“Will Unwin
“Patrick Bamford! Joël Piroe! Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink!” are screamed at me as shots are thrashed towards the net, testing my reflexes. Somehow I have become the fourth goalkeeper at one of Harrogate Town’s final training sessions before facing the Championship leaders, Leeds, in the third round of the FA Cup, one of the most significant games in the club’s 106-year existence.
It is too cold on this freezing morning for it to be a fever dream. There are four days to go before the League Two strugglers take on the Premier League wannabes and the pitches at Rothwell Juniors where Harrogate train on the outskirts of Leeds are rock solid, with temporary ice rinks dotted around. The outfield players have seen the conditions and decided it is better to stay inside in the warmth and do some strength work, while the manager, Simon Weaver, goes about trying to find alternative indoor facilities for the coming days.
Earlier the squad was unified for the team meeting that started the day in the main room featuring a couple of Leeds shirts. It was a good weekend after Harrogate beat Barrow 2-0 for a first victory in eight games that had featured six defeats. Weaver says the performance in Cumbria was “night and day” from what had come before but acknowledges they are in a “scrap”. As talk turns towards Elland Road, seven miles away, the message is simple: “You have to be all-in.”
Layers and snoods are the order of the day for the goalkeepers as the boots crunch through the ice and equipment is carried 100 yards from the main building to the only usable goalmouth. The goalkeepers are sent on their way with a wave of jokes from teammates but it seems the union would rather enjoy a separate world in the freshest of air.
While elbows are scraped outside, the strength and conditioning and medical teams are utilising every conceivable space for activities. Ropes, weights and boxing mitts are squeezed into a corridor for some organised chaos, while the reception floor becomes a testing centre for hamstrings, and any additional free space houses electric heaters.
Our cabal consists of the first-choice keeper, James Belshaw, backup Mark Oxley, scholar Frank Shepherd and coach Phil Priestley. It is an experienced group: Belshaw was named player of the season when he helped Bristol Rovers to promotion to League One and Oxley has a Scottish Cup winner’s medal from Hibernian. They are preparing for the game of their lives with me, a man who looks like a Gabor Kiraly tribute act and whose only previous time between the sticks was for the Real Ale Society amid an injury crisis.
I point out that I got home from Wolverhampton at half past midnight and left for Leeds at 7.30am. It is good to get the excuses in early. “You’re better than I expected,” are the words of encouragement from Belshaw during a two-touch exercise, the fun before the glove work. The professionals had carried out “pre-activation” warm-ups to ready themselves while I had a coffee and pondered why there was a framed Dinamo Bucharest shirt in the clubhouse. I see off Priestley and Shepherd in the two-touch but my control eventually fails. I mark this down as my first victory as a professional footballer.
Belshaw is worked over, while the youthful Shepherd, who looks confused by a Phoenix Nights reference, and Oxley warm up their hands with ball drills. When obstacles are set along the goalline, I fear what I’ve got myself into. The order is to jump over cones and dodge mannequins before facing a shot, then produce more “quick” feet before, with Priestly bellowing “DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!” Belshaw throws the ball to my right on three occasions, forcing me to jump up between times.
Priestley’s key attribute is being able to thwack a ball unspeakably hard to test a goalkeeper’s reflexes and wrist strength. It all looks pretty easy until you are in the in the line of fire of Priestley’s left boot, hardened by a playing career mainly spent in the semi-professional game. By a miracle the ball sticks in the gloves regularly. There is even a diving save for the cameras.
The close-knit nature of the department is evident. Saves are made in training that would earn a standing ovation from a crowd but these will not be remembered tomorrow. It is mistakes that regularly make headlines for goalkeepers but hard work here will reduce the chance of those.
“It’s a bit of a cliche saying they’re a bit of their own entity and madder but it’s true,” Weaver says. “They’ll be out there with their leggings on but it’s still rock hard. Belshaw backs himself, which at this level can make him one of the better keepers, and he’s an intelligent lad. Then we’ve got Mark Oxley, who’s been there and done it and played for Hibernian, a very good option. He’s incredible, he’s had to sit out the majority of games but he’s behind me, willing the lads on, and that’s a rare breed.”
Does Weaver require a third senior goalkeeper, a Scott Carson vibesman figure to maintain morale? “At times we’re at our wits’ end worrying that both keepers go down ill overnight on a Friday,” he says. Could I be in?
After my hour of diving on ice, I return to the clubhouse in search of warmth. The club secretary, Mary Lally, is sorting the players’ tickets. There are a few Leeds supporters in the squad, including the captain, Josh Falkingham, a former Leeds academy player, who has requested 24 for family and friends. They will be part of almost 4,000 in the away end, about 1,000 more than Harrogate’s average attendance.
“It is a massive game for the football club, not just financially, but for us as players: we get to test ourselves against some of the best players in the country,” says Belshaw. “Leeds are playing well and look on course to return to the Premier League. It is a free hit for us. Hopefully we can put on a performance and potentially cause an upset.”
Like all club secretaries at this level, with such a massive game ahead, Lally’s versatility is being tested. What is her next task? “I am signing a player,” she replies. Could it possibly be? Have I done enough to earn a short-term deal? Belshaw offers his assessment. “He did not come last in the two-touch, which is a credit to him,” he says. “He showed good handling skills. What he lacks is movement across the goal and footwork.”
Harrogate is the epitome of a family club. Weaver, the country’s longest-serving manager, has been in the dugout for nearly 16 years, his dad, Irving, is the owner, and the next generation will be mascots at Elland Road. After Harrogate went professional in 2017 in National League North, they rose quickly to League Two in 2020 and have remained there on a relative shoestring. The money from this Cup run reduces the deficit and helps make them sustainable in the long term.
To many Leeds fans Harrogate are a second club. When Leeds are in the Premier League and have more spare Saturdays, Wetherby Road attendances are boosted. The Weavers hope this Cup tie will help to foster a relationship between the clubs that could be mutually beneficial.
“It’s a huge moment in the journey that we’ve been on,” Weaver Jr says. “You want moments in your career, not a mundane career. This is certainly a massive moment that players and staff will be able to look back on – there might be reunions based on this. There’s so many games that come and go that perhaps are forgettable; this will be unforgettable. We’ve got to make sure it’s unforgettable for the right reasons.”
I bid farewell to my new teammates, Belly, Ox and Frank the Tank, and start to prepare mentally for the match. Then the news is broken that the Huddersfield defender Eko Solomon is the new signing and I will be back to the day job in the stands, ready to insist every save made by Belshaw was inspired by me. Whether the tie ends in glory or defeat, the goalkeepers will be back on the training ground next week, come rain, shine, snow or ice. Alas, I will not, but at least I can say I had trials once.
