England 200-3 (Pope 89, Brook 1) Ollie Pope comes out flirting. Facing Kumara, he flashes outside off yet again, just manages to elude gully, and picks up four more. Brook finally gets off the mark with a square force for a single, less frenetic than the shots he played before tea. That brings up England’s 200. They’ve gone at almost five an over, even after that stodgy spell when Root was batting.

39th over: England 191-3 (Pope 80, Brook 0) As so often at Lord’s last week, a bowling change from Dhananjaya de Silva did the trick. He took Mathews off and turned back to Kumara, whose extra pace and bounce lured Root into an unRootish shot – half pull, half flick, strangely lackadaisical. It yielded only a top edge that went straight to Vishwa Fernando, who just had to keep calm and cling on.

Harry Brook, who may have been champing at the bit, goes down the track to his second ball, then steps away from the off stump and aims an exuberant hook into thin air. There are three minutes to go until tea.

38th over: England 190-2 (Pope 80, Root 13) Pope, tiring of all these dots, plays that flash over the slips again and picks up four more. Then he takes a single to bring up the fifty partnership. After a rip-roaring start, it’s been sober stuff, almost teetotal.

37th over: England 185-2 (Pope 75, Root 13) Mathews keeps up the vibe by going for just three. Root’s 13 has occupied 45 balls, as if he’s playing himself out of form.

36th over: England 182-2 (Pope 74, Root 11) Rathnayake’s fine spell comes to an end, which is a surprise, but Asitha keeps up the good work by conceding only a single. Are Sri Lanka fighting back here?

35th over: England 181-2 (Pope 73, Root 11) Pope’s first-class average at the Oval, a stat-box tells us, is now 82 – the highest in the 21st century by any player who has played much at any ground in the world. You wouldn’t know it from his latest move, a late dab at Mathews that flies between first slip and third at catchable height and runs away for four. There is no second slip, so it may have been deliberate, but it didn’t look it.

34th over: England 172-2 (Pope 64, Root 11) You wait hours for a maiden and then two come at once. Rathnayake, bowling to Root, extends his excellent spell (5-2-9-1).

31st over: England 170-2 (Pope 63, Root 10) As Rathnayake reaches a new peak in his short Test career, Vishwa Fernando just needs to keep the pressure on the batters, but he can’t manage it. He sprays the ball wide of off, then wide of leg. I suppose it’s one way of keeping the runs down.

30th over: England 168-2 (Pope 62, Root 9) Rathnayake bowls a shocker of a ball to Pope, who slaps it away for four. But then he raises his game for Root, beating him with a ripper, then a lovely outswinger, and another! One day he will be able to tell his grandchildren, “I beat Joe Root three times in an over.”

“Why are OBO writers so poor at maths?” asks Nick Terdre. “In his exemplary over (25th), Duckett reportedly scored 6+3+6+2=17. If the score really did advance by 16, it’s not just the maths that’s wrong. Kepp up the good work!”

Jesus, Nick. Bazball, admirable as it is, has made our job quite a bit harder. This fabulous format was designed in the days when every over in Test cricket contained, on average, four dots. Those days are now history. Almost every move Duckett made in that over demanded a description, and my eye was on the prose, not the maths. So yes, I have to plead guilty to mistaking a two for a three., but I hope you will see that there were mitigating circumstances.

29th over: England 163-2 (Pope 57, Root 9) Vishwa Fernando replaces Kumara and returns from the doghouse. Root clips for two and pushes into the covers for a single. Pope adds a single of his own. The hundred that Duckett missed out on is now beckoning to Pope.

28th over: England 159-2 (Pope 56, Root 6) Maybe the batters had a cup of camomile, because this over is decidedly calmer. Just a single from Root and a two from Pope, both flicked to leg off Rathnayake. The scoring rate for this partnership plummets to 9.5 an over.

And that was drinks. Make mine a double.

26th over: England 140-2 (Pope 43, Root 0) The batters had seen off the dangerous Asitha, whose figures of 9-0-33-0 didn’t do him justice. On came the less dangerous Rathnayake – but he managed one dot to Duckett, which was enough to prod him into yet another ramp. And this time he could only manage a limp chip, easily snaffled by the keeper. What a shame.

25th over: England 139-1 (Duckett 86, Pope 42) You are a Test opener. You have just messed up a ramp shot and got a streaky four for it. What do you do? You go again! Duckett plays a ramp for six, then a ramp at thin air (which brings an appeal for caught behind), a cut for three, and an upper-cut for six more, followed by another one for two. Then he’s thumped on the back thigh and the Sri Lankans review for LBW. It’s closer than it looked … it’s umpire’s call! Brushing the top of off. And that’s 16 off the over.

If anyone ever asks you what Bazball is, show them these six balls. They’ll be all over social media in a minute.

24th over: England 123-1 (Duckett 70, Pope 42) Another false shot for England’s collection: Duckett miscues a pull that goes perilously close to mid-on. It’s another good over from Asitha, who doesn’t deserve his zero in the wickets column.

23rd over: England 119-1 (Duckett 67, Pope 41) “I see all those edges,” Duckett says to Pope, “and I raise you a wonky ramp.” Facing the pacy Kumara, he goes outside off, trying to lift the ball over an invisible leg slip, but ends up sending it over the actual slips.

“OK,” says Pope. “I can’t compete with that.” So he plays a dreamy on-drive, like a mini Viv Richards.

22nd over: England 109-1 (Duckett 62, Pope 36) Pope takes ten off this over, but he’s riding his luck. Facing Asitha, he flashes hard and sends a thick edge over gully for four. A less frenetic shot, a comfy tuck for two, is followed by another false one as Pope inside-edges onto the pads. Then he tries to leave the ball outside off and picks up two more by accident. Finally there’s another tuck for two. If he could have just got out as well, that would have been Ollie Pope’s Test career in a nutshell.

21st over: England 99-1 (Duckett 62, Pope 26) Pope, duly bandaged, gets up the other end with a leg glance. Kumara then beats Duckett with some movement off the seam. Duckett waves his hand to tell the crowd what happened, then watches the ball harder and squirts a similar ball to third man for two.

There’s a pause as Pope needs treatment for a cut on the underside of the elbow. Kumara came on and drew blood with his first ball as Pope propped forward when he might have gone back. He’s fine, just needs a bandage. Nasser Hussain remembers that the same thing used to happen to Mark Ramprakash, who took to wearing an arm guard in an unorthodox position.

20th over: England 96-1 (Duckett 60, Pope 25) A much better over from Asitha to Pope – line and length, consistency and movement. The only run comes off the last ball and it’s an inside edge to fine leg.

Richard O’Hagan is back with a good spot. “Pope’s highest score as England captain.”

19th over: England 95-1 (Duckett 60, Pope 24) Duckett, facing Vishwa, shows that even with a sweeper out he can still find the Toblerone if you give him something to cut. He now has the highest score in the series by a player in the top three on either side. And that’s the fifty partnership off just 58 balls.

18th over: England 89-1 (Duckett 55, Pope 23) It’s not the Sri Lankan bowlers who have struggled today: their boss, Dhananjaya de Silva, has been strangely tentative after winning the toss and opting to bowl. At the start, he often had only two slips, and since then, perhaps rattled by Duckett’s aggression, he’s tended to leave big gaps for ones and twos. The batters help themselves to a single, a two and another single off Asitha’s over without taking any risks.

“Afternoon Tim,” says Simon MacMahon, who always brings news. “Scotland are playing Australia in the second of three T20 internationals in Edinburgh today. The home side won the toss at a foggy Grange and have restricted Australia to 55-2 in the Powerplay. For context, on Wednesday, the Australians reached a world record 113-1 from the first six overs as they cruised to their target of 156 within 10 overs. Inglis and Green are starting to motor now, though, and I expect Australia will still be looking to post 200+, which I think will be too many for Scotland, unless Jos Buttler and Ben Stokes are in town and fancy a bat…” And both make miraculous recoveries from their injuries.

17th over: England 85-1 (Duckett 52, Pope 22) Here’s the other Fernando, Vishwa, who has really struggled for line and length in this series. His first ball is a long hop, slapped for four by a grateful Pope. His second is way down the leg side, lucky not to go for four byes. And his third is a jaffa! Swinging back in yet still beating the outside edge, as Pope does that falling-over thing that the commentators have been muttering about. That is the place to bowl at him. Fernando remembers this for a ball or two, then gives him an easy single to midwicket.

16th over: England 80-1 (Duckett 52, Pope 17) Will England carry on where they left off? You bet they will. Duckett tucks the first ball into the on side for a single. Pope reaches for the second, back knee to the floor, and cover-drives for three. Fernando settles down after that, but the Sri Lankan radar is still not right.

Stuart Broad, on commentary, gives a glimpse of what the England players might have been up to during the break. “One hand, one bounce in the dressing room with a tennis ball.” Typical sports people, relaxing by playing even more sport.

The players are out there. Asitha Fernando is about to bowl to the man of the morning, Ben Duckett.

While we wait for play to resume, there’s a wacky England selection that has barely been discussed. Jos Buttler, opening batter and all-time great, is ruled out of the T20 series against Australia, so Rob Key and co. send for … Jamie Overton!

Yes, he’s become a handy batter, but he comes in at the end and has a mow. The squad was already acutely short of specialist batters – the only one in the original selection was Jordan Cox, an exciting talent who hasn’t actually played a T20 international yet.

Finding themselves bereft of Buttler, the selectors could have picked someone very similar: an opener, with huge T20 experience, and the ability to keep wicket if needed – Jonny Bairstow. He must be absolutely seething.

It’s such a bizarre decision that it may just be a cunning plan. Make Bairstow’s blood boil, then bring him back with A Point To Prove.

Another postcard from Memory Lane. “About two years ago,” says Richard O’Hagan, “I spent a Friday at the Oval with Gary Naylor, who again was telling me that conditions were going to improve and play start. They didn’t and it didn’t. And then the Queen died.

“I’m hoping that Gary is right this time and that today is somewhat less eventful.”

“As we all know,” says Jeremy Boyce, “The Oval is a big ground, hard to defend on and runs can be scored freely. Bradman racked up 553 in three innings there, but then had his Hollies duck there too that robbed him of his 100 Test average. England posted a record 903-7 there in 1938, against the Aussies. Let’s hope it lives up to its reputation now. I once (late 70s) spent an agreeable Sunday afternoon there watching Australia batting against Surrey. Play started at 1.00pm (Lord’s Day Observance) and went on till 7. The Aussies smashed well over 300 runs in the six hours of play.” Note for younger readers: this was a lot at the time.

Thanks Rob and afternoon everyone. Things are looking up…

I’m going to hand over to Tim for a while. The good news is that the groundstaff are getting busy (oh behave), and our man Gary Naylor has this to say: “Bright now - we should be on soon.”

“That South Africa series in 2003 is memorable for many reasons,” says Kevin Wilson. “It was really the point where you thought the 2005 Ashes could be won. You had a young Jimmy Anderson being tormented by Graeme Smith. Martin Bicknell with a late-career renaissance after being overlooked for what seemed like forever. Flintoff’s hundred at Lords. Great times.”

It was a cracking series. Not sure I felt at the time that England couple compete with Australia, but looking back there were some important moments. Flintoff played two mighty innings and there was one ferocious spell from Harmison, possibly second innings at The Oval. What is interesting is that less than half the XI for that Oval Test started against Australia two years later: Trescothick, Vaughan, Flintoff, Giles, Harmison.

This is a cracking read

“I’d broadly go along with your selection for Pakistan but I feel faith must be kept in Woakes as the experienced attack leader in the absence of Anderson,” says Dean Kinsella. “Maybe Leach’s work has been done for England now and Ahmed should go. But which one?”

Ha. Not even Baz, Ben and Bob are that funky.

“Here on the north-western edge of London the sun has come out,” writes Laurence J Cox. “I suspect were this Test at Lord’s they would be playing now. You may lose another hour but I expect there to be most of a day’s play at The Oval.”

While the TV pictures suggest the apocalypse has finally arrived, the weather forecast is surprisingly good for the rest of the day. I do think we’ll get more play, though I’d rather that stayed off the record.

That said, I can’t see anything before 3pm, so I’m off to make another coffee. Back in a bit.

“I’m at the ground, and I can confirm this is all about the light,” says Tom King. “It’s not raining in any real sense. It’s tangibly gloomier than at the start of play and when they went off, you could see all four shadows from the artificial lights.

“I do wonder whether the 15-over refund cut off has played a part in this... As it feels like one of those days where the chances of coming back on are touch and go. But communication from the authorities is basically nil. As a very amateur cricketer the idea of batting in this is pretty unattractive so I do get it. But it’s the lack of comms that does my head in.”

We’ve had a few emails about this. I’m not 100 per cent sure but I think, as things stand, all spectators would receive full refunds. It's after 15.1 overs (I think) that it becomes a partial refund. I THINK.

“Good morning from a Belize that is way more rainy that the Oval (over six inches Wednesday night, another three last night!),” begins David Hilmy. “I used to teach just down the road in Camberwell – no grass, just extensive playground, so every now and then on sports for the older kids’ PE, we’d sneak off down the road to watch whatever cricket was ongoing. In August 1988 the kids and I saw England’s first innings vs Windies, went back on the Sunday to watch Gordon Greenidge and Desmond Haynes score 77 each to win the match (and the 5-match series).”

That means you saw The Judge’s first Test fifty, you lucky… chap.

“Love a speculative squad game…” says Will Juba. “Mine would be very similar to yours, but I’d be keen to have Woakes in to see how he goes abroad. It seems there is more and more talk that he may be up for the Ashes down under, so if that’s the case he needs to be tested beforehand. I’d therefore take him to Pakistan and New Zealand and see how he gets on. My fourth seamer would then not be Potts (who I would take if I wasn’t taking Woakes), but either Stone or Hull - decided on how they get on in this test. It’d only be Hull if he did something really special, otherwise Stone would be the one.”

I know what you mean about Woakes, I’m just not sure whether Pakistan will tell us much about his suitability for Australia. I would take him to New Zealand, more because of his potential effectiveness than as an Ashes trial. I suspect England will keep an open mind all the way through next summer. Even if Woakes doesn’t go to Australia, if he’s bowling as well as he has in the last two years I’d play him in as many Tests as possible against India. England need to win that series. No point going to Australia with a bespoke squad if you’ve just been plugged at home by India.

“Duckett is such a pugnacious opener isn’t he?” says Max Williams. “He’ll rack up 100 Tests and play the same innings in all of them. Him and Crawley should go very well in Australia.”

I’d worry slightly about Duckett with the extra bounce, but he’s so smart and resourceful that he should find a way. Crawley, as you have said before, has the potential to play like Michael Vaughan in 2002-03 given the quality of his driving and pulling.

“Too soon for Jofra to be back?” says David Nicholls. “Those pitches are pretty unforgiving as well. Also Gus wants a word for leaving him out of the allrounders section...”

Arf. Definitely too soon for Jofra I would say; he has to be managed so carefully. I wondered about Woakes but I would leave him out, partly because England shouldn’t need his runs as much if they play one or maybe two of Lawrence, Jacks and Hartley.

September in London

Just look at this man

“Well, here we are, end of summer,” writes Rob Grey from The Oval. “Spirits still high outside the ground and at the bar. Weather is meh, but we need to find a way to get back out there. Good chance to play Sunsleeper by Barry Can’t Swim, please. Overlooked for the Mercury prize last night.”

I can’t believe M People won again.

Still no immediate prospect of a resumption, so I’ll start sifting through your emails.

“I can see England taking four spinners and only three seamers, with Rehan Ahmed being the obvious fourth choice in terms of variety and also slightly higher batting ability,” says Richard O’Hagan. “I am sure that Lawrence will get the nod over Jacks as he is supposedly a good player of slow bowling. And I presume the Cox that you have listed as the back-up keeper is Ben and not Jordan.

“On that note I wonder if they will even bother with a back-up and take an extra player elsewhere, reasoning that they have both Duckett and Pope who can fill in if need be. The lack of warm-up games nowadays almost renders the back-up keeper role otiose, doesn’t it?”

And just like that, the word ‘otiose’ appeared in an OBO for the first time. I think they’ll take Cox as much as the spare batsman as the back-up keeper. Mind you, second guessing Baz, Ben and Bob is a fool’s errand. As for the spinners, I think they would definitely do that if they were going to, say, Bangladesh, but seamers usually play quite a big part in Pakistan.

“Being a bit of a stats geek,” begins Matt Pitchforth, who knows exactly how to get a boy’s attention, “I dug a bit further into the fastest fifties after being put into bat. Checking the top 12 on the Statsguru link I reckon Duckett’s knock today is joint seventh, but relatively pedestrian by his standards.

1. Dilshan 30 balls

2. Duckett (vs WI) 32

3. Duckett (ws NZ) 36

4. Tamim Iqbal (vs NZ, Hamilton) 37

5. Gayle 42

6. Sehwag 45

7. Duckett (vs SL) 48

8. (7=) Tamim Iqbal (vs NZ, Wellington) 48

9. Umar 62

10. Trescothick 74

“No records exist for Simmons or Sohail. Hayden’s 380 is worth its own analysis as he started slowly then went through the gears.

• 50 off 107 balls (SR 46.7)

• 100 off 210 (2nd 50 off 103, SR 48.5)

• 150 off 242 (3rd 50 off 132, SR 37.9)

• 200 off 292 (4th 50 off 50, SR 100.0)

• 250 off 321 (5th 50 off 29, SR 172.4)

• 300 off 362 (6th 50 off 41, SR 122.0)

• 350 off 402 (7th 50 off 40, SR 125.0)

• 380 off 437 (last 30 SR 85.7)

“A worthwhile investment of 15 mins of my lunch break.”

And so say all of us.

If you have access to Sky Sports, they’re showing highlights of the innings Graham Thorpe cherished more than any other: 124 against South Africa at The Oval in 2003, when he became the only England player to twice score a century on debut. His death isn’t getting any easier, is it?

Weather update

It’s grim down south. The light seems to be a bigger problem than rain, though I’m not actually at the ground so I could be talking out of my isobar.

Come on then, who will/should be in the Pakistan tour party? Let’s assume a 16-man squad and that everyone is fit. Off the top of my head, this is what it might look like.

Batters Crawley, Duckett, Pope, Root, Brook

Allrounders Stokes, Lawrence or Jacks

Wicketkeepers Smith, Cox

Spinners Bashir, Leach, Hartley

Seamers Atkinson, Wood + two more.

I’d pick Potts as the hard yakka man, then maybe Stone? I’d be tempted to take Sam Cook as well, though maybe they could save him for New Zealand. I’d love to see Ollie Robinson repeat his performances in Pakistan two years ago; probably too soon for a recall though.

I’m off to grab a coffee. Here’s something to help you deal with the separation anxiety.

“Ben Duckett is averaging a shade under 40 after 25 Tests,” writes Andrew Howard. “He does exactly what his coach and captain tell him to do and he appears to have zero consideration of his own average/scores by 100 per cent committing to the Baz/Stokes instruction. It’s kind of admirable.”

What’s with the “kind of”?

Duckett’s 48-ball fifty must be one of the fastest by an opener whose team have been put into bat. It’s not quite the same thing, but Duckett has three of the six fastest 50+ scores by openers who were put in on the first morning. Here’s the list. That’s a helluva knock by Phil Simmons in ninth place as that was the unofficial World Test Championship final.

14th over: England 76-1 (Duckett 51, Pope 14) Vishwa Fernando returns to the attack. Duckett clatters him through the covers for three to reach a superb fifty from 48 balls, one that has made a mockery of the overhead conditions and put Sri Lanka on the back foot. It’s worth re-upping everyone’s favourite Duckett stat: his strike rate of 87 is the highest of any Test opener with at least 500 runs, and 20 ahead of England’s next best.

Pope has a couple of jittery moments, playing and missing and then setting off for a non-existent single. Duckett sent him back and I think he’d have been home even with a direct hit.

Meanwhile, if Jimmy isn’t in Australia in 2025-26, Rob Key and I are through.

14th over: England 73-1 (Duckett 48, Pope 14) Kumara slips one a bit wider to beat Pope’s attempted drive. Oliver!

“After steady drizzle in Northampton last night for Somerset’s solid quarter final victory over the Steelbacks we are thankfully back to walk to wall sunshine in the north of the county,” writes Kim Thonger. “Nobody can drive anywhere because the Burghley horse trials are on and all roads are either closed or clogged so we must stay in our gardens and read the OBO.

“I am very much in favour of Baz’s promotion and furthermore I think Angela Rayner should make him housing tsar. House building would be much faster. No time would be wasted building pesky foundations and bricks would be laid, without time consuming mortar, in batches of four and six, apart from the occasional quick single brick to keep progress going. Building regulation inspectors would be replaced by a review system, only deployed in the event of an actual building collapse. It all makes sense doesn’t it?”

I wouldn’t put it past him; he is a motivational genius. But what nobody has yet captured is how he does it. Maybe he doesn’t know himself.

13th over: England 73-1 (Duckett 48, Pope 14) As if to goad Rathnayake, Duckett steers him at catchable height between gully and short third man. He follows that with an even better shot, a wristy slap through extra cover off the back foot. Duckett has mauled Rathnayake this morning, hitting 19 from 11 balls, but Rathnayake has the last word in that over with a very good delivery that seams away to beat the edge. Just bowl there, again and again.

Drinks A very good spot from Tim de Lisle, who will be here for the second half of the day: that four was only Pope’s second of the series.

12th over: England 65-1 (Duckett 40, Pope 14) Pope flicks Kumara off the pads for three more. So far he has been on the right side of the busy/frantic line.

Talking of line, that has been Sri Lanka’s main problem this morning. It didn’t help that, when Rathnayake tried to plug in on off stump, Duckett leathered him over the top for successive boundaries.

My word, Pope ends the first hour of play with a majestic flat pull for six off Kumara. That’s a helluva stroke, especially as he was out to that shot early in his innings at Lord’s.

11th over: England 55-1 (Duckett 39, Pope 5) Pope, who needs runs for peace of mind as much as anything, gets off the mark with a stylish late cut for four. His place isn’t under threat yet, but the emergence of Jamie Smith and Jordan Cox could mean the walls start to close in over the next 12 months. I’m getting ahead of myself; for now he’s England’s best No3, even if he hasn’t scored quite as many runs as we would like.

“We’ve gone from one Surrey opener who tried to hit everything on the legside (Dom Sibley) to another in Dan Lawrence,” says Gary Naylor. “It’s not going to work second time round either is it?”

No, but I’m not sure Legside Larry (Surrey) has much to do with it. I also thought Sibley was unfairly maligned, but that’s another story. On Lawrence, I guess we can’t expect England to make loads of leftfield decisions and get them all right. It reminds me of something the late Neil Kulkarni said on Chart Music in a glorious rant about the decline of the music press: that to have great pieces by writers like Taylor Parkes and Kulkarni himself, you need to accept the odd stinker. Otherwise you’re asking people to make an omelette without breaking any eggs. He put it far more eloquently than that of course, and with a lot more swearing.

10th over: England 50-1 (Duckett 39, Pope 0) Actually, the ball that dismissed Lawrence was nowhere near as wide as I thought. Ricky Ponting, one of the greatest pullers of all time, said he didn’t commit properly to the shot and therefore didn’t get enough speed into the ball.

Duckett steals a two and a one to move to 39 from 37 balls; that’s after England were put into bat on a miserable morning. He’s not a great cricketer, but he is an extraordinary one.

9th over: England 45-0 (Duckett 36, Lawrence 5) Milan Rathnayake replaces Asitha Fernando, who bowled an okay spell of 4-0-10-0. His first ball is fractionally full and timed down the ground for three by Duckett. He must be such a pain in the arse for new-ball bowlers, the cricket equivalent of a striker like Preben Elkjaer who doesn’t give a centre-back a moment’s peace.

England’s new white-ball coach is reportedly at today’s game, and Duckett tries to impress him by playing two spectacular shots for four – the first was blasted over extra cover on the run, the second driven over wide mid-off. Just outstanding batting.

8th over: England 33-0 (Duckett 25, Lawrence 4) Duckett is in Sri Lanka’s heads. They only have two slips, can’t decide where to bowl to him and for the moment look like a team on the defensive. It’s been an excellent start for England, and Lawrence, though becalmed, has looked more comfortable than most of us expected.

“Will Vignoles is not having a fever dream,” says James Higgott. “I saw Simon Jones run in against the New Zealanders that summer at Lord’s. Day 1 was overcast, a bit cold and we were ‘treated’ to a very slow 93 from Mark Richardson. Simon Jones’ speedy reverse swing was by far the highlight of the day, even if Richardson mostly dead-batted it back to him.”

He also bowled a serious spell of reverse to Brendon McCullum on the fourth morning, when McCullum was threatening to take the game away from England.

7th over: England 29-0 (Duckett 22, Lawrence 3) The consensus in the Sky commentary box, which includes Ricky Ponting for this Test, is that Sri Lanka have bowled poorly so far. Their line has been a bit erratic, as shown when Lawrence clips Asitha to fine leg for a single.

“Regarding player confusion, I once had a season scoring for a team who had twins playing, and it was only obvious which one was which when they bowled – one was left-handed and one was right-handed,” says Andy Flintoff. “There were constant cries from the booth of ‘which one?’ to the nearest fielder ensued if a catch was made or a run-out was effected by either of them. At least now with numbers on shirts and jumpers, it’s a bit easier.”

6th over: England 27-0 (Duckett 21, Lawrence 2) Chandimal is okay to continue. Kumara is too short to Duckett, who slaps a wristy back cut for four more. That’s a terrific shot. Even in helpful bowling conditions, he has scooted to 21 from 24 balls.

Lawrence works his 11th ball off the pad for a couple to get off the mark. He played and missed twice early on but has played calmly since then.

5.1 overs: England 20-0 (Duckett 16, Lawrence 0) Vishwa is replaced by Kumara after only a couple of overs. His first delivery, a short ball down the leg side, beats Duckett’s attempted pull, then wobbles nastily and hits Chandimal on the end of of the finger. He’s in a bit of pain and the physio is coming on.

5th over: England 18-0 (Duckett 16, Lawrence 0) Duckett clatters a wide ball from Asitha behind square for three. He’s so dangerous, even when conditions are in the bowling team’s favour, because he can demoralise you so quickly.

Lawrence is still on nought after 10 balls, though theer’s no sign of him getting flustered.

4th over: England 15-0 (Duckett 13, Lawrence 0) Dan Lawrence is on his home ground but there’s nothing comforting about these conditions. He’s effectively an alien, opening the batting against the moving ball, and he is again beaten when he tries to work Vishwa to leg.

Lawrence starts to leave the ball after that, including one delivery that bursts from a length and almost hits Chandimal in the face. He manages to parry it for a bye. It’s actually Chandimal who is keeping, not Kusal Mendis.

Vishwa fails to adjust his line for Duckett, who clips crisply through square leg for four and flicks the next ball past midwicket for three. He’s surely the busiest opener England have ever had.

3rd over: England 6-0 (Duckett 6, Lawrence 0) Three strokes of luck for Duckett. First he is beaten, trying to smash Asitha into a different postcode; then he bottom-edges just past off stump and away for four; and finally he pushes warily at a beauty and is beaten. Duckett has quietly had a modest summer so he could also do with some runs. Not that he’s under any pressure for his place at this stage.

“Surely it isn’t surprising Josh Hull has an enormous ceiling, given how tall he is?” writes Smylers. “I’d’ve thought it’s something most people of his height would look for in a property, so they don’t keep banging their heads.”

It was only a matter of time.

2nd over: England 2-0 (Duckett 2, Lawrence 0) The left-armer Vishwa Fernando, brought back into the side, shares the new ball. In the past this would have been the kind of morning on which you want to leave as much as possible, but England aren’t wired that way. Dan Lawrence, who needs runs, is beaten by a beautiful full-length delivery, on off stump and moving away.

“You are going to have a tough time deciphering which Fernando bowled and which Mendis took the catch,” writes Krishnamoorthy V. “Best of luck with that. As if the existing dread of a typo is not daunting enough, another layer of complexity has been added to your tasks.”

Don’t worry, Krish: I’m a class act. (Also, Vishwa Fernando is a left-armer and Kusal Mendis is the keeper, so any old moron could tell them apart.)

1st over: England 1-0 (Duckett 1, Lawrence 0) No compromise from Duckett, who throws his hands at the third ball of the game and is beaten. He misjudged the length more than anything. There’s a touch of inswing for Asitha, nothing dramatic, and Duckett gets off the mark with a leading edge into the off side.

Thanks to Wayne Trotman for today’s TMS overseas link.

Asitha Fernando will open the bowling to Ben Duckett. It’s overcast and muggy, a perfect time to bowl.

“I’m another with very fond memories of 2004,” writes Will Vignoles. “As a 14-year-old, West Indies at Lord’s was the first time I went to a Test. there was brilliant cricket throughout, but the thing that really stuck in the memory from that summer was the return of Simon Jones.

“There’s a chance that this is all a fever dream caused by my now advanced age but I remember him bowling a ridiculous spell of reverse swing that only brought a couple of wickets but he seemed to beat the bat multiple times every over. He used it to much more devastating effect the following year of course, but that was a properly eye-opening moment. Probably the biggest what-if player for England of the 21st century?”

Without doubt. 26 years old when he walked off at Trent Bridge in 2005.

“I, for one, have very fond memories of that 2004 summer (and not just because of the Edgbaston dressing up trophy that still adorns my living room),” says Tom Hopkins. “Peak Freddie, efficiently chasing down (for the time) some stiff targets and a growing sense of ‘hey, we could actually do something against Australia’. I guess sometimes shadows can be cast forwards in time.”

I guess even when it’s about the destination, the journey can be all sorts of fun. The win in South Africa, when England were nowhere near their best, would have been the highlight of previous decades.

It’s dry (for now) and overcast at The Oval, a bowl-first day and no mistake.

Wanna play for England? Well you’d better start averaging 60 with the ball in first-class cricket. Josh Hull, 20, follows Shoaib Bashir in being picked on attributes rather than averages. And what attributes they are: 6ft 7ins, left-armer, bowls high 80s mph, swings it into the right-hander. In the parlance of our time, his ceiling is enormous.

Hull has just been presented with his Test cap by Andrew Flintoff. If you want to feel really old, he turned 1 during the 2005 Ashes.