It’s time for me to go and read The Semiotics of Zero, so I’ll leave you with Will Unwin’s report from Molineux. Goodnight!

“I’m sure,” says Peter Oh, “this result will generate zero speculation about a Liverpool title.”

90+4 min Gary Neville’s player of the match is Ryan Gravenberch, who has started the season so impressively as Liverpool’s No6.

90+3 min Gakpo slides a very inviting ball across the face of goal, but Alexander-Arnold knows he’s offside so he can’t touch it. Gakpo should probably have had a shot himself.

90+2 min Now Doyle’s deep cross is claimed with authority by the backpedalling Alisson. At least Wolves have had a few touches in the final third.

90+1 min Doyle’s clever backheel releases Forbs, whose cross from the right is headed away at the far post by Salah.

90 min Six minutes of added time.

89 min Apparently Wolves have had one touch in the final third in the last 19 minutes.

89 min: Liverpool substitution Andy Robertson goes off as a precaution, though he’s able to walk and looks okay. Joe Gomez replaces him.

88 min Forbs is booked for a poor tackle on Robertson, studs into the Achilles. Even though it wasn’t deliberate, in previous seasons he might have been sent off for that.

86 min Wolves’ fixture list does get a lot easier come November. The worry is that by then their morale will be through the floor. They pass the ball around at the back for 30 seconds or so, prompting Gary Neville to go on a rant about their lack of urgency.

83 min Robertson’s corner flashes across the face of goal and is fresh-aired by Jota, lurking beyond the far post. Liverpool keep the ball alive and Konate heads a cross over the bar. It was too high for him to control the header.

83 min An excellent cross from Jones, who has looked really sharp since coming on, is headed behind for another corner by Toti.

82 min Salah zips away from Ait-Nouri in the area, forcing Toti to come across and concede a corner.

81 min We know 2-1 is a precarious lead, almost as dangerous as 2-0, but it feels like Liverpool have the game under control. I can think of only one half chance for Forbs in the 20-odd minutes since Salah’s penalty.

80 min “Shirt numbers should be GUIDs,” says Richard Mullock. “That way every player in the world gets a globally unique identifier and we’ll have less of this distracting chat about who wears what. Trent wearing: ab7a01ea-6b28-444c-8107-cd531de9e8f1. I can see it now...”

Why would he be wearing an Aphex Twin song title?

78 min Jones combines nicely with Salah and drives an early shot towards the near post from 15 yards. Johnstone gets down smartly to his left to push it behind.

77 min: Wolves substitution Tommy Doyle replaces Santiago Bueno, which means a reshuffle of some description. Lemina might go into defence.

76 min The last man Semedo’s ball forward is charged down by Jones and ricochets kindly for Salah. Liverpool have a two on one but Salah’s pass towards Jones is peculiarly weak and Semedo cuts it out.

75 min Joao Gomes punches the ball in frustration after being penalised. Talking of which, this’ll never get old.

74 min “For those who may wish to ponder such things, I would recommend The Semiotics of Zero by Brian Rotman,” says David Watters. “What else are you going to do with your Saturday night?”

I had been planning to watch Pine Barrens for the 492nd time, but maybe it’s time to embrace the new.

73 min: Double substitution for Liverpool Cody Gakpo and Curtis Jones replace Luis Diaz and Dominik Szoboszlai.

72 min: Fine defending by Konate! A really good break from Wolves. Cunha slides a penetrative early pass to find the lively Forbs, playing on the left now. He chops inside Alexander-Arnold on the edge of the area and Konate comes across to deflect his shot behind for a corner. Hwang was unmarked at the far post but I don’t think Forbs saw him.

71 min The timing and manner of that penalty has knocked the stuffing out of Wolves, who look ripe for a knockout blow. They’ve got their chin in the air, is what I’m saying.

69 min “The Premier League luddite obsession with integers is a disgrace,” says Paul Griffin. “What’s wrong with the Chaitin Constant on the back of a shirt. I wouldn’t say the game’s gone but it’s tending toward zero.”

Believe it or not, this started out as a live blog of a football match.

68 min Cunha shoots tamely wide from the edge of the area after beating Alexander-Arnold.

Wolves substitution Hwang Hee-chan replaces Jorgen Strand Larsen.

65 min Salah cuts inside Ait-Nouri on the edge of the area and curls a decent shot towards the far corner. Johnstone palms it up in the air and grabs the dropping ball.

63 min “Yes the SFA,” begins Dylan Drummond, and that’s the nicest thing he’ll say about them, “still embarrassing Scotland in front of the whole world as usual, this time banning zero, probably in the hope that the scope of the ban could be extended to the number of goals Scotland usually score in a game of football.

“In other (quite old) news, in 1962 the SFA justified not entering the European Nations Cup qualification phase on the basis that Scotland ‘already had sufficient commitments, and could not possibly undertake to play any additional matches’. In 1962, Scotland played three Home Championship matches and one friendly. End of rant.”

I could happily read a few more paragraphs; you’re on fine form.

62 min Konate fouls Cunha and is booked. He’s gone from hero to… what’s that number again?

61 min “Zero is certainly considered a number now, but the Europeans managed without it until the 13c when it was introduced from the Hindu-Arabic number system,” says David Sutherland. “Not sure what they did about football games where no one scored…”

59 min: Penalty to Liverpool! Alexander-Arnold curls an inswinging cross towards Jota, who gets the wrong side of Semedo and is pulled over via the neck. Softish but this won’t be overturned; you can’t be putting your hand around someone’s neck, even tenderly.

58 min There was a VAR check, possibly to see whether Strand Larsen fouled Konate, but the goal stands.

Konate, who gave Liverpool the lead, is at fault for the equaliser. Robertson made a good sliding tackle on Strand Larsen on the edge of the area, after which Konate tried to shepherd the ball back to Alisson. He stayed on his line, Strand Larsen picked Konate’s pocket and laid the ball back to Forbs. He made a complete mess of his shot, almost falling over in the process, but the ball ran across the six-yard line and was put into the net with glee by Ait-Nouri.

55 min Forbs, who spent eight years at Manchester City as a young player, might give Wolves a bit more energy in attack. They’ve faded badly after a promising start and look really short on confidence.

53 min: Wolves substitution Carlos Forbs replaces Jean-Ricner Bellegarde.

51 min It’s probably harsh to say Salah missed an open goal. It all happened so quickly and his effort was part-interception, part-snapshot. It only registers 2.4 on the Rosenthalometer.

50 min: Salah misses an open goal! Johnstone passes the ball to Lemina, who plays a blind square pass across the face of the penalty area. Salah nips in front of Toti, with the goal completely open because Johnstone is busy playing Pirlo, but his instinctive shot flashes just wide of the far post.

49 min Wolves also have some good attacking options on the bench, including Pablo Sarabia, Goncalo Guedes and Hwang Hee-chan. I was going to say Jorgen Strand Larsen has had a poor game but he’s been increasingly isolated so it’s probably not his fault.

48 min Cunha has switched to the left to take on Alexander-Arnold. Jean-Ricner Bellegarde, who didn’t have a great first half, has moved to the right.

47 min “Retired actuary here,” boasts Joe Pearson. “Zero is indeed a number, and possibly the most critical in base 10 mathematical systems. Also, it is undoubtedly a cool number to wear, as demonstrated by Boston Celtics star Jayson Tatum (and indeed, many others).”

It’s also a bloody brilliant song.

46 min Peep peep! Wolves begin the second half.

Half-time reading

“In the early noughties, during his three-year stay in Scotland, Moroccan international and Aberdeen cult hero Hicham Zerouali wore the number 0 as a nod to his nickname, which was then promptly banned from being used as a squad number by the killjoys at the SFA the following season,” says Simon McMahon. “If we can have goalkeepers wearing 99, and outfield players with No1, what’s the problem with 0? Unless you think it’s not a number..?”

If it’s not a number, what is it? A way of life? A state of mind?

45+4 min Having got his hand to the ball, Johnstone might have done better there. It was a strangely weak attempt at a save.

Konate stayed up front when a Liverpool corner was only half cleared. Jota swerved away from Strand Larsen on the left and lifted a really good cross into the middle. Konate arrived between Bueno and Toti to thump a downward header through Johnstone’s left hand and into the net.

45+1 min Salah controls a long ball beautifully and skips away from Toti, who makes an important recovery tackle in the area.

45 min Four minutes of added time.

42 min “I lived just off Newmarket Road 1989-1992, walking distance from the Abbey Stadium,” says Stephen Gibb. “John Beck’s Cambridge United almost cured my love of football for good.”

Any team that includes Dion Dublin can’t be that bad, surely.

40 min: Great chance for Liverpool! That’s an even better opportunity. Robertson’s perfect first-time cross is met by Szoboszlai, whose cushioned volley from six yards hits the inside of Johnstone’s leg and deflects behind for a corner. It’s a memorable save from Johnstone, and his footwork across his line was very good, but Szoboszlai really should have scored.

38 min Diaz seems to foul Andre in the Wolves area, but play continues and he overruns the ball while trying to cut inside the last defender. If that wasn’t a foul it was a great chance for Diaz.

38 min “And a decreasing number of people will remember John Beck as a cultured (yes, that’s right) midfielder at Fulham. Great choice of soundtrack by the way.”

It’s the cultured ones you’ve gotta watch.

36 min Oh, scratch that, Jota has been booked, as have a couple of people on one of the benches. We don’t yet know who it was, or even what bench they’re sitting on.

Edit: it was one on each bench, Shaun Derry for Wolves and Sipke Hulshoff for Liverpool.

35 min Jota’s studs catch Lemina on the Achilles. No yellow card but there’s a VAR check.

35 min Even without Darwin Nunez, who is unwell, Liverpool have plenty of attacking options on the bench should it stay like this: Gakpo, Chiesa, Jones, even Conor Bradley.

34 min “Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons or the passing of the years, but I feel a strange melancholy for our young people’s future…” says Tim Woods. “One in which no one drinks in pubs, no one watches Test cricket, and no one raises an immediately smile at a reference to John Beck’s Cambridge.”

32 min The free-kick is touched off to Alexander-Arnold, who rifles the ball straight at Johnstone. That’s Liverpool’s first shot on target.

30 min Andre is booked for a lunging tackle on Mac Allister just outside the Wolves penalty area. He got the ball but then caught the man as his studs slipped off the top.

29 min An extended spell of Liverpool possession ends when Alexander-Arnold’s cross just evades the stretching Jota on the six-yard line.

28 min “Vindication!” is the subject of James Humphries’ email. “See? I was just circling the correct date, sheepdog-like. Drink your point of shame, Smyth.”

26 min There’s been a 12.30pm sluggishness to Liverpool’s performance, which is a bit strange. Diaz tries to energise them with a surge infield and a shot that deflects behind for a corner.

24 min A couple of moments ago, Arne Slot called Szoboszlai over for a chat while the game was going on. He’s not afraid to make early changes, as we saw at Ipswich, and at the moment Liverpool are second best.

22 min Semedo gets round the back again, keeps the ball in play and feeds it back to Cunha on the right edge of the area. He sweeps a curling shot that is comfortably held to his right by Alisson.

21 min Semedo somehow escapes three Liverpool players on the right and curls a dangerous cross that is pawed away by Alisson. Then Konate and Van Dijk make important interceptions. “Liverpool look well off it,” says Gary Neville on Sky.

20 min Well I’ll be dipped in surprise: Colum Farrelly informs us that Scotland’s squad numbers at Italia 90 were assigned in descending order of caps won (apart from the No1 goalkeeper because that would just be silly, Ossie). And here’s the proof.

17 min That corner leads to another, which is eventually cleared by Joao Gomes.

16 min A jittery Sam Johnstone, who had a pass intercepted earlier in the game, tries to play a simple square ball to a Wolves defender and instead puts it behind for a corner.

John Beck’s Cambridge never had this problem, that’s all I’ll say on the subject.

15 min Bellegarde’s inswinging cross is slightly too high for Strand Larsen, who heads the ball up and eventually behind for a goal kick. Wolves are doing pretty well, though.

13 min “I assume ‘drink your point’ was a typo,” says James Humphries, “but damned if it doesn’t resonate.”

And I haven’t even had the usual pre-MBM pints today.

12 min Robertson flashes a dangerous cross that evades Salah at the far post. He got the wrong side of Ait-Nouri, who challenged a little clumsily, but there wasn’t enough contact to engage Stockley Park’s finest.

10 min Salah’s deflected cross just evades Jota, who made a really good run towards the near post.

9 min Nothing much to report. Plenty of free-kicks, and as I type a little box on the TV informs us that Wolves have had 62 per cent possession.

7 min “Aw, nuts,” says James Humphries (see 2 min). “Roxburgh in 92, maybe? I was so sure of this, and I’m still mostly sober.”

Not according to Wikipedia. Drink your point; some battles aren’t worth fighting.

6 min Alexander-Arnold kicks the ball away, and you know what that means: he’s in Anthony Taylor’s book.

6 min Bellegarde, who has started on the left, gets away from Alexander-Arnold but shoots tamely from the left side of the area. Alisson makes an easy save.

5 min“Keane Elbow,” says Albert Farkas. “Weren‘t those the top two in the NME‘s most hated list circa 2004?”

Ha. Were they still in love with Razorlight at that stage?

4 min Quite a slow start to the game, with Liverpool happy to keep the ball and Wolves waiting for opportunities to counter-attack.

2 min “Settling my nerves with a pint and a read after a, uh, tense game at Fir Park (finished with ten men on each side),” says James Humphries, “and I reckon can go you one better on the silly buggers teamsheets – was it not Ally MacLeod who decided to number the 1978 team according to how many caps they had? Howling madness, man.”

I would love this to be true, because the legend of Scotland 78 isn’t strong enough as it is, but Wikipedia suggests otherwise.

1 min Peep peep! Liverpool kick off from left to right as we watch.

“Cold Trigger,” writes Niall Mullen. It took me a second but I got it in the end.

“Please continue to express your pleasure in Raul Jimenez’s return to form,” says Richard Hirst. “It was clearly your encouragement which led to him scoring the winner for us. Top six - woooo!”

Fulham could easily have won at Old Trafford as well; had you done so you’d be level with City and Arsenal.

“Rob, I face a stateside Everton fan dilemma,” says Mary Waltz. “As I bask in the rosy afterglow of today’s victory, dizzy from the heights of 15th place in the table, who should I root for? For Wolves to vanquish our ancient Red Enemy, or take a more strategic tact and cheer for any of our basement-dwelling relegation partners to lose?”

It’s too early to worry about relegation, even for Everton. Sit back, relax and sing Hi-Ho Wolverhampton with all your might.

“Well, I’m still convinced that when Villa beat Liverpool 5-1 in December 1976, that it lowered my natural disease resistance such that I had six weeks off work with pneumonia in January,” says Alec Smith. “Mind you, it was a bitter cold night and me & my dad were on the, what was then, exposed Witton Lane End.”

Sorry, I should have asked why late goals specifically would trigger a cold. (Also, weren’t Villa 5-1 up at half-time in that game? You could’ve gone home.)

“Cold trigger,” says a matter-of-fact Pete Higginson. “West Park. The goals flu in.”

“On the sofa waiting to follow the game,” says Pete Higginson. “Had a cold all week triggered by the late trouncing by Villa. Salami toasties for tea. Gary O’Neil gone by breakfast.”

I’m intrigued: how does a football match trigger a cold?

Plenty of activity in the 3pm games. Cole Palmer scored four times in the first half, Arsenal needed an injury-time goal to beat Leicester and Everton came from behind to win their first league game of the season. David Tindall will give you chapter and verse.

“Loath as I am to ever criticise Liverpool,” understates Matt Dony, “I wish they wouldn’t publish the team sheet in numerical order. Diaz at left CB? Robertson and Alexander-Arnold on either side of the front three? It would be entertaining, at least…”

It’s not as annoying as the clubs who play silly buggers and deliberately put the team in the wrong formation.