Here’s Ali. We’ll be back tonight/tomorrow for day three of this Test.

Ali Martin’s report will be along shortly. In the meantime, the pink-ball Test between Australia and India is beautifully poised.

75th over: England 373-5 (Root 70, Stokes 33) Southee strays onto the pads of Root, who accepts the offer of a boundary with an efficient clip to fine leg. If England do bat on tomorrow he’ll have the chance to join Rahul Dravid on 36 Test hundreds. Only Tendulkar, Kallis, Ponting and Sangakkara have more.

Time for one more over. England’s lead is 528.

74th over: England 364-5 (Root 65, Stokes 30) While Stokes is trying to hit everything for four, and mistiming the majority, Root has only hit one boundary in the last 30 overs. He’s more than happy to collect ones and twos, and his overall scoring rate – 65 from 99 balls – is perfectly fine.

Stokes continues his peculiar slogathon by swatting a bouncer from Smith towards deep backward square. Ravindra loses it in the sun and the ball lands safely.

73rd over: England 361-5 (Root 64, Stokes 28) The last session has been pretty dull, though you can’t blame either team for that. The game progressed so quickly in the first five sessions that a change of tempo was inevitable at some stage.

With three, possibly four overs remaining tonight, England lead by 516.

72nd over: England 357-5 (Root 63, Stokes 26) Stokes is trying so hard to hit boundaries that he’s beginning to lose his shape. In fact his innings has almost ground to a halt; he has 26 from 13 balls.

There are only 17 minutes remaining so there won’t be a declaration tonight.

71st over: England 351-5 (Root 62, Stokes 22) Stokes swings Phillips over long on for six more, a sweet, almost languid golf shot. That takes the lead past 500 but Stokes is batting on and has 22 from 8 balls. Imagine if he did break McCullum’s record for the fastest Test hundred. Banter would never be the same again.

70th over: England 340-5 (Root 61, Stokes 12) Stokes charges his first ball and heaves it through midwicket for four, because that’s what people do in Test cricket these days.

Not content with that, Stokes launches his third ball into the crowd at midwicket, because etc. Perhaps Stokes wants a piece of Gilbert Jessop’s record – or even Brendon McCullum’s. More likely is that he’ll walk off when England’s lead hits 500.

69th over: England 327-4 (Root 60, Pope 10) “Rising to the earlier observation on comms about the lack of films about cricket statisticians,” begins Brian Withington, “can I offer a few whimsical suggestions for the small hours:

• Arithmetic Now

• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Scorecard

• The Good, The Bad and The Average

• Remains of the Over

• One Flew Over The Scoreboard

• Along Came a Leg-bye

“I’ll get my coat.”

An anorak, I trust.

68th over: England 322-4 (Root 58, Pope 7) Root pulls Henry smoothly for two, with Conway making a good rolling stop on the boundary. He has 58 from 88 balls; Pope, who apparently only comes out swinging when England are in trouble, has 7 from 22.

67th over: England 318-4 (Root 55, Pope 6) England take three more singles off Phillips. It’s rare that Ben Stokes’ England allow a game to drift like this, although given the match situation they can do as they please. England lead by 473.

66th over: England 315-4 (Root 53, Pope 5) The alternative for England, given there are still three days remaining, is to bat on tomorrow and set New Zealand a soul-crushing target of, ooh, let’s say 648. That’s not usually Ben Stokes’ style but he does like to confound expectations from time to time.

Henry continues his spell, an exercise in futility that he doesn’t really deserve after bowling so beautifully yesyerday morning. Two more singles from the over.

65th over: England 313-4 (Root 52, Pope 4) Two from Phillips’ over. It’s not entirely clear what England are up to here; there’s certainly no attempt to reach a lead of 500 as quickly as possible. They are currently 468 runs ahead.

BREAKING NEWS: JASPRIT BUMRAH IS JASPRIT BUMRAH

64th over: England 311-4 (Root 51, Pope 3) Ben Stokes is padded up so maybe a declaration isn’t imminent. There’s just under an hour left to play tonight/this morning/this afternoon/g’day.

It’s hard to know what to say as this passage of play is essentially filler. Erm, Ollie Pope doesn’t look frenetic?

63rd over: England 308-4 (Root 50, Pope 2) Root pulls Phillips for a single to reach his first fifty of the series and the 100th 50+ score of his Test career. Only Tendulkar, Kallis and Ponting have more. He’s made it look easy because that’s his gift.

62nd over: England 306-3 (Root 49, Brook 55) Brook tries to ramp Southee, misses and ends up doing a forward roll outside off stump. That’s normal as well.

Root glides Southee past short third to move from 45 to 49. Meanwhile there’s been an early wicket in Adelaide; I shan’t insult your intelligence by telling you who took it.

61st over: England 300-3 (Root 44, Brook 54) Phillips apologises after accidentally elbowing Brook in the grille, an apology that Brook accepts straight away. Root works a single to bring up the 300 in the 61st over, and nobody bats an eyelid. This mob has normalised scoring at five an over in whites.

“The infinite faith Stokes has invested in Zak Crawley,” begins Ben Barclay, “mirrors an infinite disregard for a legion of up and coming cricketers who never got a look.”

He was England’s best player against Australia and India, who they meet again this year, and in theory his game is perfectly suited to Australian pitches. If England thought there was a better option, they would pick him, surely.

60th over: England 295-3 (Root 41, Brook 52) Brook steers Henry over slip for four to reach the usual half-century from 56 balls. I don’t think Gilbert Jessop’s record for England’s fastest hundred (76 balls) is in danger today after all, but it’s been another fun innings from an extraordinary player.

Time for drinks.

59th over: England 286-3 (Root 39, Brook 45) Root takes Phillips off middle stump, reverse sweeping deftly for two. He’s enjoying the opportunity to stockpile some relatively easy runs and move closer to Sachin Tendulkar on the all-time list. Root is now within 600 of overtaking Ricky Ponting in second place. Tendulkar is a further 2550-odd away.

58th over: England 281-3 (Root 35, Brook 44)

57th over: England 278-3 (Root 33, Brook 43) Brook cuts Phillips impatiently for three to move into the forties. I wonder whether he might play normally until he gets to fifty and then looking forGilbert Jessop. Brook struck something like six sixes in nine balls off Adam Zampa in the summer so he could try something similar against Phillips. For now he has 43 from 46 balls, Root 33 from 59.

56th over: England 272-3 (Root 31, Brook 39) The lead is now a whopping 427.

Root is not out

Leg. And as Root was well outside the line there’s no need to check for the LBW.

In their understandable desperation, New Zealand have lost all three reviews.

New Zealand review for caught behind against Root!

Root suddenly jumped into position for the reverse ramp, and the ball brushed something on its way through to Blundell. Bat or leg?

55th over: England 271-3 (Root 31, Brook 38) Brook deliberately whirls Phillips over short fine leg for for more. It feels like Brook has played sedately yet he’s still going at almost a run a ball. Savour every boundary, because it hasn’t always this good watching England play Test cricket.

54th over: England 266-3 (Root 31, Brook 33) Matt Henry almost strikes with the first ball of a new spell when Root top-edges a pull that lands short of fine leg.

These passages of play must be so demoralising for a fielding side; New Zealand know the game and the series are gone, but there’s another 24 hours of admin to endure.

In other news, play is about to begin on day two of the second Test between Australia and India. Big first hour, big first session, big second day. You can follow it with Jim Wallace.

53rd over: England 262-3 (Root 29, Brook 31) Glenn Phillips takes over from O’Rourke. He bowls very straight to Root, turning the ball past leg stump, and Blundell has the bails off a couple of time when Root misses attempted sweep shots. His back foot didn’t leave the crease on either occasion.

52nd over: England 259-3 (Root 27, Brook 30) Smith continues to steam in as if England were leading by 41 rather than 414. With Tim Southee about to retire and Matt Henry turning 33 next week, Smith feels like a good find – especially as he can bat as well.

51st over: England 255-3 (Root 24, Brook 29) Brook backs away to clonk O’Rourke over mid-off for two, then clips through mid-on for three. It’s fair to say Brook’s into his work now; he scored 5 off his first 14 balls and 25 off the next 14.

50th over: England 249-3 (Root 23, Brook 24) There are still two hours remaining tonight – you won’t believe the over-rate – so England may well declare even though there are more than three days remaining.

49th over: England 246-3 (Root 21, Brook 23) A short ball from O’Rourke doesn’t get up, yet Brook still manages to pull it through square leg for four with perfect placement. That’s a quite brilliant stroke.

O’Rourke replies with a lovely slower ball that dupes Brook, who is through his pull shot way too early yet still manages to get an inadvertent single off the back of the bat. Root fetches two more through midwicket to take England’s lead past 400.

48th over: England 238-3 (Root 18, Brook 18) Brook wallops Smith through extra cover for four, then spoons a back-of-a-length ball just short of mid-on. There’s still plenty of bounce in this pitch, even with a ball that is 48 overs old.

47th over: England 232-3 (Root 17, Brook 13) Brook charges O’Rourke, has a one-handed yahoo and gets four over the slip cordon. For the 474th time today, O’Rourke shakes his head ruefully.

“Even if you don’t have to pay any IHT, how does being an ex-farmer feel?” asks John Starbuck in response to my earlier comment about betting the farm on something or other.

I’m glad to say the farm, and the potential wager, are entirely imaginary.

46th over: England 224-3 (lead by 379; Root 16, Brook 5) Brook survives an LBW appeal – and review – after being hit on the front pad by a nipbacker from Smith. It was close enough, umpire’s call on impact, so New Zealand keep their last review.

In the first innings Brook attacked straight away so as to change the momentum. England have it today, which means he can take a bit of time to get his eye in. He has 6 from 15 balls, Root 16 from 24.

45th over: England 222-3 (Root 15, Brook 5) O’Rourke produces another beautiful delivery to beat Root outside off stump. He looks so unpleasant to face, a bit like Steve Harmison in his bat-jarring pomp.

Root tries an uppercut, both feet off the ground, and is beaten for the second time in the over. Another excellent over from O’Rourke.

44th over: England 220-3 (Root 14, Brook 4) Nathan Smith returns to the attack after tea. Joe Root, who has fallen to Smith in both Tests, drives immaculately through mid-on for four.

I doubt any bowler in cricket history has had a debut series quite like Smith’s, whose overall figures are 50.2-1-310-7. And don’t forget the dropped catches.

Buckle up buttercup. The players are back on the field, and England are unlikely to be batting time.

Teatime reading

“Bethell,” says James Brough. “He’s a bit good, isn’t he? Am I the only one reminded of David Gower? Blond, elegant left-hander, picked despite an underwhelming first class record... Hits the ball harder than Gower, though. Gower just persuaded the ball to the fence. Bethell clumps it like it’s insulted his mother.”

Heh. The comparison with Gower is a good one, and if he wanted Bethell could probably play with the same kind of dreamy elegance. As you say, the mindset is totally different.

42nd over: England 211-3 (Root 9, Brook 0) Given that Harry Brook teed off at 43 for 4 in the first innings, I think we know what his approach will be today.

“Every time this cynical old git suspects that the England experiment is at risk of running off the rails, they find a way of surprising and delighting,” writes Brian Withington. “The Stokes mini-meltdown in Pakistan gets acknowledged, owned and moved past. Yet another leftfield selection comes good despite just missing out on a well-deserved first century (as I type). A tough series against a recently triumphant NZ looks to be almost in the bag on day two of the 2nd Test.

“There of course may be stronger sides out there but if there’s been a more entertaining Test team in recent memory then I’ve missed them. All it needs now is for Zak Crawley to come good and dominate next winter?”

I adore this team, possibly even more than the 2005 lot and I thought that was impossible. I pray they win the Ashes but even if they lose 5-0 I’ll be eternally grateful for the fun, the euphoria, the hope, the humanity, the occasional hubris and even the cock-ups they’ve given us since May 2022.

That’s another frustrating near miss for Duckett, who has been dismissed N-I-N-E times between 71 and 99 in Tests, but he’s done his job by putting this game beyond New Zealand.

41st over: England 209-2 (Duckett 90, Root 9) O’Rourke shakes his head in disgust when Root clips a loose delivery to the square-leg boundary. His mood isn’t improved when Root back cuts four more with the minmum of fuss. England lead by 364.

40th over: England 200-2 (Duckett 89, Root 1) Root cuts Southee for a single to get off the mark. He’s had a modest run of scores since that career-best 262 – I make it 117 runs at 19.50 – so he’d like a few here. Duckett then drives Southee fractionally short of Wiliamson at extra over.

I forgot to give you Bethell’s numbers: 96 from 118 balls with 10 fours and three sixes. You can’t go round doing things like that at the age of 21. “Step up to Test cricket, played better.”

39th over: England 197-2 (Duckett 87, Root 0) O’Rourke needs a change of footwear, which leads to a short break in play. His figures (9-0-42-0) are a scandal by the way.

Root is not out!

Yep, it missed the inside edge and brushed his jumper on the way through.

New Zealand review for caught behind against Root!

The bowler O’Rourke wasn’t sure and I suspect it’s not out. It was a fine delivery, which jagged back to cut Root in half, but I think it missed the inside edge.

38th over: England 196-2 (Duckett 86, Root 0) Who knows whether Bethell’s attempt to rush through the nineties was due to nerves or because he was struck on the arm by O’Rourke. If it was nerves it’s out of character, but I guess he’s never experienced anything like this before. In fact, that 96 is his highest first-class score.

Bethell suddenly started playing skittishly, possibly because of that blow on the arm from O’Rourke in the previous over. He top-edged a pull that landed safely, inside-edged past the stumps then outside-edge for four. That took him to 96 – but then he chased a widish delivery from Southee and snicked it through to Blundell.

No century for Bethell but it surely won’t be long. The entire England balcony are on their feet to applaud him as he walks off.

37th over: England 187-1 (Duckett 83, Bethell 90) Will O’Rourke, who had no luck earlier in the day, replaces Phillips and takes out his frustration on Jacob Bethell. A lifter hits high on the bat and drops short of O’Rourke, then a heartfelt short ball whacks Bethell on the arm. He’s okay, I think.

Whatever the state of the series for New Zealand, O’Rourke has confirmed that he is a helluva find.

36th over: England 186-1 (Duckett 82, Bethell 90) Southee replaces Matt Henry, whose majestic opening spell on day one is a distant memory. They were loose in Christchurch but I’m not sure they’ve done that much wrong in this game; it’s just that England have dredged a performance from their 2022-23 peak.

Bethell hammers a cut to deep point to move into the nineties. He’s barely 21, he’s never made a first-class century – but I’d bet the farm that he isn’t particularly nervous.

35th over: England 183-1 (Duckett 80, Bethell 88) Duckett misses a sinew-straining smear at Phillips and has to stab his back foot down to negate a potential stumping. He takes a single, then Bethell drives another to long off to move to 89. Be still my cold, dead beating heart.

34th over: England 180-1 (Duckett 78, Bethell 88) In a broader sense, this series continues one of the great years of Test cricket. It started with two stunning wins in one day – West Indies in Brisbane, England in Hyderabad – and has ignored all logic ever since. England, who came into this series under a whole load of pressure, are on the cusp of hammering the team that hammered India in India.

33rd over: England 176-1 (Duckett 76, Bethell 86) Good lord. Bethell takes a step back in his crease and pummels Phillips over long on for six. That’s an awesome shot from a ball that really wasn’t that short. The usual low-risk singles move him to within 14 of a remarkable achievement.

32nd over: England 166-1 (Duckett 74, Bethell 78) One of the all-time greats made his maiden first-class century in a Test match: Kumar Sangakkara against India at Galle in 2001. But no specialist batter has done so for England; it’s all keepers and bowlers. Here’s the full list for all countries.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Bethell almost hits his the deck after inside-edging Henry onto his knee. He’s fine but it’s a reminder that there’s still a bit in this pitch for the seamers.

31st over: England 164-1 (Duckett 73, Bethell 77) Thanks Simon, morning everyone. Phillips continues to Bethell, who is three-quarters of the way to a maiden century in first-class cricket, never mind Tests. Gus Atkinson achieved that feat in the summer but I’ve no idea who was the last top-order batter to do so for England.

Three easy singles extend England’s lead to 319. It feels only a couple of hours since they were 43 for 4 and in big trouble.

And that’s drinks. Not only that, it’s also time for me to hand over to Rob Smyth. See ya!

30th over: England 161-1 (Duckett 72, Bethell 75) Matt Henry continues. The life is ebbing out of New Zealand, almost visibly. They’ve had no luck, their position in the match is entirely grim, and with more than three and a half days to play, even if one of them sounds a bit windy and rainy, they’re pretty much waiting to find out whether England plan to give them a sliver of hope, or none at all.

29th over: England 156-1 (Duckett 71, Bethell 71) It does always please me when the two batters have precisely the same score. Bethell has faced five more balls, if you’re counting.

28th over: England 152-1 (Duckett 69, Bethell 69) England stretch their lead past 300, and their chances of victory (per CricViz) to 96%.

Gus Atkinson’s hat-trick a little earlier, meanwhile, makes him the seventh member of this very small club:

27th over: England 149-1 (Duckett 67, Bethell 68) Six off Phillips’ second over, four of them singles. Bethell, already England’s eighth-youngest half-centurion, and their seventh-youngest, er, scorer of at least 68, is, Rob Smyth informs me, tiptoeing towards becoming their fourth-youngest centurion. He’d be the youngest since Compton in 1939.

26th over: England 143-1 (Duckett 63, Bethell 66) This pair are playing well, for sure, but they are also enjoying the very vigorous rub of the very dark green. This time O’Rourke gets a bit of extra bounce and the ball thumps Duckett’s glove and flies, harmlessly, to nobody.

25th over: England 135-1 (Duckett 57, Bethell 64) Glenn Phillips is having a bowl now. One run off it.

24th over: England 134-1 (Duckett 56, Bethell 64) O’Rourke bowls short at Bethell, so short that the ball doesn’t just fly over his head but Blundell’s as well. Five wides. The next is pulled for four.

23rd over: England 122-1 (Duckett 55, Bethell 58) I’ve got to be honest, I see nothing of this over because of WiFi issues. Which is a shame, because it appears that Duckett actually connected with a ramp. Third time lucky, etc.

22nd over: England 116-1 (Duckett 50, Bethell 57) Duckett gets a single off O’Rourke’s first ball to reach 50. This is the fourth triple-figure partnership of the series, and the first not featuring Harry Brook. New Zealand’s best is the 69 between Mitchell and Williamson in Christchurch, level with the other 69 between Mitchell and Williamson in Christchurch.

21st over: England 114-1 (Duckett 49, Bethell 56) Smith bowls short at Duckett, fielders set, daring him to take it on. He takes it on. The ball drops short of the fielder at long leg.

20th over: England 112-1 (Duckett 48, Bethell 55) An inside edge from Bethell sends the ball well wide of the stumps and away for four. Then Duckett smacks the last past backward point for four more.

19th over: England 103-1 (Duckett 44, Bethell 50) Smith bowls a cracker to Duckett, too good for the batter to get anything on it. The bowlers are still occasionally producing really good balls and creating very decent chances. They just haven’t been taking any wickets. A single for each batter, Bethell’s taking him to his second half-century of the series. His scores so far: 10, 50 not out, 16, 50 not out.

18th over: England 101-1 (Duckett 43, Bethell 49) An over in which England take their score into triple figures and their lead past 250. The highest fourth-innings run chases on this ground (and the only four of more than 200): 277-3 by Pakistan in 2003, 234-4 by South Africa in 2004, 217-3 by New Zealand against Bangladesh in 2017, and 215-6 by New Zealand against India in 1998.

17th over: England 93-1 (Duckett 40, Bethell 44) It’s Smith rather than Henry from the other end. Bethell pushes the first back to him, and Smith grabs it and chucks it at the stumps/batter/whatever might be in the way; Bethell’s emergency evasive action sees him end up on his back, and Blundell has to be on the ball to dive and grab it. Then Bethell pushes the second back towards and beyond him for four! And then a big edge! But it flies between keeper and slip and neither moves!

16th over: England 84-1 (Duckett 40, Bethell 35) Southee gets things back under way. His last ball elicits a brief lbw appeal: the umpire’s unimpressed and quite right too, given Duckett got a thick edge on it. In not entirely related news, New Zealand Cricket have unveiled another lovely trophy. Here’s my bit on the Crowe-Thorpe Trophy, which these two teams are scrapping over.

Righty ho, the players are back out and New Zealand have a deep hole to dig their way out of. Let’s see how they get on, shall we?

An email! “There was plenty of criticism of Bethell’s selection ahead of others who have been working for exactly that in the County Championship,” writes John Burton. “I think it should be admitted that he looks the part. He’s not the first example of a successful ‘punt’, suggesting that perhaps there should be a little more restraint from some. Now to cross my fingers and hope that’s not put a curse on him!” There has been growing excitement about him literally since he was about 13, and he does indeed look very decent. But every decent shot he plays makes me feel a little bit more sorry for Jordan Cox, who should be in this team but is instead at home nursing a broken thumb.

14th over: England 81-1 (Duckett 38, Bethell 34) Southee comes back, and his first ball rears up, flicks Duckett’s edge, or perhaps a glove, and flies way over Blundell and away for four. Quite extraordinary misbehaviour from the ball there. Complete disregard for social niceties. The last ball of the over also goes for four, this time off the very middle of Bethell’s bat and thence past mid-on.

13th over: England 72-1 (Duckett 33, Bethell 30) Three singles off Smith, a relatively sedate over as minds perhaps turn towards luncheon.

12th over: England 69-1 (Duckett 31, Bethell 29) O’Rourke bangs one in short, Duckett takes it on, and he top-edges over the cordon for four. Next delivery he backpedals a couple of paces and cuts a ball that was heading well wide of leg stump for a single. Then the last ball beats Bethell completely; there’s still life in this pitch for the seamers.

11th over: England 62-1 (Duckett 25, Bethell 28) Chance! Of sorts! Smith to Bethell, who gets a chunky edge that sends it wide of Latham at second slip. I think it just about carried, passing the fielder at ankle height, but he’s nowhere near it and really it would have been a phenomenal catch had he pulled it off. Which, just to be clear, he did not. At all. From there it goes for four, and a couple of balls later Bethell heaves his second six of the morning over midwicket.

10th over: England 50-1 (Duckett 24, Bethell 18) Duckett has another go at that scoop, this time off O’Rourke. Like his previous attempt a few overs ago, he misses it entirely.

9th over: England 50-1 (Duckett 23, Bethell 18) Dropped! Smith’s first ball just tickles Duckett’s edge on its way down leg and Blundell dives to his right and gets webbed glovetips to it, but is not even close to actually catching it. A hard chance, to be sure, but that goes down as a drop.

8th over: England 49-1 (Duckett 22, Bethell 18) Henry bowls one short, into Duckett’s body. Duckett dismisses it for six, in the process taking England’s lead over 200. Cricviz gives the tourists a 92% chance of winnings this game.

7th over: England 40-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 18) Nathan Smith comes in, and Bethell smites him over deep backward square leg for six! He spends the remainder of the over admiring it.

6th over: England 34-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 12) Duckett skitters sideways and attempts – but completely misses – a scoop against Henry. “I really feel that all the interminable talk about who should bat at No3 isn’t really grappling with the fact that under current circumstances the England No3 is a de facto opener.” There is a long-term top-order issue. England have any number of proven or promising middle-order batters, and basically some of them need to play in the top three. Those who end up doing so don’t like it particularly, but it’s better than not playing at all.

5th over: England 30-1 (Duckett 11, Bethell 11) Southee to Duckett, who advances a couple of twinkle-toed steps and clubs down the ground for four. As the over ends Bethell has 11, Duckett has 11, Bethell has faced 11 and Duckett has faced, disappointingly, 12. “There’s no greater conceit than judging pitches,” writes Gary Naylor, apropos my preamble, posted about 90 minutes and many, many wickets ago. “Good to hear our next Henry V has no truck with such alchemists. See ball, hit ball - that’s our Harry. It won’t always work, but, when it does, don’t drop the chances.” That’s precisely it. I worry it would be a bad idea to unnecessarily force other thoughts into his head.

4th over: England 23-1 (Duckett 5, Bethell 10) Henry to Duckett, who attacks and lifts over mid-off. He doesn’t really get hold of it, though, and it’s chased down before it can limp to the rope. The next is clipped off his pads, nicely timed, and past mid-on by Bethell for four, and he pulls the last to the rope for four more.

3rd over: England 12-1 (Duckett 2, Bethell 2) Maybe we can all just calm down a bit, eh? Just for a little while?

2nd over: England 10-1 (Duckett 1, Bethell 1) And so the first hour of day two comes to an end, two balls into the second over of the game’s third innings. In that time we had 10.1 overs, 47 runs and six wickets. It’s fair to say the game’s moving on.

1st over: England 8-0 (Crawley 8, Duckett 0) Southee starts things off, and Crawley smears the first ball of the innings through cover for four! Then the second ball of the innings goes the same way! He tries to do it again off the last, but picks out the fielder at cover.

The players are on their way back out for the start of England’s second innings. A 155-run lead on this surface, and two seamers in the highest of spirits, is a significant advantage. “I was following the OBO and just switched on live streaming to see Atkinson’s hat-trick ball. Nice bit of double bluff, setting the field for a short ball and utterly foxing Tim Southee, a high-class number 11,” writes Colum Fordham. “England really do seem to have found two jewels in Atkinson and Carse, never mind Wood and Archer. What a topsy turvy state of affairs with the Kiwis whitewashing India away from home and now in serious danger of succumbing in the second test to England on their home turf. Who writes the scripts?”

The TV umpire is checking it, but the players are already on their way off the field!

34th over: New Zealand 121-7 (Phillips 16, Smith 10) The Wizard tries to cast a spell, Woakes replacing Carse in the day’s first bowling change. It’s fair to say he doesn’t immediately succeed: Phillips pushes one back past him for four, and then the next between gully and point with similar reward, Phillips doubling his score in the space of two balls to become the (joint) third-highest scorer of the innings.

33rd over: New Zealand 113-7 (Phillips 8, Smith 10) Atkinson continues, and Phillips cracks one past point for four, nicely done. News of Wellington’s worrying weather has not impressed everyone: “Currently following your reports in Co Mayo, in the no power dark, as we’re lashed by the latest Atlantic storm to roll in!” writes Joe Corrigan. “Severe gales? Is that all? The Kiwis don’t know how lucky they are this weekend,” writes John Starbuck, who could be pretty much anywhere in the northern hemisphere. If it helps, my water supply has been completely borked for hours.

32nd over: New Zealand 108-7 (Phillips 3, Smith 10) Carse’s first delivery careens back into Phillips and very nearly slices him in two. Later Smith gets off the mark with four, hit with very little power but obviously nice timing and off it trundles past mid-off. He was clearly saving the power for the next one, which he bludgeons over deep square leg for six!

31st over: New Zealand 97-7 (Phillips 2, Smith 0) Just the one single off Atkinson’s over, most of which to be frank was bowled while I was still thinking about the previous one.

30th over: New Zealand 96-7 (Phillips 1) A Goldilocks over from Carse: the first is too full=, and Blundell punches through cover for a couple, and the next is too short, and Blundell pulls for four. Then he gets one just right.

29th over: New Zealand 89-5 (Blundell 10, O’Rourke 0) A single for Blundell, who roars into double figures off his 16th ball, and three more for O’Rourke who has now faced 25 without scoring. The New Zealand Met Service helpfully publish laundry drying times, which tomorrow they put at between one and three hours. Morning showers unhelpful; severe gales quite handy.

28th over: New Zealand 88-5 (Blundell 9, O’Rourke 0) A Carse maiden to O’Rourke, who’s well beaten by a yorker that flies six inches wide of off stump. Meanwhile Ian Rivett sends me tomorrow’s forecast from the New Zealand Met Service, which sounds concerning: “Showers developing in the morning. Northwesterlies, rising to severe gale in exposed places in the afternoon gusting 140 km/h.”

27th over: New Zealand 88-5 (Blundell 9, O’Rourke 0) Gus Atkinson to Blundell, whose focus is very much on defence. The best ball catches the inside edge and from there hits the batter in the thigh. There’s a couple off the fifth.

“If every partnership gets us 20-30 that gets us pretty close to their score with hopefully some good seam bowling conditions this arvo for us,” says Nathan Smith. “Probably today you’ll see the last of the seam-friendly conditions before it flattens out.” Let’s see, shall we?

Lord David Gower on the telly is sounding quite croaky this morning. He’ll be positively gravel-voiced after a long day’s commentary. The players are currently loitering on the boundary edge, readying themselves for action.

“Apparently it’s said here that ‘you can’t beat Wellington on a good day’,” writes Mark Hollingsworth. “Well it’s pretty well perfect today, so let’s hope England can put a dent in that local theory …”

Ah, so you’re on the ground, you lucky thing. Google tells me it’s cloudy in Wellington today, but the TV pictures suggest it’s glorious sunshine.

What with the Guardian & Observer NUJ chapel being on strike most staff were not working yesterday, so here’s PA Media on Harry Brook: